Reincarnation of Audemars - Who Am I...?

The Fight

*STATS*

STR: Damage +3000 Armour +3000

DEX: Damage +2000 Dodge 200% Stealth 200%

INT: Damage +1270 Resistance +127%

VIT: Health +25,000

TOUGH: Armour +4500 (+8500)

DAM: +13,750 (+96.25)

REC: Mana +12915

"Alright, I've got more than enough Health and able to withstand attacks as such since I've got 13k armour, thanks to my steel meshed reinforced body armour." I slowly stood up, hunched and swung my arms like how a zombie would look like and lumbered slowly towards the Barbarian/Berserker/KnightWarrior/Wizard or I just coined it for BBKW for short. I hate typing so long descriptions for such a towering freak like that beast.

When BBKW lunged towards me, he looked like those marauding Orcs that I had fought against in many of the party raids just to get their pieces of weapons and armours. Not only he looked like a mutant ninja turtle with his bulging arms and leg muscles, but I could also imagine him to be like God's Army of Punishment from RTW...

Each step that he took shook the ground as he made a barging advance with his shoulders like NFL and once again I spun around in the air, knocked silly like a rag doll. Prius looked on with horror-stricken face and eyes but I managed to give him a wink and a thumbs-up before I was hit by that raging mutated bull.

"HHHUUAARRGGHHH..." I purposely screamed out as I inserted a few fake blood pills and bite on them as I blew it in the air, like as if it was my own blood that spluttered out. I landed on the ground, literally looked like a crumpled origami as I was picked up by BBKW High above his head, spun a few times and was thrown like a human Frisbee, sliding and spread-eagled across the floor.

I decided to play dead when suddenly, the BBKW wanted to incite the masses as he sent them into a frenzy when he removed 2 short-handle battle axes from behind his back and stormed towards me. "THIS IS NOT GOOD... UNARMED MELEE IS OK BUT THIS...??!!" I was lying on my back and my head was in his direction.

He clanged his 2 shirt-handle battle axes as he 'S H A R P E N' it using one of his spells and swung down in my direction with both of the battle axes. As soon as it was nearing me in that downward swing, I used my feet and propel myself away from imminent danger as the two axes missed my wonderful long locks by a few inches.

I can see the flint of the axes and I knew it was at least a Level 2 iron. The axes were brought down with such force that the ground simply splintered, sending shards of broken pieces into the air and cracks were formed around where it had landed. "FUCK... IS THAT A LEGENDARY WEAPON?"

No f*****g way I'm going to use my body to block and parry that weapon so I quickslot and only retrieved my n****e Buckler... And when I took it out, peals of laughter could be heard among the stands like as if I'm in a gladiator set of some sort, holding a large n****e to block the onslaught of the attacks.

I acted as if it was a pain to stand up after that body toss and I raised and peered from behind my n****e Buckler and said, "Peekaboo... I see you... Hah hah hah" and BBKW raised his battle axe and used it as though he was slicing and dicing his way through a large freezer filled with beef carcases as I blocked every single hack that was made the 2 axes.

I hummed the tune from Rocky Theme loud enough for the BBKW to synchronise it with every "Pah Pah Paaa" "Clang Clang" as the battle axes hit against the n****e buckler. It was entertaining as I acted like as if those blows were literally knocking me back. Hah hah hah...

The Ruler was bouncing on and off his throne as he slammed down his hands on the armrest as he saw every blow of the axe made by BBKW hits the n****e buckler. The ruler stomped with his two feet when he saw I fell to one knee due to the 'forced blows' of the axes and clapped happily like a little girl. Yeah...

I had now as if regained my strength and ran around in circles as I absorbed blows after blows and acted as if I was overwhelmed by it and threw myself down on my back as I blocked the blows every now and then.

I slowly stood up, using my buckler as a support as I raised my left hand at BBKW as he too was breathing heavily from all the exertions and I copied his breathing too. All this while Prius thought I was done for in this battle and I showed a time out a sign as I placed my buckler upright and sat on it.

BBKW gestured to me and said how long more we going to act because his energy is depleting fast. He talked through his teeth as he bent over and used his hands down on his knees to support it as he huffed and puffed like a big old gorilla.

I instructed to him in a barely audible whisper and said, "Just strike me once across my chest and I will throw my arms in the air and spin around like a broken ballerina and you give me a kick and I will tumble like Jack and Jill and lay broken like Humpty Dumpty."

