Chapter 16

924 Words
JANICE'S POV The drive to the police station is the longest drive of my life. Every red light feels personal, every second stretches endlessly and every terrifying possibility crashes through my head before I can stop it. Hospitals, accidents, funerals and loss. The same fears I've lived with since Jack was born come rushing back all at once. My hands shake so badly I nearly miss a turn. Please.......please let him be okay. That prayer repeats over and over until it loses all meaning. By the time I reach the station, I can barely breathe. I'm already moving before the car fully stops the front doors blur past. Voices blur past, people blur past. Only one thing matters. "My son." The words tear out of me. "Where is my son?" A police officer immediately stands. "Ms. Soto?" "Yes." "He's okay." Okay, the word hits so hard my knees nearly give out. "Where is he?" "This way." I follow him down a hallway that somehow feels longer than the drive itself. Then I see him. Jack curled up in a chair, small, terrified, and crying, but alive and nothing else matters. The sound that leaves me doesn't even feel human. "Jack." His head snaps up immediately. "Mama." I'm on my knees before he finishes the word, my arms wrap around him so tightly I'm afraid I'll hurt him. I don't care, he's here. Jack throws himself against me and starts crying harder. "I'm sorry." The apology breaks something inside me. "I'm sorry." His small hands clutch my shirt. "I didn't mean to." I shake my head violently. "No baby." "I got lost." "It's okay." "The dog kept running." "Jack." My voice cracks completely. "You don't apologize." His shoulders shake and mine do too. For the first time in years, every wall I built collapses. No control, no strength pretending, no chef and no survivor, just a mother who thought she had lost her child. I bury my face in his hair and hold him tighter. The officer quietly explains what happened. A dog, a storm, a distracted babysitter and a scared little boy who wandered farther than intended. They found the backpack first then Jack second. I hear every word and none of it matters because Jack is alive. That's all I care about, eventually he calms enough to breathe normally. A familiar voice appears behind me. "Janice." I turn, Celine. Chan stands beside her. Both look worried and exhausted like they rushed here the second they heard. Celine kneels immediately. "Oh thank God." Jack gives her a watery smile and Chan rubs the back of his neck. "You scared ten years off my life, kid." Jack lowers his head. "Sorry." "Don't do that." Chan points at him. "You're grounded from apologizing." The ridiculous statement earns the tiniest laugh, exactly what Chan intended. Celine reaches over and squeezes my shoulder. The gesture nearly makes me cry again because they came. Neither hesitated or asked questions, they just came. A little later another familiar voice speaks. "Is he okay?" My entire body stills and I already know who it is. Eden, I slowly look up. He stands near the entrance looking breathless like he came straight here. His eyes immediately find Jack then stay there. Richard stands quietly behind him, of course Richard told him. For a second nobody speaks then Jack looks up. "Tall man." Relief flashes across Eden's face so quickly he probably doesn't realize it happened. "Hey." Jack's lower lip trembles, the sight changes something in Eden instantly. He crosses the room without hesitation. Jack reaches for him automatically and Eden reaches back. Neither of them thinks about it and neither of them stops to question it. The connection happens naturally like it always does and it always will. The thought hurts because part of me loves seeing it and part of me hates seeing it. Both parts exist at the same time. Hours later the paperwork is finally finished. Statements are taken and questions are answered. The nightmare slowly ends, Jack is exhausted and I'm exhausted. Everyone is exhausted. By the time we leave the station, Jack can barely keep his eyes open. Halfway to the car he starts stumbling without thinking, Eden picks him up. Jack curls against his shoulder like he belongs there. My chest tightens painfully because I should tell him, I should tell both of them instead I stay silent. The ride home passes quietly. Rain still falls lightly outside, streetlights blur against wet pavement. Jack falls asleep before we reach the apartment. One arm wrapped around Eden's neck, I stare out the window because looking at them hurts too much and not looking hurts more. After several minutes Eden speaks quietly. "Has he always had nightmares?" The answer slips out before I can stop it. "Since the surgeries." My stomach drops because I revealed more than I intended. I slowly turn toward him and Eden is watching me. Neither of us says anything afterward. The silence follows us all the way home. Back at the apartment, Eden helps carry the sleeping boy upstairs. Jack never wakes even when the elevator opens, even when the apartment door unlocks and even when Eden carries him toward the bedroom. His arms remain loosely wrapped around Eden's neck. I follow behind them quietly. Eden kneels beside the bed and carefully lowers Jack onto the mattress. The room is dim and peaceful for one brief second everything feels okay then Jack shifts slightly in his sleep. A tiny sound escapes him. "Dad........"
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