Painful Pleasures

Sensations

“God, you feel amazing…” Nate cooed into my ear as he caressed my thighs. He had finally removed his pants and I prepared myself for the worst. I know size isn’t everything, but too many times have I been disappointed by a man not knowing what he was doing or overhyping his size. When Nate pulled himself out, I was lost for words. It wasn’t anything extravagant or abnormally long, kinda average, but alluring nonetheless. It curved upward with a wide smooth head and

a thick shaft. It felt nice in my hand, warm and as stiff as a board. I rubbed the tip as liquid seeped from inside. It was such a beautiful p***s. I wanted to kiss it, swallow it whole until I suffocated. I sounded so c**k thirsty, but I didn’t care. Nate guided my hand to stroke him. My hand felt too small honestly, but he let out the cutest mumble as I played with him. I could feel it jumping and tensing.

“Can I taste it?” He placed a thumb to my lips. I parted them willingly and his thumb slid in to run across my tongue. I stuck out my tongue more and ran it slowly around it, keeping our eyes locked.

“Not yet, luv. Next time.”

“Why not?” I ask.

“Because, I want you to beg for it.” He says as he runs the wet thumb across my n****e. “I want you to feel me first, to long for me so badly you’d get on your hands and knees and beg properly. Until then-“ he thrusted 2 fingers inside me, I let out a squeal from the pressure. “I gotta make sure she remembers who daddy is.” When he takes it out, he licks the sticky fluid from each finger. He then pulled my hips close to him and I fell back on the bed. He reached into his pants to pull out a condom and put it on. He placed both of my arms above my head, holding them there with one hand. “We don't want a noise complaint, so try to stay quiet, okay?” Before I could even say anything, he was sliding into me. I couldn’t even stop myself from letting out a cry as it felt like I was being spread apart. Has it been too long since I’d gotten laid? He didn’t even grant me a rest period as he immediately started thrusting into me. I could feel my sensitive insides spasming as they were violated, forced to withstand and take it all in. I squirmed and tried to free my wrists from his grip so I could ease him to a slower pace, but he wouldn't budge. The more I fought, the tighter his grip got. “Aida…your voice.” He breathed. I couldn’t even talk, just mumble gibberish and shake my head, hoping he caught on that I needed a breather. “I don’t speak gibberish. If you want something, say it where I can understand.” He smirked. “Tell me what you want, luv.” My mind felt fogged, I forgot how to form words. True to his word, he didn’t stop or lighten up. I could only squirm helplessly as he attacked my cervix. Brief moments of pain, the restraint, his low helpless grunts and the pressure I felt as his head continued to curve and press against my g-spot was making me so f*****g excited. I could die by how f*****g good this felt, but it was becoming too much to bear. I must have been squirming too much as he had to use both hands to keep me still. “Stop…moving so much.”

“I c-can’t! N-Nate! Please!”

“Can’t what? Say it…” he demanded as he released me to put my legs over his shoulders, pinning me. I let out a cry as he pushed into me, giving me long deep drives. “You’re close aren’t you?” He let out a laugh. “Don’t run, just let it out. Come on baby, let’s make a mess of these sheets.” I felt like I’d break as I desperately grabbed hold of him. His breath was getting heavier, he was getting close too, just a matter of who could hold out longer. My c**t betrayed me as I could feel myself reaching my limit. There was no stopping it this time and I bit down on Nate’s shoulder, digging my nails into his back as I felt something gush out of me again. “Ah! f**k, that’s a good girl, give me more..” he continued slamming into me, making more gush out uncontrollably. My eyes rolled to the back of my head as I felt I might faint. I couldn’t even recall the noises I was making, but it didn’t matter. If he didn’t stop soon, I might actually break. I didn’t even fight it as I squirted again, it’d be pointless. Nate made a groan as he pulsed violently inside me. His head rested against mine as he slowed to a stop. He let my legs drop as we came down from our high, panting desperately to pull air into our lungs. Before he could get soft, he pulled out and discarded the condom. Neither of us spoke, it wasn’t needed. I was too tired to move, so I simply curled up in the bed. He lay beside me, pulling me into his arms, kissing my head, and gently running his fingers through my hair. I was so exhausted and my body felt sore. I breathed in his scent. Did I mention he smells amazing? My eyes felt heavy and I allowed them to rest, unaware I’d doze off.

