The Logical (Wo)Man

Speculation and Inhibition

Sia’s  Point Of View

Shopping was the worst idea ever. I shouldn’t have went inside that Wedding Lehenga Store at all. I was almost in tears, wearing that Lehenga on Shouranya’s continuous pleading  when that man suddenly came up to me from like no-where.

I met Joey in front of Orbit as planned and we just started with a bit of window shopping, when we heard Shouranya calling out our names. She was a school friend of my BFF and I had hired her for my wedding which fortunately didn’t happen. She became a good friend of mine gradually and supported me when I was going through the post break-up trauma. I knew she had her wedding in less than a month but had no idea that she would be here for buying her Wedding Lehenga.

She sought our help to choose options for her as she got confused. Do all girls feel the same way when they buy their D-Day dress? I guess so.

“Oh my God I can’t believe I’ve met you girls!..” Shouranya hugged each of us.

“I am so confused. Darlos please help me with this..Please please..”

“Sure babe..” Joey chirped.

She insisted me and Joey to try some of the dresses too as she would get an idea (I don’t know as of what). Honestly, I started to feel low as soon as I entered that store.

As I was trying out one of their Day time collections, with light jewelry, standing in front of a huge mirror outside the changing room, I felt a deep emotion clouding my eyes. I didn’t want to go back and relive those days ever. As my mind was gradually immersing in the pool of sadness, I felt someone’s hands on my shoulders.

At first I thought it was Joey or Shouranya, but I looked into the mirror to see a deep set of eyes, sharp nose, full lips, light stubble faced man looking at me with an awestruck expression. I know what kind of expression men have when they stare at me, but there was something more to it. This man, seemed totally moonstruck in admiration.

Weird part was I couldn’t cut the eye contact too. He was almost 6 feet, well built and muscular ,wearing an expensive suit. He looked like one of those high-level Corporate Personalities, perfectionist at heart.

Then I could hear him murmur something. The word was “Beautiful” I guess.

I felt quite awkward as Shouranya approached us. We were introduced and I just wanted to fly away in embarrassment. And this man, Shouryajit Datta, was not letting me go. Was something wrong with him? or was it me?

Although he was not a pervert as confirmed by my trained instincts, yet he held my palm in a tight grip. I felt the warmth of his hands, like hugging someone close on a cold winter night . It felt homely. The long forgotten emotions recurred in my mind, which I kept buried for quite sometime.

I had to go away, away from him, away from these emotions, away from everyone. I cannot let myself get smashed to the ground for the second time.

As soon as my hand got free, I rushed into the changing room. I quickly changed, found Joey and told her that I wanted to leave.

“I understand babe and I am sorry” Joey apologized.

“Don’t say that darlo, it’s not your fault.” I said with a broken voice.

“Let’s go”

I felt relieved after we left the store. I am never going to go to Shouranya’s wedding. Though she was a good friend and I liked her very much but I can’t allow the source of deep emotions near me anymore.

Maybe my mind knows that it may have found the one, but my heart fears of being broken again. It’s somewhat like getting hurt on the same place repeatedly.

I skipped lunch and wanted to go back. Joey was really understanding and she dropped me home. I found my brother Shantanu glued to the sofa watching his favourite Comedy show on TV. I sat with him for sometime and watched the show. It changed my mood to a great extent.

That night, when I tried to sleep, my mind was still there at Mahi’s, replaying the moment of that warm hand wrapping my palm. The feeling was quite unusual as it never felt like that with my ex. I know I should not be comparing or even thinking about all this, but I was helpless as those moments at the store, started re-playing in my mind.

Surprisingly , a complete stranger held me by my shoulders and I didn’t twitch. It was like my senses, body and instincts were pre-programmed to be accustomed to his touch. I felt at home with a person whom I didn’t even know 5 minutes before. And this was happening to me for the first time. A soulmate? No, it can’t be. Oh God please give me the strength to bear all this. I feared that it must be one-sided and I may end up hurting myself badly. But suddenly his warm soothing face appeared in my mind I drifted off to sleep.