Unbroken Love

Chapter 11-1

Chapter 11

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

8:09 a.m.

“So, Scott, this is everything?” Ethan leaned back on the chair observing his assistant.

Scott mopped his head. After reviewing the day’s schedule, there was still one touchy issue he had to talk about.

Scott’s conscience had been weighing on him. He had a strong sense of family, religion, and morals and would always be grateful for the help his boss had given his family. Digging deep within himself, Scott brought to the fore all his courage. His thoughts were organized with such clarity that he even stopped sweating. “Yes, sir.”

Ethan had always been impressed by how the shy, nervous Scott could become a confident man under pressure. He knew he was undermining Scott’s abilities when he asked him to deal with his own personal problems, but he needed someone he could count on. “Is there anything wrong?”

Scott consulted his notes, and twirling his Montblanc in his fingers, he told Ethan, word for word, what he had heard Barbara saying on Monday. He was dreading Ethan’s reaction, but when Scott finished, his boss was looking at him, completely dumbfounded.

My life just keeps becoming stranger and stranger and this time it’s my fault. Ethan was quiet for a moment, then, sharply, he said in a strange voice, “Dismiss her.”

“Mr. Ashford?” Scott’s watery-blue eyes were understanding, but he was not so sure Ethan was thinking clearly. “I’m not sure that is the wisest thing to do.”

“No, Scott, maybe it’s not the wisest move, but it’s necessary.” This is my chance to move on and break all the strings. He rose and buttoned his waistcoat and put his suit jacket on. His mind was working over what he could do to minimize the blow to Barbara.

After all, she had fallen in love with a man who didn’t exist. Because, in the end, he didn’t love her or see her as Barbara, and she couldn’t possibly love his feigned personality of pretending to accept her as a substitute for Sophia. That’s all she would be. A mere substitute.

They were living with impostors of themselves, trying to emulate the relationship he’d had with Sophia. And although he had begun to warm and open up to Barbara, he didn’t love her. That she was considering getting pregnant without him knowing, to keep him by her side, was a betrayal Ethan couldn’t possibly abide.

Picking up his overcoat, he ordered with finality, “I’m leaving for the meeting and don’t want to find her here when I return. Dismiss her and pay her a year’s salary. She can take all the clothes and jewelry I gave her. Buy her somewhere to live close to her mother. A two bedroom apartment, or give her the money. I don’t care, but dismiss her. Today.”

Scott knew better than to try to reason with his boss. When Ethan decided something, he was unmovable. But still he had to be certain. “Sir? Are you sure?”

When he opened his mouth to answer, Barbara’s voice invaded the room.

“Ethan?”

Barbara knew something was wrong as soon as she stepped into the home office. A sepulchral silence descended over the room and engulfed her in a tsunami of fear.

A rictus of repulsion twisted Ethan’s lips. She’s your problem, not Scott’s. Face it, Ashford.

With a trembling smile, Barbara said, “Good—”

“You’re dismissed,” he interrupted her, in an even voice, his gaze never moving from her face. “Scott’ll walk you out and within the week all your things will be delivered to you. I know you’ll be grateful for all I have done for you. And I trust that you’ll stay away from me.” Ethan flexed his hand as if to reinforce his words, his hatred for the coward she’d turned into was greater than anything else. She’d stab me in the back at the first opportunity. This is not love.

For Barbara, time stopped as the meaning of his words settled in like a heavy door closing shut. She saw his mouth move as he walked past her, leaving her and Scott alone. Disoriented, Barbara looked at Scott. “Now?”

Scott rose from his chair and confirmed, “Now.”

She blinked, still not believing what had happened. The air left her lungs and there was a void where her heart had been.

Scott tilted his head to the side, studying Barbara. Her gaze was blank and she was as pale as the off-white turtleneck she was wearing.

“Come on, Barbara. I’ll help you.” Scott gently led her out of the office.

No one had taught Barbara that she shouldn’t give her heart so freely to a man that didn’t love her.

