Fallen Watcher

CHAPTER 2-1

Jonathan had failed at the one thing he was assigned to do: protect her. But now she was gone. Allison was gone. He had been her guardian angel and he had failed. The world and life as he knew it seemed to cave in around him, and he didn’t know where to go or what to do next. Help me, Father, to understand this. I know you have a perfect plan, just help me understand it. Communicating with God offered him assurance. But in his angelic heart, he struggled with the fact that this was all part of a perfect design. He never used to have a problem believing this until now. He found himself questioning God.

However, now there was another human who, this very moment, was going through incredible pain. Jonathan was only able to save one of them from the c*****e on what was supposed to be the couple’s happiest day of their lives: their wedding day. Now, as he stared down at the one he had saved, feeling overwhelmed by loss and helplessness, he hated knowing that even with all his abilities, he wasn’t adequate enough to do the one task asked of him.

Standing there, unseen by those passing by, Jonathan stared at the broken human and realized that not only had Riley’s life changed completely, but that attempts on his life would come again and again until he was dead. The demons, those of damned souls, would continue to hunt this human because, after all, that’s what they did. Suddenly, he was aware that he was clenching his fists. He didn’t blame the human—he blamed himself. With all the power that he possessed, why couldn’t he have been a little quicker? The power from God alone surely should’ve been enough—to be able to move with the speed of thought, with the power of a thousand men, in one swoop of a wing—yet it hadn’t been enough.

Jonathan immediately enjoyed Riley from the first day he entered Allison’s life. He loved the way Riley treated his beloved Allison—always being sweet and kind to her no matter what life had thrown at them. Watching the two of them fall in love and stand by each other through it all was a blessing. If opposites really did attract, then they were the prime example. She was outgoing, where he was not. Where she excelled in sports, academics, and seemed to be able to juggle everything with ease, he was business-savvy and able to repair anything mechanical. Together they made the perfect combination of how life and love were supposed to be mixed together. Jonathan would stay for as long as he could. Nothing was more important than staying here for his other human, the one Allison had loved so deeply.

Moving closer to Riley, Jonathan saw how fragile he had become. He studied him—his brown hair, light-colored skin and the blood-stained tux he wore. Riley was doing his best to hold it together, not screaming and demanding for someone to give him an update. Jonathan placed his hand on Riley’s shoulder, willing a sense of peace to flow into Riley like a running stream. However, the peace was rejected, and where love and patience once abided, now hate and pent-up anger bit his hand, causing him to release his hold.

Jonathan heard a woman’s voice behind him. “He’s hurting, Jonathan.” He turned to see who she was talking to and was shocked when he realized she was directing her words toward him. How could she see him? Babies could see him, and small children if he wanted them to, but not adults.

“I know what you’re thinking,” she said, interrupting his thoughts. “You’re wondering how I know you’re there. Well, that’s a story for another day. I know how much you loved Allison, but she’s gone now. Have you decided what you’re going to do next?”

Still amazed that this woman could see him, Jonathan looked down at the elderly black woman. Although she was small in size, she had an aura about her that commanded attention. As if everyone in a room would turn to her for guidance hanging on every word that she spoke.

“You could let things transpire as they will and move on to your next assignment,” she continued. “There’s nothing wrong with that. There will be another to take your place and help this human through these trying times. Or, you could choose to fall, as others have done, and be the one to protect Riley the rest of his days, staying by his side instead of being assigned as someone else’s guardian angel. However, you know that means you can’t go back until God comes to get His children. You will never be able to serve as another’s guardian, even long after this human passes on.”

He had heard of angels falling before, to stay with their human, but the human lifespan was so short that it seemed a waste. He had been doing this for only a short time, just since he was assigned as Allison’s guardian angel. Was he ready to become a fallen, to serve as Riley’s protector on Earth? There would be so much he would have to give up.

Every time a baby is born, an angel is created. As soon as they are spoken into life by God the Father, they know exactly what they are to do and whom they are to protect and help guide for the rest of that human’s life. Once the human passes on, they help welcome them into Heaven. If the human was a nonbeliever then the guardian has to say goodbye. No matter how much they wanted to give their life so that their human never had to touch the fires of hell, Lucifer had made this rule, since he had invested himself throughout the nonbeliever’s life, poisoning their thoughts and sculpting the way he wanted them to be.

Nonbelievers and believers had their own guardian angel, until their life moved on from this existence into the next. Then the angel was given a choice to either spend their time worshipping in Heaven or moving on to their next assignment as a guardian to someone new.

“It’s not a waste, Jonathan, but it is your choice,” the woman said. “After Riley is gone, years from now, you will find other ways to help people. I do it by working in this hospital. I like to be on this level with people so I can help them through their trying times. Still, this is your choice, friend, and I will pray for you. But know that Riley is going to be put through trials. Someone, whose name I will not speak, is coming for him.”

