IF: Life and Death

Chapter 10: The Fleeting Image of a Childhood Memory

The Fleeting Image of a Childhood MemoryThat day as Leo opens his eyes and welcomes the first ray of sunlight peeking through the thick clouds overhead, he suddenly wonders one thing.

Did he ever get the chance to grow up?

The sky that was still dark thirty minutes earlier is now filled with variants of yellow that soon reveals the canopy of blue. The ocean above shows itself and the morning brings yet another day.

But does it still matter?

It's his eleventh day as a meandering soul that still doesn't know his reasons or even what his purpose are. It's his eleventh day and everything is just sinking in, overwhelming him.

All he knows is that it's easier to put things this way: his time stopped while everyone else's move on without him.

"Leo?" he hears Eyrin calls in a hush tone. He sighs and pulls himself up from lying down on the roof. He spends the sky another glance and a tear escapes from his eye. It happens faster than he can notice it but he knows what he felt but he likes to keep it to himself. He brushed the thought off and with another sigh, his frown turns into a dimpled grin.

"Next time you miss me, try to be subtle about it," he teases as he gets in through the open window. "Good morning," he adds but Eyrin is too busy tying her uncombed hair to a knot to utter a single reply. He wonders why his charm doesn't work on her but just decides to shrug it off.

"So who's gonna be our next soul?"

Eyrin thought that since they were able to get one soul yesterday, it wold be like that in the remaining days. All her hopes are turned down when another supervisor meets them in the college cafeteria during lunch time.

His name is Brent. Unlike Allen who's all about work and nothing else, Brent talks too much. He talks about how there's a lot of reapers out there and that Death is the CEO, the Brent and Allen including the other three are the supervisors, and the five of them extend their management to a multitude of leaders and collectors around the world.

"Why do you need substitute soul collectors? Where are the original ones?" Eyrin inquires. She's wearing a pair of earphones so she can talk freely and so everyone around her won't feel weird about it.

Brent just smiles. "You'll know it in time. Try not to think about it so much."

Eyrin is not convinced. How can she put herself in so much trouble with things she know nothing about. She's not even in the corporate job world yet but she already knows what it feels like to be controlled. However, she shrugs it off and decided to save it for later. Maybe she'll ask Death himself.

"I don't know if Allen already explains to you but you're not supposed to reap souls, not that you can though, but you know what I mean," Brent speaks and this time Eyrin and Leo pay attention. At least they deserve to know something more about their job.

"After the reapers cut the tie between a soul and a mortal body, a soul is allowed to wander around for forty days, to complete their final task."

Eyrin suddenly remembers what they did after her grandmom passed away. On her forty days they prepared a feast and a group of people prayed for her soul. Her mother told her it was necessary for a soul to safely crossover to the other side.

Brent validated that belief but he clarifies that with or without prayers, a soul should give in at the end of the 40th day.

"What happens when they don't?" Leo asks.

"In a day they'd feel thirst and hunger they would never learn to contain. These feelings could only be pacified with the help of a fresh soul: those who just died. You know what I mean, I'm sure," Allen explains so casually.

The two of them definitely is shook about the information. Eyrin's throat has dried out and Leo's face expresses how he's having a hard time trying to take it in. "Bad souls eat good souls?"

Brent nods. "Overdue souls become Rippers eventually. The longer they stayed "uncollected" the stronger they get."

"What are we supposed to do when we found one?" Leo's hand forms into a fist. He's getting nervous from these things he and Eyrin suddenly jumped into.

"You're not supposed to do anything. We only assign 40 and 41 days old souls to you so whenever you found a Ripper or any soul not on your list," Brent's expression turns grim as black smoke starts to cover his existence, "Run." In the blink of an eye he vanished and a black note is left on the table.

Substitute soul collectors,

Let's level it up. Collect these five souls today and I'll give you a chance to ask two questions each. See you at midnight.

Brent

Eyrin then transfers the details on her notebook. It's not gonna be easy but at least there's one thing good about it. The souls on the list are in one location. That day they're going to Taguig.

Eyrin and Leo has never been in C5 before, ever. If only they'd known how bad the traffic was, they could have found a different way. The first four souls are the easiest to collect. The group is composed of a teacher, a security guard, a janitor, and a tricycle driver. They're all huddled in one place so it didn't took so long before they were able to collect them.

Turns out that group works in the city's state university and every lunch hour they'd meet in one spot at the guard house to talk about different things. They had a road accident the night they decided to go home together using their friend's tricycle. It was a gruesome death but Eyrin would rather not elaborate.

"So that's how we collect forty days old souls?" Leo keeps on holding and staring at his palm, amazed by his skull totem. Brent gave them this ensign of authority to help them sort good souls from band ones. "This made this job easier."

"Remember it only works on good ones," Eyrin explains, feeling awkward as their Uber driver keeps on looking at her through the rear view mirror. She has her earphones on though so she doesn't understand why the driver still feel weird about her talking out of nowhere.