The void in her chest filled with hateful acid and it made her blood bubble and sputter in her veins. She gazed unseeingly at Scott and hissed, “I wish I had never known him. I wish he were dead.”

Leibowitz Oil Building

Friday, December 17, 2010

4:25 p.m.

Sophia walked through the Leibowitz Oil building lobby taking in its high ceiling and its marble walls and floor, and the armored glass she had ordered as soon as she moved to London. All of the doors with their special metal detectors, alarms, and locks made her feel safer.

I can control it. I can. She breathed deeply and walked out, flanked by Steven and Zareb. At least, a little bit.

Alistair was leaning on his BMW, looking absolutely gorgeous wearing a perfectly tailored double-breasted navy wool suit with a baby-blue tie and he opened the door for her.

She smiled gently at her bodyguards and dismissed them for the day, entering the car.

There was an undercurrent of nervousness in the BMW. After what seemed like a long time, she asked, turning up the heating without taking off her coat, “Aren’t you cold?”

Alistair held her cold hands in his broad ones and blew his breath on them. His smile was taut. “I’m a Highlander.”

“Mmmm,” she murmured noncommittally.

They were quiet again for a few moments.

Alistair was worried. Sophia was still cold, just as when her blood pressure was low, and her playfulness was extinguished. “Are you feeling well?”

“Yes.” Sophia shifted to take off her coat. “Help me?”

“Are you still afraid?”

There was no smile on her face. “No.” I’m trying not to be.

I bet you are. He entwined his fingers with hers. “Are you sure about this?”

Stop! Stop! “Are you?”

He inhaled, then exhaled forcefully and bit out, “Nae.”

She could not believe what she was hearing. Sophia blinked, astonished, as a wave of paralyzing iciness invaded her.

“Do you want to drive me crazy?”

She had whispered so low that he almost asked her to repeat herself. “Nae, I don’t want to drive you crazy.” He pulled her into his arms. “And that’s why I’m no’ so sure anymore. You’ve been tense; you’ve been nervous. I want you to feel safe and happy. I think when I put my choice—my happiness—in your hands, I gave you a heavier burden to carry. And that was no’ the idea. Never.”

Sophia closed her eyes and leaned on his strong shoulder. His sweet words and his familiar male scent comforted her. Sublime Alistair Connor. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” he asked, his broad hand making circles on her small back. Really, Sophia, stop being sorry.

“For being so snappy these days. It’s just that...it’s such a big responsibility.”

“Aye, it is. One we’re going to share.” Gently gripping her chin, he raised her head. “One we agreed on not deciding right now. Sweetheart, you’re seeing things upside down. Where’s the love, the joy? Can’t you imagine the warmth a new baby will bring to our house? To our families?”

He’s right. Stop being a worry-wart, Sophia. She sighed. “I guess it’s hormones. You know how pregnancy works.”

“Already?” His lips curled up, but the concern didn’t leave his face. His eyes were gentle when he stared at hers. “Sophia, I’m thrilled by your decision, but I want you to feel the same way about it. You don’t need to do anything just because I want it.”

As if I would. “Alistair Connor.” She rolled her eyes at him, with a smile on her lips. “Have you forgotten who you’re talking to? I have strict rules on how much I let you woo me into doing your whims.” Not so easy not to succumb.

That’s my Sophia. “Oh. I didn’t know these rules of yours worked so well,” he joked, as playful as she had been. “I know you can’t resist my charm.”

Her eyes brightened. “So, Lord Irresistible, would you prefer a boy or a girl?”

“Twins,” he answered her with a grin.

Kensington

Dr. John Walter’s Office

5:19 p.m.

“That’s it?” Alistair asked, open-mouthed at the simplicity of the procedure. “Just a cough and it’s out?

“Yep,” John smiled at him. He threw the used IUD in the waste bin, took off his gloves, and washed his hands.

