Fever Dream

Chapter 5

Two weeks had passed since he had last seen Karen. She hadn't contacted him or told him she was coming to visit. And although he had tried to stay positive and look forward to his reunion with her, he couldn't shake off the feeling of unease that settled deep within him. He hoped that everything would turn out alright, but he wasn't at all sure. Still, he pushed those thoughts aside and tried to concentrate on his studies.

It was Monday evening; he'd already completed his first term's workload. He sighed and stretched as he made his way to his parents' house. After spending some time at home, he had decided that now would be a good time to go see Karen. Although he wasn't really looking forward to it, he knew that he had to do it. He wasn't going to let himself wait until the day of her arrival.

His phone started ringing in his pocket, and he picked it up as soon as he saw that it was Karen.

"Hi." He greeted happily.

"Hi." She returned softly. There was a pause. "Is everything alright?"

"Everything's fine."

"Are you sure?" She hesitated for a moment. "You don't sound so certain about that. What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong." He assured her quickly. "There's nothing wrong. Everything's fine."

Another pause.

"Kya?"

"Yes?"

"Listen, I-" She paused. "I should hang up. I'm sorry. Maybe later I can come and see you."

"Wait-"

The line disconnected before he could say another word.

"Son of a b***h! That little-"

***

"Dad!"

"Yes?"

"Do you happen to know where the nearest train station is?"

"Huh... Why would I know that?"

"Because I need to catch one."

"What?"

"I need to catch one to reach school."

"Why?"

"I have a test."

"A test? Do you have the results from yesterday already?"

"Err..."

"What was that, Kya?"

"Nope. Sorry."

"Stop playing coy. Is it because of the date?"

"...Maybe."

"Kya, stop messing around. Stop wasting time. You' re eighteen years old, it's time you start thinking about yourself, starting with getting married."

"Dad, come on. Can't we talk about this another time?"

"We will talk about this another time. But you must realise that this is important to me. This is a matter of the utmost importance. I' ve talked to some of our neighbors here and they said that a marriage proposal isn't easy to make. They've heard of people who didn't even try before, and sometimes, their marriages didn't work out."

"Please, Dad..."

"It's time for you to find yourself and settle down."

"No, please. Don't. Please, Dad. Please."

***

"Kya?"

"Yes?"

"Have you met Karen today?"

"No."

"You haven't?"

"No."

"But you're going to see her on Friday, aren't you?"

"No."

"Well then?"

"Can I please speak to my father?"

"Kya, please. Let me speak to him."

"Dad, please." He repeated.

"Fine, Kya. Whatever. Just don't take too long."

"Thanks."

"I don't understand why you always have to act like this. Even when you're home alone, it seems like you still won't give up. You never change. If it weren't for Mother, you would have already left by now."

"And yet, you still keep calling me. I'm not sure if that's a good sign or not."

"I'm just worried about you, Kya. I want you to be happy. I want you to be able to live your life the way you want to. I want you to be able to enjoy yourself. I want you to be able to love whoever you want to love. I don't want you to become bitter and resentful and angry over whatever happens to you. You have every right to be upset with me, but that doesn't mean that you should ignore me. That isn't healthy."

"It's not your fault that you have no idea about what I want to do. You don' t understand. I can't control what happens to me. But I can control what happens to others. And I can' t just sit around doing nothing."

"If you want to go see her, then go ahead. I won' t stop you."

"Thank you, dad. Thank you for understanding." He hung up and put his phone away.

Now, he didn't quite know what he felt. He was excited, but he also felt nervous. It was clear to him that Karen loved his father more than anything else in the world. It wasn't exactly a surprise, considering how much time they spent together. But knowing that they were in such close terms made him realize that something was different between them. Was there something more? Or was it simply her wanting more time to spend with her father?

He wasn't sure.

He didn't really want to know either way though. It was just the same as everything else in his life. Nothing changes. All the progress he had made was just meaningless now.

Sighing defeatedly, he made his way upstairs and headed to his room. He changed into his uniform and went out of his room. As he walked towards the exit, his father called out to him.

"Kya?"

"Yeah?"

"Would you mind helping me cook dinner tonight?"

"Of course."

"Great. I'll call you to help us later."

