Lone Lovers Ledge

A Love For Christmas

Watching as snowflakes danced past the windows was one of the most magical moments especially when you're spending it with those you love. Honestly I didn't expect to be sitting beside the goddess of love whilst drinking hot cocoa with marshmallows and whipped cream on top whilst watching the most Christmassy movie we could find, cuddled into her as her arm was around my shoulder with the fire crackling and beaming warmth into the room. What did I expect? I expected to be stuck with a new husband, being forced to do all types of labour whilst he and friends got drunk whilst expecting me to take care of them, expecting to be able to use me for pleasures whilst then throwing me out when i was all used up, expecting me to dress up how he likes whilst ensuring his happiness came over my own. Watching a christmas film with popcorn in between us with melted chocolate drizzled atop as if she already knew my every preference before even meeting me which only made my heart melt some more than it already has. It was beauty in its truest form as on christmas day, what more could you possibly ask for, than a heartwarming ending to finish the year off on.

Thinking back to my past life may be seen as a mistake but not to me especially when that past life has helped shape me to who i am today with a little help from aphrodite of course. However my past began with an abusive mother who truly despised my existence and who would always try to sell me off to men for the highest bidder to ensure she got money out of it whilst getting rid of her accidental prone daughter. Growing up I never believed myself to be of any value seeing as i would always do the housework whilst being called a degenerate and a mistake but I had always believed that it was somehow my fault all this had occurred which is why my father never came for me. However I always held the hope, close to my chest, that another day would bring on a better temper, a better man perhaps, a better life, a better parent, a view that I had always wished for but never gotten. Being denied presents, birthdays, christmases made me see that maybe that was how my life was meant to be; a slave to those around me.

Thinking back to the present day was like a relief on a fresh day as the sun rose and hopes were renewed but given that light to begin again. Initially meeting aphrodite was a dream come true; it still is but so much better. Finally i would be able to enjoy a gift i have always been robbed from, one my mother has never been able to give nor show to me, one that will shape my life forever more as aphrodite granted my wish of someone finally loving me, as i had always believed my mother was incapable of doing so. Being able to cuddle with someone, be kissed, be told I was enough, be told I was loved and nothing could change that, was the gift I had been hoping for, the change I had been hoping would come with a new day as the moon would set and the sun would rise. And now? Being able to enjoy the beauty in life with someone who truly appreciated me for who I am. As it seems being alone wasn't worth it, being on the edge of loneliness certainly wasn't either, but being with your lover on christmas day was the only i wanted my story to end.