IF: Life and Death

Chapter 3: She Sees Dead People

SHE SEES DEAD PEOPLE

Eyrin

Amanda's scolding voice reverberates inside Eyrin's ears as though her mom is just in the same room as her, when she's in fact in the kitchen two floors downstairs. The neighboring house across theirs is scraping the quiet with the banging of their karaoke and Eyrin is aware about the party's excessive lighting, penetrating through the thin yellow curtains of her small window, invading her personal space, but she can't do anything. No, not at that moment.

She can't even tell Amanda that she needs a couple more minutes before she can head down for dinner** couple more minutes to try and take it all in. She can't even wipe her face with her palms**** harsh like she always does, that she can feel her whole face peeling off*** even scream the words, "Can't you guys keep it down?", off her lungs.

Instead, the hand that's holding the computer mouse is trembling while the other is clamped on her mouth. Her eyes, showing horror, wide opened and still, just remained tethered to the on-play video on her laptop's screen. Though the AC in her room is on, prickles of sweat are streaming down her body but she doesn't even spend time wiping them dry.

The CCTV footage playing before her eyes is without any sound except the whooshing of the wind that's coming from her headphones to her ears and then back, but it is as if she can hear everything. It is as if she was there when that happened. It is as if she completely knows someone named Leo Hernandez personally for that rage towards those two criminals to build inside her.

But she realizes she doesn't have to know him or even be close to him to feel that way. She may not say it aloud but her mind is screaming that he did not deserve that; that he did not deserve to be plunged by a knife not once but eighteen times; that he did not deserve to be ignored by those cars passing by; and that he did not deserve to die. She may not know it but tears are already dripping off her eyes and the more she tries to hold it back, the more they just fall down.

"How many times do I have to call you, Eyrin?"

Everything moves in sync. The door opens and her head turns to face her mom who is undeniably shocked to see the depressed look on her face. The air is calm for a moment, like the stirring pain Eyrin feels, that is begging to be vented out.

"Oh my god, honey, what happened?" Amanda asks as she rushes towards her daughter, kneels and pulls her into the tightest hug. Eyrin can sniff the miasma of spirits of various foods in Amanda's apron and she usually always has side remarks about all unpleasant things, but that time, she stays quiet, holding her tears back.

But there's nothing that's as comfortable as a mother's hug and it doesn't take any moment longer before she succumbs to that pang of pain.

Amanda doesn't have to ask why her daughter is bawling. Even her self-proclaimed strong heart yields upon seeing the monstrosity that's playing on loop in the computer screen. She taps the space bar on the keyboard, almost too weak but she manages to.

"Your friend?" she asks Eyrin who's now pulling away, still crying, but a little more quiet**** she just stays that way. There's no way she can say yes, Leo was her friend. She only knows his name and that's it.

She doubts anyone would claim they're someone's friend just because that someone is gone.

The next morning, La Vallè is still the way it is. The only difference is that*****, a lot. School is usually crowded and too noisy to claim a personal space but Eyrin still and always finds a certain place where she can be left alone, but that day everything feels too forced for normalcy.

"I'm sorry," she says, almost too hurriedly, picking up her books as fast as they cluttered on the floor.

"Eyrin?" She looks up, meeting the gaze of Kristel and as much as she hates it she's done it. She just bumps onto Kristel Samonte*** Vallè's very own gossip machine. "Eyrin, right?"

Eyrin groans as she gets to her feet, dusting off whatever there is. And Kristel. Hopefully. "Yes." The words come out so unnaturally she thinks Kristel almost doesn't buy the fake interest. But luckily for her she does.

"Great! I know you're a good friend of Leo Hernandez," Kristel starts.

Eyrin tries to cut her off and correct her but once Kristel starts talking she can't be stopped. Or at least no one would dare cut her off. "He's not my*"

"I mean, who else wouldn't be friends with that guy? He was very nice and not that he was gone, I," she stutters and Eyrin mentally cringes, "I'm sorry I think I'm gonna cry. I-I just miss him that much."

Moments later and they are surrounded by people who, like Kristel, talk too much. Eyrin is agitated. If the ground really swallows humiliated people, she wishes it does, at that exact minute.

"Are you okay?" People start to comfort Kristel. Other girls are hugging her while most are now crying as well.

"You and Leo must have had some memories you shared together," a girl says.

"We did. Actually we*"Kristel is a natural attention driver and not to mention she's loving it. Eyrin couldn't care less though. Even if she hates her stories and her search for sympathy, she takes advantage of that very moment to slip her way out of the crowd and go back to her personal bubble.

She's too concerned she might get caught by Kristel's eyes so even if she's sneaking her way out her gaze is still fixated to that toxic crowd, making her bump into something hard.