"Alright. Bye, Dad."

When he reached the living room, his mother smiled kindly at him.

"Are you going somewhere?"

"Yeah."

"Where are you going?"

"Just out."

"Well, don't get lost."

"I won't."

As he walked through the door, he stopped suddenly and turned around.

"I'll pick you up after dinner!" He shouted.

***

An hour or so later found him sitting on a bench near the park in front of the school with his backpack resting next to him.

"Okay," He muttered to himself while taking a sip from his water bottle. "This shouldn't be that difficult. Just smile at her, compliment her, ask her out to lunch, have dinner with her family."

With a sigh he took another drink from his bottle before setting it down on the floor and pulling out the paper bag containing his dinner for the night. Opening the lid, he pulled out some bread slices and began eating. The food tasted delicious, and despite the fact that he had eaten plenty of food during school, he found that he hadn' t had an appetite ever since the conversation he had with his dad earlier. It was strange, considering he hadn't really thought about it until recently.

Maybe he needed more time to think.

As he kept eating, he glanced around trying to figure out what kind of girl would attract his attention. It didn' t take long however as someone caught his attention as he looked around the street in search of her. His heart skipped a beat upon seeing the woman walking past him. She was wearing a pair of black jeans, a white top, her hair in a messy bun and carrying a small overnight bag on her shoulder.

For some reason, she reminded him of Karen. It was almost as if he was looking at a picture of his future wife. He couldn't quite explain what it was, except to say that there was something very attractive about the woman. Not only did she look beautiful, she was also very intelligent. He knew that his father wouldn't have asked him to meet her if he thought that she wouldn' t fit into the family. He had been surprised when he had learned that the woman was actually Karen's older sister, but he had been more surprised when he had heard that she had given birth to twins, who was stillborn. He knew that it couldn't have been easy for her to lose both children at once, especially the second one.

In all honesty, he hoped that his mother would accept Karen. He wanted her to like her and maybe even love her. He didn't want to marry Karen if she hated his mom. It wasn' t that he was afraid to lose his mother. In fact, he was more than ready to leave her behind.

Still, he had to admit that he was curious. He wanted to see what kind of person she was as well.

And besides, it was fun having a girlfriend outside of school. He didn't often have girls hang out with him in public. It usually happened during weekends. Girls tended to stay home on weekends with their families. There was no point in hanging out with someone who might never return back home again.

So, why not take advantage of this opportunity? Especially if it meant getting to spend more time with Karen.

***

After leaving Karen, he had decided to visit the park near his house to eat dinner there. It was nice to walk through the park whenever he felt bored or lazy. Sometimes, he'd go there and stare up at the sky, wondering what was happening out there in the world. But today wasn't a day like that, and he quickly finished his food and continued on his way towards his destination.

He arrived at the park soon enough. He sat down on one of the benches under the shade of a tree, placed his bag in between his legs and placed his hand inside the bag. For a moment, he contemplated whether he ought to bring Karen with him, but decided against it. She would probably laugh at him.

As he was thinking about it, he heard footsteps approaching him. Looking up, he saw that it was Karen.

She stood in front of him, smiling shyly.

"Hey, Karen."

"Hello. Sorry I'm late."

"It's okay. Are you hungry?"

"A little bit, yeah. Do you feel like eating now?"

"Sure, if you feel like it."

He smiled at her.

"So, are we going to the place you told me where we could get some food?"

"Yeah. I want to make a new friend."

"Who is that?"

"My friend."

"Ah. Okay. So, where are we going?"

"To eat."

"What does that mean?"

"Come here." She said as she motioned for him to move closer.

He followed her instructions and sat down next to her. After making sure that there was a comfortable position for her, she leaned against him and rested her head on his shoulder. It was quite unusual for her to be this close to anyone other than her parents. It wasn' t that she didn't trust him. Quite the opposite actually. She trusted him completely. But she always felt uncomfortable being around others. Maybe it was because of how she had ended up with both boys. Even though she was a big fan of boys, she just didn't feel comfortable with boys that close to her. It wasn' t something that she could change. Besides, she had a boyfriend. She had already told Karen about him a few days ago, so she figured that it would be fine now.

