In Love With My Boss

Sixteen

I wake up without any alarm. The room is still pretty dark, and it seems that the sun just began to rise as there is some faint light piercing through my eyelids. It seems that I forgot to pull the drapes last night. I am laying on my stomach and I try to change my position, wanting to get rid of that light disturbing my sleep, but there is something over me that is preventing me from moving. A someone, in fact, because I can feel their warm breath on my right bare shoulder.

Wait a second. First, how did I end up naked in bed? And second, why is Lissa sleeping in my bed and when did she get this heavy? But most of all, why is she naked too? There is too much skin around and it's not comfortable to think of how we ended up in this situation. Did we take some drugs last night and I don't remember about it? Highly improbable. We would never do some s**t like this.

I try to turn again, and I succeed to move a little, because she finally changes her position, freeing me. But I stop shocked as I hear a sleepy growl. In a man's voice.

I snap my head up and finally open my eyes. I turn my gaze to the left side to see who the person next to me is. Dimitri. The person laying next to me is Dimitri. Dimitri, my boss. Good God, what have I done? I'll tell you. You just f****d up big time Rose, that's what you did. No, no, no. This cannot happen.

Flashes from what happened last night come back to my mind in an instant. Everything is covered into a thin blur, but I remember every second of it. It's all ingrained in my brain. And now it's all like one of those dreams you have in which everything is perfect and you get all those good fuzzy emotions and then you wake up, get back to the cruel reality and find out that it wasn't true and you get sad about it. But in my case, it was no dream. It all happened for real and there is nowhere to go after you wake up.

And do you remember when I said that I didn't care what happens today? Well, I do care in fact. The alcohol in me was the one who didn't care and made me act on my deepest desires. What was I thinking? In fact, why wasn't I thinking?

God, the only thing I can think of is that I have slept with another woman's man. What is wrong with me? I have just kind of ruined a relationship, even though Tasha is used to things like this. And I am not that kind of person. I can't be. It's not fair towards her, no matter how bad she is with me. I can't do this thing to her. What was I thinking? I am so mad with myself right now. I did really want him, but I promised myself that I wouldn't fall into his trap, but here I am, waking up in his bed. Way to go, Rose. It was stupid for me to give in to him and I know that it shouldn't have happened, even though I won't lie, I loved every second of it. But I swear to God that I won't let it happen again. I just hope that he would understand this when I explain it to him later. He must be reasonable. We were both drunk and one thing led to another and well, yeah, we had mind-blowing s*x.

I take a look at the clock on his nightstand. 4:52. He usually arrives at six. So, assuming he wakes up at five, by doing the math, this means that I have exactly eight minutes to get the hell out of here. Under no circumstance I am going to wake up next to him. Or him next to me. f**k it. Whatever. I'm out of here.

He has turned around, and now I am completely free to move without having to worry about waking him up. I get out of the bed slowly, without making any noise. I search for my clothes but it is hard for me to concentrate because of the dull pain in my head that is getting worse and worse from the movement. Damn you Russian vodka. Why did I have to drink that much anyway?

First I find my skirt and I put it on. And my bra is easy to find too as it is hanged on the corner of one of the nightstands. Then, I find my shirt. My buttonless shirt. Well, f**k. I'll throw it into the first garbage I find. I didn't like it anyway. It was itching me. I take his shirt instead. He will not miss it for sure. As I put it on, his smell invades my senses once more and I stop for a second to take the collar of the shirt to my nose. You don't have the time to get drunk on his smell, remember? Yeah, right. But where are my panties? I look around the bed and find them, almost wholly under him. Nice. I try to pull them and he growls again, adjusting his position and almost touches me with his hand, but I take a step back just in time. You know what? He can have them. Keep them as a f*****g souvenir; put them in a frame, I don't care, as long as he won't see me here. I'll survive today without my underpants.

Well, I am dressed now and I should go. But just let me look at him one more time. I might never get the occasion to see him like this. He looks so peaceful, sleeping on his belly, covered from the waist down with the black cover, with one hand hanging above the floor, his hair scattered on the white pillow, mouth partially open. I can't help myself and I get closer to him. I clasp my hair with one hand so that it won't tickle him and I bend over to place a kiss on his cheek, the last kiss I ever give to him, my lips brushing over the tiny hairs that appeared on his skin. To my luck, he doesn't react.

Well, then I guess I'll see you later. I just hope that we would be able to get over this thing fast. I don't want things to degenerate.

