Painful Pleasures

Girl Talk

I was busy working on a chapter when I received a random email from a Secora Demitre. I often don’t pay too much attention to my emails if I’m being honest. A lot of them are spam and pointless subscription notifications I’m too lazy to unsubscribe to. However, emails starting with names often catch my attention. I opened the email and she introduced herself as an editor from AA Publishings. They wanted to sign a contract with me. As I’m reading it, I’m slightly jumping on my bed. Becoming a professional author was always a dream of mine, but I didn’t expect it to actually happen. Well, I expected it to happen at some point, but not this soon. She wanted to meet me, so we set a time on Saturday when I’d be off from work. I squealed into my pillow. I texted the group chat Mila invited me to with Jamie and Monica. I told them about the email and they congratulated me, saying we should go out to celebrate. I declined, saying I wasn’t really in the mood for a big celebration. Going out too often would kill my bank account. Jamila was disappointed. Ever since that night with Ronny, she’s been a lot more clingy. I understood of course. She was probably feeling really lonely at home all by herself.

Jamila: It’s okay, you probably want to celebrate with Nate, huh?

Me: Why would you think that? I wouldn’t choose to spend time with him over you.

Jamila: I think you should. I feel so bad for disturbing your date. I cockblocked you, didn’t I?

Me: What?!

Jamie: You so did, Mils. It was kinda obvious.

Monica: Yeah, you weren’t even wearing any panties. And it looked like he missed a few buttons on his shirt.

Me: You saw that?!

Monica: I wasn’t trying to peek, really. Just when you were sitting down, I caught a glimpse. Cute design by the way. What did you use to shape the heart?

Jamila: Awww! You cut your pubes into a heart? I wanna see.

Me: NO!

Jamila: Please!

Jamie: Plus you had a scent

Me: :O!! I WILL OFF MYSELF RIGHT NOW! TELL ME YOU’RE LYING!!

Jamie: Relax! I didn’t say it was bad. Just like your pheromones I think. It happens when women get aroused.

Jamila: I thought only men could pick up on it.

Jamie: No, I’m sure anyone who likes p***y can pick up on it. I’m gay, I should know.

Me: …I’m leaving the chat.

Monica: NO!

Jamie: No!

Jamila: No! Please stay! :( Moni, James, stop teasing her.

I threw my phone face down and buried my face in my pillow. Even when he wasn’t trying Nate was an ass. I was so embarrassed I didn’t even want to look at the new messages. When I did I was happy to see they were on an entirely different subject.

Monica: Jamie, how does a strap feel?

Jamie: Depends, why’re you asking?”

Monica: I think Bash wants me to peg him, but I’ve never done that before.

I choked on my own spit.

Jamie: Seriously?! Man he’s come a long way. How many kinks does he have?

Monica: Lots. But he’s mainly exploring. I’ve introduced him to this lifestyle and now he can’t get enough of it. I don’t mind it, it’s cute actually, but sometimes he wants to do things I’m not very experienced in. He wants to explore knife play.

Jamie: HA! He’s insane, I love it! You should throw on a chef's hat and make him your dirty little cutting board.

Monica: That sounds so hot! But I’m so inexperienced. I wouldn’t know where to start. I can’t just go up to him and turn into the hash-slinging-slasher. I might traumatize him. :( or myself.

Jamie: Then just tell him you’re not comfortable.

Monica: But I want to try it for him. I’m not, not okay with it.

Jamie: Then start easy with pegging. Ain't nun to it, but to do it. It’s a hole, you just go in and out. Just make sure he’s prepared real good. He’ll stop you if he doesn’t like it.

Me: WHAT ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT?!

Monica: Butt stuff.

Jamie: *sends eggplant and peach emoji* you wanna try it too?

Me: I think I’m good. It sounds…painful.

Monica: Isn’t that the best part? Plus it’ll only hurt if you’re not comfortable.

Jamila: Guys! Morgan’s throwing a Fetfest party! You guys wanna go?

