Surviving Us

The Beginning of The End

His fingers entangled with mine, my heart beating as we gaze into each other’s eyes, his big brown eyes. He smells dangerously seductive, a scent I will never forget as he leans in as we are talking, closer, closer and closer. He picks up his coffee, gulps it down and I hear the jangle of the bell that sits on top of the cafe door. Mandy, the so thought to be prettiest girl according to herself plants herself down on his seat and kissed him passionately.

I wake from yet another enticing and Terrorising dream by being dragged literally out of my bed by those same hands that entangled mine in my dream.

“James, what are you doing!?” I scream as I lurch my legs out of his hands and sprawl to the floor.

“Well I rang you forty minutes ago about five times and no one picked up. Your mum let me in. So hear I am.” He reach down to give me a hand up but I swat it away. “By the way you have a little drool,” he indicates to the side of my mouth that’s completely full of my ridiculously gross saliva. Great. How embarrassing for him to notice the drool meant for him.

“That doesn’t answer my question? What if I was getting dressed or sick or something? You can’t just barge into my room!”

“I’ve always been able to come into your room no problem since we like eight years old. What’s the problem now?”

“We were eight then! I’m nineteen now!”

“Right.” He gives me this weird little smirk to tease me.

“What?” I snarl.

“I suppose you were dreaming about me?” He laughs with his devilish grin that is contagious and I throw my pillow at him that was entangled in my blankets. Nobody can make my heart beat like that. Like the way he makes my heart skip a beat.

“Up we get,” he picks me up like a sack of potatoes, plants me into my ensuite bathroom and throws me my towel. “We’re going shopping and you might want to wash up,” he gives me a wink.

…

As I make my way down stead in a simple pair of jeans, light pastel green shirt and vans, I can hear James speaking with my mum.

“Oh James, you are as cheeky as ever!” My mum laughs, “so when will you and my daughter finally fess up?”

James sighs, clearly over hearing the same thing all the time. Over hearing about the possibility of him and I being together. “I love her, but we are friends. She doesn’t see me that way… I don’t see her that way…”

“You don’t sound so sure…” my mum reply’s quietly.

I make haste down the stair and into the kitchen where they are having breakfast so James can get out of the awkward conversation. Sausages, steak and bacon with hash browns and scrambled eggs, my and James’ favourite breakfast that he comes to enjoy with us every Saturday morning.

“About time.” James sighs as he looks me up and down, “casual today are we?”

I look him up and down in the same manor, “just as casual as you are, my darling.” I emphasise my darling bit out of pure sarcasm. Seeing as he is dressed in pretty much the same thing as I am but a black shirt that defines his broadness and muscular body. Which definitely doesn’t help me and my dream situation.

“What are you kids going to do today?” My mum pipes in with an encouraging smile that clearly had ulterior motives.

I look at James that clearly made our plans for today without my knowledge considering he dragged me out of bed. “Oh yeah, we are going shopping,” I look at him dumbfounded, he looks at me back knowing that if he doesn’t say something along with it he will get murdered for the events of this morning. “I don’t like the daggers you’re throwing. I need clothes.”

“Right.”

“Be careful today, apparently something is going on. I saw it on the news. People getting hurt and all sorts. But I mean it won’t happen here.”

“Mum, that news you saw is happening in England.”

“I’m aware, I just care for you. Both of you.” She looks at James in the same manner. He’s always been in our lives I’ve known him for years. The fact that he doesn’t have a mother makes mine feel like she is his regardless.

…

I hate riding with Ann. I hate it. I don’t know why I always go to hers, or why I have the need to bring her everywhere. She’s my best friend. But I hate that fact. My suv that she sits in every-time I go get her, makes her look small, and defines her. It really defines her. Maybe it’s the small presence that I’m aware of or the fact that it’s just her presence that I’m always definitely aware of. The music plays low in my ears but my heart drums over everything. I’m too aware of her presence. I shouldn’t feel this way.

“James!” She shouts snapping back my attention.

“Why are you yelling?”

“Because I’m talking to you! You aren’t even listening.” I know if I say that I am she’ll see straight through my lies. I’ve never been good at lying, not in front of her anyway. But she’s right. I wasn’t listening. I was thinking about her. Like I have been every minute since we were twelve. She’s all I think about. Her beautiful long strawberry blonde hair that I yearn to have my hands run through, and her light brown eyes that you can get lost in like a trance. Her sporty demeanour has left her with a body that irresistible to not look at.

“I wasn’t” I nod.

“It’s not even important.” She sighs.

“Then why yell?” She sighs in response. That irritable sigh. I hate it because it draws me in even more. No. Not today.

I pull the car up and park in the parking lot of the shopping centre and jump out of the car to open Anna’s door. I open it wide.

“Gentlemen as always” she snickers.

We march inside side by side. Her arm slightly brushed against mine and my hair rises and breath catches. If only she knew. We go to our main store, she heads to the women’s section leaving me to to look after her. Just staring from afar really as she looks through the racks of clothes. Clothes that she would look divine in. I make my way to the men’s, she still in my perspective. I’m still fully aware of what she’s doing. Putting clothes against her body comparing sizes. Matching items together. As I pick up a pair of shorts I see a man approach her. Her backing away and the shear terror in her face.