Seeking Relief

You're Safe Here

Adam slumped at the counter at the nurse’s station, resting his elbows on the surface he put his head in his hands. One of the nurses plopped a coffee and a bottle of water in front of him. God bless these souls he works with. He opens an eye and looks at one of the nurses sitting in front of him. She’s staring at him expectantly, he knows she’s waiting for him to talk.

“Melissa…Do you remember? She was in here before. I’ve seen her before.”

“I know. Ellen was her nurse that night. Don’t know if you recall, but I put a formal complaint on Ellen because she was asking the routine abuse questions while the boyfriend was still in there.” Melissa knows it’s not the time to say it, but she is proud of that moment with the complaint because it kick started a code of conduct investigation on Ellen. The team was getting increasingly frustrated with Ellen not following policy and doing things “because that’s how they’ve always been done in her day.” Melissa suspects that there’s been a handful of patients that slipped by without help that have been abused by their significant other, because Ellen hasn’t followed protocol.

Adam sipped his coffee while he thought on Melissa’s comment.

“He was, wasn’t he. But he’s not here now, is he?” Adam stands up and whips around, looking down the hall on each side.

“Nope. She was brought in and still is, by her lonesome.” Before Adam could think more of it, he heard a hoarse “Hello?” from the bay behind him.

He whipped around.

She’s regained consciousness already?

Surely not.

But really?

He strode forward and pulled the curtain back. And he stood there and smiled.

“Ah, Jade honey, you’re back with us.” Jade honey?

She didn’t answer him, but just continued to look at him with big eyes. Green and Brown eyes that seemed to let you glimpse at the torment that was haunting her.

“I’m Dr. Kincaid. How are you feeling now, Jade?” With 2 strides of his long legs he reached her bedside. He pulled out his penlight and checked her pupil reaction. A little slow, but otherwise fine.

“I still hurt.” Adam paused what he was doing for a split second. What? What does she mean by ‘still’?

“You had CPR administered to you. It is quite normal for your chest and ribs to hurt after having CPR done. Are you talking about your chest?”

She shook her head.

“Then what do you mean then, honey?” honey?! God he can’t stop!

“I was finally mostly pain free. But now it all hurts again. Even more.”

“Is that why you took so much medicine and drank so much?”

“I couldn’t take it anymore. I just wanted a night of relief.” She whispered. Adam almost didn’t hear her answer, but he caught it. Her response ticked up his inquisitiveness, this was not a suicide attempt response, there’s more to this.

Then silent tears slip out of her eyes and down her cheeks. She pulls in a quick shuddering breath to try to get her control back. She wipes her tears off her face with the heel of her hand. Not her fingers. The heels.

“Jade, what hurts?”

Silence. She just stares at her lap.

“Jade. What hurts? We can’t help you if you won’t tell us.”

“EVERYTHING!” She cries out loudly, then gasps out two as equally loud sobs, before she does that sucking in a breath thing again and pulling control over her tears. Adam grabs the small stool on wheels and sits down next to her bedside.

“Why don’t you go ahead and point or tell me each and every place that hurts. Then describe the pain of that location.” She looks at him like he grew a third eye.

“Uhm. How did I get here?”

“You were brought in an ambulance. Your neighbors saw you through your windows and called 911.”

“ ‘kay.” Her eyes flit to the curtain opening and in an even quieter voice, she asked hesitantly, “Am I…Am I here alone?” Warning bells went off in Adam’s head. He saw her fear of who may be on the other side of the curtain. He f*****g knew exactly who and he was f*****g pissed. Careful to not let his anger show on his face so she wouldn’t misinterpret, he braced himself for the uphill climb to persuade her to let them help. Those who had been abused are mistrustful, conditioned that they are wrong to seek help, and what happens to them is their fault. He f*****g hated the prick that did this to her.

“You are alone, Jade. The only people in the ambulance with you were the paramedics that brought you here. Here in the hospital with you, it’s just the nurses and me.”

He caught that sigh of relief she thought she was hiding.

He continued, “Jade. You’ve had a rough night. You took so much medicine your body produced a toxic reaction. Pair that with alcohol, and it was a recipe for disaster. Now, am I right to assume you weren’t attempting suicide?”

Her eyes grew a little wide with surprise, “No.” She said quietly.

“Okay. So, you ingested all of that to find temporary relief?”

“Yes.” She whispered.

“Jade. What kind of pain are you having to drive you to do that to yourself?”

She just stared at him. Damn. Need to try another approach.

“We believe that something is very wrong with you. You just need to point out where it hurts. Jade, you can talk to us. We will help you.” A silent moment ticks by before she tentatively answers.

“Really?” She pauses, looks away to her feet, then back to him, “You aren’t going to tell me it’s in my head?”

“No. I won’t. Who says that to you?” Adam was finding himself strangely protective of her.

What she says next is in a whisper so quiet, he knows he wouldn’t have heard it if it wasn’t silent in the department at the moment.

“My doctor.”

Fuck.

Goddammit!

He f*****g hates quacks like that. They get their MD. Open a practice. But it still doesn’t change they’re self centered f***s who even barely graduated.

“Well. I’m not like that. You can trust me to help you.” He says soothingly. “Go ahead and tell me specifics.”