Jamie: Are you sure you should be attending events like that so soon? It’s only been a week since you and Ron broke up. You shouldn’t overdo it.

Jamila: I’m fine, really. Plus I never got to go to these with Ron. He always forbade it. Now I have the chance.

Me: What’s Fetfest?

Jamie: A holiday for people with fetishes. Kinda like pride but a little more dirty. Sooo, it’s basically a s*x party.

Me: That doesn’t sound very…safe.

Jamie: No, it’s actually pretty awesome. At least all the ones I’ve been to have been pretty chill. They hand out condoms and plan b for the creampie lovers.

Me: What about s**t like STDs?

Jamie: I mean that’s something you have to protect yourself against no matter who you hook up with. Most people bring their own dates, but some people just like the freeness of it. Def wear condoms if you’re unsure and I wouldn’t recommend going around kissing everyone. But hey, I’m not gonna tell anyone how to get down.

Monica: They also have security guards for the creepers. As long as everything’s consensual, you can get into all kinds of nasty s**t. I like going to watch, mainly. Some people really get their rocks off having an audience.

Me: Mmm… I don’t know.

Jamila: Why not bring Nate with you?

Me: He might not be into it.

Jamie: Never know unless you ask.

I stared at my phone, debating on whether or not I actually should. Nate didn’t seem like the type of person who’d go to things like this. He was all professional and cocky. Do rich guys get down like that? Hell, I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to go. I had my doubts, but I trusted Mila and she trusts Jamie and Monica. At least if Nate was there I’d feel a bit more at ease. I texted him. It was late, so I didn’t really expect him to respond. After a few minutes, he called. I picked up the phone way too quickly, but that was because it scared me. “Hello?”

“How’re you doing, kit?”

His voice was groggy. He was definitely asleep. “Fine,” I said, my voice small and nervous. “Did I wake you?”

“Don’t worry about it. What do you need?”

“I…Well I wanted…I-I was talking to my… well we thought..” I couldn’t form a single clear thought. I was afraid asking him would set him off. Would he think it’s weird? Would he call it gross? Would he think I want to go just to fool around with anybody? Ugh! Why am I overthinking so much?! He chuckled.

“Aida..”

“Yes?”

“Take a breath and relax. Just tell me what you need?”

My heart melted. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs that I needed him, but I didn’t. I took a deep breath and started over. “I was talking to my friends and they…they want to go to…this event. It’s like..” I took one more deep breath and said it quickly. “A s*x thing..” he was quiet for a few seconds.

“Fetfest?” he asked.

“You know about it?”

“I partake every now and again.”

I felt a little jealous thinking about all the people he probably hooked up with when he went. Or did he go with someone? Would he be expecting me to be super into it? What if I get freaked out? Would he be okay if I want to leave? No, stop it Aida. “W…would you like to go with me?”

“Are you sure you want to go? Or are you considering it because your friends want to?”

“Can’t it be both? It sounds kind of interesting. If I’m with all of you, I should be fine. Though, I’ll admit. I’m a little nervous.”

“It’s okay to be nervous.” I smiled. “When is it?”

“Does this mean you’ll go?”

“As long as I don’t have work, then yes.” he yawned. “I have to get up early, luv. Text me the details and I’ll let you know in the morning.”

“Okay.” I just sat there smiling like an i***t. My cheeks hurt. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Aida.”

Me: He said Yes!

Jamie: Someone sounds excited.

Me: When is it?

Jamila: I’ll ask Morgan. He said he was making fliers. James, can you come over? I’m feeling kinda lonely and the house keeps making noises.

Me: James?

Jamie: Hold on, Mils, let me ask my girl.

Monica: It’s Jamie’s second name. She got her name legally changed to Jamie-James.

Jamie: She’s alright with it, but I have to be back before she heads off to work. It’s a goodluck thing for her.

Me: So is she…like uni? Have I misgendered her? Er them?

Jamie: Nah, you’re good. That s**t’s confusing even to me. Call me whatever you like.

