Seeking Relief

Visit to Radiology

Jade woke up to a pair of nurses coming into her room.

“Hey sweetie, we’re going to take you downstairs for some xrays and some CT scans that Dr. Kincaid ordered. He ordered MRI’s also, but they’ll decide which ones to do after looking at xrays and your ct scans.”

“Okay,“ she said quietly.

With their help, they helped her out of the bed and into a wheel chair. Once they got a blanket nestled around Jade’s lap they took off out of the room and down the hall to an elevator.

The nurses chit chatted amongst themselves while Jade sat in silence. She felt better after her crying session and even though she didn’t want to admit it, she felt immensely better after having been held through that breakdown.

It was a completely different experience than when it was with Lance.

Whenever she started crying, usually because of fear of him or what he was going to do, he’d stand back with a smirk on his face. Then when he’d command her to stop and reward her with “affection” when she did. Being comforted WHILE she was crying was not what she was used to.

It was different.

It was nice.

Just as she had that realization, the elevator stopped and the doors opened. The nurses wheeled her out, they badged into a set of double doors and got her set up with an xray tech. They stood to the side and gossiped and giggled with the radiology nurses and techs while a tech with blonde hair in a ponytail directed Jade through different positions for xray imaging.

As the woman constantly ran back and forth to Jade and to stand behind the protective wall, she thought that that woman must go through shoes three times as fast as the others.

Jade wasn’t sure how long she was in the radiology department.

Time was spent situating her hand this way, then that way. Now the other hand. This way and that way. Now the foot. Use this strap to pull the foot like this. Now turn it this way. Okay sweetie, please hop on the table and lay this way. Now that way, now turn like this.

Then the nurses took Jade to a different room for a CT Scan. Then it was directions on how to lay on the bed and where to hold a body part for specific imaging.

First she laid down like on her back to scan her head, then the bed was adjusted so her abdomen was scanned, then they moved her to her stomach with her hands outstretched in front of her, last she rotated position to have her feet outstretched in front of her.

Each position and scanning interval went in a pattern.

“Okay sweetie, lay like this, hold it right there, perfect!” Then the nurse runs into a back room and the bed starts to lift and move her into the machine.

The nurse would speak to her through an intercom, “Now get ready, we’re starting it up.”

“Now here’s where you need to hold really still.”

“One more time sweetie.”

“Perfect now you can move”

Then the nurse would come out and have her adjust.

A mantra started to form in Jade’s head.

Vrring and whirring sounds.

“Hold like this, sweetie.”

“Perfect, looks great, sweetie.”

“Hold really still, please.”

“Perfect, you did great, sweetie.”

Vrrring and whirring sounds.

“Hold like this, sweetie.”

Vrrrring and whirring.

Somewhere along the way the mechanical sound of the machine mixed with another sound.

Vrrrrrr

***

veeeRRRRRRRRRRR

“f**k! Please I’m sorry! Let me out!” Jade screams over the sound of the hand held drill Lance is using. He pauses what he’s doing and looks up at Jade through a makeshift window in the door.

“You haven’t learned your lesson. You’ve continued to misbehave and then you’ve tried to leave me. How could you be so selfish?” He looks down at his task, “I’m only doing this for your own good.”

Jade pounds on the door.

“Please, I’m sorry! Just don’t leave me down here!”

VEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR….rrrr rrrr rrr

Lance tightens the last of the bracket down with the drill. He looks back up through the window.

“I’ll let you out of the Pit when you’ve learned your lesson.” He then shuts the window with a hard snap as he finishes his sentence.

Jade slides down the door sobbing.

Being left alone in a dark windowless room in the basement was the worst punishment for her.

No light.

No sound.

No stimulation.

Just her imagination fueled by her terror.

***

“Alright, that’s it, sweetie. We’re all done!”

Jade is jerked out of her trance at the voice of the nurse. The nurse comes into the room and helps her off the bed. Jade eases herself into the wheelchair, once again draping the blanket across her lap.

The nurses from her unit take her back upstairs.

Once Jade is settled in her bed, the nurses make sure she doesn’t need anything, as they turn to leave.

Jade lifts her hand, “Uh. Wait.” They turn back around waiting for her question.

Jade quietly asks, “Uhm. Do you know when I’m going to be discharged?”

“Oh. The doctors haven’t discussed that far yet. They want to check over your imaging to make sure you don’t have anything that needs emergency surgery before they ready papers for your discharge.”

“Oh. Okay,” Jade says. As the nurses leave she says at their backs, “Thank you.”

They turn and smile at her as they pass through her doorway.

Jade grabs the phone to order some food from the hospital cafeteria. When that’s done, she turns on the tv to try and occupy her mind so that she stops thinking about her past. She needs to eat so she doesn’t trigger another migraine, but every time she relives a “Lance memory” as she calls them, she loses her appetite.

So she finds something else to think about so that she still has the appetite to eat by the time her food comes.

A young teenager with acne scarring and frizzy brown hair brings in her tray. She smiles at him and thanks him. The teenager gives her a smile full of braces as he leaves the room.

Jade only hate half of what was on her plate. She should’ve been starving since it’s been over 18 hours since anything was in her stomach. But it was struggle to choke down what she did.

Pain and anxiety can do that to a person.

When the nurse came in to check her vitals, remove the catheter and refill her water, she looked at Jade’s tray with a raised eyebrow.

“Not very hungry?” she asked knowingly.

Jade just shook her head. The nurse ‘hmmmm-ed’ and Jade knew that the doctors were going to hear about it.

Again Jade was left alone.

She settled against her pillows and looked out the window. Whatever was playing on TV on any station was dull and listless. Try as she might, she couldn’t keep her mind occupied.

And again Jade’s thoughts wandered.

Five floors below, a radiologist sat in his office at his computer and pulled up a large file of imaging that was stamped priority.

With a few clicks in, he muttered, “Jesus Christ.”

Few more clicks, “Christ.”

Few more clicks, he sighed hard and put his chin in his hand, but his eyes blazed. He quickly looked through all of the imaging, but it still took awhile for a precursory look since there were so many. He made notes and saved images that he knew he was going to go back and look at more thoroughly later.

Once he got through everything, he pulled up a few images he wanted to look at before he made his phone call.

With a hard sigh, he brought his hand over his mouth and sat back in his chair.

Then he dug out his cell phone and dialed a number.

“Hey Adam, it’s me. I looked at her imaging like you asked.” He paused as he listened to the reply.

“Yea…uhm. Yea.” He sighed, “Can you come in an hour or so before your shift starts? I’ll stay late if you can. I want to show you and talk to you in person.” Pause. “Okay, thanks. See you then.”

The radiologist ends the call but immediately makes another call.

“Hey honey,” Pause. He smiles. “Yea. I am. Thank you so much for understanding.” Pause. “Yea, everything’s fine. There’s just a patient of Adam’s that’s in a rough state I need to talk to him about. He’s coming in a little earlier tonight so I can, then I’ll head home.” Pause. “That’d be perfect, thank you. Love you.” Then he ends the call and puts the phone back in his pocket.

He sat forward in his chair reaching for his mouse. Now he was going to thoroughly look and list all the injuries.

This is going to be a b***h, he thought.