I awoke to the sound of my alarm. I groaned sleepily to turn it off. I sat up trying to see outside, but an arm pulled me back down.

“Running off already?” Nate asked sleepily. For a moment I was surprised, I was almost sure last night had been a dream. Now I was feeling uncomfortably shy as I remembered what went down and the horrendous noises I’d made. “Are you alright?” He asked, concerned. “You’re not in any pain are you?”

“No, I just…well, I’m kinda embarrassed.” I admitted. “I don’t normally do this.” He rose and caressed my cheek. It was just as comforting as it had been the night before. Without hesitation, I nuzzled into his palm.

“You have nothing to be embarrassed about, Ms. Kirkwood.” I laughed.

“I think we’re past the formalities. You don’t need to keep calling me that. Aida is fine.” I met his eyes and he leaned in to kiss me. It was far more gentle than last night. I leaned in, my hand caressing his back. He winced. I must have touched the place I’d scratched. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, it was fun. I’ll treasure them.” He kissed my shoulder and my neck. I could feel him gaining another hard on against my leg. “I’d love to make a mess of you once more before you leave.” My body ached, but a part of me began to shiver excitedly as he ran his hands over my breast. I nodded, but stopped when my alarm went off again. Why had I even set an alarm? When I remembered, I cursed and hurried off the bed, wincing as my legs were still quite weak. “Is it work?”

“No, I have a f*****g plane to catch!” I hurried to pull on my pants and locate my shoes. “I still need to go home and get my suitcase!” I ran into the bathroom searching for my purse. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I looked terrible. My hair was frizzy and tangled, my eyes were smeared with mascara and my lips were puffy and swollen. My skin looked dry from sleeping with makeup. I didn’t have time for skin care, everyone knows airports take forever to get you checked in. I use a towel to wash away my makeup. I’ll have to moisturize when I get home. Nate stood at the doorway, wearing only his boxers. I didn’t have the time to admire him now that we were in better lighting.

“What time was your flight?”

“Eight, and it’ll take me thirty minutes just to get home and grab my shit.” After I’d tied my hair into a messy bun, I looked for my phone to call an uber. Nate had already pulled on his pants and was grabbing a shirt.

“No need for that, I’ll take you.” he said.

“Noway, I can’t just-”

“No time for that. Would you rather wait 20 extra minutes just to find a driver when you’re already running late? If only this once, trust that I have your best interest at heart. Now, let’s go.” I couldn’t really protest, I was running on borrowed time as it is. I had mentally prepared myself for the worst, assuming we’d get into major traffic, especially since it was Friday morning, but there wasn’t and Nate was a better driver than I thought. When we arrived at my house, I bolted inside and went up to my room to grab my suitcase. I swore as I noticed I hadn’t fully finished packing. There were a few toiletries I had yet to pack. f**k it, I grabbed whatever would fit in my bag and ran back to the car. I’ll just have to buy whatever I missed. We arrived at the airport earlier than I expected, but I was still running late. Nate helped me carry my bag inside. “Um, I guess I’ll see you when I get back.” I say.

“Sadly, I'll be returning home Sunday morning. I’ve just about finished my work out here.”

“Seriously? That…kinda sucks. One date and you’re gone for good?” he chuckled.

“I thought that wasn’t a date.” he smiled, despite my obvious distress. He pulled me into a hug. It startled me and I didn’t know how to feel. I barely knew him, yet…knowing he'd just disappear made me…scared. He kissed my forehead as if reading my mind. “This isn’t the end, luv. I won’t allow last night to be the last. We’ll see each other again, I promise.” My mind was full of doubt. I didn’t trust promises from others. I wanted to believe it, I really, really did. He then ushered me toward the turnstiles. “Now get going before you miss your flight. Let me know when you get to your destination safely.” God, I felt like I’d cry, what the f**k? I kept my composure and nodded before running through the gates.

