The Logan Brothers

Chapter 17 - Kiss Me, You i***t

Chapter 17 - Kiss Me, You Idiot

The sun was beating down on the water, creating a glare that hurt my eyes for the first few minutes. Everything was just as beautiful as I remembered it. It was hard to believe that this was real life and not coming straight out of a movie.

Wesley and I had been down at the lake for a while, just dipping our feet in. We walked around the shore and talked, just having a genuinely good time. He clung to my hand almost desperately, not that I was complaining. It was just such a different attitude about the whole thing then Grayson. It was hard to get used to.

"Are you having a good time?" Wes asked, coming to a stop. We were about knee deep in the water, and slowly venturing farther.

"Of course," I smiled, looking up at him. I had abandoned my sunglasses on the shore, so the sun glared painfully into my eyes. "I always have a great time with you."

"Good," He nodded, biting his lip. Immediately my stomach clenched; I knew that face. That was Wes' thinking face, and it was never a good sign. "Listen, I think we need to talk. I know that I said Grayson li-" Before he could finish I shoved him, hard. He stumbled and fell forward, completely submerged in the water.

I'm not sure what came over me. I knew what was going to come out of his mouth next, and I didn't like the sound of it. I wasn't ready to have that conversation, so naturally, I panicked. He hadn't been prepared for it, though, so it came up coughing and sputtering, trying to get the water from his lungs.

"Oh my god," I gasped, gripping one of his arms. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean-" I caught a glimpse of an evil smirk just before he pulled me under the water, pinning me to the bottom of the lake for a few seconds. The ground moved as I struggled, kicking out in an attempt to kick Wes away from me. A moment later he released his hold, and I floated up to the top. "Asshole."

"But you like me," He smirked, chuckling. "Besides, you started it."

"That doesn't mean you had to hold me under!" I exclaimed, wiping my sopping wet hair from my face. Somewhere my bun had fallen out, and now the hair tie was lost forever.

Wes' face fell, and he actually looked scared. "Are you actually mad at me? I just thought that...I..." I burst out laughing, shaking my head at him. Wesley really was something else.

"I'm teasing, Wes," He frowned at me, which only made me laugh even harder. Sometimes I forgot how different he was from his brother, sometimes it was hard to separate the two in my mind. Especially when I had been spending so much time with Grayson. "Come here."

I moved forward, wrapping my arms around his neck. I had meant it to be an innocent hug, something we used to be able to do without any complicated feelings. But as soon as Wes wrapped his arms around my waist, my heart started pounding. I was almost certain he could feel it against his skin because I was pushed right up against him.

Wes sighed, lowering his head to rest on my shoulder. His long, shallow breaths fanned out against my neck, making me shiver. And suddenly, his lips brushed the place where my neck and shoulder connected. It was so soft I barely felt it, at first I wasn't sure if it had even been real, but my body stiffened anyway. All of a sudden my breath was uneven, my heart was doing backflips in my chest.

Slowly, he pulled back, leaving his hands to rest at the small of my back. His face was inches from mine, and his breath was just as uneven. His eyes were glistening, searching my face for any sort of sign. "God," He groaned, frowning slightly. "I really want to kiss you right now."

I wanted to scream.

"Then do it," I whispered, clenching my hands behind his back. His eyebrows shot up in surprise, but he leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine. It felt like something was exploding in my chest; something magical, painful, and depressing all at the same time. Every nerve in my body was tingling as his lips melted against mine.

He didn't try to take it any farther. He didn't dig his nails into my skin or bite my lip or stick his tongue into my mouth without my permission. It was nothing like my previous kisses, kisses that had been dominated by Grayson who was way more experienced than either of us. In a way it was innocent, just like I had always pictured my first kiss with someone would be.

In seconds he pulled away, resting his forehead against mine. Neither of us were breathless and neither of our lips were swollen. It hadn't been full of lust, it had been hesitant and careful. I had to admit, there was a certain appeal to it. I didn't feel like I was about to be torn to shreds. It was nice, almost comforting.

Slowly, his eyes fluttered open. He looked at me for a moment before stepping away, finally letting me go. A crimson blush spread across his cheeks and ears, and he coughed awkwardly. "Um..."

"Yea..." I trailed off, not sure of what to say. Was this a normal reaction after a first kiss? I wasn't sure; my only other kisses had been with Grayson, and he was too cocky to be awkward about anything.

"So we're seniors next school year," He said, still not looking at me. His eyes were following the shoreline across the lake as if searching for something. I was thrown by his sudden change of subject but went along with it anyway. What else was I supposed to do?

"Yeah, I can hardly believe it," I chuckled, turning around. "It'll be getting dark soon, we should probably get back to the tent."

"You're right," said Wesley as I waded through the water, walking onto the sand. Even though I was still dripping with water, I pulled my cover up over my head just so I wasn't showing so much skin.

