We chose this life

Chapter 10 - Defining it

Morning came too fast. As the rays of the sun crawled through the openings of closed shutters, my tired eyes began to open slowly. On straight lines of golden rays, dust particles chased like concerned horse riders going into battle, shriving and colliding. Outside, in the distance, the wheels of cars whose owners nervously went to their jobs could be heard. I turned around and saw Michael, who was still asleep.

Slowly, I snuck out of bed without him feeling it and quietly opened the door to the room. And then it occurred to me. Roommate! I quickly got back to my fingertips room and started slowly closing the door to the room. Unfortunately for me, the creak woke Michael up. s**t! Is there a way out of this situation? It's not like I want to sneak out and leave like I just had one night's s*x, but I also didn't want to stay too long. After all, I only know Michael on a few dates.

"Good morning" Michael muttered, opening his sleepy eyes for a moment only to close them again moments later.

"Good morning" I whispered and approached the bed slowly. "I'd like to go home slowly, but I'm not sure if your roommate's back or if there's a chance I could run into him..." I said insecurely.

"Even if he came back, don't worry. He must be sleeping a deep sleep right now." Michael smiled still with his eyes closed.

"All right, let's get out of here." Then I'll slowly get ready and go. Hi," he said.

As I turned on my heel to head for the bathroom, Michael grabbed my hand and pulled me towards him.

"We should do this again, shouldn't we?"

Unsure if I really wanted to, I just smiled. "Very likely. Sleep some more. We'll keep in touch."

This time, with a more confident step, I headed for the bathroom. After washing my face and brushing my teeth and praying to God that the roommate wouldn't wake up and go into the bathroom, I got dressed quickly and started leaving the apartment. With one foot on the doormat and the other still in the apartment, I tried to find a doorknob on the outside of the front door with my right hand. s**t! s**t! s**t! After a futile hand-swinging, I realised that the door only had a doorknob on the other side that didn't interest me... How am I supposed to close this door without slamming it and waking up the whole building? Nothing, let's go. By attracting the other leg to the one who was already primarily out of the apartment, I pulled the door to me and closed them behind with a loud bang.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

It's been ten days since we last met. I haven't given Michael much thought. Neither of us was eager to message the other one, and that started to bother me. I felt discomfort. First of all, I didn't know where I was with Michael. Is he the right person for me? Do I need to get attached to him now or not? I'm 27 years old, and I'm just starting to work out my professional plan... I don't feel like I have too much time to spend engaging myself in a romantic relationship. I needed to stop these thoughts. 

I've decided to redirect my focus onto my emails which desperately needed to be replied to today. I've started with those regarding my visa extension and how I will cope with that situation now. Suddenly, I remembered that I never responded to Nathan. I opened his latest reply and started typing.

"Hey buddy, thanks for your concern and for explaining why you can't help me. I fully understand. No problem, I'll try to manage somehow to extend my visa. Meanwhile, I got the job, and I am waiting for the HR from the company to invite me to come for the contract signing, and that's it then. I will have a stable job! How great is that? I can stay!!! See you later at Marc's party. Bye, Annie"

Just as I was about to finish with my emails, my smartphone notification chime startled me. It was a reminder to go and pick up the books I ordered from my home country. I'll finally have some interesting literature to read, I thought. I rushed to get out of the apartment and to the post office.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Another date with Michael at his place. We have just finished watching a movie together, and I was nonchalantly lying with my head in his lap while he stroked my hair with his beautifully big hand. I closed my eyes as I found this particular moment to be so damn relaxing. Michael thought it is a perfect moment to ask me if I am not too much into him. I couldn't believe my ears.

"Annie? How do you feel about this relationship? Aren't you a bit too much into me?"

I opened my eyes and searched his face. I was looking for a reason he might be asking me such a question. Slowly, as if my body didn't weight a pound, I lifted myself from his lap and sat in front of him. With my eyes fixated to his, I decided that this will be turned into my advantage and that I won't be showing any fear of being left or even worse, that I couldn't image my life without him.

"Listen, Michael. I am who I am. I come from a different culture, and I tend to have much stronger emotional expressions and reactions than people from the UK. I cannot tell you now if I am too much into you or not. I've only come to know you a bit few dates ago. But if you have any doubts about this, or if you want that we end this, whatever it is becoming, fine by me." I was extremely surprised by my own calm and controlled voice and posture. I smiled and clearly showed Michael I couldn't care less if he chose never to see me again. I caught him unprepared for my answer. He was unsure of what he wanted, and he couldn't decide at this moment. It was so obvious to both of us, the silence in which he remained for a few seconds, clearly proved it. As for me, I knew that if he wanted to be with me, he would have to fight for the preservation of this relationship and invests himself the same way I was willing to invest myself in building it even further.

"Alright. I just wanted to make sure we are on the same line." He finally squeezed a sentence out of his mouth. 

"Good. I am glad we are." I concluded and went back to my previous position. Michael continued stroking my hair.

And so, we continued our relationship. We didn't start madly in love with each other, no. Our relationship grew day after day, month after month, year after year, and out of it, love started growing in parallel. Aside from the physical attraction, the mutual discovery of our interests and commitment made us bond as we could never have imagined.