Mated to the Devil

Chapter 5

Bryce was not my mate. The honey coloured eyes flashed behind my eyelids once more as I blinked, leaving me stunned as I stood there on stage.

Bryce squeezed my hand again drawing my attention, I looked over at him, his eyes glistering with tears threatening to fall, his lips pursed before he let out a big sigh.

I quickly let go of his hand, feeling a onslaught of emotions I simply wasn't ready for, sadness, anger, betrayal and longing. I staggered backwards, meeting the gaze of my brother who finally decided to look up at the pitiful scene before him. He took a step forward, attempting to make his way towards the stage, pity clear in his eyes. I shook my head, desperately hoping this was some how a glitch or a sick dream. 

Realising this was now my reality, I turned on my heel and bolted across the stage and down the back stairs towards the woods behind the packhouse, hearing my family and Bryce calling my name.

I refused to look back, ashamed to face everyone after I was so sure Bryce would be my mate. Years of my life spent with someone, all for nothing. How on earth was it not Bryce? Hot tears streamed down my face as I sprinted towards the forest line. I kicked off the high heels and shifted before I ploughed into the forest with a thud, my paws feeling immediately at home at the contact on the moist soil. Aria sprinted through the forest. Darting branches and ditches as we went.

"I'm sorry Arabella", Aria my wolf spoke, sorrow thick in her voice. It had been a while since we had spoken, and I'm starting to piece together why.

"You knew didn't you", I replied, a small voice in my mind.

"Yes, but I only knew for sure a few weeks ago, the mate bond gets stronger in the build up to our birthday. " she responded hesitantly.

"So that's why you have been so quiet." I scowled  anger starting to swirl in my blood." Why didnt' you tell me, I feel like such an i***t".

"It wouldn't have made a difference, you love Bryce and I wanted you to see this for yourself, this was your journey I couldn't interfere with" she consoled, slowing down as we reached a small clearing. A light fog leaving our muzzel in huff's, the product of a cool night against our hot breath as we stood in a small grassy clearing. The cool breeze ruffling our coat.

"I don't know what to do Aria, my heart is breaking", I wept, my voice erupting into sobs. Frustration and sorrow fueling one an other, their only release through my relentless sobs.

"We will get through this Arabella. Remember we still have a mate out there for us." Aria noted.

My mind began racing at that thought, the thought that someone else was out there for me, someone else who I had never met that would undoubtedly become my entire world. The mere thought made my gut wench. I didn't want anyone else but Bryce. I didn't want some stranger I don't know just because of fate. 

My heart hammered in my chest as the realisation dawned on me. Bryce had a mate out there too.

A branch cracked near by, causing my head to snap towards it's direction and my ears perk up before they flattened against my skull and a low growl escaped my lips. I was on edge.

A chocolate brown wolf stepped through into the clearing, his neck bare as a sign of submission and a non threat. I immediately recognised my brothers wolf.

"I'm really sorry Arabella". My brother mindlinked me, his wolf sitting down on the soft grass, a action Aria mimicked.

"I just cant believe I was wrong about this, how do you not sense that the person you have been with for years isnt your soul mate, all the signs were there..." I trailed off looking down, defeated. "All the feelings.."

My brothers wolf stood up and came towards us, his head bowed before he rubbed the top of his head on my neck, a sign of comfort and compassion between wolves.

"It's okay, I didn't tell you this, but there was a time where I thought Ava was my mate." He started, I snapped my eyes to his, surprised and curiosity getting the best of me.

He sat back down a few feet in front of me. His brown eyes glistering in the moonlight as he looked back at me.

"I had always been attracted to her, always thought of her, and she clearly felt the same way," he continued, making me grimace at the memory of finding the two of them making out once when we were teenagers.

"But when my 21st birthday came and revealed she wasn't in fact my mate, I felt defeated, and mad at myself for getting something so important so wrong," he pointed out.

"Looking back, I probably should have realised that my wolf wasn't particularly interested in her, he wasn't opposed, but he didn't howl out for her." He confessed, causing my eyes to grow wide as the same realisation hit me in the face like a ton of bricks. I'd never paid attention to Aria when Bryce was concerned. My senses where so overwhelmed by him, I never though of checking in with her, I just assumed we were on the same page. I silently apologised to Aria for not giving her a chance to speak.

"Its not your fault, we have a human nature as well, and that means we can fall in love outside of our mates, and that's okay, but what we need to realise is that we all DO have mates, and once we find them, there's no going back". He finished, making me suddenly realise how wise my brother really was.

"What if I don't like my mate", the words formed before I had a chance to even process how silly they sounded.

