Linked By Fate

Chapter 14

I've not beeen sleeping well since that night. Cooper and the babies are doing okay, but her body is under so much stress from due to the sudden rapid growth of the babies. Apparently this is what has caused the bleeding, not the way I handled her out of my fit of jealousy. Things are quiet and shaky between us.

Looking at her rubbing her belly, that seems to have doubled in size over the past two weeks, it still amazes me at how beautiful she is. There's a war going on inside of me. Guilt is eating away at me and I'm not sure how to shake it.

"Babe, you feel up for a stroll? I really need some fresh air." Cooper's hands that were rubbing her stomach moments before, now rub my back as I lean against the back of the couch.

We've not had intercourse since that night. It's me that's having the problem. Fearful that I'll hurt her, I've not so much as kissed her on the lips, chaste kisses. Whenever I do, the pain is evident in her eyes. She feels rejected, hurt, yet hasn't say one thing in regards to her feelings.

Pulling her as close to me as she can get now that her stomach is an interference, I have to reject her request for a walk due to the swelling of her feet, but suggest a drive instead. "You know a stroll is out of the question. I'll do you one better though, a drive. Let's go for a drive. There's a spot that I've always wanted to take you. It's somewhere I'd go at night when I neeeded to get away for a spell."

"Okay, that sounds nice. Do I need to bring anything?" Her voice was rumbled against my chest where she had pressed her face into my shirt, scenting me. This is something she has been doing a lot of as of late, scenting and sniffing me. I've had to fight hard not to ravous her like a starved dog.

"No, I have supplies in the truck, so you only need to bring yourself and our little princes." Staring down at her upturned face I whispered, "You are so beautiful, sweetheart. My heart has always fluttered whenever I look your face. Your bluish purple eyes are mesmerizing. The radiant glow of your skin makes you look even more beautiful every second. There is nothing if you're not with me."

Cooper looks like she is going to say something, but holds bacek. "Thank you," was her reply to my words. A tightness in my chest lets me know that she is hurting, but won't speak of it. Tonight, while out of the apartment, we will hash things out once and for all.

While made her way to the truck, I packed up some fruit cups, cereal bars, and bottles of water in a mini cooler for us. These are her snacks of choice as of late. As long as she's eating healthy, I don't say anything.

Heading out to the truck, I placed the cooler in the set of the extended cab, once I helped her inside and buckled her in. Walking around the front of the truck, I could feel her eyes taking me in with every step. A shiver runs over me as I slid behind the wheel. Closing my eyes, I collect myself as her sweet alluring scent fills the cab, mixing with my own. I grown harder than I've been in a long time, yet do my best to ignore it. "Hm," comes from the passenger's seat right as she turns to gaze out the wind.

Her gaze remained on the outside as it passed by the wind in a flash. The lights of traffic and streetlights whizzed by in a blur as we made our way to our destination. I know that no one is there at this time of night because no one knows about this place other than me. I happend upon it one day while making trails through the woods on the outskirts of town. Having a 4WD, I do a lot of off-roading whenever I can. It's sort of like therapy.

When I dated Julie, I did it quite often due to the unease that always sat in my stomach about being with her. During our relationship, I knew she wasn't who I wanted. Being the i***t that I am, I hid away my feelings for the one I truly wanted. Reading her journal entries that day at the cabin, it was like being hit by a freight train directly in the chest. She had been feeling the same way I had, but longer. She's good at hiding things becasue I never saw a sign of it.

"Do you ever feel like things have been moving at top speed the moment we found out we were fated mates? We went from being best friends, to fated mates, to parents-to-be in less than seven months. Sometimes, I can hardly catch my breath. It feels as if I'm having an out of body experience. Even though we've been mated all this time, I've still not allowed myself to fully let go of what I truly feel for you. Something is still holding me back. It's crazy scary how much I feel for you, Riley. It's really scary." Her voice fades as I turn off the engine.

She unbuckles herself and gets out of the truck as quickly as she can with a baby-bump. Eyes closed, she tilts her head back as she inhaled and exhaled breaths of the crisp night air. The moon and stars in the sky awesome, but they have nothing on my mate. My chest tightens again, this time from my own emotions.

