Sweet Southern Haven

It’s Not Your Fault

{Silas’ POV}

She cringed away from me, like I was a monster. Her body shook, while she cowered behind her arms. I wondered how many times she’d had to do that same thing. How many times she had to cower and hide behind her arms to try to escape. I just wanted to know what she’s been hiding. I wanted to know why she’s so secretive, and why she just shows up out of the blue, but now I’m sure it was something that I shouldn’t have known. At least something that she should have told me, not had me find it out like this. Whoever she’s running from, he hurt her, the way that she flinched away from me, he’d beaten her. I just scared her enough to take her back to that mindset, to make her feel so terrified, that she’d flinch away from me. Maybe I am a monster, I had no right to push her like that. I stood on the porch, and watched as she ran away from me. I sighed, running my hands through my hair.

I turned, making my way back to my truck and driving up to the house. I packed in the groceries, and started putting them away without a word. I didn’t want to talk to anyone, but of course mama had different plans. She walked into the kitchen, tying her apron around her. “Well, how’d it go?” She asked, a soft smile across her face. I turned, putting away the groceries, and sighed heavily. “That bad huh?” She asked.

“I didn’t mean to upset her!” I snapped, turning to face her. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped at ya..” I muttered, turning back and putting away the groceries. “We had a nice conversation, but I screwed it up, and I upset her. I was going to try to comfort her, when I realized she was crying. I walked up on her, and she flinched, before running away from me.” I sighed, placing both of my hands on the counter. “Whoever she’s running from, he hurt her mama.. and I, I made her feel like she wasn’t safe with me.”

She walked up behind me, smacking me on the back of the head. “I told you to be nice to that girl, and what do you do? You go off and scare the poor thing. Look, I don’t know much about who it is that she’s running from, but it’s the reason she isn’t supposed to go out. The person that’s after her, he’s dangerous, and she isn’t supposed to be found. She’s in witness protection, honey. You don’t get put into that just because you have a bad experience with someone. You get put there when your life is in danger.” She shook her head, turning away and putting some of the groceries away. “She’s had a hard life, and it got harder when she moved here. She didn’t even know that her father had passed, they never talked. Her mother cut all contact with Roy when she left. Her mother passed away not too long ago too, so now she’s all alone. I don’t know everything honey, but I know that, that poor girl has been through a lot.” She sighed, finishing putting away the rest of the groceries.

I groaned, rubbing the back of my neck, before turning and walking back out of the house. I stormed back down to The Bennett Ranch. I made my way to her porch and began banging on the door. “Noelle?” I shouted, but she never answered. I knocked louder, “Noelle? Please, can I talk to you?” I shouted louder.

I saw her form peak around the corner upstairs. She slowly made her way down, her hands in the pockets of her robe. She stood at the front door, before opening it and shoving her hand back down in her pocket before turning away and going into the living room. “What do you want Silas?” She asked, sitting down on the couch.

I walked in, and made my way to the chair that sat off to the side of the couch. “I’m sorry..” I whispered. “I didn’t mean to scare you, honest I didn’t. I saw that you were crying, and I was going to try to comfort you, but I’m..” I sighed. “Look, I’m not good at being a comfort to anyone, not even Emmaline. She’s everything to me, and I.. I haven’t been able to find the words to comfort her since her mama died.” I sighed, shaking my head. “I’m used to being the one that’s always strong, and I was wrong to say those things to you. I just don’t want to see my daughter hurt again, but in being so overprotective, I didn’t see that you were hurt..” I said.

“Stop!” She shouted, standing up and turning away. I watched as she pulled her hands out of her robe pockets and ran them through her hair. They were wrapped in bandages, with blood beginning to soak through across her knuckles.

“What happened?” I asked, standing up and walking towards her.

She held her hands out, backing away. “I said stop!” She shouted again. “The last thing that I need is someone looking at me like that! Like I’m broken, or somehow less because of what happened to me! I don’t need someone to pity me!” I she snapped. “I’ve had nothing but people doting on me, and babying me, looking at me like I’m some poor thing that needs to be coddled. I’m so tired of the sideways glances, and of everyone pitying me! It was my choice to stay with him! It was my choice to call the cops! It.. it was my fault!” She cried, her body began shaking as sobs escaped her throat. “I.. I am the only person to blame for the situation I’m in now!”

I walked slowly to her, she lifted her hands trying to force me to stay back. I walked closer, before pulling her into my chest and hugging her gently. “It’s not your fault Noelle, no man should ever put his hands on a woman. You stayed because you cared about him, and loving someone isn’t a crime.” I said softly, rubbing up and down her back and kissing the top of her head.