In Love With My Boss

Fourteen

I close the laptop, as my eyes are stinging and I couldn't find anything else about him. It is now about midnight. Only two or three hours until I'll head back home and get some sleep.

Without having anything to do, my mind keeps on bringing back the words Tasha threw at me earlier. Am I looking that bad? I know I shouldn't let her get to me, but I can't help it. When someone keeps on saying something to you, you might get to start believing it.

I go to the bathroom and take a look in the mirror. I am not the most spectacular being; that I know. I don't try to be some kind of model or anything else. I know I can look better when I want to, but on most days I know I am somewhere at the border between pretty and hot, no matter how much s**t she eats about my appearance, and I like it this way. With some aid, I sometimes get to the very hot border, but I never bother. Why would I? I prefer to spend my time sleeping in the mornings.

I get back to my office and grab the little purse where I keep my makeup for special cases and open it. I take out a mirror and put on some eye shadow and mascara, just to boost up my confidence. Lastly, I put on some dark red lipstick. Yeah, I look so f*****g good. So, to hell with whatever Tasha thinks. She is just jealous. I bet she wishes she would look like me.

I plan to go and make myself another cup of coffee, but as I get up from my chair, the elevator doors suddenly open. I turn my head in that direction, and getting out of the elevator is Dimitri, leaning over one of the walls with his hand for some support. And he doesn't look like the usual.

'Um, Mister Belikov, are you alright?' I ask as I head his way.

He looks at me, kind of surprised to see me. Well, I am too. What is he doing here? Shouldn't he be at a badass party right now, celebrating his 30 years along with his beloved Tasha? Or did they decide to ditch the party and she is just behind him and they are going to have some birthday s*x in here, on my desk? It seems that I keep on stumbling over them lately, spoiling their fun. I am just that lucky.

'Dimitri. Call me Dimitri. And yeah. I am feeling just perfect.' he says, his accent being very strong as he speaks. And you can feel the smell of vodka from a distance. Maybe because he is carrying an almost full bottle with him too.

He passes me and heads wiggling towards his office. What is happening right now? I take a look into the elevator but there is no one in it and it doesn't descend either. So this means he came here all by himself. But why? I follow him inside the office to make sure he doesn't break his neck. Not that he would really be on the verge of falling. He is keeping himself quite well on his feet, but I just want him to be safe.

He gets to his bureau and with some effort he plops himself on the floor, facing the giant window. I go in front of him.

'Mister Belikov, can I do something for you? Should I make you a coffee? Do you need a pill? Should I call a cab?'

'Dimitri.' he reminds me again, and instead of answering me, he opens a drawer next to him and gets out two whiskey glasses, places them on the floor, fills them up with the spirituous liquid and then hands me one of the glasses.

Patting the floor beside him he tells me: 'Sit with me, Rose. Let's have a drink.'

'Um, I don't think we shoul-'

'Please?' gosh, he sounds so what? Sad? Shouldn't he be happy right now? Fine, I'll have a drink with him and deal with the rest later. I am in no condition to refuse this man.

I sit next to him and prop my back on the desk too. He raises his glass and says ''Cheers''. I do the same and after we clink our glasses, I pour the beverage down my throat. All of it, just like him. All of a sudden, my whole being is burning and I get shivers down my spine. I have drunk vodka before, but this one is so strong. Maybe it is the Russian type.

He pours another glass. To hell with it. I take it. I kind of feel bad now, even though I wouldn't admit it out loud. And reasons I think I have plenty. So, some alcohol might make me feel better. As I drink some more, he finally speaks.

'I really love this view.'

'Yeah, it's beautiful.'

He extends his hand and points to something out the window. 'Do you see that bright point there?'

I chuckle. 'You need to be more specific with that. There are a lot of shiny spots out there right now.'

'Yeah, of course. Do you see those three green spots in the distance? Past the town line.'

'Those three that form a line?' I ask as I lift my hand up to get a better track of them.

'Yes, those. Now go up.'

'Which way?'

He gently places his hand on top of mine and guides it a little to the left and up. 'About that way. You should see a yellowish light that keeps on appearing.'

I squint my eyes and I actually see it. 'Oh! I got it!' I get really excited about a little pulsing light. 'What is that?'

'That's the Little Red Lighthouse. Have you ever been there?'

'No. I didn't get the chance.'

'You should go there. It's really nice. That part of the town is really nice, especially at night. It's right next to the beachside.'

I haven't realized it, but our hands have ended up on the floor, between us, and we haven't let go of each other's hand and it feels so right to hold his hand in this very moment.