"Your heart will love him even if your mind is still with Bryce, you have to let go Arabella, for you and for our future Alpha." He said the words I had been dreading to hear. My heart skipped a beat and hammered painfully in my chest as I took ragged breaths to try and control my emotions. The light fog in between my brother and I moving a little more rapidly, giving away my emotional state.

"Come on, let's have a run and head back" Izaak ordered, ending the mind link and standing on his four large chocolate brown paws.

The thought of having to go back and face everyone after I had basically already planned my Luna ceremony terrified me. I was so embarrassed, I thought about bolting then and there to escape my certain fate of pitiful stares.

My emotions battered me senseless, I wanted to run, hide, cry and scream, all at the same time. I was angry, beyond pissed off that this was my cruel twist of fate. Why couldn't the moon goddess just pair us together, we were perfect for each other. We were just right. Feeling overwhelmed and desperate for release, I did the only logical thing in that moment, I looked up and howled, a broken, loud, deafening howl that pieced through the quiet night Sky, carrying my heartache and pain with it.  Before I had finished my gut wrenching howl, a familiar howl joined in the distance, mimicking my pain and heart ache. Bryce.

Izaak and I ran for another hour, letting our wolves take over completely. It was a welcomed relief from my misery. I didn't want to make any more decisions, I didn't want to think anymore.

We reached the packhouse during the early hours of the morning, clothes were set for us in the corner of clearing to where the back yard sat. We each took the clothes in our mouths and walked behind prospective bushes opposite each other to shift back and dress in privacy. As much as we were comfortable with nudity as much as every other werewolf. I had absolutely no plans on seeing my brother naked. Yuk.

After we got dressed and walked through the clearing into the backyard where the party was a few hours ago, I noticed my parents cleaning up the tables and decorations. Unable to control myself once my mums eyes met mine, I burst out into sobs again, the overwhelming sadness and anger pulsing forward for release. Tears streaking down my face from my already swollen eyes. My mum ran across the lawn and wrapped me up in her arms. Her familiar scent lulling my senses and comforting my mind.

"Shhh shhh, it's alright honey", she spoke softly while holding me tightly as sobs wracked my body.

We stayed like that for a few moments before I looked around for Bryce.

"He took off shortly after you did as well", responded, "He hasn't come back yet".

It's probably best I don't see Bryce tonight, I needed to work through my feelings and get my head right before we had the dreaded conversation about where to next. I think deep down we both know things needed to end.

My mum convinced me to stay in my old room at the packhouse that night. Insisting that I needed to be close to my family tonight and that I needed a good nights rest to process things. She was right.

Having my family near was definitely my saving grace right now and a source of comfort. But laying in this bedroom where Bryce and I had our first kiss, and where I first fell in love with those grey eyes, made it that much harder. I stared up at the ceiling, wishing for sleep so that this horrible day could finally end. The sun started to peak from behind the mountains that surrounded the packhouse, making my room just a tad but lighter. I sighed rolling over to face the wall away from the window. My single bed creaking as I moved. The pink comforter wrapped tightly around my body, as if shielding me from the pain of my new reality outside this room. I stared at my wall, pink and white floral wallpaper, littered with pictures of my friends and family and painful reminders of Bryce. I closed my eyes, not wanting to see anything that rubbed salt in my raw wounds anymore until sleep finally relieved me.

I woke up sweating, the comforter still tightly wrapped around me while the relentless heat and summer sun filtered through the window. I flung the blanket off, taking a deep breath as the cooler air lapped at my damp skin. I sat up and stretched my back. It must be around lunch time judging by the hight of the sun outside. I stood up and made my way towards the door, still dressed in a pair of grey sweatpants and a white tshirt from last night. My reflection in my old dresser mirror caught my attention just as I was about to reach for the handle. I looked like absolute s**t, that's for sure. My blue eyes were red and swollen, my nose raw and my lips red and swollen too. My golden wavy hair looked tattered and dull. My face pale and worn as if one night had aged me 20 years.

I needed to find Bryce and talk through things, knowing full well nothing will ever be the same again. Why did I feel like I was grieving? Mourning the loss of myself and Bryce, as if we were two separate entities to our current selves. I sniffed and stifled back my tears before I yanked open the door, making a b line for the bathroom across the hall. 

I had a long hot shower, trying to wash away the pain and hurt with a loofah. I stepped out defeated, the pain and hurt still lingering within me, a constant reminder of my failure to recognise my own mate. I hurried back to my room in my towel, and dressed in an old pair of Jean's and a pink Tshirt I still had in my closet in my old room, reminding me that I was way too obsessed with pink as a teen.

I headed downstairs towards the kitchen, my stomach growling, and I said a silent prayer for pancakes. I wanted to shove my face with pancakes and coffee and try to figure out my next move and what on earth I was going to say to everyone and to Bryce.

