The Danger I want

The Danger I Want Episode 6

*RESULTS DAY - LATER THAT NIGHT -

My phone buzzes on my desk.

Once.

Twice.

I don’t look. I’m still staring at the acceptance letter. *UNIVERSITÀ DI BOLOGNA. AMMESSA.* The ink is still warm.

It buzzes again.

I flip it over.

Unknown number.

_Congrats. Heard you got into Bologna. -C_

My heart stops. Then it starts again, too fast.

-C.

Cassian.

How did he hear? I didn't tell anyone. Reno didn't tell anyone either.

I read it three times. The period after the C feels so final.

My thumb hovers over the keyboard. I could type _thanks_. I could type _how did you know.

But my throat is tight and if I start typing I’m not sure I’ll stop.

And I don’t even like him. He’s a stranger who just stayed in our house just for a night

Right?

So I don’t.

I lock the screen and set the phone face down. The silence is worse than the buzzing.

Downstairs, Reno is making tea. I hear the kettle. He’ll come up in ten minutes with two mugs and that look he gets when he’s trying to be strong for both of us.

I walk to my window instead. Bologna is 5 hours away. By plane.

5 hours from Reno. From the only home I’ve had since Mom and Dad died.

The dream from last week flashes. Flushed. Nasty. Real.

_Will my brother and Cassian end up together??_

Except Reno is my brother.

And Cassian is just... Cassian. A stranger.

_Congrats. Heard you got into Bologna. -C_

He said like we're friends or something ...anger bubbles up. He doesn’t get to text me like that. I'm nothing to him and he's nothing to me....he's just an annoying scumbag .

So I ignore it.

I leave the phone on the desk all night.

Instead I open my laptop and start looking up apartments in Bologna. Ghost stories. The university founded in 1088. Anything to fill the space.

Reno knocks and comes in with tea. He sees my face and doesn’t ask. He just sets the mug down and sits on the edge of my bed.

"You okay?" he asks, voice low.

"Yeah," I lie. "Just... processing."

He nods. "Bologna’s lucky to have you, Nalia."

I smile. But inside I’m thinking: _Cassian texted me. And I didn’t answer._

And the worst part is, a small, nasty part of me feels a little bit powerful.

FIRST DAY IN BOLOGNA*

The plane lands and my ears pop.

5 hours. Exactly 5 hours like I looked up.

Bologna smells different. Like old stone and coffee and something I can’t name. The airport is smaller than I expected.

Reno hugged me so hard at the gate I thought he’d break me. "Call me when you land. Text me when you get to the dorm. Text me when you breathe."

"Stop," I laughed, but my throat hurt.

"I’m serious, Nalia."

"I know."

Now I’m alone with two suitcases and a backpack that weighs too much.

The university is in the middle of the city. Founded 1088. The oldest in the world. I keep repeating it in my head like it’ll make this feel real.

My dorm is in a building that’s older than my entire country. The walls are thick. The floors creak. The girl at reception speaks fast Italian and then slower Italian when she sees my face.

"Room 204. Third floor. No elevator."

Of course.

I drag my stuff up. My key sticks. When I finally get inside, the room is tiny. One bed. One desk. One window that looks out onto red rooftops.

It’s quiet.

Too quiet.

No Reno making tea downstairs. No kettle. No one asking "you okay?"

I sit on the bed and it dips. I pull out my phone.

No new messages.

I check anyway. Still just _Congrats. Heard you got into Bologna. -C_ from 3 days ago.

Still no reply from me.

My stomach drops.

I force myself up. Orientation is in an hour. I have to go.

The campus is a maze. Archways everywhere. Students everywhere. Everyone looks like they belong except me.

I’m late. I’m lost. I’m clutching the map they gave me like it’s a lifeline.

Then I hear it.

Whispering.

From inside the library walls. I stop.

It’s probably just the wind. Buildings this old make noises.

Right?

"First years!" a voice calls. "This way for orientation!"

I jog to catch up, heart still pounding.

They’re talking about traditions. About the library being open 24 hours. About how students have studied here for almost 1000 years.

Someone in the back mutters, "and some of them never left."

People laugh.

I don’t. By the end of the day my feet hurt and my head hurts and I’m so tired of pretending I’m fine.

Back in my room I unpack slowly. Books. Clothes. The framed photo of me and Reno from last summer.

And at the bottom of my bag...

A black hoodie.. not mine.

Too big.

It smells like smoke and something else.

Cassian’s.

He must’ve left it in the guest room and I grabbed it by accident when I was packing in a rush.

I hold it, I don’t put it on... I don’t throw it away either, I just sit there on the floor of my new room in Bologna, 5 hours from home, holding a stranger’s hoodie.

My phone buzzes.

Reno: _You alive?_

Me: _Yeah. It’s weird here._

Reno: _Weird good or weird bad?_

Me: _Weird old._

I don’t tell him about the hoodie.

I don’t tell him about the whispers.

I set the hoodie on the chair and stare at it until my eyes burn.