Not wanting her on her feet any longer, I grab the things out of the extended cab which are the mini cooler and blankets that have been there since that impromptu picnic we had one day. The futon mattress is also still in the bed of the truck. Hitting the button on the dash, I retracted the bed cover so we could climb up.

"Come on, sweetheart, let's get you comfortable and off your feet," I say as I lifted her up to sit her on the tailgate of the truck. Hoping up myself, I rose to my feet as to help her stand to her feet. Having worn her slides, she easily slipped her feet from them, leaving her in her socked feet, which she loved to be all the time if possible.

Stepping on the thin mattress, I help her ease down into a sitting postion. I leave enough room for me to sit behind her so she could rest her back to my front. The urge to hold her in my arms is stronger than ever before. As we get settled with snacks and water, I snuggle up behind her, bring her to rest on me. My chin can easily sit upon the top of her head. In the quietness of the night, I addressed her comment earlier.

"What you said earlier, about loving me so much it's scary, I totally get behind that. What you don't know Cooper is that I've always had feelings for you that went beyond friendship. The pull between us, for me, started around the time we turned thirteen. Thinking that you'd see me as nothing more than your best friend, I buried the feelings deep. Even dating Julie was a way for me to run from the fact that I could not have you in the position I wanted you to be, the position of my girlfriend. That morning I found out that the Fates had answered my unspoken prayer, I was over the moon with happiness, which I dailed back not wanting to freak you out. What I'm saying is, I've always been in love with you, whether I understood what I was feeling or not."

"So, you never had real feelings for Julie? How could you spend two years with someone you had no feelings for? I don't understand. From the outside looking in, it seemed that you loved her. Always hugging, touching, kiss, hanging all over each other."

Cooper asked in confusion.

"What you saw was me making her happy in the moment so there would be no arguing. Julie was frigthened of you from day one. She knew deep down that I had feelings for you that would never pass over to her even if I did not confess up to them wheneer she hinted at it. Every night, I would dream of being with you, not her. It was then that I knew that there was no denying my feelings, but that did not mean I was going to act on them. Fate stepped in and handled that for me. That's why what I did that night still eats at me. I love you more than my own life, but can't let go of the guilt."

Cooper turns as best she can to rise up on her knees to stratle my lap. "You listen to me Riley becasue I'm only going to say this once. That night has come and gone, we are on a new day. I've forgive you and myself for what happened that night. My actions played into that incident as well. That guilt you're feeling has been distance between us and I don't like it. I miss you hugs, your kisses, your touch. I miss my Riley. The you that has been walking for the past few weeks, that's not the Riley I know and love. Things happen in life, couples make mistakes, but the move own. We have to move pass this. Our boys will be here in three months and there are still so many things to do. I want the man I love back." Cooper's fat tears roll down her face, breaking my heart. I hate seeing her cry.

"Oh, sweetehart, don't cry. I'm sorry. I'm sorru," I whispered before kissing her, lettting all of my feelings flow through the kiss. It was slow, sensual, and filled with so much need, so much desire.

I don't know how long we kissed but one thing I was sure of was the fire that burned beneath the surface. I want her and I want her now. My hands began to roam over her body, sliding under the dress she was wearing. Not sure when it happend, but before long, we were both naked on the mattress aching with to make love. "Please Riley, I need you. Make me feel like only you can" she begged and it was the hottest thing she could have said to me.

"We'll have to be careful and go slowly so as to not put too much stress on your body." Kissing her again slowly, I stared down into her eyes. "I will give you the moon and the stars if I could. Cooper, you mean everything to me. I love you, sweetheart. I love you." For the rest of the night, I showed her what she meant to me. It was a magical moment in our relationsip. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with her and our boys.

Waking up at the break of dawn the next morning, we get dressed and head home. Holding hands, enjoying the comfortable silence of the drive. Smooth jazz music played in the background. Cooper's phone rings as we pulled into the parking lot of our apartment complex. From her tone, I'm not sure if it's a good conversation or not. "Okay. Give me a until tomorrow and I'll give you a call back," she responds to whomever is on the other end of the line. Curious as to the nature of the call I asked her what was up. I was not prepared for her answer.

With an expression I can't explain on her face, she says, "That was Oliver. Julie's lawyer got in touch with his chief with a request. Julie wants to meet with me."

WTF?