"Oh my god!" she shrieks and falls at the same time, her bum harshly meeting the concrete. Having caught twice in a day in a similar scenario makes her feel she's had it. It's as if she hasn't had enough humiliation not to mention the day is just starting. So with all the bravery inside her chest she decided she would speak up and tell that someone it's not okay. "Can't you watch where yo*"

"I'm sorry."

It's not as if she's intentionally cut off. They both utter words at the same time but Eyrin feels like shutting her mouth and letting Adrian Hernandez speak alone.

"His eyes are so dark I can get lost if I stare too much. His lips are so inviting I like him to just keep on talking."

Eyrin stays like that for another couple of moments, on the floor and things scattered around her. Adrian extends his hand to help Eyrin up but people are starting to crowd around them, led by Kristel, of course.

Eyrin just keeps her eyes glued to the guy not even bothering to reach for his hand. Adrian then tucks his head behind the shadows casted by the hood of his jacket. He turns on his heels but takes a couple of glances at the dumbfounded girl he just bumped onto before he decided to make his way out of the crowd.

"Isn't that Leo's brother?" A girl, who's holding Kristel's bag, tells her.

"Is he?" Kristel whispers, "What's his name?"

"I think it's Aidan or Adrian I'm not so sure," the girl whispers back.

"It's Adrian, stupid."

Kristel clears her throat and adjusts her tone so that everyone will be wary that it's her who's talking. "Oh my god, Adrian is going through a lot at this moment. Let him through everyone stop giving him a hard time," she says but her last words pertain to Eyrin who's just about to stand.

"You know her?"

"Who is he?"

"Adrian? As in Adrian Hernandez?"

"Is that Leo's brother?"

"How'd you know him?"

People are starting to build a wave of questions that's directed to Kristel but she doesn't seem to mind it at all. In fact, a smile plastered on her face and with pride she utters those words before she makes her exit, "That's right. Adrian is a good friend of mine. We're besties."

As soon as Kristel walks out of the spotlight, the crowd disperses as if nothing actually happened. Confusion washes over Eyrin as she picks up her things. She's just ran into a cute guy and that's not enough to cause a commotion. Or that's what she thought.

After seeing the vigil on Leo's locker and upon seeing Adrian acting composed despite the situation he's in, Eyrin decided to cut her last class and pay a visit instead to the wake of someone she barely knew.

Taft Avenue is still in its usual 5 pm state. PUV's and private cars honking horns at each other and people coughing one after another. The noise of the train overheard remains an indicator that the city is nowhere near taking a rest yet. Which means Eyrin has to go through that cloud of smoke, the smell of oil and sweat (and not to mention human piss) and the endless foot traffic, just to hop on the UV 15 minutes away from her.

By the time she takes a seat next to the UV driver, with another guy beside her, she's panting for her life. She's been dealing with the Taft battlefield for four years but she doesn't think she'll get used to everything that's in it. It kills. Literally. Just living to experience that same scenario everyday is enough to suck one's life away completely.

With the number of people that narrow avenue has, it's not surprising when not two minutes passed, the UV is all packed up and ready to go. It's nearing dark anyway and nearing dark means rush hour for people in Manila.

And like usual, heavy traffic is noticeable.

"Manong, have you heard?" a passenger sitting in the row next to where Eyrin is sitting asks the driver. "Totoo ba?" The guys persist, eager to find out the truth.

"What about?" the driver asks back, taking advantage of the traffic and using the rear view mirror to look at the guy he just spoke to.

"The UV ghost..?"

Everyone seems to be taken aback when the guy speaks of those words. The UV even took a momentary stop before the driver can compose himself and steps on the pedal again. Each of the passenger is looking at the guy like he has said something appalling but Eyrin is waiting for the driver's answer***** intrigued by it.

The man clears his throat, eyes fixated on the road, too hesitant to answer. Too much staring causes Eyrin to see how everything moves slowly for the driver. She can even trace the sweat rolling down on the driver's face, with just her eyes. Every second they spend in silence is also every second the sky is succumbing to nighttime.

The people are getting more and more agitated.

"Totoo." The driver confirms and the UV is filled with gushes and quiet curses.

"How'd you even know about that? T-there's no proof or anything." It has been said****** that can come out of the mouth of anyone who can deny as much as they can just to reject fear.

Everyone seems to agree with the other guy's remarks but not Eyrin. It even piqued her interest. It's been a long time since she heard another spooky story in Taft Avenue.

"The ghost is a young man in a school uniform, soaked in blood and is breathing heavily," the driver starts his story as the traffic starts to move slowly, "his bones are broken and his face is unrecognizable but no one will notice it if they don't spend time looking at it."

Gushes and then silence.

"Stop making up stories, manong," another passenger suggests and yet again, everyone agrees. Except for Eyrin of course.

"He's not lying," Eyrin confirms, harboring the attention of everyone, "I should know."

"And how is that?"

She lowers her hair and bites her lips, not totally wanting to utter the words, but she still did anyway.

"I can see them."