Before I get out of his bedroom, I stop into the door frame and look at him once more, remembering the nice things that happened a couple of hours between us in that bed. But what are these red things on his ba-Oh, my bad. I'll apologize later. Now I really have to get out of here before things get the chance to get even weirder than they will get later.

But as I still think about last night, what is constantly buzzing me is if he really meant those words he said to me yesterday. He seemed so nice to me and I don't know, from the way he was acting with me, he seemed to want me in some other way, not only for s*x, you know? He seemed really honest. Or were they some things said and done just to get me into his bed and he's a good actor, despite all the alcohol in his system at that moment? I shake all of my thoughts out of my head. It won't matter later. If I am lucky enough, I'll be fired till the end of the week, if not today. He doesn't need me around anymore, this is sure. Or even better: now I gave Tasha a reason to kick my ass out of that office, so her wish of getting rid of me would become true. I just can't wait to see her face as she says goodbye to me.

I grab my purse and my shoes from the living room and get out the door. Thank God he hasn't woken up yet. But I still have to move fast because I don't have much time left. As I cross the hallway on my way down, I see my reflection into one mirror. Wow. I look like someone doing the walk of shame. Which is kind of true, right?

My appearance is completely disheveled. I stop to fix my makeup a little, what is left of it anyway, and to put my clothes in place. As I do so, a woman exits her apartment, the one just in front of Dimitri's and her eyes land on me. I smile weakly in her direction, trying not to seem like a potential burglar to her, but she pulls a face on me and shakes her head, mumbling something about ''the loud one'' and goes on her way out. Well, maybe my screaming bothered her last night. I haven't thought about this at that moment, but the damage is already done so there is nothing I can do about it now.

And I am so going to get many glares like that on my way to the office because I have to get there now. The thing is that I have no time to get home first. We may have just had s*x, but I don't think he will let me get away with being late.

I find a cab and after a period of enduring horny glares into the central mirror from the pig that is driving the car, I finally arrive at Belikov Enterprises, around 5:20. The building is empty at this hour, thank God. The only person present here to silently judge me is the night warder, but I try not to make eye contact as I pass him. I get upstairs, grab my spare change of clothes (see? it was a good idea to bring some clothes in here) and head to the bathroom. He can't see me looking like this. It will only make him prouder of himself.

I change into a pair of jeans and a light blue shirt. Then, as I look in the mirror to see if everything is in the right place, I see it. All over my breasts and my collarbones are reddish spots, easy to hide, but most of all, I have a hickie on my neck that turned purple and it is visible from outer space. Oh, you motherfucker! You just had to mark me, right? The purple spot on my skin is not enormous, but it is still visible. I fully button my shirt and let my hair down to cover it better. Then, I take care of my face, getting rid of the makeup. Well, now I look normal again. Except for one thing. I smell like s*x. It's a faint smell of salty sweat, not like that one you get after you run for ten miles; it's kind of an interesting combination, along with my perfume and the earthy scent of him, but still. And I have no perfume to cover it. Well, it seems that you can't have them all. I have to resume to the smell of my fabric softener to do the trick.

I finish at 5:45. Should I bother to make that coffee? Well, I surely need one. And a pill for my atrocious headache. Maybe two. I make it fast and leave his on the kitchen counter until he arrives. Then, I sit on my chair, drinking my coffee and waiting for everything that is going to come next. So help me God.

I kind of feel bad now for leaving, maybe I shouldn't have done it, but the damage is already done. I can't just go back in there, can't I? And I don't think that the things are going to work differently if I would have stayed. They would only have gotten weirder that way. Maybe he even is used for the women to leave and I have only done the right thing. Well, f**k it. I have bigger things to worry about right now.

It is 6:15 when he finally exits the elevator. Long night, comrade? I almost point out to him the fact that he is late, but I think better of my situation and decide it's better to shut up. But if the situation would have been different, he would have gotten a sarcastic comment from me.

He walks towards me. Here we go. I take a deep breath in and prepare myself for the long speech I have made in my head while waiting for him to come. Oh, and the things I have to say to him. When he gets close enough, he says: 'Good morning, Miss Hathaway!' with a big smile. Well, isn't he a happy camper? Of course he is; he just f****d his secretary's brains out. Unlike me, all he has to do is to be proud of himself.

But how should I act now? I don't think I can be as cheerful as him. I resume to responding with a simple ''Good morning''. I'll deliver my speech any second now.

'Come to my office in five minutes, please.' oh, so now we are polite too? 'And can you bring me some pain killer? I have a monstrous headache.' of course you do; from how wasted you were, I guess you drank like two bottles of vodka yourself, so there is no surprise for me.

