Hidden Under the Rain

Chapter 6: The Last Meeting（6）

The first raindrop hit the window with a dull thud. Then the second, the third, countless more. Soon the window was blurred by rain, the locust trees outside reduced to green shadows.

"But I stopped hating you," I said.

Gu Shen opened his eyes.

They were red-rimmed.

I had known Gu Shen for nine years, from freshman year until now. I had only seen him cry twice. Once when his grandfather died, he knelt before the mourning hall, tears falling silently to the ground. The other time was the day we broke up. He stood with his back to me for a long time, then turned around, his eyes red as a rabbit's, said "I'm sorry," and left without looking back.

Now, the third time.

"Why did you stop?" His voice was hoarse.

I looked at his red-rimmed eyes and felt something clog my throat.

Why did I stop hating?

Because hating was too exhausting. Because hating someone meant repeatedly remembering those painful moments, repeatedly chewing on those hurtful details, repeatedly replaying that heartbreaking scene in your mind. And I no longer had the strength.

There was another reason.

"I got married," I said.

Gu Shen froze completely.

In that instant, his expression was like a shattered mirror. It didn't shatter all at once. First, a crack appeared in the middle, then slowly spread in all directions, until the whole thing collapsed. His lips parted slightly but made no sound. Then he lowered his head and covered his forehead with his palm.

The café was incredibly quiet. Only the sound of rain, rustling rustling rustling, like countless silkworms gnawing on mulberry leaves.

"When?" His voice was muffled.

"Three years ago."

"Is he good to you?"

"Very good."

Gu Shen was silent for a long time.

The rain grew heavier, the sky completely dark. The café lights came on. The warm yellow light fell on Gu Shen, stretching his shadow long and far, reaching to the wall behind him covered with yellowed photographs.

"That's good," he finally said.

Two words, light and airy, like the last leaf of autumn falling from a branch, landing on the ground with a sigh so quiet it was almost inaudible.

I don't know why, but those two words hurt me more than anything he had ever said.

"I have a daughter," I said, my voice trembling. "She's almost one. Her nickname is Nian Nian. Like 'Nian Nian Bu Wang'—'never forget.'"

Gu Shen looked up.

There were tears in his eyes, but they didn't fall. That was who he was. Forever proud, forever unwilling to let anyone see his vulnerability. Even at a time like this, he would swallow all his heartache and swallow it down with a blank face.

"Nian Nian," he repeated the name, and the corner of his mouth finally curved, giving the first genuine, warm expression of the day. "That's a nice name."

The wind chimes rang.