Over and Over: The 32nd Hunger Games SYOT

Chapter 8

I don't have either of the Nine Tributes, unless I misplaced their files, so here's Ten. I'll get back to Seven and Nine and if they're not filled by the time I finish Twelve I'll open them up.

Castiel Wickham POV

Every year two of us go to the Arena and die. I've watched it since I was four, and I always wondered why my parents cried so much. I knew it was wrong, but it never made me sad. I tried to feel sad like I knew I should, but I couldn't. Something was wrong with me. Maybe I was bad and God could never love me. I was supposed to be loving like he was. I could understand if he turned his back on me.

The boys around me were crying or staring ahead as we waited for Fluvius. Somewhere ahead of me, my little brother Seraph was waiting to see if he would die. I knew the only thing that would get a reaction from me is was if it was my name. All the other boys just seemed like buzzing insects. Even my little brother could just stop existing and I would go on. In any case, if I went to the Games I'd probably win. I was always smarter than the other kids and it almost seemed like my brain worked on a different level.

Fluvius started with the girls and Reaped Serena Hyland. A girl started to wail and I found the sound mournfully compelling. I wished I understood its origin, even with the pain it would bring. Fluvius reached for the second name.

"Castiel Wickham!"

Anger and self-pity, two emotions I never had trouble with, warred inside me. I blamed the officials for putting my slips by Fluvius' hand and the other boys for not taking enough tesserae. I shoved past the boys in my row and stood onstage glaring at the crowd. I fingered my cross necklace and guilt washed over me. Those boys didn't do anything to get me Reaped. I shouldn't have pushed them. In the crowd I saw Seraph mirroring me as he held his cross. It gave me hope, and a sad substitute for love stirred pathetically in me.

My visit with my family seemed distant and surreal. I should have been crying or at least trying to comfort them. Instead it felt like I was waiting for them to leave. We huddled together and spent most of the time praying. Everyone else in my family was good and faithful, and I hoped the grace they certainly carried would rub off on me. I didn't think I was really worthy to ask a loving and emotional god to help me, so I prayed for forgiveness instead.

"I love you all," I said when our time was almost up. Of course I didn't actually feel anything, and I knew if they weren't my family I wouldn't care about them. They believed me, though. It seemed so easy to fool people. Even though it was a lie, it was a nice one. It didn't seem evil not to let them know I didn't care.

There were so many contradictions to consider after they left. I had the ability to win the Games, but everything I had to do I was commanded not to do. I should have been a light to the world and a lover of all, but I was cold and heartless. I knew that with all my musings, my first priority would always be taking care of myself. I'd never found a way to change that.

Serena Hyland POV

I held on to Philip until the last second. He was the only thing in the Reaping Center that wasn't terrifying, and I hated watching him walk to his row. I stood by the medical official until he looked up at me.

"Hey," he demanded. I jumped and pulled my arms against my chest. "What are you doing?"

"I-I-I-I," I tried. The word stuck in my mouth and my brain froze up.

"Are you tarded? Get in your row," the official said. I looked through the crowd and tried to find the other girls my age. My breathing sped up and I wanted to cry.

"Don't have a fit. You're in that row," the official said, and he pointed me to a line of girls. I fled to one end and tried to pull myself together. The Peacekeepers patrolling the edges of the center made things worse, and my anxiety just mounted. Surely they were coming for me since I was late. Maybe they'd cancel the Reaping and just take me. I tried to pull into myself and look smaller.

Fluvius shouldn't have been scary. He seemed like a nice man, but all I saw was the slip he was about to fish from the bowl. It was like watching death come for you. I hunched over and clenched my fists when he held up a name.

"Serena Hyland!" he called. At the first syllable my heart leaped, but I still had hope. Maybe it was some other name. The rest of the letters slid out in slow motion, and I knew it was me. My nightmare was real, and I screamed in the terror of it. Somehow I got to the stage and stood drowning in my own tears. Some time later a boy joined me. He didn't even seem scared. He was probably a killer, and I might be one of his victims.

"Daddy!" I cried when I saw him come in. I ran to him and tried to grab him so hard the Peacekeepers couldn't get between us. "Don't l-l-l-let th-them t-t-take me." My father was a tall, strong man. He would never let me go.

"Serena," my mother said as she knelt beside me hugging me. She often seemed broken down and cynical, but I'd never seen her cry so hard. It seemed like we were only there a few seconds before the Peacekeepers came. I screamed for my father and his arms tightened around me. One Peacekeeper grabbed his arms as another curled his fingers off me one at a time. An unimaginably horrible thought came to me. He's going to lose hold. He started to make a horrible heaving cry, and I screamed as his hands were ripped away from me. The second Peacekeeper held my waist as the first dragged my father from the room. Mom went after them, trying to help Dad to his feet. I pulled at the Peacekeeper's hands and dug my feet into the ground as I tried to go after them, but soon they were gone. Dad hadn't been able to protect me. I'd been scared of everything but never imagined this nightmare. I was alone, and the fear would never end.

So far I've avoided religion, since I assumed it was squashed by the totalitarian regime. Of course, religion will never be entirely eradicated, and when Castiel was submitted as a Christian I rolled with it. He's the first I've received, but I'd be open to other religions too, even though I'm a Christian.