The Writer's Dilemma

The Cemetery

Audrey looked out the window of the bus, the familiar hills of the country-side rolling into view. A foggy gray mist settled on the outskirts of the city, making the day seem muskier than it truly was. Her mind raced off to Kerem’s words and then go blank or wander off to her current predicament with Marius, then go back to Kerem. It all seemed to be on one vicious cycle until the bus made a stop, her stop, in front of a small flower shop. After exiting the bus, she entered the flower shop immediately, buying a bouquet of flowers while she waited for the next bus. It was a routine for her when she came out to the countryside, stopping to buy the familiar bouquet of pink and white flowers.

                On the next bus, it was another fifteen minutes until she reached another town on the outside of the far side of the city, boarded on one side with a large, well-kept cemetery. Her mind finally gravitated to something else. She walked up the freshly dewed hills, stopping in the center of the cemetery, stopping in front of two elaborately decorated tombstones, ceramic doves hovering delicately on the tops of each one, a shared twig in-between their beaks. It was here that Audrey took a seat on the wet grass, her hand once again laying on the pendant around her neck.

                “Mom… Dad… What do I do?” Audrey half choked, half sobbed out to the tombstones, her voice pleading with the silent bricks of granite. She inhaled and exhaled slowly, closing her eyes as her mind drifted off to Kerem once again. Being here now, she remembered how Kerem’s words in his books had given her the light she needed to go on when her birth parents had passed away. Those words again saved her when Marius had begun to a***e her the first time. The feeling of that time helped her to solve the issue. She was able to forgive Kerem already for telling her innocent lies. Her mind wandered over to Marius. It was the second time he was getting involved in her life and it was in a more professional setting this time around.

                Audrey sat on the cold grass for a long time, her legs beginning to go numb before something finally seemed to click. She stood, leaving the bouquet of flowers on her birth parents' grave, gently running her hand along the edge of the tombstones, bowing her head in thanks. She walked back towards the bus stop, the sun beginning to sink over the horizon. She took out her phone, noticing several missed calls and messages. She opened her messages first finding them from Wyatt who was actually Kerem. She quickly changed the name on her phone before opening the messages.

                                Kerem: Please forgive me!

                                Kerem: I’ll never deceive you again!

                                Kerem: I just wanted to be a friend to you!

                                Kerem: No, that’s not right. I liked you from the very first moment I saw you.

                                When we first met, when our hands brushed together, there was a spark. I know

                                We don’t know each other well… or at all really… but that is what I want most to change

                                Right now. I would never purposefully hurt you! Please, believe me!

                As she read the message, Audrey took in a deep breath of the cool, crisp air, feeling much happier than just an hour or two ago. She switched her screen to the missed calls, finding that her mom had tried to call her five times. She hit the call button as she reached the bus stop.

                “Oh, Audrey! Where have you been? Why haven’t you been answering my calls? I’ve been worried sick!” Her mom’s panic-ridden voice floated loud and clear over the receiver.

                “I’m sorry mom… I went to visit my birth parents. I’m on my way home now,” There was a pause on the other side of the line.

                “Is everything ok? You only visit them when you are sad and depressed,” Her mom’s voice was cautious. “You can tell me anything. You have been so busy recently. I feel I haven’t seen you in ages.”

                “I’m sorry mom. I’ll come home now and tomorrow we will spend the whole day together,” Audrey put on her best cheery voice. Her mom agreed and urged her to come home early just as the bus pulled up to her stop. Audrey found a seat towards the back of the bus, ending the phone call with her mom. The next person on the list was Jocelyn.

                “Audrey! Why wasn’t I able to get through to you?” Jocelyn’s shrill voice forced Audrey to hold her phone away from her ear. “Your mom called me several times.”

                “I am sorry! I was visiting my parents.” Another pause that stretched into extended silence. “I’m ok! I’m on my way home! How are you feeling? It sounds like you have your energy back.”

                “I’ll be released tomorrow and I’ll be back to work on Monday. You have to tell me everything, ok?” Jocelyn waited for confirmation.

                “I’m afraid I won’t be here Monday. I have to go to Vancouver with Mr. Alarie,” Audrey explained, gaining a gasp from Jocelyn.

                “That’s right! It totally slipped my mind! I’ll be prepared to go to Vancouver with you then,” Jocelyn piped up.

                “You just got your health back. I don’t think you should be going on a business trip. You should stay at home and rest for a few days.”

                “And leave you with that scoundrel, Marius? I think not! You won’t talk me out of it,” Jocelyn ended the call before there was any chance at a discussion. Audrey looked down her list of missed calls again, finding Kerem’s name to be the first on the list. She hovered a finger over the call button, knowing that she should call him, but knew that she wouldn’t know what to say either. As the bus lurched to a stop, announcing its arrival at her stop, she decided against calling Kerem as she bundled herself up, ready to face the windy streets of the city.