Me: Then which pronouns do you prefer?

Jamie: Either one, I don’t care. Sometimes I feel like a man, sometimes I feel more womanly. But it doesn’t bother me which one you call me? This way it’s less confusing for everyone. I don’t really care for the ‘they, them’ situation. I’ve always been taught that it means plural and I’m not more than one person, nor am I two different genders in one body. I’m just one person with different moods. At least that’s how I see myself personally. Obviously, I don’t speak for all unisex people.

Monica: I’m going to sleep guys. I gotta early morning and it’s WAYYY past my bedtime.

Jamila: James! How far are you? I think there’s a mouse in here.

Jamie: 10 minutes.

Me: Alright, goodnight then.

Jamie: GN

Jamila: Goodnight! Congrats again! I

I put my phone on the charger and opened my laptop. I searched up Fetfest. Most sites only talked about the festival events where people would dress up and buy s*x toys, s*x equipment, clothes and meet like minded people. It was a smaller event than pride, but they always had a big outcome. I searched up s*x parties. I wanted to know what I was possibly walking into. I ended up on twitter, where people would share their experiences. For the most part, I read good reviews of people who had a blast. I got a little scared when I read about someone who’s friend had to be rushed to the hospital because some guy strangled her because she refused to do anything with him. The music was loud so people didn’t hear the commotion right away. I tried not to let it bother me. I thought back to how Nate handles Ron. He wouldn’t let some creep do anything like that. Hell, I wouldn’t let some creep do that. Sometimes I forget who I am exactly. I layed back on my bed and closed my eyes.

“Why don’t you lie on the table?” Nate asked. I looked at the table he was pointing to. It was a wooden table with two buckles at the top and lower corners.

“That one? Are you going to strap me in?”

He smiled. “For safety reasons of course.” he took my hand and led me over. He tilted my head upward to have a better view of my neck. Gently, he pushed my hair back and kissed my neck. My eyes fluttered and I leaned against the table to give him a better angle. I felt his tongue travel all the way to my chin before going back down. He bit me. I let out a whimper. He pulled the straps of my top down my arms. Goosebumps followed. He massages my breast and pinched my n*****s, hard. I hissed, sucking in air through my teeth. He lifted me and placed me onto the table. He kissed my n*****s which had grown swollen and sensitive from his mistreatment. I sat up and reached for the bottom of his shirt to help him take it off, but he wrapped a hand around my throat and pushed me down. I froze. There he was again, staring at me with such predatory eyes. “No touching.” I nodded in agreement. His grip tightened for a second and I gasped. “If I tell you something, Say yes, sir. Understand?” I gulped.

“Yes…” I looked away, tears in my eyes. “Yes, sir.” he cupped my cheeks.

“Aww, don’t look so sad, luv. It’ll just make me want to torture you more.” he kissed me, forcing his tongue into my mouth. I moaned out. I started to wrap my hands around his neck, but thought twice about it. I didn’t want to anger him. The kiss was so messy, only breaking away to gasp for air. I drank the saliva that pooled into my mouth. “Say thank you.”

“Thank you, sir.” I whispered. He smiled and kissed me more gently. It was sweet. I felt him unbuckle my pants and he pulled back to pull my jeans off. I was surprised when he didn’t take my panties with them.

“Lie on your belly.” he ordered. I obeyed. The wood was a little cold, but that was probably because I was so hot. I watched as Nate pulled off his shirt. His muscles flexed as he pulled it over his head. He pulled his dreads back into a ponytail. He unbuckled his belt and let his pants fall to the floor. He walked over to a table of items and pulled out a bottle, a lighter and a candle. He climbed onto the table, carrying a bottle of body oil. He sat on his knees right below my butt.

“Will you be giving me a massage?” He poured the oil into his palm.

“Yes, so relax and close your eyes.”

