GHOST LOVER

The Sound of Solitude

When morning came, Selin was still awake. The darkness of night had given way to pale daylight, thinning the shadows in the room, but Murat hadn’t left. Selin knew this. Sometimes his presence felt heavier than his absence. She sat up in bed, trying to suppress that familiar pressure knotting in her throat. Murat wasn’t speaking. This was more frightening than his shouting.

“You can’t punish me like this,” Selin said, breaking the silence. Her voice didn’t come out resolute, but it was sincere. “By staying silent.”

Murat appeared by the window. Sunlight passed through him, turning him into a half-silhouette. “I’m not punishing,” he said. “I’m listening to you.”

Selin stood with a bitter smile. “Listening?” she said. “You’re watching my life, Murat. That’s not listening.”

Murat didn’t answer. Selin went into the bathroom, stood before the mirror. Her face was pale. There were traces of sleeplessness under her eyes. For a moment, she thought she saw Murat behind her reflection. She closed her eyes and opened them again. He wasn’t there. But the feeling remained.

Her phone vibrated. Another message from Kerem:

“Are you okay? I couldn’t stop thinking about you last night.”

Selin stared at the screen for a long time. She felt Murat’s eyes on her. “Don’t answer,” Murat finally said. “Don’t give him hope.”

Selin took a deep breath and typed:

“I’m going out today. I want to walk a bit.”

The moment she sent the message, the air in the house changed. Murat’s anger didn’t rise like a storm this time. It transformed into something more dangerous: cold calculation.

“I’m coming with you,” he said.

Selin looked up. “No,” she said clearly. “This time you’re not coming.”

Murat took a step forward. The keys on the side table fell to the floor with a metallic sound. Selin flinched but didn’t step back. “Look,” she said. “This is exactly why I’m exhausted. You’re in every move I make.”

“Because you are me,” Murat said. “When will you understand that?”

Selin put on her coat, grabbed her bag. She paused as she headed for the door. She turned to Murat. “No,” she said. “You’re not a part of me. You’ve… become a burden.”

This sentence hit Murat hard. For the first time, Selin’s words truly threatened his existence. When the door closed, Murat was left alone in the house. But this loneliness wasn’t like Selin’s. It was the panic of a being approaching extinction.

When Selin stepped outside, the air was cool. The street was noisy but real. There were people. Sounds, laughter, cars… Everything was alive. She entered a café. Kerem was waiting for her there. When he smiled, Selin’s insides warmed for a moment.

“You look a bit tired,” Kerem said.

Selin shrugged. “It was a long night.”

When the coffees arrived, Selin wrapped her hands around the cup. The warmth spread to her palms. This small detail was something she could never experience with Murat. As Kerem talked, Selin realized she was truly listening to him. Murat’s voice was absent. For the first time.

But this silence didn’t last long.

“You can’t forget me,” Murat’s voice said in Selin’s ear. “His laughter is temporary.”

Selin closed her eyes, shook her head slightly. Kerem noticed. “You okay?” he asked.

Selin opened her eyes. “Sometimes,” she said slowly, “you realize you need to be alone.”

Kerem nodded. “Whenever you want.”

This sentence was a breaking point for Murat. When Selin returned home, Murat was waiting for her. But this time his face didn’t show anger, but determination.

“You pushed me,” Murat said. “Now I’m going to push you too.”

Selin felt her heart race. “What do you mean?”

Murat smiled. “You’ll understand soon.”