Seize your fate

True Wendigo

Chapter 7

It has been over two weeks. Sienna had walked up stream for days. She drank from the brook and forged for food. Occasionally, the white wolf walking with her, brought her a rabbit or squirl. Sienna didn’t know how to light a fire, so she thanked the wolf and continued on. She slept when she felt too exhausted to keep going, curled up with the wolf. Snuggling at its fur, to keep herself warm. She missed Adrien. Her body ached without him. But, the more she walked, the more she began to know herself. The depths of her feelings, and the abilities of her senses. Her sight became clearer in the night, and she could see further and further in the dark. The darkness she once feared, had become her companion. She knew she could trust the spirits to guide her way. How much she has changed in these past few weeks. It started with Adrien. He had awakened something deep within her, and it has grown ever since. She was tired and hungry, her body aching with loss, but she kept going. She was becoming the strong fighter she always knew she was.

Adrien had worked tirelessly the past few weeks piecing it all together. Clarissa had asked her father for help, so they could speak to the Shaman of the English pack. She was a big help. She had all the documents they needed to fill in the blanks. She had so much information. There were two other Shamans except herself and his grandfather. One was with the German pack, and one in Scandinavia. She was able to give them more accurate numbers of werewolves living in existence, and it was worst then they imagined. There were less than fifteen packs worldwide, all in the Americas and Europe. One was in Russia, as far as she knew, but they were unreachable. The Packs from Scandinavia had also completely disappeared. She was able to tell them that werewolves most likely were Native American originally, and as the first settlers came, they stayed hidden. In time, they did start to live among the humans, and for some unknown reason mated with them. Slowly, werewolves travelled to Europe and packs grew there. They had spoken to Hilda many times, as they read every book, letter and document they could find. She would fill in more and more blanks for them.

They managed to trace back the legends, until the picture became clear. Werewolves were originally Native American, as Hilda said. There weren’t that many of them, and they stayed away from humans. As the settlers came, they ran as to not assimilate with humans, but as the territories became smaller and smaller, they had no choice. Slowly, they let go of their ancient ways, like the mating and marking ceremony and grew distant from the land. Even Hilda couldn’t explain exactly what that ceremony was or why they stopped. The first Wendigo was found in the south. She was the Luna of the strongest Alpha known down south. She could do things with her mind. She and the Alpha were linked by thought. She would sit and stare for hours, what Sienna referred to as daydreaming and somehow this power would help the pack. It wasn’t stated how exactly. They appeared in the packs, as the werewolves were becoming more and more rare, and much human suffering. The Rougarou also appeared then. He was always an Alpha, of unspeakable size and strength, who protected the packs, as they became scarce. One letter they found, spoke of the last Alpha Rougarou and Wendigo Luna. It didn’t say much, but that they were magical. They had led the packs to safety, away from the humans. They assumed these were their ancestors. They were able to trace the werewolves who mated with humans and moved from the colonies back to Europe. It was clear from the numbers that most of the werewolves were in packs in the Americas, and they were the biggest in number. The Rougarou, according to the documents they found, was like a moral compass. He was not just a skilled warrior and fierce fighter, but he was very honest and true. He had very strong instincts and was fair and just. All were equal before his law, and all were judged fairly. Any pack led by a Rougarou were always led to safety and lived well. He was their savior. Yet some Rougarou had not mated, and that was apparently their downfall, as they became sickly and weak. The only Rougarou to survive beyond what was normal for werewolves, was the one mated to the Wendigo Luna. It was said that at the Europe packs grew scarce, it was the Rougarou Alpha who mated the Luna of the pack, thus creating the Lycans, who were considered royalty, due to their human links. Adrien needed to be married. That is what they gathered from their research. The Rougarou could be detected through size, but there was no way to detect the Wendigo. The only thing known about mates, was that they both would be in heat, but it wasn’t exactly stated what that was exactly and how it looked. Damien assumed to mate just meant horny or pregnant. But that was every young wolf. But Adrien felt different with Sienna, than he had felt with anyone else. Maybe that was just him becoming the Rougarou. There were still so many questions that remained unanswered.         

At night, Adrien would sit on the porch at nights waiting for Sienna. His once strong body, weakened without her. He didn’t know if he would ever see her again. She was safe with Blackhawk, but where had they gone and why haven’t they yet returned? He couldn’t sleep. Sometimes at night he would shift and run through the forest, but never picking up her scent anywhere. She was completely gone. Sol, the daughter of the neighboring Alpha, was coming to meet him in a week. A wedding date had been set. He knew what she looked like, but no more than that. She was tall and slender. She had long brown hair, and chocolate-brown eyes. She was young and very beautiful. But she wasn’t Sienna. Maybe Sienna was never coming back. Maybe Blackhawk was keeping her away on purpose, so that Adrien would mate Sol. He had to marry her to stop a war. This war could also hurt the humans. They had learned that the werewolves’ purpose was to keep balance in nature, but also to protect the humans, a goal they had neglected for centuries. 

