The Danger I want

The Danger I Want Episode 12

*Nalia’s POV - 11:47pm. The School Lodge.*

The room is too quiet.

Cassian— _Reynold_ — is in the chair again.

Same spot. Same distance. Like last night never happened.

I don’t get it.

Yesterday morning he said "I’m not going anywhere."

And he meant it.

But now it’s like he built the wall back up.

He hasn’t looked at me in an hour.

Just the door. Always the door.

I’m sitting cross-legged on the bed.

Drawing circles on my notebook.

Badly.

“Reynold?”

He doesn’t jump. He just turns his head.

“Yeah?”

“You look tired.”

“I’m fine.”

That’s what he always says.

He’s lying. I can see it. Dark circles. Jaw tight.

He didn’t sleep. Again.

An idea pops into my head before I can stop it.

Stupid idea.

“...Do you want to sleep on the bed?”

The words come out too fast.

He goes still.

Like I slapped him.

“What?”

“The bed. It’s big enough. I mean— not together.

Just. So you can actually sleep.”

I’m rambling now. Shut up, Nalia.

His eyes flick to the bed. Then back to the door.

“No.”

One word. Flat.

“Oh. Okay.”

My face is burning.

“Was just offering. You don’t have to—”

“Nalia.”

He says my name like it hurts.

“I can’t.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t.”

He stops. Swallows.

“Because I’m supposed to be watching the door.”

Right.

The door.

Always the door.

I nod. Pretend it didn’t sting.

“Okay. Sorry.”

Silence again.

Worse than before.

I lie down. Face the wall.

Pretend I’m not thinking about last night.

About him on the floor.

About him saying "I won’t let them take you again."

Again.

Who did he lose?

Who was Elena?

I whisper it before I can help it.

“Did you love her?”

I hear the chair creak.

He’s not breathing.

“What?”

“Elena. The girl you mentioned.”

I turn over.

“Did you.. love her?”

Long pause.

Too long.

“Yeah,” he says finally. Voice rough.

“I did.”

My chest twists.

I don’t know why that hurts.

I just met him.

“Was she... was she nice?”

I don’t know why I’m asking.

Maybe I want to know what kind of girl a guy like him loved.

“She laughed too loud,” he says. Quiet.

“Hated the cold. Was annoying.”

That sounds like me.

The thought comes out of nowhere.

I push it away.

“Did you... did you fight over her?”

“I don’t— what?”

“Like. Was there another guy? A rival?”

I sit up. This is dumb.

“Because you look at me like you’re scared I’ll leave.

Like you already lost someone that way.”

The room goes dead silent.

Reynold isn’t looking at the door anymore.

He’s looking at me.

And his eyes are black. Not brown.

Black.

Then he blinks and they’re normal again.

“You should sleep, Nalia.”

That’s all he says.

I lay back down.

But I can’t stop thinking:

What if he loved her.

And someone took her.

And now he thinks it’ll happen to me too.

I pull the blanket up.

“Goodnight, Reynold.”

“Goodnight.”

He doesn’t say anything else.

I hear him shift in the chair.

Still watching the door.

And I fall asleep wondering why the name "Elena"

always get a reaction from him.

*Nalia’s POV - 10:15am. Renaissance Lit. University of Bologna.*

I’m half paying attention.

Reynold is in the back again.

Hood up. Arms crossed.

He’s been like that all week.

Since I offered him the bed.

Since I asked about Elena.

He won’t look at me.

The professor is old. Rambling about some 16th century poet.

I’m trying to take notes but my handwriting looks like circles.

Then:

“Elena? Elena, are you with us?”

I blink.

What?

I look around.

No one else moves.

The professor is looking right at me.

Squinting over his glasses.

“Miss... Nalia, right? Sorry about that, I mix up names sometimes...i am getting really old.”

My face goes hot.

“Uh. Yeah. It’s Nalia.”

And then it happens.

From the back of the room:

“Don’t call her that.”

Dead quiet.

Everyone turns.

Reynold is half-standing. Hands gripping the desk.

Jaw clenched so hard I can see it from here.

The professor frowns.

“Excuse me?”

“I said don’t call her that.”

His voice is low. Dangerous.

Not Reynold Cassian voice.

Someone else’s voice.

“Reynold,” I whisper.

He doesn’t hear me.

“Sir, that’s enough,” the professor says.

Reynold sits down. Slow.

But he’s still staring at the professor like he wants to rip the podium off.

Class continues.

But nobody’s listening.

They’re all looking at us.

I’m burning.

Embarrassed.

And... something else.

Jealous.

Because he reacted like that.

Not “that’s not her name.”

But _“Don’t call her that.”_

Like the name hurts him.

Like Elena mattered too much.

For the rest of class I can’t focus.

Every time the professor glances at me I flinch.

Reynold doesn’t look at me once.

When the bell rings, I pack up fast.

I’m out the door before he can catch me.

He catches me anyway. In the hall.

“Nalia. Wait.”

“Why did you do that?”

My voice comes out shaky.

“I'm sorry, forget about it.”

“But why??”

He runs a hand through his hair. Frustrated.

“It was a mistake. I’m sorry.”

“That’s not an answer.” I say trying to blink the tears away.

“I’m sorry, okay?”

And he walks off.

Leaving me in a hallway full of people whispering.

I lean against the wall.

My chest feels tight.

He loved her.

He loved Elena so much that hearing her name made him snap in front of over 200 people.

And I’m just... the girl who looks like her.

The replacement.

Tears sting my eyes.

I blink them away.

Stupid.

I don’t even know him.

So why does it feel like I just lost something?

*Nalia’s POV...10:42am

I locked the door.

My hands are shaking.

I don’t know why I’m in here.

I have class in 20.

“Don’t call her that.”

He said it like the name was a weapon.

Like hearing it could break him.

I splash water on my face.

It doesn’t help.

Everyone saw.

Over 200 people saw him lose it over a name.

Over _her_ name.

Elena.

I didn’t even know her.

But I hate her.

That’s awful. I know.

But I hate that he looked at me like I was a ghost.

I hate that he’s been guarding me like I’m made of glass because of HER.

I hate that "Reynold Cassian" is gentle to everyone except when someone says her name.

My phone buzzes.

Unknown number.

Probably spam.

I ignore it.

I stare at myself in the mirror.

Same eyes. Same hair.

Do I look like her?

Is that why he’s here?

Is that the only reason?

The door rattles.

“Nalia?”

It’s a girl from my Lit class.

“You okay? You just ran out.”

“Yeah. I’m fine.”

My voice sounds wrong.

Footsteps walk away.

I’m not fine.

I’m sitting on the bathroom floor with my knees to my chest,

wondering if the guy who sat on my floor all night

would have done it for me.

Or just for her face.

I hear footsteps stop outside.

Don’t knock.

Just... waiting.

Reynold.

He doesn’t say anything.

I don’t say anything.

After a minute, the footsteps leave.

And I’m alone again.

With his apology I didn’t get,

and a name that isn’t mine,

and the feeling that I’m standing in someone else’s story.

I wipe my face.

Stand up.

Fix my hoodie.

Class starts in 10.

I can’t miss it.

But when I walk out, the hall is empty.

And I don’t look for him.