I did as I was told, letting my entire body sink against the table. It wasn’t exactly comfortable at first, but I got used to it. He massaged the oil into my back, running his heavy hands up my spine and expanding them over my shoulders. He pressed his thumb under my shoulder blades and massaged until he reached my lower back. I moaned with pleasure. It surely wasn’t the best massage I’d ever had, but it was surely the most pleasurable. I felt his weight shift and he leaned over and kissed my shoulder. A sharp pain shot up my arm as he bit me again. I let out a small “Ow” and he shushed me.

“You look so good, sometimes I can’t help myself.” he kissed the bite mark and the pain subsided. He went back to massaging, running his hands down my back to my butt. He cupped my cheeks, lifting them slightly just to watch them jiggle back into place. I stifled a laugh. He heard it. He smacked my butt. It stung and I let out a cry. He did it again, harder. I didn’t make a sound this time. I knew he'd only do it more. “Good, girl.” he whispered before spreading my cheeks apart and rubbing his thumb over my butthole.

“W-Wait.” I cried. He shushed me and slowly slid his thumb in. I tensed, curling my toes.

“Relax..” he demanded.

“I can’t” I whined. He went in deeper. I was trembling, but I took several deep breaths to calm myself. Slowly, I began to relax. He moved his thumb slowly, stopping every time I tensed up. It was painful, but bearable. I felt his other hand spread my lips and I quickly reached back to stop him. He smiled a crooked grin.

“Oh, you dirty girl..” he quickly took both of my hands and buckled them to the table. He leaned back and did the same to my legs. He lit the candle. “So you like pain, huh?” I didn’t say anything. Even if I say no, he’ll do what he wants anyway. “Try not to move, okay?” Before I could even answer, I felt the hot wax drip onto my skin. I gritted my teeth. “Are you alright?” I nodded. I moaned out as more wax singed my skin. I whined and cried out. My back was probably my most ticklish area. This made the pain worse. His fingers parted my lips again. He slipped them in with ease. The burning pain on my back and the pressure between my thighs jumbled my senses. I felt so confused, so overwhelmed. He tugged at my panties, making them rub and pinch my skin. “You’re too loud.”

“I’m…sorry.” I breathed. More wax. I cried out again and he pulled my panties tighter. I could hear the fabric ripping apart. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” I chanted. He released them and the fabric snapped against my skin. I sighed with relief as he placed the candle down. He touched the spots the wax had hit and I jumped.

“Aww, poor baby.” he pulled my panties to the side and shoved his d**k inside of me. I was forced to grip the edge of the table, trying to contain myself. He was often a slow driver, but today it was like he was running a race. My eyes rolled to the back of my head like I was going to pass out. He stopped and pushed the tip against my cervix. I cried and whimpered, trembling. “Stay awake. Don’t tap out on me. You’re doing so well already.” I gasped and moaned as he prone-boned me. My p***y was pulsing like crazy. My mind was going blank. Tears fell from my eyes and he turned my head to get a better look at me. “You look so pretty like that. So f*****g pretty.” I smiled.

“Thank you, sir.”

“Should I let you c*m?”

I nodded. “Please..”

He leaned up and put pressure on my back to keep me from moving. “As you wish.” He put his thumb back in my butt. I cried out, not prepared for it. He gave me deep, long strokes. I fought against my restraints with no luck. Within minutes, my eyes fluttered as a mind breaking orgasm erupted through me.

I moaned out louder than I intended and gripped the head of my mattress to pull myself up. But there was no running away. My eyes fluttered and I pressed my hand against my vulva to ease the sensation of needing to pee. This was a new mattress, I couldn’t afford to ruin it. I sat there for a moment, catching my breath. Slowly, I pulled my hand from the inside of my pants. There was a thick slimy fluid sticking between my fingers. Curious, I rubbed it together to watch it stretch apart. In the heep of the moment, I brought it to my lips and licked. I blushed and ran to the bathroom to wash my hands. I smacked my cheeks as I tried to push away the shame overwhelming me. I sat on the floor and rubbed my hands through my hair. Then I laughed. “What’s wrong with me?”