Hilda had reached out to Gina, the Lycan Shaman. She did note that the numbers of werewolves living in isolation and descending into insanity were rising in an alarming rate. This was an extinction.

Most werewolves don't even live in packs anymore, and a big part of them had no idea they were in fact werewolves. The ones living in very small packs, were very assimilated in the human population. They had become even smaller in size, and resembled humans almost completely.     

 “I think nature has selected us for extinction.” Jacob said one day. “I don’t see how we can fight that.” Adrien agreed. Whatever eas happening to their species couldn’t be stopped. They had turned their back on nature, and nature selected them to be extinct. It was that simple. All Adrien could really do was stop a war. He would have to marry Sol and mate her to save the packs. It was his duty. He felt like he had fallen in love with Sienna, but he had to put the pack’s needs before his own. If he had only known it was the last time he would see her, he would have said goodbye, or something. He would have professed his love for her, regardless of what she felt. He would have begged her to trust he was coming back, and not to leave. He would have told her the truth about who he was, who they all were. He would have done so much more, but he had no idea that when he came back, she would be gone, never to return. This was truly his punishment, for being the monster that he was. Never telling her the truth, letting her feel safe with him.   

They had been working so hard they hadn’t realized that tomorrow was the day Sol was coming. Adrien sat with his Bettas, outside the gym. They came to blow off some steam, but never went inside. “We need to do something to mark this day,” Damien said. They both shook their heads. “I don’t mean drinking,” he winked. “I think we should all get a haircut.” They both glared at him. Their long hair? The hair they had been growing for years? It was a sign of their manhood. “I think we need to somehow change our energy.” Adrien thought it was a crazy idea, but he was willing to try anything at this point. Letting go of Sienna was the hardest thing he had ever done, and it seemed he was losing the battle. “Let’s go,” he said getting up, surprising them both. “But if I look stupid after this… It’s on you.” They went to his truck and sped off the reservation. 

The next day Adrien was sitting in his parents living room. Damien and Jacob were sitting with him, as his mom entertained Sol’s mother. The Alphas were chatting over scotch. Sol sat across from him. It was all very uncomfortable. He ran his fingers through his now shorter hair. His mother almost fainted when she saw him. “But I do have to admit Adrien, you do look even more handsome now,” she giggled. “Sol will be happy.” He looked at Sol. She was very beautiful. For an arranged marriage he could do a lot worst. She was slender and fragile. Her big, beautiful eyes staring at him. “Sol, you want to take a walk outside?” She smiled and stood up. Thanking him for the rescue. “We are going to take a walk outside,” he announced to the room. Only his Bettas heard him. He opened the door for her as they stepped outside. “Your territories are beautiful,” Sol said. Adrien smiled. “I heard you had a Shaman in the pack?” Adrien nodded. “Yes. My grandfather. Blackhawk.” Sol looked excited. “I would love to meet him. I am so interested our spiritual side.” “He isn’t here now. But when he comes back, I am sure it will be his pleasure.” He decided to take her to the cabin. It was his favorite place after all. A small part of him was hoping that Sienna would be there waiting for him, and maybe together they could find a way out of this mess. They walked together, talking about their lives, as children of Alphas. They did have a lot in common, and Adrien relaxed a bit more. He really could do worst. They arrived at the cabin, and suddenly Adrien was nervous about letting her in. He didn’t want to share their research yet, so they sat on the porch. “I can see why you love this place, Adrien. It’s so peaceful here.” He smiled and sat on the front stoop. It’s now or never. He pulled her between his legs. He stroked her cheek and pulled her face closer. Would he feel the same as with Sienna? Maybe even better? She blushed as their lips met gently. He felt her body responding to his touch, but he was numb. His body ached. There was a hole in his chest. He pulled back. “Adrien,” Sol whispered. “I think I need to tell you that I am a virgin.” Adrien was surprised. She was so beautiful; how is it no man had ever been with her? “That’s alright Sol,” he smiled. “I have enough experience for the both of us.” She seemed to relax, as she sank into his body. She would make some lucky the perfect wife, but she wasn’t Sienna. 

They sat on the porch of the cabin kissing gently. It was nice, and sweet, a very short distraction from his aching sorrow over missing Sienna. Adrien finally stood up and took her by the hand. “I think our parents will be wondering where we are.” They walked back to the house hand in hand. His skin didn’t tingle, and he didn’t feel calmer with her. 