To my surprise the kitchen was empty with just Maggie clearing away some remnant dishes from lunch. She turned around hearing me enter the room, a warm smile forming on her face. Sympathy clear in her hazel coloured eyes.

"What can I get for you? I haven't seen you here in a while". She winked, lifting my mood instantly. Maggie always had that sort of effect on people. She was likable, charismatic and warm, with a heart of gold and incredible cooking skills, it was hard not to open up to her. I'm sure she was the one person in our pack who knew everyone's secrets.

"Any chance I could get some pancakes out of you," I smiled weakly, taking a seat at the breakfast nook in the stark white kitchen with raw wood trimmings and accents.

"For you?.." she chuckled, "Anything".

Maggie went to work on the pancakes, mixing that bowl of heavenly batter with a whisk while we spoke about my music and plans for after college. Maggie had always been a fan of mine. Often coming to stand by the lounge in the packhouse as I played, dawdled and sang songs I had written throughout the years. She always clapped from behind me and told me one day I would be famous. I knew I had talent, but there was no way I would be famous. Not a small town shewolf in today's modern world of music. I'd always wanted to pack up, join a band and travel, indie, rock and soul being my preferred genre's. I loved expressing myself through song and notes played on my piano, I felt each cord and verse ripple through from my soul, to my body and exiting through my voice and finger tips. It was exhilarating. A powerful feeling I never planned to give up. Maggie didn't push me for information on last night, the sympathy in her eyes told me she definitely knew everything, but she respected me too much to pry, not that it was in her nature anyway.

I guzzled down those heavenly butterscotch pancakes that I have eaten since before I could remember. My stomach finally satisfied. I licked my lips and got up to take my plate to the sink. I tried to always wash my own plate. It just didn't feel right for Maggie to wash it, or anyone else for that matter.

"Hey," a husky voice called from behind me causing me to freeze in my step. My heart painfully responding to the voice that called out. I turned around and looked into the grey eyes I'd grown to love since I was a kid.

"Hey", I replied, my voice sounding as fragile as I felt.

"I'll give you two some time to yourselves," Maggie looked between us before passing by me to exit the room, placing her hand on my shoulder giving it a small reassuring squeeze before she left.

I closed my eyes and inhaled a deep breath before I finally opened my eyes and spoke. Willing myself to be strong.

"I know this is the last thing either one of us expected, but I guess this is just it. We don't get to choose who we end up with." my voice almost cracking, tears starting to form in my eyes as I stared at Bryce.

He looked as bad as I did, his grey eyes red and encircled with dark hues, giving away the fact he that probably had little to no sleep last night, my heart ached seeing him in pain. How could the world be so cruel to us.

"What if we did?" He spoke softly, taking a step towards me, his eyes pleading. "Get to choose that is".

"But we don't Bryce." I replied flatly. I knew there was no getting around this.

"You're and Alpha, you should be with your mate, your true Luna.." I continued, searching his eyes, "for the pack's sake."

"I can't just let go of you Arabella, I can't let go of us, all the years we have had, the love we share, surely it has to mean something", he responded, his voice sounding desperate, something I wasn't used to hearing from Bryce. He was always so proud. Always so strong.

"It does mean something, and it always will," I choked, really trying to restrain the emotion clear in my voice.

"Then why cant we just choose us?" He sniffed, "I want to choose us, I haven't met my mate, and neither have you, we may never actually meet them, so why throw away what we have?"

He moved closer to me, now standing within arms reach. My hand twitched to reach out and wrap myself in his arms and his familiar scent. Maybe we could do this. Maybe we could choose us. Others have done it before.

"No, we have a mate out there, we have seen his eyes, be strong Arabella, he is out there for us" my wolf's voice filtered through my mind.

"But what if we do find our mates, then what?" I pressed. Bryces eyes softening just a fraction.

"If we complete the mating ritual before then, then the bonds would be severed before they even had a chance to fully form" He explained,  as it to himself as well, his eyes searching mine in anticipation.

We could do this, we could actually be together without any hearts being broken. We hadn't met our destined mates yet, I had the smallest tug of a bond since my birthday but it was hardly a pull. It would all be severed if we decided to go through with this. Was this what I wanted? To defy fate and be with the boy I have loved since I was kid.

Bryce reached out, brushing his fingertips against the back of my forearm, waiting for me to respond.

"I choose us", I answered, my voice finally sounding strong again. It has always been Bryce. Why should I let someone else decide who I will love?

Bryce leaned forward slowly, never breaking eye contact before his face was a few inches in front of mine. His minty breath fanning across my face, the scent calming me before he touched his lips to mine.