The Forgotten mate

Now(7)

I snapped awake with the sudden unpleasant sensation in my stomach. I leapt to my feet and sprinted clumsily to the bathroom, flinging myself down to my knees and instantly vomited into the toilet. I pushed myself back up to sitting pulling my hair back from my sticky forehead and tied it back in a quick ponytail. I leaned back against the bathtub, the porcelain cool against my hot, sweaty skin. I frowned rubbing my head. What on earth had happened to me? I must have eaten something dodgy. Hardly surprising I had been forced into cooking. That was always a dodgy option. Maybe that was why I stayed working as a waitress for so long, free food. I couldn't have cared less to have been fired though. I honestly hated that job: the long hours on my feet, the lousy tips, people clicking their fingers at me like I was a puppy or something. I love my Grandma even though she wasn't exactly an easy person to love, and she needed me but to be honest, I was glad to have an out. My life had not exactly contained anything I would regret losing. I was fired from a job I hated, so I couldn't afford my pokey studio apartment. I had a small group of friends but nobody romantic. My dating life. Wow, the less said about that the better. I had overall a pretty unsuccessful life and, f**k my love life was the least successful area of all, I was always "my single friend Sarah". Hell, my friends had stopped even adding plus ones to my wedding invites as it seemed mocking. I didn't seem to meet people well. Not true, I met men. Sometimes I liked them and even became fond of them, but that was pretty much it. The idea of becoming romantically attached just seemed wrong. I had tried relationships with women too and though these were fun, I still suffered the same problems in actually sustaining a relationship. I just didn't want to. It didn't seem like they were the one for me ever. I wondered vaguely if I was Asexual or something. My libido seemed pretty dormant, but I felt something. I felt some sort of yearning. I was yearning for something but just something I couldn't find. Deep down I knew any of my relationships however brief I had never invested anything in them. I am 26 now and, if I was honest, I have to admit I had never been in love, not even close. Without warning, a face popped into my head. It was beautiful, there was something indescribable about him, he looked like someone who could hold you so softly, but there was clearly a dark powerful power within him, a power that seemed to be hiding there under the thinnest veneer. In this image he wasn't looking at me with confusion or anger like I had seen him before. He was smiling and f**k it made him even more beautiful. I frowned as even though I had my head down a toilet bowl, the simple thought of his face , his smile was awakening something in me. Bizarrely, this image was making me grow wet. Who the f**k was he? Why did I want him? I didn't even know him and he didnt know me, but f**k there was something about him. I leaned over the toilet again as another round of nausea hit me. I was shaking by the time I reemerged. My stomach was clenching painfully, I felt as if somebody was tearing at my insides. I groaned as the wave of nausea hit me again. There was a tapping at the door,

'Sarah, Sarah are you ill?'

'No I'm fine.' I said as cheerfully as I could manage with my head in a toilet bowl.

‘You don't seem it.’ Norma said harshly,

‘No, I’m fine, it's just the danger of my cooking.’

‘Mmmm’ Norma said clearly, not convinced, ‘ nothing to do with that boy, I hope.’

‘What boy?’ I said, though I knew full well who she was talking about, but she was the only person who would call the man I met this morning as a boy.

‘Don't play with me Sarah. I know I'm old, but I'm not blind or stupid. You young people seem to think us both.’

‘I’ll remember that.’ i mumbled,

‘You need to have your guard up around that one. He’s dangerous.’

‘He…he says he knows me but I …I don't even remember him Norma, nothing. But he seems so sure and there is something, something I don't know. It's more like something I almost know, something just out of…’

‘You met him.’ Norma interrupted my musings,

‘ I did.’ I said, frowning, ‘ I don't remember him.’

‘I think he had a little bit of a crush on you, but I know too much about him to allow that, and he knows it.’

‘That's it?’ I frowned, ‘a crush I don't remember him at all.’

‘Well, it's probably for the best. Remember to be on your guard with him. He is not one to be trusted.’

‘Noted.’ I said as another wave of nausea swept through me and my head disappeared down the toilet bowl again. ‘Grandma.’ I muttered weakly, lifting my head, ‘what's his name?’

‘ Dean.’ she said simply.

‘Dean.’ I whispered, feeling myself becoming wetter from the sound of his name. I felt myself tremble as my stomach twisted and I collapsed down on the cold tile of the bathroom floor.