Once she had gotten situated, she looked up at him and smiled happily.

"So, I've heard that you're friends with my daughter."

"Yes, sir. We met a couple of weeks ago."

"You're friends with Karen? How is she?"

"We're good. Better. Her mood has improved."

"That's good."

They stayed silent for a minute, enjoying the peacefulness. Then, Karen broke it by asking:

"Do you wanna do something tomorrow?"

"Like what?"

"Like...you know, do whatever you wanna do. You can invite your friend. We could go shopping. Do anything. It doesn' t matter to me."

"Oh." He hesitated for a moment before responding. "Um...well, I guess that sounds fun. Where did you have in mind?"

"Anywhere. What's your favorite place?"

"I don' t know. I haven't thought about it too much."

"Let me think then. What kinds of stuff do you like doing?"

"Everything really. Movies, concerts, art exhibits..."

"Hmm."

"Why?"

"Nothing. It's nothing."

"Is something bothering you?"

"No. I was just thinking about something."

"You seemed troubled. I hope I'm not intruding if you're not ready to talk about it yet."

"Nah, it's alright. Actually, I think I might be able to answer your question if I think of a good answer."

"Then go ahead. I'm listening."

"Okay. Well, I like reading books and drawing. I also like playing games. And dancing."

"Dancing?"

"Yeah. When I was younger, we used to play this game called Twinkle Twinkle Little Star that my brother taught me."

"Sounds fun. Can I see it?"

"You want to see it? That's fine."

"Yeah. I'd like that."

"Okay." He nodded and opened the bag before pulling out the CD he had bought a few days earlier. Taking the disc out, he handed it to her, watching as she carefully put it in the player. Once the CD was done, she pressed play. A loud song started playing which made him chuckle slightly as he remembered hearing it in high school. The music came from the speakers of the CD as a group of five girls appeared on the screen.

One girl was singing, "Don' t forget, don' t give up on me/ Don't you dare run away, I' ma girl/ We'll get through this together," while dancing along. Another one was playing guitar and dancing to a fast tempo with her hands flying across the body of the instrument, as she sang loudly, "If you love me/ If you care about me/ If you want to keep me/ If you don' t let me go/ If you don' t let go of me..."

The last girl in the chorus was playing the drums as she began to sing, "When I tell you how much I love/ When I tell you how much I need/ When I kiss you, tell me you love me too/ When I tell you, tell me you love me/ Let me stay in your arms forever.

"When I tell you that I know/ You know that I'm gonna break/ When I tell you that I know/ That I won't ever let you go/ You know I'll never stop trying/ And I promise, I will always be true."

They sang for a little longer, before they went off stage and the scene changed. It was then replaced by a picture of the same three girls from the first scene, but they were dressed in different outfits, including a pair of black pants and a red shirt with a big blue star on the chest. This girl in the middle was wearing a yellow top and was holding a cupcake in her hand.

He watched as the song changed to "You're My Sunshine", as the last girl played her guitar. As the song ended, Karen turned towards him and smiled softly at him.

"How come you never showed me that before?"

"I thought you'd hate it. I didn't want to embarrass you like that. Besides, it's a pretty old thing. Most people have already forgotten about it."

"It still sounds pretty cool, though."

He shrugged.

"Whatever you say. Want to go buy ice cream after this?"

"Sure! Ice cream sounds great!"

For a moment, she considered suggesting taking him somewhere else to eat instead, just so he wouldn't get too hungry, but she stopped herself. They weren't in a hurry, and he didn't seem like the type to want to go out somewhere more expensive than what they ate at home.

Besides, he liked going to the park. She knew that he would have preferred staying inside, but she couldn't help it if the weather turned cold later.

***

"Thank you for inviting us over, Miss Lillian," Karen said, politely smiling towards Lillian's mother.

"Of course. Please, call me Lillian."

Lillian smiled back, nodding slightly as she took a seat on the couch. Karen did the same, sitting down next to her and placing her purse on the coffee table.

"Karen," she corrected herself.

"Alright, Karen. Have a seat."

"Thank you. You're very kind."

"Well, thank you anyway. Now, what brings you two here today?"

"We were invited."

"And why?"

"Miss Lillian, you know as well as I do that Karen and I are dating."