'I guess that that is my favorite spot from this entire damn town.' He continues to speak about the lighthouse and I begin to feel like I am part of some movie scene that will end up with a kiss and I don't think I want to go that way. So I slip my hand out of his and I change the subject.

'Hey, um, shouldn't you be celebrating with your friends or something, instead of admiring the view here?'

He laughs bitterly. 'What friends? Those fake kiss-asses? They are not even my acquaintances. They just know Tasha. I'm good here with you, thanks.' He says patting my knee. 'But the question is what you are doing here.' he says as he tries to point in my direction. Man, he is really wasted.

I haven't eaten in hours and the booze kicked in too fast so my mouth speaks without restriction.

'My best friend is with her fiancé at our place and I didn't want to disturb them. You know, they haven't seen each other for some time and they need to...do things.'

He chuckles. 'Things?'

'Yeah, you know.'

I give him my glass, indicating that I want some more booze, and he fills it once more.

'I know. But why are you so reticent about saying it?' because it's like the only thing I can think of when I am around you comrade, that's why. Instead of saying it, I play the fool, trying to get away.

'Say what?'

'Sex.' he says still amused, accent fully on and I can feel myself beginning to heat up. I don't want to get into that conversation.

'Is it hot in here?' I ask as I rise and make my way to the window, getting away from him for his own good, and I lean over the cold glass. Yeah, it feels better this way. I sit there, facing him. He still looks amused by my weirdness but then he squints his eyes in my direction, his attention being caught by something else. Thank God that he is not going to push that subject forward.

'What is that on your face?'

I take a hand up, touching my face, and then I look at it. Oh, I forgot about the makeup I put on earlier. I hope I didn't ruin it.

'I put on some makeup.'

'Why?'

'What do you mean why? Does it look bad?' I ask, suddenly very concerned by his opinion.

'You don't need it. You are beautiful without any aid, Roza.'

Wait, he called me what? Roza? It sounded so nice how he said my name.

'What does that mean?'

'What?'

'Roza. You called me like that.' and beautiful. He just called me beautiful. 'Does it mean something?'

'Not really. It's just Russian for rose blossom.' Well, it sounds amazing anyway.

He pours another glass. Is this like our second one, right?

'Why are you so hard on people? You seem a nice guy sometimes.' the words simply escape my mouth, but my question doesn't seem to bother him.

'I wouldn't be here if I wouldn't ask for the best from people around. And if I would be the nice guy all the time, people will think that I am a fool, and they would try to trick me. I have been there before. It's not that I want to be like this.'

'Yeah, I get it somehow, but can't you, you know...' and the thought simply disappears from my head. 'What was I saying? Ah, nevermind.'

He changes the subject. 'You never let your hair down. Why?' is he going to inspect me for long? I begin to feel shy already.

'I usually can't tame it. So it's easier to keep it up.'

'Take your hair tie off. I want to see it.'

Without much fuss, I comply, and my dark waves fall on my shoulders.

He looks at me and blinks twice.

'Well? The verdict is...'

'You are so beautiful right now that it hurts me.' he says dreamily.

I puff. 'Cut the crap.' Even though I liked it, this right here is a perfect textbook pick up line. If he wants to take me to his bed he can at least be original. Who knows, maybe it will finally work on me now that my head is clouded with alcohol.

'You don't believe me, huh?'

'Nope, comrade.'

He looks at me weirdly. 'Stereotype much?'

'Yeah, kind of. I am full of it.' And this is just the beginning. I have a whole stash of stereotypes and clichés I carry around with me.

We sit in silence for some minutes, then, something passes through my brain.

'Hey, can I ask you something?'

'Mhm.' He responds lightly.

And as I look at some lights walking on the ceiling, mindlessly trying to avoid eye contact, my mouth just lets these words out:

'Do you love Tasha?'

Where did that come from? Why would I even want to know that? Do I want to know that? Yes, I kind of do. To be completely honest, I want to know that for a while now because sometimes he is giving me the impression that he might want something more from me than just s*x. But I guess that I am just misinterpreting his picking up techniques and this whole ''he might really like me'' is only happening in my head in reality.

But there is no one to answer because he fell asleep. I watch him for a second. He is gently breathing, his chest rising and sinking slowly. His mouth is slightly open and his face looks so peaceful. His hair is disheveled, barely keeping itself into the clasp of his hair tie. His shirt has two unbuttoned buttons separated by a buttoned one, his tie is still standing somehow, and the shirt is half in and half out of his pants. He looks just like a little kid that has tried dressing up on his own for the first time and he's so damn adorable right now.