Suddenly, I was worried. Was I that bad of a kisser? Wes' reaction had been less than encouraging; it had seemed like he hadn't enjoyed it at all, and now he was acting like he had made some sort of huge mistake. As we climbed up the rocks together, starting our hike back, he didn't hold my hand. He didn't even say anything until I stopped and crossed my arms, glaring at the back of his head. I couldn't take it anymore, we obviously needed to talk.

"Is something wrong?" I asked, shifting on my feet nervously. Wes turned, surprised that I had stopped walking.

"What do you mean?" He wrinkled his eyebrows, clearly confused. The wind was starting to pick up and the sky was turning prematurely dark; it was going to rain.

"You're acting weird!" I exclaimed, throwing my hands in the air. I hadn't meant to yell, but I was frustrated and self-conscious. Any girl would've been in my position. "Am I a bad kisser or something?" His face morphed into comprehension and he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.

"It's not that, Immy-"

"Then what is it, Wessy?! Because you said you liked me, and then you kiss me, and now you want nothing to do with me?! I don't get it!" He flinched at the volume of my voice, lowering to his head to the ground. A loud clap of thunder rolled through the air, making the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. "Maybe this whole trip was a big mistake."

Immediately his head snapped up. He stared at me with wide eyes, looking horrified. "Imogen, no. This wasn't a mistake. I-"

"Explain exactly what it is then, Wes." I pinched the bridge of my nose. Something in the back of my mind told me I should've been more patient with him, I should've given him a chance to explain, but I was freaking out. I wanted to scream until my voice was gone and I couldn't make another sound.

"You're so stubborn," He muttered, closing the distance between us with two giant steps. Once again his lips were upon mine, this time with more urgency. He gripped my hips and backed me up until my back was against a tree, scraping the back of my legs. I made a sound of surprise, eyes still open, staring at him. I was so shocked I was barely able to kiss back. "There," He gasped when he pulled away, breathless. "Was that better?"

I blinked at him, speechless. "I..." I didn't know what to say. He let out a humorless bark of laughter, taking a step away and running his hands over his face. If I hadn't known better, I would've said he looked wounded.

"You don't know what you want, do you?" He asked, fixing his eyes upon me. I squirmed uncomfortably under his gaze, heart pounding. "What is it you want me to say? Because apparently nothing I do is good enough for you."

I felt like I had been punched in the gut; all the air seemed to rush from my lungs and I couldn't breathe. "What's that supposed to mean?" Little raindrops had started falling from the sky, landing on my arms and cheeks. Another roll of thunder echoed through the air.

"I mean you always find something to complain about," He said gently, but his eyes weren't gentle at all. Behind them, there was a sad, raging storm, and it was about to start pouring. "What was I supposed to say after I kissed you? What do you want to hear?"

"Anything," I cried desperately, tears welling in my eyes. The rain started coming down faster, and within seconds it was pouring. I could barely hear my own voice over the pounding water droplets. "Anything would've been better than ignoring me."

His eyes widened and his body stiffened. "I wasn't ignoring you."

"Really? Because you were looking anywhere besides me, you barely said anything, and you didn't hold my hand. Before everything had been fine, but after you kissed me things got weird. Just tell me what's bothering you, Wesley!"

"I'm afraid I'm not good enough for you!" He screamed, voice echoing through the forest. As his voice faded away, it got painfully quiet. The only sound was the rain and thunder around us. He sniffed, running a hand through his soaking hair. "I don't have very good luck with girls and I'm afraid I'm not f*****g good enough for you. There, are you happy now?"

I'm pretty sure my mouth was hanging open. Wes, the boy who had been my best friend for as long as I could remember; the boy who had been with me through everything; the boy who I cared about more than anyone in the whole world thought the wasn't good enough for me? If anything I wasn't good enough for him.

In fact, I knew I wasn't. I was the one sneaking around with his brother.

I could hardly admit that, though, so instead I stood up straight. Wes looked broken and vulnerable, emotions that I was used to seeing on him, just not when they were because of me. I marched forward and cupped either side of his face firmly.

"Listen to me, okay?" I said, and he nodded. "You're too good for me. Wes, you're the best person I know. You're sweet, you're kind, you listen and you care. You do whatever you can for everyone, even strangers, and you don't hesitate to tell the truth. You're honest and a gentleman and let me tell you, there aren't too many of those left out there. I don't know where you got this idea that you're 'not good enough for me,' but it's a lie. You need to throw that bullshit away, because if I ever hear something like that come out of your mouth again, Wesley Logan, we're going to have to have words."

At first, his face morphed into a sort of awe, like he couldn't believe this was actually happening, and then slowly the sparkle came back to his eyes. An amused sort of smirk made it's way onto his lips as he chuckled. "Have I mentioned how much I like you?"