"Stand with one leg on my back and holler like King Kong, beat your chest and its over... " BBKW nodded because no one actually choreographed the fight scene and we have to make it up along the way. Hah hah hah...

The fight had been going for more than 10 minutes and the paramedic staffs were on standby to carry off the injured while some girls were there to present the winner with some garlands of flowers like a Hawaiian Lei.

"Alright, let's go and end this... RAWR..." I shouted as I went forward and bashed the BBKW with my n****e buckler as he was slightly thrown off his balance. WHAAAAAATTTTTT? I used only about 25% of my strength and he was already thrown off his balance.

I flapped my n****e buckler like a flappy bird app game and was cawing at him to come forward. I was like Hulk Hogan doing his signature move and rushed forward as he took it as a cue to slashed me across the body armour.

"HHUUAARRGGHH..." I threw my arms in the air and spun around like a broken ballerina a few times in slow motion as I described to him and fell face forward. Heh... That slice did not even hurt nor scratch my armour one bit ...!!!

I can feel his foot over my back as he hollered his warcry and beat his chest with his short-handled battle axes and then the fight is finally over. The Ruler was very excited as he bounded on and off his throne and clapped his hands as he swiped his hands to end the fight.

The paramedics rushed over and placed me on the stretcher and carried me off while the BBKW went over to his Ruler and bowed on one knee as the girls presented garlands of flowers around his neck.

"HOHO... A tradesman who acted like a Hero...Baahh...No one could ever beat my warriors... Not even one. They are the BEST there is and the BEST it will ever be. Send the Lord of Keating out of this Court along with his crumpled companion. HOHO HOHO HOHO... " the Ruler boomed his voice again over the amplified speakers once more.

Prius bowed to the Ruler and was rushing over to the paramedics when they brought my body out of the Court and dumped me just outside the entrance where we were greeted by the Court Jester earlier.

Prius was bending over me and checking my vital signs and tears welled up in his eyes as he stammered, "P... Please forgive me, m... My friend. If I knew this could happen, I wouldn't have brought you here and would have never taken the quest to get the water from the Fountain of Youth."

Prius practically melted his face over me and I could feel hot tears down on my arms when he bent over and hugged my so-called lifeless body. "What am I going to tell Pat? Oh... Woe is me... Now my sister is going to end like an old wrinkly spinster till her death for not being able to marry this man and bear any Macleods at all... Boo Hoo Hoo...."

"Oi... I'm not dead yet. Let's get the hell out of here before they find out I'm only acting..." I said as I picked myself up and dusted myself off since I was thrown out like a piece of rolled over roadkill.

Prius looked at me dumbfoundedly and was speechless and I held his arm and pulled him away from the Court's entrance and disappeared into the crowd. He was wiping his tears and snot on the sleeve of his tunic and was staring in disbelief that I was actually alright.

"You...you are alright? You didn't get killed just now? I saw that blood shoot off from your mouth and dribbling at the sides but you're alright?!?! That strike from the axe sounded surreal and it sounds like it had sliced through your body in two...!!!" Prius was saying as he was pulled into the crowd of revellers.

"His bloody axe didn't even leave a scratch on my n****e buckler so I knew his axes were meant for cosplaying. Do you think I would be crazy enough to let him slay me? Talk later... Warp us out of here when we leave those gates..."

The gates opened up when the guards saw us leaving in a hurried manner and once we were out by the outskirts of Aermagh, Prius activated his Map and we were immediately warped out from there and reached Southern Gates of Ingmery. It was the second time we had been to the Southern Plains and I asked, "What type of monsters lies in here? Do you have any idea at all?"

Prius managed to catch his breath from the shock and excitement and spoke up, "Desert Warg, The Red Axes Orcs, The Corpse Maws Skeletons and Pseudoscorpion. These to name a few and beyond that would be the Wastelands where you would find all kinds of Radiated and Mutated beasts."

I looked in the distance and I said, "I would like to grind those for a change." as Prius managed to catch his breath and regained his composure. I looked at my interface and saw on my Map there are two new locations, The City of Aermagh and Southern Plains.

Not bad... Not bad at all. I wonder what kind of spoils I would get and how valuable those spoils might be. Skeletons and Orcs eh...they sure would be dropping lots of weapons and armour... Hehehe.

I placed my arm on Prius shoulder as we walked through the Southern Gates after the guards identified us through our identification cards. We walked in the streets and were welcomed by the serenity of this side of town as there's no mess and revellers like the mad City of Aermagh.