I'm a Fool For You

Chapter 5

The confetti and streamer cannon was set up, I'd managed to get inside without tripping the balloon net, the flowers were in place, I'd showered and no longer smelled and looked like death, and the pudding was in the refrigerator (that really is Mister J's favorite- pistachio, of course. I don't call him that for nothing). But something was still missing. It all needed one more thing to take it over the top.

A-HA!

What I needed was firecrackers. Maybe not big ones- that would probably set the house on fire or something- but those little fireworks you throw at the ground and they snap. I checked the clock. I had just enough time to get there and back before Mister J got home.

By now it was after noon, so it was lighter outside and it wasn't as scary, but of course it was so gross and smoggy it might as well have been night. There were more people around, but I just acted normal and nobody even noticed me.

I had a little trouble finding a fireworks store, since not many people set off fireworks in the middle of the city, I guess. I finally found one hidden in a dusty old alleyway. At least it looked like a firework store. The writing was in some foreign language, but it had a picture of a sparkler on it.

"Harley," A voice came out of nowhere behind me. I squawked and jumped straight up, twisting around at the same time.

A shape started forming out of the shadow behind some garbage cans.

Oh, plotz, I thought. It was Batman.

He went on mysteriously sweeping from the shadows as if I didn't already know he was there. I wasn't thinking about how cool and mysterious he looked, though.

How does he even hide in the shadows in broad daylight? There's only one shadow in this whole alley. How long has he been hiding behind those stinky garbage cans just so he could pop out? How did he even know I'd be here? Did he just pick a random fireworks store and stake it out?

By that time Batman was out of the shadows and just standing there looking at me disapprovingly. He looked pretty mad and I didn't want to make things worse, so I kept quiet.

"You've been all around Gotham today," He said.

"You've been spying on me?" I said. But I was so sneaky and disguised! I thought. "Don't you have bigger problems to worry about?"

"I've been monitoring that situation as well," He said curtly. Trust Batman to call something like Mister J running wild on his favorite day a "situation".

"You'd better watch out. It's Puddin's special day and he has something planned that will knock you dead!" I said.

"I've had enough trouble with that already," Batman sighed. "You wouldn't happen to know what else he's planning?"

I folded my arms and looked at him sulkily. "He wouldn't tell me," I said. "He said I can't keep a secret." Which is true, but I wouldn't tell stupid Batman. He doesn't scare me.

"Why don't you go bother someone else?" I said. "I have shopping to do."

"You've already told me the Joker has something planned and you're about to obtain explosives. And also you have 14 warrants for your arrest. You're not going anywhere."

That was unexpected, but I really should have seen it coming. When I thought about it, I was pretty notorious. But if I got arrested the party would be ruined!

"Can't you just pretend you didn't see me just this once?" I asked. "I didn't commit any crimes today," I said with my fingers crossed behind my back.

"Justice is justice," Batman said. And that's when I started to cry.

"BUT IT'S PUDDIN'S SPECIAL DAY!" I wailed. "I can't go to jail! I had everything planned and it was all perfect and YOU RUINED IT!" I sobbed brokenheartedly.

Batman didn't say anything for a minute. He looked at me like he'd broken me and he actually looked uncertain, which was something I'd never seen in him before. I, of course, was completely desolate and kept crying.

Batman rested his face in his hand and sighed. "Just get of here, Harley," He said tiredly. "Stay out of trouble, okay?" Then he swept up around the store corner and vanished.

I guess even Batman has a heart. After all, Mister J's special day only comes once a year. After he was gone, things didn't seem nearly so terrible and I was my perky self within minutes. I was nervous about buying the snappers since he did say to stay out of trouble, but I didn't want to make any trouble with them so I figured it was okay. I made sure to be very polite to the storekeeper and was a model citizen, though. Then I went home to make sure everything was ready and perfect for my Puddin'.