"Maybe," I mused, smiling so wide I thought my cheeks might split. "But it never hurts to say it again. Now kiss me, you idiot." I didn't have to ask him twice. He leaned forward and gently pressed his lips to mine for a few seconds before pulling away. It didn't last long, but it was just enough for a pool of heat to gather in my stomach.

"We should get back to the tent," Wes rose his voice to be heard over the rain, grabbing my hand. "We need to get you out of this rain before you catch a cold!"

"I'm not going to get a cold!" I defended myself, even though I was laughing. He rolled his eyes at me as he pushed me along, up the worn out path. Mud was starting to form, and every so often my flip flop clad feet would sink into the ground, only to come back up covered in goop. I was soaked to the bone and starting to shiver, so when we reached the campsite a wave of relief washed over me.

"I'm getting some food," Wes called, releasing me as he jogged over to the cooler. I dove into the tent to wait, panting. We had run most of the mile back to our campsite, and most of it was uphill. Quickly, I closed the tent flap behind me so it wouldn't fill up with water. Then I found a towel in the bottom of my bag and started drying off.

Wes popped into the tent a minute later, dumping an armful of food on the ground before closing the flap behind him. He looked a little like a wet dog, and I couldn't help but laugh. He gave me an annoyed look, shaking his head.

"I got graham crackers and chocolate and marshmallows, but obviously we can't light a fire so I don't know what we'll do with them. I also grabbed a box of cereal and some Mountain Dew." I tossed my towel at him, now as dry as I could be before I dove for the food. I grabbed the marshmallows and popped one in my mouth. "I'm going to change, close your eyes." He said, reaching to pull off his swim trunks.

"Or I could watch," I said jokingly as I reached to cover up my eyes. He laughed once, a short bark of laughter that made my heart skip a beat.

"That sounds like something my brother would say," said Wes. The smile slowly slipped off my face and my blood ran cold. Was I really spending that much time with Grayson? "What? Is something wrong?"

"N-No," I stuttered, practically shaking. Lying, especially to Wes, was not my strong suit. "Just...Let's not talk about Grayson, okay?"

"I'm fine with that. Okay, you can open your eyes now." When I moved my hands away, he was wearing black basketball shorts and pulling another shirt over his head. "Do you want to change now?"

"Yea," I gulped, crawling over to my bag. "This time, keep your eyes closed!"

"I will," He said sarcastically, shoving his face into a pillow. I was glad, otherwise, I wouldn't have trusted him completely. "So, what do you want to do tomorrow?"

"I thought you had this whole thing planned out," I squeaked, stripping from my bathing suit. It was kinda weird to be in the same, open space with Wes, completely naked. I knew he couldn't see me, but I was still squirming.

"Well, not exactly. I have to let you pick some stuff, too."

"Uh huh, I'm sure that's it," I scoffed, rolling my eyes. Knowing Wes he hadn't really thought ahead; he was more of a go with the flow guy. It was one of the few things he and Grayson had in common. "We could go on a hike or something." I pulled my pink, lacy bra and underwear on, frantically searching for pajamas.

"Yeah, I think we should. Remember that trail my dad used to take us on?"

"The one that takes like, five hours? How could I forget?" It might have been because we were so young back then, but the uphill hike Mr. Logan used to take us on lasted forever. By the end, I had been sticky and sweaty, ready to take a nap. Then there had been the walk back. I had slept for a solid twelve hours.

"Well, I think we should do it," He said. "Can I open my eyes now?" I had just pulled on a purple tank top and black cotton shorts and was straightening the hem of my shirt.

"Yep," I said, popping the 'p.' I grabbed my sleeping bag and rolled it out, fighting back a yawn. "We can figure out what we're doing tomorrow in the morning. Right now, I'm exhausted."

"Okay," He agreed, rolling out his own sleeping bag. There was just enough room in the tent for our sleeping bags to fit side by side with our duffle bags at our feet. "Sleep well, Imogen."

"Night, Wes," I said through a yawn, stretching out. It was still early, but the clouds from the storm had made it dark enough to sleep. When I closed my eyes, it was almost completely dark.

"Oh, and Immy?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for letting me be your first kiss." Wes leaned over and planted a kiss on my cheek, smiling at me. Then he turned over and laid down, facing away from me.

I felt like I had just been shot through the heart. How was I supposed to sleep after that?! He thought that was my first kiss, and I couldn't tell him it wasn't. If I did, I would have to tell him about Grayson, and if I told him that, I would have no shot with Wesley. We had always told each other everything, though.

I remember when we were nine and Wes came home, smiling like an i***t. He had just kissed the prettiest girl in our class, Kailee Winters. He had been so proud of himself, and I had congratulated him. I think we had even had congratulatory ice cream.

Oh my god, I really was the worst person ever.