“Yeah, that’s it,” Sophia complained, with a grimace and a hand on her stomach. “Let’s change places, Lord That’s-it.”

Alistair kissed her forehead and followed John out of the examination room, leaving Sophia to put her clothes back on.

John sat at his computer and typed a few notes. Then he turned to Alistair. “She’ll feel pain, since Gabriela was born by caesarian. I want her body to rest, which means no s*x for eight…ten nights starting tonight, please.”

Alistair stared at the doctor, incredulous. “Ten!”

“Let’s make it seven then. However, Alistair, when I say no s*x for seven nights, I really mean no s*x, nothing. Not even oral.” John smiled when Alistair put his hands up. “And then you’re free to go. With your high s*x drive, I’ll probably have you back in here in three or four months, tops.”

“Ah…” Alistair rubbed a hand on his nape, uncomfortable. “I don’t think so.”

John raised his eyebrows surprised. “Why?”

Alistair was saved by Sophia, as she walked back and sat in her armchair.

He grabbed her hand. “The thing is, John, we need to find a sperm donor.”

Sophia and Alistair had discussed it at length. Together, and separate with their therapists. Since they were sure Alistair was sterile and it would take time to work out the length of her cycle and track her ovulation, they had decided Sophia could take out her IUD safely to start with.

“Why?” Despite his many years of experience, the doctor could not help expressing his astonishment.

“I’m sterile.” Alistair closed his fingers so tightly around Sophia’s that she had to stifle a flinch of pain.

“Who told you that?” John couldn’t believe it. Neither as a friend, nor as a doctor. “Only one percent of the general population has complete lack of sperm. You had Nathalie. Most cases of male infertility can be resolved either by treating the problem or using fertility treat—”

“John.” Alistair cut in, because he could not deal with false hopes. “I was diagnosed by Dr. Benjamin Lodes.”

That halted John. Dr. Lodes was one of the best urologists in the UK. He put his glasses on to hide the pity in his blue eyes. “I see.”

“We’ve thought about Mayo,” Sophia told John. “But I’d rather do it with you.”

“I’d be honored. I have here the best donors in the UK, all of them tested and interviewed at length. Their families are taken into consideration. The final decision is yours, of course. However,” he looked very seriously at the couple in front of him, “like all things in life, donated sperm doesn’t come with a guarantee. Sophia, I’ll need some exams.”

As John explained what was going to happen and what they needed to do, the only words that resonated in Alistair’s mind were, ‘donated sperm doesn’t come with a guarantee.’

What the f**k have I asked of Sophia? How can I guarantee everything will be all right?

Atwood House

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

11:03 p.m.

“Two more nights,” he bit out in her hair and tightened his arm around her waist. Stop, Sophia. You’re driving me insane.

Her hand stopped drawing eights around his n****e and she propped on an elbow. “What?”

“Just thinking out loud,” he answered, sighing with relief. I’m dying here, trying to control myself. Alistair loved it when she played with his n*****s. It aroused him so easily. He raised his leg a bit to hide his rising erection. “Sleep. We’re leaving early for Craigdale tomorrow.”

Damn, he is sexy. Sophia put her head back on his chest and her nail began the torture again.

Okay, that’s enough. “Stop.” His fingers curled around her slender wrist securing her arm against his upper abs. He stretched his other arm and turned off his bedside lamp. “Let’s sleep.” This is ridiculous, Alistair Connor, you’re not a teenager anymore.

In the dark, he felt Sophia’s cheek move and realized she knew what was happening. He groaned, “Finding it funny?”

“No.” But then her chest started to tremble and her laughter bubbled out loud.

“Keep laughing,” he growled, wanting to laugh with her, but his unfulfilled arousal was not funny at all. “Keep laughing, my lady. Two more nights and I’ll have you.”

“I can hardly wait.” She shifted and disappeared below the coverlets, murmuring, “Meanwhile, let’s make you more comfortable.”

Scotland, Highlands, Loch Arkedanaskan