Adrien couldn’t sleep all night. Sol was perfect. Any man would be more than lucky to have her, but she wasn’t Sienna. He couldn’t stop yearning for her, craving her scent and her taste. Getting lost in her eyes. The howling sounds from outside made him leap out of his bed. He ran downstairs in his boxers. His mother was crying on the floor, as his father held her. He looked up at Adrien. “They found Blackhawk’s body. It seemed he died in the snow, a couple weeks ago. I am so sorry Adrien.” Adrien grabbed his pants and shoes. He wasn’t even wearing a shirt as he ran into the cold. He had never run so fast in his human form in his life. He could here the howling across the reservation as word spread like wildfire. He reached the cabin to find Damien and Jacob, staring down. They caught him. Blackhawk’s small body was on the ground, and his black wolf lay next to him, snarling at anyone trying to come near. Clarissa arrived ten minutes later, breaking down into tears. “Who found him?” Adrien barked. “I did.” Damien said. I came to the cabin this morning to work, and he was just lying here. He was surrounded by the pack, now only the black one is here.” Adrien eyes were wild. What does this mean, that Sienna was dead too? He bent down slowly, petting the black wolf calming him down. He inspected Blackhawk carefully. He seemed to have died some weeks ago. If the wolves carried him from the forest Sienna was probably dead as well. She could never have found her way out of there. That’s why he couldn’t pick up her scent. He fell on Blackhawk’s body, tears streaming down his face. This was his destiny. He had true love for such little time. Clarissa was sobbing violently, as Damien held her. The realization that Sienna was dead as well was spreading through them. His grandfather took her away so that he could mate Sol and save the pack, and now they were both dead. How could fate be so cruel? Jacob held him as he cried, letting go of all the pain he had been feeling. He had never really had any other feeling but rage, and when he felt love it was taken away from him so quickly. He swore on his grandfather’s body that he would never love again. His heart would be stone from now on, just to never feel this pain again. 

Sienna’s chest also ached. She could barely breath. She felt tears welling in her eyes, as she lay on the floor of the cave, her wolf howling beside her. This was a pain like she had never felt before. She felt like her chest was splitting in two, as she passed out from the pain on the cave floor. 

When she came to, a small fire was burning in the corner. She sat slowly, her chest throbbing in pain. She could barely catch her breath. She tried to steady herself and her breathing. She could see someone sitting in the corner. It was Blackhawk. She tried to get up, her legs shaking beneath her. Her throat was so dry. She had reached the cave suddenly. One second there was nothing there, and one second the cave appeared. As she stepped inside, she felt the pain in her chest. If Blackhawk is here, maybe she was dead. She managed to stand and walk to him. “Only one of us is dead child, and it’s not you,” he said quietly. She sat across from him on the ground. He looked the same, maybe a bit younger. “I am here to tell what you need to know to continue your journey.” She nodded. “I want you to understand one very important thing. Our fate isn’t chosen for us. We choose our fate. Every choice we make, sends us on a different path.” She sat silently. Her wolf was gone, and she felt cold without her. “I don’t have much time, since the barrier between the spirit world is very delicate.” Sienna kept sitting quietly. “You did not know your parents, but your father was a werewolf. A dissented of the last Wendigo. He mated a human, but still, you have Wendigo blood in you. You cannot shift into a wolf, but you have all the markings of one. You are a Shaman, a healer and now you belong to the pack.” Sienna suddenly noticed two moon crest scars on her wrist, marking her as the Shaman. “Your road will be a hard one, but it is to prepare you for your true calling. A Wendigo’s truest power is the ability to penetrate in her mind the place of collective thoughts and memories. As you sit and daydream, you can reach the place in all of us, where our collective memories reside, and our most primal knowledge. It is how you heal the pack.” She had so many more questions, but she wanted to let him finish. “Now I must go, and let you keep on your long journey.” Sienna rushed, “Can I ask one thing?” “Hurry child.” “Is that all a Wendigo can do?” He chuckled, rumbling the cave. “Oh no. The Wendigo is a gift from nature and has many surprises…” and just like that he was gone, along with the cave. She fell to her knees to drink from the brook. It was the most refreshing drink of water she had ever had. She kept drinking, unable to quench her thirst. The pain in her chest had subsided, and she was feeling stronger. Her wolf came back and snuggled against her body, nuzzling her neck. She felt warm again. It was time to head back to the pack. 

