Ugh, Highschool

Difference

We arrived at the park peacefully, the ride on the way here was actually quiet. It was like no one even dared to spark a conversation because of whatever reason, but for me, I thought it would be awkward to say something during the ride and I don't even know what to say to him and here I am again mumbling words in my head because of this guy beside me.

"So, what made you bring me here?" I asked, but also wanting a certain answer at the back of my head, which is bad.

"Nothing, just… it’s a boring Sunday, come on. Wouldn't you want to go outside and just chill?” He pleads.

"Inside the dorm is chill too," I said and looked at him and he looks disappointed but it doesn't show, "okay, okay, just saying, but I kind of want some fresh air. Even though we could get from the university." I said, looking at his facial expressions go from bright to dark again.

"What are you saying, just tell me if you don't like it here, I have other places?" He said, obviously wanting to please me.

"You know, Sean, why?" I asked.

"Why what?" He replied, putting on a straight face.

"Why here, why me? This, what is this?" I asked, begging for the answers that I'm going through at the back of my head.

"Is there something you want to hear, Gab?" He asked, putting on a more serious face, its scaring me because it’s the first time I saw him with a serious straight face like this.

"It’s just, confusing." I said, making it more complicated.

"Don't beat around the bush, Gabriel. I hate that." He said, an angry tone and an expression came out from him which made me serious and curious even more.

"Do you li—"

"Gab! Sean!" A shout from afar was heard by both my ears, cutting out my sentence, I was half panting and my face looks nervous, I bet.

"A-Andre, hi, yeah, what's up?" I called, but also stuttered.

"You're one to talk, I should be the one asking what's up. You both look, hmm what should I say," I looked at Sean's expression he is trying to collect his composure because of the drastic change in the atmosphere, "both of you look, disoriented. What happened?" Andre asked innocently.

"So why don't we all go to a nearby café?" Sean butted in, totally ignoring the question. Andre right now looks out of place, poor him, picking a not-so-good timing.

"Do you have a ride with you, Andre?" I asked him, making the two of them look at me.

"Uh, yeah, why?" Andre answered, looking at Sean.

"Can I ride your car." I said, not saying it in an asking tone, and continued to walk off and dragging Andre, I heard the two of them mumbling, maybe they talked about what café we would hang out in but, I dragged Andre because I want to go faster.

"Why are you hurrying, kitten? Both of you fought?" He asked, still half running because I'm dragging him away from the park, without even knowing what his car looks like.

"You know kitten, I get it, but please at least explain it to me, you can't leave me both hanging. And besides, you don't even know where my car is." He explained.

"It isn't even a big deal, at least to us. But where is your car." I said stopping for a while.

"There." He pointed at the opposite side from where are walking towards right now. I sighed in disappointment, and looked at him. He unlocked his wrist from my hand and jogged towards the car. It’s kind of far, but not much.

I see Sean's car approaching the side from where I am standing, but then, Andre's car arrived in front of me too. With no hesitation, I walked towards Andre's car and because of the sunlight I could see his smile flashing as bright as the setting sun.

I walked towards the opposite side and the door automatically opened and I just walked inside the car, as I walked inside the car, he immediately handled my seatbelt that made me gulp in surprise. His eyes were obviously curious for my reactions.

"Uhm, let’s go. What are you doing, Andre?" I asked him.

"Call me Trevis, kitten." He softly said.

"No one, calls you tha—"

"I said, call me Trevor." He said, confirming, not leaving any room for an argument. Looking at my eyes, pleading for an answer. His eyes asking for it.

"Trevor." I said, immediately planting a smile on his face, kind of relieved with the way he smiled. But the embarrassment came upon me and I blushed so hard. So hard with those eyes, that face and that smile.

"Good. Kitten." He patted me, and immediately putting his hands on the steering wheel.

Along the ride, he didn't even bother looking at me, it was just the sound of the road, the faint sound of the engine when boosting up, the sound of the blinkers, being thankful when it breaks the quietness. But the quietness this time, isn't the quietness that my ears hate, it’s the sound that soothes the heart. The sound that was like the morning pancakes your mom used to make. I was thankful, and shy, these emotions, why?

"We're here, kitten." He said, slowing down the car and parking it beside Sean's car.

He clicked the lock of my seatbelt even before I could, making my heart skip a beat, but I looked at him. He doesn't still spare a look at me, frustrating the s**t out of me. He even got out of the car before I did.

As I got out of the car, I was feeling a lot of frustration, maybe it was Sean, maybe it was Andre. Maybe the both of them. We entered the café, and thankfully I was wearing a sweater, not too thick but is enough to protect me from the sweet air coming from the aircon. As soon as the smell of caffeine entered my nose, it was glorious.

I saw Sean pointing at a table, it was a 4-seater table, Sean and Andre was seating facing each other. Why do I have to be I this kind of situation?

"Trevor, why don't you sit beside Sean?" I asked, and almost jumped out because of my dumbness. No one ever called Andre, Trevis. It was his second name.

"Trevis?" Sean asked and got a glare from Andre, or Trevis, while he's changing seats.

"Got so close after a short ride, I know." Trevis said looking at me, smiling. For the first time, he spared me a look, taking off this frustrating feel off of my chest.

"What should we order, guys?" I asked, preparing to settle on my seat which is in front of Sean.

"I'm going to have a hot cappuccino and a donut." Trevis ordered, looking at me.

I pointed at myself and he nodded at me.

"What's yours, Gab?" Sean asked immediately.

"An iced americano, and a donut too." I said looking at the menu, not at Sean.

He stood up and once again, Trevis and I were left in this table.

"Kitten." He called.

"What, Trevis?" I replied, he suddenly scratched the back of his neck, actually smiling while looking at me.

After a few seconds, he didn't bother to answer me, but is intently looking at my eyes, staring like an eagle. Then comes another few seconds, comes back Sean with our orders, fast as I could imagine. What kind of café is this?

The three of us ate, and I went home with Sean and everything was quiet 'til we got home. And I heard him and Caryl talking over the phone while I'm at my bed.

Making me think, what would he say if I asked him the question earlier? What is the deal with the two of them? One calling me kitten, one letting me hug him, in the night. Questions, questions, just when will you be answered?

Why does Sean make me feel safe but anxious at the same time, what are those hugs, that making me feel invited when obviously, I am such a nobody at first? It was kind of suspicious at first but I guess, it’s just the way he really is. But some part of me doesn't actually want to believe that, but I trust that person so much already that it’s scaring me.

Andre, or Trevis makes me nervous, but he makes it easier for me to say things. It’s just, easier with him. The feeling is very casual but I hate the way he does things, he is very fixed in his own ways that it’s kind of annoying me in a very confusing way too, just like how the both of them make me feel.

I thought of the two of them as the same people at first, but what they make me feel is different and it made me doubt myself and the way I should treat them. I'm really groggy right now but what are these thoughts, really?

Laying at night wondering, does these boys or guys, or men, really took an interest at me, or am I just assuming things?