Rebel Hearts

One: Because of You

One: Because of You

Ahma stood upright on the mini stage customized for this mini occasion of the family. My back hurt from keeping the straight posture of my back. I couldn't bend my back to relax my sore back muscles. If Mom sees me slouching, she would slap my back to remind me of my unpleasant posture.

My ears perked up when Ahma clapped her hands lightly. All our attention flew to her. The thick tension around my family stilled as Ahma smiled at us. My eyes darted around and saw my cousins sitting stiffly across the tables.

"My heart hurts so much because of too much love blooming inside me. It felt so good to see all of you complete and together. Oh, how I wish it would always be like this. I deeply miss all my grandkids," she pulled a shiny beige handkerchief and wiped it elegantly across her cheeks.

I bit my inner cheek to stop myself from inwardly huffing. Ahma is at it again. The drama she displays every time we have a gathering like this takes too much time. I pitied the toddlers who were forced to stay quiet on their chairs. They couldn't stand and run around because Ahma is talking in front of us.

"This is what I am talking about. This is what family stands for. This is what it means to be a family," her slit eyes turned sharper.

I rested my eyes on her shoulders to avoid her piercing eyes. I know her intentions. I know what she is thinking. This is probably about my brother's rebellion against the family. Bitterness covered my reasons. I don't know what to think anymore.

"I know my grandkids will do well when it comes to decision making. I trust all of you," she added.

Traditions.

Tradition is what makes us family. The long-lived traditions of my family were embedded in my mind, heart, body, and soul. I know there is nothing that can break me away from my family. Since I was a child, the responsibilities and traditions were taught to me.

The unwritten rules were sketched in our minds since day one. I had long thrown out the dream of having a normal life. Impossible. It was all just an impossible dream for me.

"The traditions should never be broken. I have trust in all of you," she said with finality lacing in her voice

All of us remained quiet. No one dared to talk or comment about that. I wandered my eyes and saw how our parents looked down. My parents darkened and serious face caught my attention.

"Now, all these talks make me hungry. We should start our lunch," Ahma concluded with a grin. She left the stage. Dad went to her side immediately to guide her off the stairs.

As if all of us were relieved from hell, I heard everyone heaved a quiet sigh. I bit my lip and do the same. I breathed deeply before following my mother and little brother.

The long table in the dining room was filled with family cuisines and Filipino cuisines. The children sat beside their parents. I sat in between my mother and father. My mother attended to my little brother while dad talked to my mother.

"Where is that son of yours, Kyle?" Ahma's serious voice chilled my spine. I watched my father's uncomfortable look. His lips thinned out when Ahma mentioned my big brother.

"Mama, he is still in a coma," Dad's voice was curt and short.

I turned to Ahma and saw her scoff.

"I can still remember his stupid actions," Ahma said sourly. "Insolent."

"Mama, please give my son a break. He is just in love," Dad pled.

"But it's an illusion, Kyle! Goodness," she shook her head.

My mouth went agape. Without a sound, I put down my utensils. My appetite vanished the moment Ahma's voice raised. I looked down on my lap.

It's lunch. We're in the middle of eating lunch meal and they are discussing my brother. I bit my lip to butting in and saying stupid things in front of my grandmother. I should get a hold of myself.

Dad is having a hard time because of my brother's condition and I don't want to add more stress and pressure on him.

I just wish Ang kong is here. He is the only one who can pacify my grandmother. He was out of the country at the moment to attend our businesses in Singapore.

"Mama, let's just eat. The food is cold," Dad's voice was low and thick.

Ahma continued murmuring but ate later on. I glanced at my father and saw how torn he was. I noticed how he forced himself to eat. Mom was quiet the whole time but I saw sad and frustrated she was.

My stomach hurt from forcing myself to eat. When Ahma left for her short check-up, my uncles and aunties gathered around mom and dad. I quietly distanced myself and sat on the farthest chair in the living room.

We gathered in the living room after lunch. The kids were playing Legos and video games while the adults talk to each other. I looked around and saw my cousins talking to each other animatedly. They don't care at all.

It seemed like I was the only one who was bothered so much. Well, naturally, yes. It was my brother who suffered a coma because of an accident two months ago. Until now, he hasn't woken up yet.

"Soraia, everything is going to be fine. Please talk to us," Avril, my cousin, sat beside me and rubbed my hand.

I turned to her. Smiling faintly, I shook my head.

"I'm fine," I looked away.

I couldn't make myself talk to them. The pressure they put on my family affected me. Their silent stares and comments affected me.

"I'm always here to talk to," Avril smiled before leaving me alone. I watched her socialized with our other cousins.