Thanks to Nate, I wasn’t that late and managed to board minutes before they took off. I hadn’t even had time for breakfast so I was starving. I ordered a few snacks to hold me over until we arrived. My showing wasn’t until 4, so I would still have enough time to get something to eat. I wished I could write to pass the time, but the plane didn’t have WIFI. Instead I plugged in my pods to take a short nap. That, however, was damn near impossible. All I could think about was Nate and everything that had transpired. I hadn’t even toyed with the possibility of us hooking up, let alone me staying the night. Was I really that drunk? No, I wasn’t, but the wine had done something I may not have had the courage to do sober. I was calm, giddy, and unguarded. I trusted him, not something I do very often. When he whispered into my ear, my body had taken on a life of its own. I wanted so badly for him to touch me, kiss me, to look at me with those beautiful hazel eyes. It made me blush. He was so gentle, yet so rough. I don't think I’d ever gotten so turned on just from kissing. I even…God, I couldn’t bear to think about what he made me do after going down on me. I’d never even made myself do that before. It was strange and left me feeling completely over exerted, but I was satisfied. I wanted to feel it over and over again. I shook the thoughts away, I wasn’t in the right setting to be getting turned on. When I finally arrived in Philly, Jamila was waiting for me with a guy. She still had pink hair, wearing a light blue crop top with a cat on it and white overalls. Sitting on top of her head were white cat ears. She stuck out like a sore thumb, but didn’t seem to mind. She ran over and threw her arms around me, smelling heavily of citrus. Something similar to oranges or tangerines. The guy standing beside her introduced himself as her boyfriend. Compared to Mila’s bright and colorful aesthetic, he was her polar opposite. He wore layers of mainly black and gray clothes. There were dark circles around his eyes, too dark to be normal, likely make-up. He did, however, share the same white cat ears. I guess opposites really do attract. He helped carry my suitcase and we all piled into their car to get breakfast. On the way there, I kept catching him looking at me through the rearview mirror.

“You have no idea how excited I was when you told me you were coming to visit,” Jamila said. “It’s been so long!”

“She wouldn’t stop talking about you.” Ronny (her boyfriend) added. “At first I wasn’t on board with the idea when Milly said you’d be staying with us, but she managed to change my mind. I didn’t expect you to be this cute, happy you’re here.” he smiled, but I replied with a glare. Was that last comment really necessary, especially with your girlfriend sitting right next to you? I eyed her, waiting to see how she’d react, but she didn’t check him. I don’t even think she noticed anything off.

“She really is, isn’t she?” she boasted. “She always does such cute styles with her hair, she even cuts it herself. I’m terrible at doing my own hair. I always mess up and end up looking weird. I’m jealous, I want curtain bangs too. Will you help me Aida? I have a silver wig at home, we can match.” She gave me doe eyes, of course I couldn’t say no. When we were done, Ronny left us with the car so he could go to work. They kissed each other goodbye before we headed to my showing. On the way there, I noticed Mila looking uncomfortable. She was breathing heavily and tugging at her shirt.

“Is your shirt too tight?” I ask.

“No, it’s just…well this bra is a little suffocating.” I’d noticed earlier that for someone with D cups, she looked abnormally flat.

“Did you get the wrong size?”

“Ron picked it out for me. My breasts are a little heavy, so they bounce a lot when I exercise or play. He got me a smaller size because the compression would help them not move around as much. Not to mention, a smaller chest allows me to wear cuter clothes.” That sounded like bullshit, but I couldn’t say that just yet.

“You’re not exercising now, so why are you wearing it?”

“Because Sir says I look cuter this way. All my bras are like this.” Yeah, no, we’re not doing that.

“I love you Mils, but take that s**t off.” I told her. She looked nervous.

“But I’ll get in trouble. Plus I don’t have anything else to wear, my n*****s will poke through.” she whines.

“Well, he’s not here and I won’t tell if you don’t. Besides, it’s hot, they’ve got to be sweating like crazy. I’ll look after you. If a creep starts staring, I’ll bust their kneecaps, promise.” she laughed and pulled the car over to remove the bra. She let out a sigh of relief. “Better?”

“Yes, much better.”