“How do you know this? What trials will Riley be forced to endure?”

“I know because I was once someone’s guardian angel. I had the same decision to make that is now presented to you. The trials are always different so I have no way to tell you exactly what to be prepared for. Just know that they will bring great pain. Not only to Riley, but to you as well, if you fail in protecting him.”

Even though Jonathan was new to being a guardian angel, since watching over Allison was his first assignment, he felt that he could trust this woman. Just as she was just about to walk away, Jonathan asked one more question.

“What is your name, guardian?”

She now smiled at him, as if she hadn’t been called by that in such a long time.

“I don’t feel as if my real name holds any value anymore.” A pained expression passed over her for a second, and then just as quickly as it came, it was gone. “Just call me Granny. It’s a nickname that others have given me in my role at the hospital. One that I have learned to love.”

Giving him one last smile, she turned and went to Riley, Jonathan let his thoughts take him to Allison’s room. Standing next to her bed, he reached out and took both her hands in his. “I’m sorry, beautiful. I will forever be so sorry for not being able to do more for you, but because of how much I love you, I will look after Riley for you, and although I won’t be there to welcome you into Heaven, there will be plenty of others there. They will take you in with open arms. God the Father is there, waiting for you. I would gladly do it all over again with you, even if the result was the same. I’m so proud of the woman you have become and to have been your guardian. I want you to know that it gave me great joy for you to have been my first, and last, to protect.”

He leaned down and kissed Allison, then he let his thoughts take him outside the hospital.

Standing there, looking at the hospital, knowing that inside this building there was both hope and pain, Jonathan shook his head and walked away. He wasn’t sure what to do next, so he walked at a slow pace that matched his heavy mood. I have to go through with this. I made a promise to my sweet Allison and must go through with this.

Suddenly a feeling of urgency came over him as if time was of the essence. His thoughts took him to the clouds above the city. Standing atop them, he looked out across the beautiful scene of the city, lit up at night. If he were to become a fallen, he would have to give up many of his abilities, including his beautiful, but battered, wings. He would never be asked by God the Father to watch over another of His children as a guardian. What scared him most, though, despite what the future held, was that he would lose his powers—not all, at least, but most. The trials that were coming for Riley would cause Jonathan to taste death, bleed, and breathe air for the first time.

Stretching his wings out, adjacent to his body, he looked at them and thought of all that they meant to him. Over six feet in length, the feathers that at once could be as soft as a silky, smooth cloth could also be resistant to anything that might be hurled his way by any of the demons who, in the past, had tried to tempt and lure his precious Allison.

Enveloping his wings around him so that he could feel the warmth of the feathers, Jonathan breathed in deep the smell carried upon them—the wind of the open road mixed with the smell of meadows after the last drop of rain. This would be the last time this scent would fill his nostrils. Stretching them out once more, he took in their beauty. Others might look upon them and see the flaws of countless battles, the tattered wings, the ruffled edges that would never run smooth again, but he also saw the complexity of what they meant to him—would always mean to him. It was like gazing upon the most beautiful sunrise and realizing that it was the last one you would ever see.

Kneeling down and closing his eyes, he spoke to God. “Thank you for it all, this short time I have been a guardian. I will always serve you. I did not come to this decision lightly, and with your permission I would like to embark on serving the human, Riley Smith, in these troubling hours, and walk with him for as long as he will allow me. I love you, Father. Please grant me this.”

Ending his prayer with an Amen, Jonathan found himself starting to slip from the clouds. A hard crack of thunder echoed off the ground, the ground his feet would soon touch for the first time. As the ground came closer and closer, he did not fear the fall or the impact. Fear was never a factor the entire time he was a guardian watching over his Allison, but now the fear of the unknown began to drip into his thoughts. He didn’t know what he was to do next.

Jonathan had always known what he was supposed to do from the beginning to the end of each and every day in Allison’s life. But the unknown—not knowing if Riley would accept him and how he would comprehend all this—was absolutely terrifying. With that last thought consuming him, the ground that seemed to be so far away was now right beneath his feet. He closed his eyes and waited for the impact. Ten seconds seemed to go by, then twenty, until finally a minute seemed to have come and gone.

Opening his eyes, Jonathan found himself kneeling on the ground, his fingertips touching the cold surface and the rain pelting off his back. He felt his back muscles tense to spread his wings, but there was nothing there. The space that once bore them was now empty. The weight and meaning that they carried were no longer of any importance. It was the payment he must make for being allowed to help his new friend, Riley—that is, if Riley would have him. But the loss of Allison was deeper than words could describe.