Five minutes later I enter and approach him with my head down. I can't do this. We are going to have an embarrassing talk soon. And gosh, things are going to be so weird.

He is holding in his hand one of the glasses we drank from last night and studies it, turning it around. The glass is mine because it has dark red lipstick marks on it. Well, if Tasha comes around here, that is proof number one that he slept with me. And from what I heard, nothing like this gets past her. She turns into Sherlock all of a sudden when it comes to Dimitri's mistresses.

'I am sorry you had to come here today. I am going to take today off, and you bothered to come. I didn't have the time to announce you.' so, are we now going to pretend that nothing happened? Not that I would mind. It kind of is easier this way.

'Um, it's okay.'

'Rose,' oh, wow! Now we are theeing and thouing too? 'did you change something at yourself?' he comes closer to me and tries to touch my shoulder or something, maybe even my hair, I don't know, but I don't let him. Nope. No more touching Mister. That was it. Last night is all you'll ever get. I shift my weight and pretend to look at my shoes just in time and get myself out of his way. He seems surprised by my gesture but doesn't say a thing about it. 'You look different.'

'Um, not really. I didn't do anything.' I am just glowing after some great s*x, no biggie.

'I know; it is your hair, isn't it? You let it down. You never wear it like that.' damn, isn't he chatty this morning? And so jolly. And he is talking crap too. He saw me with my hair down yesterday. I just want to punch him somewhere it will hurt him bad. All I want to ask him now is what the f**k Belikov? Weren't we pretending it didn't happen? Why is he giving me all these stupid hints?

'Yes, I did.' and I absentmindedly put my hair behind my ear.

The next thing I know is that he is staring at the half-visible part of my purple spot. I rapidly cover it back with my hair. Evidence number two. God, if I were a criminal into a TV show I would have already been cuffed.

'Is that a spider bite?' he asks concerned. Is this guy seriously just f*****g with me right now? Okay, I am going to play his game. Let's see how far things are going to get.

'Yeah, it bit me last night.'

'Oh, you should take care of it. It could get infected.' I just blink in response. For once in a long time, I am at a loss of words. Where is he trying to get with this?

'Well, I'll let you go. Please cancel everything for today and you can go home. Have a good day, Miss Hathaway. I'll see you tomorrow.'

I just turn and head for the door. Unbelievable! Can I snap his neck now?

'Miss Hathaway?'

'Yes?' I turn again. Does he have some other hints to drop?

'Is this the necklace you bought for Tasha some time ago?' he asks as he is holding in his hand my necklace. Yes, it resembles the one I bought her, that is what caught my attention in the first place when I bought it. But mine is way shorter and it has no pendant.

I have that necklace from my grandmother, and I would wear it from time to time because it had its lock f****d. And the first time I decide to wear it at the office, I manage to lose it in his bed. Goddamnit! I should have repaired its lock a long time ago! How am I going to take it back from him now that we are pretending that nothing really happened?

Aaaand, that's proof number three. I take my hand instinctively to my neck, to be sure that it is really my necklace. But he sees that, so I take my hand even further, getting it to my chin and scratching it, pretending to think about it. I hope he doesn't suspect a thing. But why is he even asking me this? He already knows that the necklace is mine, I guess I was still wearing it while we…yeah. For God's sake, isn't he a player? Where does he want to get with this? Why is he teasing me this much? Is he trying to make me feel embarrassed? Because I tell you, it is working!

Hey, but what if he has amnesia? I heard that sometimes it can occur if you have a strong enough o****m, mind-blowing s*x or something like that, I didn't pay attention to the facts. Hell, I am amazed that I don't have temporary amnesia too.

But to please him, I tell him that the necklace is not the one I bought for Tasha. It has to be someone else's, because I never saw her wearing it. Plus, I omit to say that it belongs to me.

Then, he says: 'One last thing. Did I, by chance, come back here last night? Have you seen me around?'

Something is totally wrong. He is surely just playing with me. And I so don't like playing this game of his. But if he really wants it, so be it. Anything to please my boss, right? I will take this f*****g charade as far as it gets until he decides he had enough of it. I won't twitch to lie to him. Let's see if he reacts to this. I am not going to admit anything unless he says it first.

'I don't know, Sir. I have left shortly after you did. And I spent my whole night with my friend. At home.'

He just accepts my answer and thanks me.

I get out. Okay, what the f**k is happening? What is he trying to get out of all this s**t? And for how long are we going to play like this? Because I don't like this thing at all.