Three more weeks had passed, as Adrien mourned the loss of Blackhawk. There was a large and very traditional funeral. Blackhawk’s body had been bathed and dressed by specific members of the pack, including Adrien. He was then carried into the forest, with his most beloved possessions. They also buried the tools used to dig the grave. The wolves stood among the trees, watching the funeral as they howled in mourning. The werewolves joined them, and for a moment they were at one with the wolf.  He mourned Sienna’s loss privately. Only he and Clarissa. They had sat together at the cabin. Clarissa could not stop crying as Adrien held her. He couldn’t stop crying either. Damien and Jacob didn’t let anyone in. Everyone assumed Adrien was just mourning his grandfather. “She was my family,” Clarissa sobbed. The last thing she saw were my canines. I was barely able to explain myself to her.” The tears couldn’t stop. “She died hating that I was a liar.” Adrien could barely speak. He came back so fast to her and she was gone. She had been punished for his sins, and now she was dead and he was completely alone. He never told her what he had done to those women, how much of a monster he was. That he was cursed, and now she paid the ultimate price. He was worse than a monster. He was cursed, poison. Anybody who would come close would be hurt. He thought the pain would never leave him. After they left the cabin, Adrien went into his bed. He lay in his bed, refusing food and water. Sol sat by his bed every day silently. She really was perfect. Why couldn’t he stop hurting so badly? Sienna was amazing, but he had known her two weeks. Only two weeks. Two glorious and incredible weeks. He has been without her now, longer than he was with her. And she was dead. With him was this amazing girl he had to mate, and he couldn’t stop mourning her loss. It was as if his heart was ripped from his chest. His heart had died. Sol had come every day with warm soup, or homemade cookies. She tried everything, but he couldn’t even look at her. Her scent was ordinary. There was nothing comforting about her. She even tried to lay with him in the bed, but it had no effect on him. She wasn’t Sienna. If he killed himself to join Sienna nobody would start a war over that. But he was the Alpha’s only son. He had to marry her. The wedding was soon, on Sol’s twentieth birthday. His life changed so much in the past two months. He needed his grandfather, and he really needed Sienna and they were both gone. His parents were worried that he wouldn’t be able to accept his title and go through the wedding. This was no way for an Alpha to behave. He was weak. He had to let his heart die, so that he could continue. He didn’t know what hurt more the love he had for her or the guilt he felt? He had to forget Sienna. The beast inside him with wild with rage, and he needed some comfort. He needed to let the beast take over, and just die.  

Sol came in as she did every day, to see Adrien step out of his shower. A towel hanging around his waist. She marveled at his body. She blushed and shifted her gaze. Adrien chuckled. “We are going to be married soon… you will see me naked.” She giggled. “I also sleep naked so…” She felt the tips of her ears turn red. He smiled at her shyness, as he came closer to her. “It’s alright, you can look.” She lifted her gaze to look at his body. He was the biggest man she had ever seen, and he was the first man she would ever see naked. She felt excited. Adrien sat on his bed, pulling her into his lap. This was the closest she had ever felt to anybody. He pulled her in kissing her gently. In time, maybe the aching pain he felt in his chest would disappear. He let her trace his body with her hands, feeling his muscles and curves. She looked so happy; it wasn’t affecting him at all. He was dying with every breath, giving his beast complete control. Adrien deepened his kiss, feeling her gasp in his mouth. She was pure and sweet. Sol was a virgin, but she had kissed before. Adrien was different. His kisses were rough. She drew back to catch her breath, and got up, walking to the door and locking it. “Sol what are you doing?” She smiled and took of her shirt. Her laced bra was tight against her small breasts. She walked towards him, watching him harden under his towel. She stood between his open legs, feeling his bulge. She was happy. Adrien was kind, beautiful and strong. She felt so lucky that he was going to be her husband. But the Adrien she knew was almost gone. He began kissing her neck, tracing down to her collar bone. He could feel her body tense as he came closer to her breasts. He sensed that no one had ever touched her in such a way. He looked into her eyes as he began nibbling her already swollen n****e. She felt her pulse race. This was a new and exciting feeling. She let out a small moan and he felt himself harden more. He could get used to her innocent and slender body. She wanted to see all of him, and she wanted him to see her. She took of the rest of her cloths, slowly, watching his reaction. She couldn’t exactly read his expressions. He stood up, as his towel fell. Her eyes widened, and that made him even harder. Thinking how tight she would be. He lay on his bed, and she joined him. They lay naked, her hands caressing his body. He felt nothing, but violent lust. His eyes were black. Suddenly there was a loud knock at the door, as he let out a small growl. “What?” he shouted, making sure he doesn’t scare her. “Adrien it’s me.” His ears shot up. Clarissa? “Um… I am really sorry to bother you, this is an emergency. Sienna is back.”