FIRST NIGHT IN BOLOGNA*

The room is too quiet.

That’s the first thing I notice. Not the creaking floors. Not the red rooftops. The quiet.

At home there’s always Reno. Kettle boiling. His footsteps. The TV he leaves on even when he’s not watching it. The sound of someone else existing.

Here it’s just me and the hum of the heater and my own breathing.

I sit on the floor because the bed feels too big. I’m surrounded by half-unpacked boxes and I still haven’t figured out where to put anything. What’s the point? I’m going to be here for years but right now it feels temporary. Like if I don’t unpack, I can still go back.

_Will my brother and Cassian end up together??_

The thought from the dream comes back uninvited.

It’s stupid. Reno is my brother. Cassian is just some stranger who stayed just for a night in our house and he's just a stranger who saw me.....oh my gosh I hate remembering but why did I dream that?

Why did it feel so real?

Why did I wake up with my face hot and my stomach turning?

I press the heels of my hands into my eyes.

_Stop._

My phone is face down on the desk. I don’t flip it.

_Congrats. Heard you got into Bologna. -C_

I read it that night and I chose not to answer. That was a choice. That was me having some control.

So why does it feel like I’m losing now?

I look at the hoodie on the chair. Cassian’s.

I didn’t mean to pack it. I was throwing things in bags at 2am, crying and not crying, trying to be brave for Reno. It must’ve been on the back of the chair in the guest room.

It smells like him. Smoke and something else.... something dangerous. Something I don’t know.

I don’t like him. I keep telling myself that.

But I’m holding it and I’m not throwing it away.

God, I’m pathetic.

_You’re in Bologna._ I say it out loud to hear my voice. _Università di Bologna. Founded 1088. You got in._

This is what I wanted since I was 14...my parents aren't here to see how far I've come.

She’s not here to see it. Dad’s not here either.

It’s just me and Reno now. And Reno’s 5 hours away by plane.

The loneliness hits all at once and I have to stand up or I’ll drown in it.

I walk to the window. The city is dark but not silent. Distant voices. A scooter. Church bells.

Somewhere in this city, people have been studying for almost 1000 years. That’s insane.

Did they feel this small too? Did they sit in rooms like this and wonder if they made a mistake?

Someone laughed during orientation today. "And some of them never left."

I didn’t laugh.

Because what if that’s true? What if you come here and the place just... keeps you?

I’m spiraling.

I know I’m spiraling.

My phone buzzes.

Reno: _You alive?_

I type back too fast. _Yeah. It’s weird here._

Reno: _Weird good or weird bad?_

Me: _Weird old._

That’s all I give him. I can’t say _I found Cassian’s hoodie_ or _I heard whispering in the library_ or _I think I’m in over my head._

Because if I say it, it becomes real.

I set the phone down.

I should sleep. I have classes tomorrow.

But I keep looking at the hoodie.

And I keep thinking about that text.

And I keep thinking: I don’t like him.

So why does ignoring him hurt this much?

I pull the blanket around my shoulders instead of the hoodie.

Lie down.

Stare at the ceiling.

Bologna is old.

I am new.

And I have no idea what I’m doing here.

Meeting Him *

Woke up today feeling so happy.... I'll be having my first lecture today and I'm so excited.

First lecture equals first impression and I'm definitely going to kill my first impression,ever since I was a kid my first impression to someone or people were always the best and the fact that I'm very pretty makes it way easier .

i look at the mirror and I'm pleased with what I'm wearing ....the blue off shoulder body hug top fits my torso perfectly and my low waist jeans makes my hips really visible, I pair them with ballet flats. My hair is let loose and my makeup is simple but giving latina vibes, giving more details to my siren eyes.

I'm good to go. I head down the stairs and I'm really pleased with how the brick walls are old but still shinning...wtf I can swear I just saw a light flash from inside the wall "What are you doing" A female voice stops my hand from touching the spot the light came from. "Nothing" I reply way to quickly and turn to see a middle aged woman, from her dressing she must be the female hostel ward inspector. She is dressed in what seems like a police uniform... something like that "Quit staring, don't you have somewhere to be"

"Oh...yes I do... I'll go now"I say as I pass the woman but my mind is still focused on the light that came from the wall, just as if there was an inner room there.

I hate being curious but I also know curiosity kills the cat and that's why I'm going to let it slide.

I step into my lecture hall and like always, all eyes are on me.... well I'm not surprised, it's nothing new.

I walk to the last role with pride, I'm about to take my seat when someone stops me. I arched an eyebrow at her that says what is your problem but she just points to the front seat. I approach the front seat not wanting to cause a scene on my first day when I see something boldly written on a mini board and placed on the seat.

"SEAT HERE NALIA DARLING"

What the heck, is this some kind of joke. I turn around to look at the class and I can see all of them staring at me and whispering.... and then I see him , stepping inside the class, approaching me.

And just like that all the colours on my face disappears....I think I'm going to pass out.