"I know, I know. But Karen has been a wonderful influence in your life lately. I just wanted to ask you whether or not there is any reason why you are spending time with her? Is she treating you well?"

"Yeah. I wouldn't say we're together right now, but we are sort of..."

"You're sort of what?"

"Sort of...dating."

"Are you sure? Are you really sure? There's no reason for a young lady like Karen to date someone like you."

"I'm sorry Miss Lillian, but I am very sure."

Lillian sighed as she crossed her arms and shook her head.

"She's really taken a liking to you, Karen. I don' t even understand how she found you."

"I think I must have mentioned myself when we met. At least, I remember her saying that she knew who I was."

"But, Karen, what if she's using you? What if she's lying to you? She doesn't even know you that well. You don' t know her that well either."

"I'm sure that she doesn't lie. She doesn't use people."

"Well, she's lied to me so many times...and for such a long time."

"Well, that doesn't mean that she isn' t capable of lying. Maybe you should try talking to her."

"What? Why should I? She clearly doesn't deserve to be treated so kindly."

"Miss Lillian. Karen and I have been seeing each other since yesterday morning. We talked and we hung out together today."

"Yesterday morning?"

"Yes. She told me that she didn't want to go to work because she knew she couldn't sleep. So, I decided to take care of her. We just ended up watching movies until we fell asleep."

"Did you do anything else?"

"We went out to eat. And then I walked her home afterwards."

"You walked her home? Alone?"

"Yes. Why?"

"Because I saw someone following you. It looked like a man. I think he was a security guard or something like that. It happened before the accident. Someone followed you on your way home."

"Really? Was that the guy with glasses? I forgot about that. He's pretty intimidating."

"You shouldn't have forgotten. It's dangerous out there."

"I know. He's really nice though. And he helps me a lot sometimes."

"I suppose you could say that he cares about you. You're lucky that he hasn't hurt you."

"I guess you're right. I can see how it might look bad to someone like you. You may think I'm just wasting his time, but I'm really grateful that he does that for me. He gets paid enough to help me, don't you think?"

"Yes, I suppose so."

"Anyway, I don't think he will follow me anymore. Do you think he'll show up again tomorrow morning?"

"No, I don't think so. Hopefully, he won't follow you again. If you see him again, give him a message from me. Tell him not to bother you anymore."

"I will."

"Good."

"So...what else did you want to talk about?"

"What exactly do you enjoy doing?"

"Hm, well...I like playing soccer, and I like making art. But, I prefer to draw. I actually like painting and drawing. I like creating shapes."

"Like what?"

"Oh, you know. I paint flowers, animals, trees, people and even buildings."

"That sounds interesting."

"Why? Do you like building things?"

"Not really."

"Why not?"

"I don't like building stuff. I like to create them. That's all I' m good for."

"But you could make something beautiful, you could make something amazing!"

"I don' t think it would matter."

Karen frowned slightly.

"What do you mean?"

"People see what I make, they see what's inside it, and that's it. No more than that. That's all it is. Just something that's made to appear pretty, to distract people from what I really am. People see something they want to see, or they hear some music that they love, and that's it."

"But you must love art. You're able to write songs and poems without breaking a sweat. Why wouldn' t you want to share that with others?"

"Because it doesn't change the truth. The truth is that what I make just looks pretty, and that's it."

"You're wrong."

"No. I'm not."

"But..."

"I'm sorry, Miss Lillian. I know that you care about me. I appreciate it, but that's just the way it is. I'm sorry that I've disappointed you."

There was silence for a moment as Karen stared at Lillian, unsure of what to say. Eventually, Lillian spoke again.

"I just want to make sure that you're safe."

"Of course I'm safe."

"Is that really how it is?"

"Yes, Miss Lillian. I'm always careful around crowds. There is no need to worry about me. I won't be gone forever."

"And if someone hurts you?"

"I promise that I won't get hurt."

"What happens if it's someone important to you?"

"Then I'll deal with it myself."

"Do you promise me that you'll do whatever you have to do to protect yourself?"

"Yes, I promise."

"Promise me that you'll be careful."

Karen hesitated for a moment, and then nodded slowly.

"I promise."