The apartment was better than I expected. Stainless steel counters and updated appliances. It was very clean with lots of natural lighting. There was a balcony, a vanity, and a large master bedroom. I had to raise my budget to find something this good, but it’d definitely be worth every penny. Milla talked excitedly about how we could have sleepovers all the time, considering I wouldn’t be far from her place. She practically begged me to take it. It was nice and affordable, so I agreed to lease. After the lady talked through the process with me, she informed me that her boss would be giving me a call in a few days to sign papers and schedule a move in date. Words can’t explain how happy I was as we got back into the car. I was finally about to move out of my parents' house. I couldn’t wait. To celebrate, we went to the cheesecake factory for dinner. I took a warm bath when we got in, I was still sore all over. It felt nice to relax and clean myself. Lord knows I needed it after last night’s festivities. I thought back to what Nate had said at the airport. I pressed a finger against my c**t. The sensitivity had died down, though my inner region still needed time to recover. Despite how sure he was, I can't help but think realistically. It was disappointing to think that I may never have another night like that again, that I’d never see Nate again, at least not for a long time. Well, it was nice while it lasted. I had bigger things to worry about anyway. A man, no matter how captivating he is, was not my main priority. It’s in fate's hands now. When I was clean and cozy, I joined Mila in the living room. She wore a cute dog onesie as she sat on the couch cuddling a stuffed bunny. She showed me to their guest room. It was bigger than I expected and very clean. On the bed was a present. “Aw, Mils, you didn’t have to.” I say as I unwrapped it. It was a notebook with my name written in gold on the cover. On each page, I noticed little chibi Milas drawn at the bottom saying different phrases and doing different gestures.

“It’s not much, but I thought it’d be nice to have when you don’t have your computer. Like when you’re out and get bored or inspired at random. I drew on each page so you can always see me cheering you on, no matter how far away we are.” I closed the book and hugged her.

“Thank you, I’ll cherish this forever.” If I weren’t so stubborn, I’d probably have cried. Neither my family nor my friends at home ever put this much effort into giving me a gift. After we got all the mushiness out, she showed me the wig she wanted to cut. I showed her how and she looked so happy dancing around in it. I received a text from Nate, checking in. It made me smile.

“Who’s got you smiling like that?” she plopped down beside me, out of breath.

“Just some guy I met earlier this week. I told you a little about him.”

“Oh, the guy from the hotel, Mr. Knight.”

“I guess so, he’s kinda weird.”

“You usually don’t talk about guys, you must like him,” she assumed.

“I wouldn’t go that far…he’s just interesting.” I really hadn’t put too much thought into it. Did I like him? I mean, sure, he was good looking and good in bed, better than good even, but is that really enough to form an accurate opinion of someone? Maybe I’m overthinking it. “Even if I were interested, he lives far away and long distance rarely works out. He’s good looking with a good job, he’d just end up forgetting about me sooner or later. I don’t want to get disappointed again.”

“Yeah, that can be scary. It’s unpredictable and frustrating.” she noted. “Have you ever thought about getting a dom? I can’t say they’re guaranteed to be more reliable, but proper vetting can help you find someone where you won’t have to worry so much about that.”

“Ha! And have some bozo boss me around? What would have been the point of moving out of my parents' then? And it’s me we’re talking about. I’m not cut out for that. I’d be chewing his ass out every time he tries to step to me. I refuse to let a man make me feel weak.” Mila looked offended and I realized I had said something stupid.

“Submitting doesn’t make you weak,” she claimed. “Physical assets have nothing to do with it. You’re strong for choosing to submit and even more so when it’s because you find them worthy of your submission. You don’t submit out of fear or from feeling inferior. You submit because you trust them to lead, to handle you, and take care of you. Even then, you don’t relinquish your power, your submission can be taken away whenever you choose to do so. If they aren't the dom you need, you are not required to continue submitting.”

“Is that how you see Ronny? Do you trust him that much?” for a split second, I saw her smile falter as she zoned out.