I remained immobile on the couch. The kids ran free around the living room, playing with each other. I envy them. They don't know how cruel the world works. My cousins could play when they were little, something I couldn't afford to do when I was young.

As the second-born, I am expected to do things the firstborn would do. We studied the same extra classes after school hours and on weekends. We enrolled in the same sports class. We studied music during our elementary years.

In our family, my brother is the firstborn. Lin is the heir to the majority of the family business. I am expected to follow in my brother's footsteps.

Lin suffered a persistent vegetative state of coma. We don't know when will he wakes up. He was involved in a traffic accident two months ago. His car smashed into a ten-wheeler truck. The truck parked was along the highway. Due to drunkenness, Lin dozed off while driving.

He suffered fractured ribs and hemorrhage. It was a miracle for him to survive that crash. I saw the remains of the car. It was thoroughly smashed. The front seat crumpled to paper. According to the investigation reports, he was going to almost 180 km/h. He couldn't control the speed because of alcohol intoxication.

"Soraia, let's go," Mom called my name. I saw her standing in the doorway with Ken in her hands. I got up from the couch and walked towards them.

"Why are we going now? How about ahma?" I asked curiously.

"She is resting now," Dad answered. "We're going to visit your brother."

I bit my lip and nodded lightly.

We left the ancestral house in Sunset Royal Village. The others remained back in the house. Dad drove us to the hospitals immediately after leaving the village premises. I remained quiet the whole time while they talked to each other.

"Dad, can we go home right after? I'm tired," I whispered shyly.

"Yes, baby. We're just here for a short visit," Dad answered.

I followed them quietly. Lin's room is located in the most private rooms of the hospital. The elevator stopped on the 26th floor. My parents walked side by side while talking animatedly.

The hallway is filled with white doors and spacious rooms. We stopped in Room 285. Dad opened the door revealing a big room with only my brother in it. He was laying on the bed peacefully. The nurse stationed in his room smiled at us.

"How is my son?" Dad asked the nurse to check the machine. The soft voices of my parents looked like they were afraid to wake my brother.

"He is fine, sir. Slowly recovering from the fractures," the nurse smiled gently at us before preparing to leave.

"Did he wake up?" Mom asked next.

The nurse thinned her lips to my mother's question. She gently shook her head.

"Not yet. I'm sorry," she answered. She left after adjusting the IV liquid attached to my brother's arm.

I silently watched them talking to each other. My parents were devastated by the accident. Their eldest child got involved in a car accident that caused him a coma. The first week was crucial. The doctors said Lin was in danger. He could die any moment and was transferred to ICU for observations.

I played with my fingers as I searched for my real feelings. In all honestly, I don't feel anything at all. All of these are natural occurrences in my life. The pressure I have now is always there since the day I was born.

"Let's go, baby," Mom tugged my elbow to catch my attention.

"Yes, mom," I muttered lowly.

We arrived at our house in less than an hour. My parents went straight upstairs to their study while I went inside my room. The warm colors of my room slightly brightened my mood. The grand piano in the middle of my room caught my eyes. The white color of the wood stood out.

Clutching a pillow against my stomach, I sat in front of the piano. My fingers slowly danced on the keys in the familiar tone of classical music.

Abruptly, my fingers stopped their movements when I remembered my brother's condition. I saw his damaged arms and fingers. He has bruises around his arms and hands.

I gritted my teeth knowing how this would affect my brother's career. Those bruises and fractures affected his tendons and muscles. My tears slowly fell on the keys. The pillow on my lap fell on the carpet as I shook in sadness and anger.

My brother cannot play music anymore. His doctors did everything to save his wrists but it was futile. The fractured bone in his forearm made it impossible for him to go back to playing the violin.

I could still remember the moments we had when we were young. We attended the same music school in elementary. During high school, we competed together in national and international classical music competitions.

I felt sad for my brother. That accident led him to hell. He couldn't play anymore. I could still remember the x-ray sheets showed to us when the doctor visited our house. My heart broke when pieces of bones in his arms and palms were put together via surgery.

I hate Patricia. This is all because of her.

I knew why my brother was drunk that night. I was there when Patricia hurt him. I was there when Patricia broke my brother to pieces. I saw how my brother fought for her while she didn't fight for him.

She doesn't deserve Lin at all. My brother is in a coma because of her and she didn't even bother visiting him. For two months, I kept tabs on her but she didn't visit my brother once.

I hate her so much. Because of her, my brother is on his deathbed. Because of her, I am in this situation. The responsibilities of my brother were on me. Everyone's eyes were on me now.

This is all because of her.