"I hope this last soul is an easy one."

"It is but I don't think I'm ready for this." Eyrin's heaves a deep sigh. Leo asks why but she just brings out her notebook, refusing to let the words come out of her mouth.

Leo's the one who reads them loud enough but is only limited to the two of them. "He finds comfort from earth

as he lay down with his dog, the dirty rubble does not bother him. As he laughs his heart out of pure joy and content the wheels of the parked car..."

Leo stops as a lump forms on his throat. Eyrin is silently crying on the background. "As the wheels of the parked car that's concealing his presence start to roll, his voice is muffled as the tires move with him underneath. Only the dog's whimper is heard along with the sound of a broken skull."

The car stops at the entrance of Barangay Mangahan. None of them speaks as they venture their way down through the concrete stairs with uneven gaps on each step. Eyrin has never seen Leo that serious. They've been together for four days and the only time she sees his face blank was when they were confronted by Death. That time it's different. It's a mixture of sadness and guilt.

The road is not asphalt which makes it hard to walk their way to the location. It's a simple village. Houses are not that big and with the rubbles on the road it is as if they're on a provincial pueblo instead of a city's.

"We're here," Eyrin finally speaks as she stops in front a huge gate. It's an entrance to an industrial warehouse as it states on the signboard hanging loosely from the wall. That's the first thing that reminds them that they're still in a city.

A retriever is lying straight on the ground, its paws under its chin, nose sticking to the bunch of flowers left by people who care.

Isaac Ferrer, 4.

The way the dog looks at the picture of his best friend smiling as the lay down the wooden bridge of their favourite place in Tarlac, it breaks their hearts. The retriever stays still. Even if the factory workers try to shoo it away as it's on their way, the dog refuses to budge.

"Isaac Ferrer." Leo finally starts to realise prolonging things will only make it harder.

From one of the candles lit beside the kid's picture frame comes a glowing ball of flickering light. It shines brighter and brighter until soon enough the figure of the kid they're looking for shows up, smiling innocently at them.

Leo crouches and smiles back at the kid. " Are you Isaac?" he asks. The kid takes a step back and sucks his own thumb. He's too hesitant to talk to strangers at first but after a few moments of silence, he answers with a nod and coy M-sound.

Leo looks at Eyrin. Her face is flustered, eyes bloodshot. She shakes her head and refuses to do it that time. Leo then averts his gaze to the child.

Isaac, a little less hesitant, inches closer and touches Leo's cheek. The kid smiles. "You can see see me and I can touch you." Isaac moves closer and closer until he's close enough to play with Leo's messy hair. "Are you my guardian angels?" The kid giggles. Looking at his face, Leo can't help himself but imagine how terrified the kid must have felt as everything slows down and the tire of an eight-wheeler truck runs over his face.

He remembers that night when world turned its back towards him. He remembers how slowly he falls to the ground and the only thing he could latch on is the hope that the stars above the city jungle could see him that time everyone else could not.

"I see you," he whispers and when the kid does not hear it Leo ruffles Isaac's hair. "Know that you are found."

From playing with Leo's hair, noticing how Eyrin is just being quiet, the kid tugs the hem of her shirt and asks her this time. "Am I dead?"

Eyrin takes a moment before she can answer, "Y-yes," she says pushing down the lump on her throat.

The kid smiles and Eyrin can swear her heart just stopped.

"I'm a grown up then! Just like you!Mommy said grown ups go to heaven. Are we going to heaven?" The kid giggles, looking at Eyrin, waiting for an answer.

Eyrin cannot hold it back. She succumbs to the pain and hides behind Leo so the kid won't see how broken one can be when dealing with death.

"Yes, you are," Leo's the one who answers.

"What about you? Aren't you a grown up yet? Didn't you wish to be a grown up?" the kid bombards him with curious questions, smile still evident on his face.

"Maybe later? I did wish to be a grown up when I was a kid. It just happened so fast I didn't even realize it," Leo answers but it's more likely that he's talking to himself.

"Hmm." The kid is confused. " So are you dead yet?" he asks knowingly dwelling into the topic.

Leo finds humor in the kid's innocence. "Yes, I am though I'm not ready to go anywhere else yet," he lifts the kid up and places a kiss on his forehead, "but you are."

He ruffles the kid's hair again but this time, he uses his hand with the skull mark on it. Isaac, with his body glowing, giggles as he is amazed by everything that's happening. His body is soon covered with light and it gradually fades until nothing is there except the lingering pain he sure left behind.

"What does it really mean to grow up?" Leo asks himself as they take their way out of the place. "Did I even get the chance to grow up?"

Whatever indication there may be he sure knows that it's not age that tells how grown up one can be. It's not about what part in life one is currently in. He thinks, maybe, that it's the time when one is finally ready to look behind and let go of little things that make a child.

If that's the case, then no, he's not ready yet.

He's not prepared to leave everything behind.