But wait, I can't let him sleep here like some homeless person. Being the less wasted one, I have the duty to take him home. That's what the rules of drinking buddies say, no?

I get on my fours and crawl my way to him. But before I wake him up, I do something I often dreamt of and I was so close to doing this very morning. I place my hand oh his cheek and move my fingers slowly upward, getting to his hair, putting some rebellious strands behind his ear. Yeah, it's as silky as I thought.

Then, I shake him gently. 'Comrade, wake up. Hey! Wake up.'

He opens his eyes and looks at me, then smiles.

'Come on, let's get you home.' I say as I put one hand on the desk and pull myself up. I steady myself and grab his keys from the table. 'Come on; get on your feet now. I am taking you home.'

But instead of raising himself, he grabs my hand and pulls me back down.

'What the-' but I am already on top of him, our faces millimeters apart and I look straight into the deep chocolate pool of his eyes. Would it be bad if I kiss him right now? Yes, Rose, it would be wrong. Very wrong. But I want it so bad.

It seems that he got over the voice of reason, or he just doesn't have one screaming in his head like I do, because he takes his hand and places it at the back of my head, drags me closer and kisses me lightly. Mmmm, God. It feels so good. His lips are so soft. Wait! What? No! This can't happen. I pull myself back.

'What are you doing? I don't want to-' but he repeats the move, this time his lips pressing harder on mine, crushing them together.

Now I am really pissed. I break contact and plant a slap on his cheek.

'What the f**k, Dimitri? I said no! I don't want to!'

He looks at me confused. 'Why? Everyone wants to.'

'Wow, you are so full of yourself Belikov, you know that? You just think that everybody wants to have s*x with you, don't you? Well, I don't.' I hope that my nose didn't just grow Pinocchio style.

Instead of saying anything, he starts to laugh.

'Oh, so now I am funny, right?'

'You are the first person ever to say no to me Rose. And the only one who annoyed the s**t out of me for so long. But you have something, you know? You are not afraid of me like everybody else around here is. You keep your ground and don't accept other people's crap.' yeah, except your girlfriend's crap. 'I like that about you. You are so feisty. And you are really smart. You know what you are talking about. That's why I like having you around. And it amuses me to see those little pranks that you are pulling. You have such a great imagination.'

'Well, you know, maybe it was time for someone to tell you no. Don't just walk around pretending that everything belongs to you. Not everybody is here to kiss your ass.'

He laughs again. 'I really like you, Roza. You are a fine woman.'

'Fine, comrade. Whatever you say. I'll pretend that this thing didn't happen and I will excuse you this time only because you are drunk. But I won't allow it to happen again, understood?' he nods lightly. 'Now let's get you home for good, no more confessions. That's just the booze in you speaking.'

I get up again and struggle to keep myself on a vertical position on high heels. He rises as well, with some difficulty. Before we head to the elevator, I take the bottle of vodka from him, inspecting it. It still has some liquid in it. I drink the rest of it because I feel that I am going to need it later. Taking him home in these conditions might be a pain in the ass and I might need the courage to keep on saying no to him.

We get to the elevator and I support myself on the wall, just to be sure I don't end up twisting my ankle. At some point Dimitri says something I never thought I would hear from him:

'I'm sorry for kissing you without permission Rose. It was wrong for me to do so.' he passes his hand through his hair and his hair tie falls on the floor, setting free his sable strands. 'I'm sorry, but I couldn't help it. I really wanted to know how that feels.'

'Yeah, there would be two of us.' I mumble.

'What?' oh, so even in this condition he has superhuman hearing?

'Nothing. I was just saying that it's okay.' And he lets it go, thank God.

We get to the first floor and the building is completely deserted. We head outside.

'Let's take my car.' he says getting his car keys out of his pocket and dangling them around.

'What? No!'

'I can drive.'

'The hell you are!' I respond and take the keys away from him. I am so not going to let him get in that car. 'Wait. Did you come here with your car, drunk?'

'Mhm.' and he takes some steps towards the car.

Oh God, he could have crashed into something. What if he died on his way here?

I pull him back and he stops in front of me. 'What the f**k were you thinking?'

He squints his eyes at me. 'Language.' He says bothered. Wow, even when he's drunk he can't let go of that.

'Leave that. Tell me what were you thinking! You can barely stand!'

He shakes his shoulders in response. Does he have a death wish or is he just completely stupid?

I manage to find a taxi and get ourselves on the back seats.

'Where are we going Miss?'

'Um, Dimitri, tell me where you live.'

He murmurs something and the driver drives in that direction.