“He’s…wonderful.” she started with a dreamy look in her eyes. “He always takes care of me and makes sure I’m taking care of myself as well. He can have strange rules sometimes, but he’s not a bad person. He was there for me when I needed him the most and for that, I’ll always be grateful. I honestly don’t know what I’d do without him.” She sounded sincere, but something was still bothering me. I couldn’t point out what it was yet, but I knew Ron made me anxious. Still, if she trusted him, then that’s all that mattered. It did make me weary to hear that she’d be lost without him. Even if I were interested, the thought of depending on someone so much that your world would shatter without them, frightened me. Speaking of the devil, we heard keys rattling at the door. Ronny walks in and takes off his shoes. “Daddy!” She runs over and hugs him. “I missed you.” Despite her being in front of him, he was looking at me when he spoke.

“I missed you,” he replied. I frowned and looked away. The f**k was that about? Finally, he looks down at Mila and kisses her head. He then frowns. “You’re not wearing a bra?” Seriously? That’s the first thing he notices? Mila shrinks as if she were being scolded.

“It was hurting me, so I took it off for a bit. Are you upset?”

“No, but you know that’s not good for your chest. What if they start to sag? You have to support them properly, you know the rules.” Mila’s face sunk and as much as I didn’t want to meddle in their relationship, I couldn’t just sit quietly.

“I’m the one who told her to take it off,” I admitted. “It probably wasn’t my place but she looked uncomfortable and she was breathing heavily. You may want to consider buying her a bigger size.” He looked offended.

“I understand your concern, but what goes on in our dynamic is our business. I’m her caregiver, so I know what’s best for her. Please don’t tell her what to do without my permission.”

I was so confused I’d forgotten how to speak. First off, who the f**k did he think he was talking to? “Who the fu-”

“Aida…” Jamila stopped me. She still looked sad, but she wore a stern expression. “He’s right. It’s a rule of ours that I agreed to. I knew better but took my bra off anyway. He has every right to scold me for it. I’m fine, so please don’t get involved.”

Stunned, I stood there waiting to see if she was really serious. I glanced at Ronny, who only smiled and stroked her hair. I felt pissed, but I couldn’t really do anything if both of them consented to this. To avoid escalating the situation further, I fell back. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you.” the words tasted like vile in my mouth. But the smile that came to Mila’s lips made it easier to swallow. Ronny, too, relaxed.

“It’s alright.” Ronny said. “I’m aware that all of this is new to you, it’s understandable that you’d be concerned. You wouldn’t be the first to question our dynamic. You’re vanilla afterall.” I held my smile despite my blood boiling. “I assure you, Milly, is well taken care of. I’d never do anything to hurt her.” This guy was lying straight through his teeth. The ordeal must have made Jamila anxious as she started to regress shortly after things cooled down. I gave her space to play with her stuffies and suckle her pacifier. I was getting tired anyway, so I dismissed myself and retreated to the guest room. I don’t know how long I’d slept, but I was awoken by the sound of girlish shrieks and giggles.

“Stop! That tickles.” Jamila squealed.

“Shhh! Not so loud, you’ll wake Aida.” Ronny said. It was too late for that. I’m not really a person who enjoys being woken out of her sleep, so I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little agitated. However, apart from that, I felt a bit awkward. I felt as though I was intruding on them or listening in on something private. Don’t get me wrong, I love Mila, and I’m 100% grateful that she’s letting me stay here for the weekend, but had I known she’d lived with a man, I’d likely have insisted on staying at a hotel. I dug into my bag for my airpods, hoping music would drown out some of the noise. However, just before I could play the song, I heard Mila tell him no. It didn’t sound as playful as before, more defiant.

“You don’t like that?” Ron asked. “You allowed me to last time.”

“Well, we shouldn’t this time,” she said. “I don’t wanna play like that, let’s just keep playing how we were before.”

“Let’s go to bed then. We’ll play more there.” There was silence and I got up to place my ear to the door. “If you’re good, I’ll buy you sweets for breakfast, okay?” There was a shuffle followed by the sound of footsteps. I cracked the door to see Ronny carrying Mila to their room. She looked…sad or nervous. I began to step out but stopped myself. Was I overreacting? Ron was right when he said I knew little about their dynamic. Maybe this was a form of role play. If I intervened, would I upset them again? I didn’t know what was the best choice of action. I decided to wait, and listen closely. If I hear crying or anything suspicious, I’ll go in there. I sat at the cracked door for an hour, but heard nothing concerning. Just brief gasping, small moans, and the sound of Ron grunting. Was this normal?