Fate in Captivity

Chapter 25- Knowing what you want

(Aubrey)

I am now here in my office, early as five in the morning, I sneaked in the building like I am not the owner and lie down on the couch. I cannot sleep the whole evening I stayed in that house, looks like I am  not used to it anymore and my body kept on searching for the comfort that living alone gave to me since then. I closed my eyes and let myself felt the comfort of my own office but of course, that peaceful and calm atmosphere that I am aiming won't actually come that fast. I heard someone entered the office across mine as I heard the unlocking sound of the door, I get up fast and slowly went by the door and silently opened the door as I peeked through it. I saw nothing, it was still a silent and peaceful hallway, the lights are still half closed and the employees are not yet here because of the time, normally, the time when the employees as well as me timed in was six in the morning. I was about to close the door when a foot was put in the gap between the door before it closes.

"Is this the reason why you had me come to work early?" I was surprised by his voice and he peeked through the gap with a huge smile on his face. 

"Shut up." I said and poked his forehead with my two fingers. 

"Aww! That hurts!" I heard him exclaimed and I just let him enter my office. 

"Why did you do that?" he asked as he was still rubbing his forehead. 

"How dare you moved like a robber?" I asked to him and sat on the couch. 

"I saw your lights were opened so I thought I should act like someone is here." he answered and shrugged his shoulders. 

"So, did you act like a robber because you think there is one here?" I asked while chuckling and he innocently nodded his head. 

"Stop laughing, I am not joking here." he said and I am still laughing hard. 

"Why are you here this early in the morning?" he asked and I tried to calm myself down. 

"I feel like I am not that comfortable with the house anymore." I answered and stood up. 

"Then, should have on our own now?" he nonchalantly asked and I am just staring at him. 

"What?" he mouthed and I just rolled my eyes. 

"I am a high maintenance woman, just to warn you." I said and smirked. 

"Don't worry I am all ready for it." he answered like he was really serious to move in with me. 

"Hmm, I don't think so." I said and slowly shaking my head. 

"Well, I think you should be the one to get ready." he suddenly said and his reaction changed. He slowly walked towards me and I got now the urge to evacuate, this is beyond dangerous, the two of us alone in this huge building, this is crazy. 

"What are you thinking about?" he asked and I just found myself closing my eyes waiting for him to do his move. 

"What do you mean?" I innocently asked and walked towards the couch holding my cup of coffee. 

"You closed your eyes." he said and I can see his signature smirk at me. 

"Huh? No, I did not do that." I answer as I calmly sipping my coffee with my legs closed. 

"You really won't back down, huh?" he asked and I just shrugged my shoulders. 

Damn you self! How could you close your eyes in a situation like that? Are you really waiting for him to kiss you or what? You are so embarrassing wimp! Are you collecting all humiliating moments? Do you want to display them one by one? You are such a wreck!

"Are you okay?" he asked and I snapped, I looked at him and smile. 

"Of course, why would I not be?" I answered and he started to laugh. 

"Right, why are you here at this hour?" I asked and stopped laughing. 

"What are you saying? You are the one who asked me to come early." he answered and I became confused. 

"Did you just really follow my words?" I asked and he nodded. I just let out a deep sigh and looked straight at him. 

"Do you really like me that much?"  I asked once again and smiled, this time a calm and genuine one. 

"You are dumb, you know that? Why of all women you met, you like me? You are crazy." I said to him and chuckles. 

"I just know what I really want, what I really like." he answered and I paused for a while. Do I really know what I like? a thought came in through my mind. Can I really answer that question confidently?

"You are confused, right?" he asked and I looked at him. 

"That is alright, I can wait. You don't have to feel pressure or something." he continued and smiled. 

"I know the idea." I suddenly mumbled unconsciously. 

"What?"

"I know the idea that I like someone, I know in myself that a person can make me smile, but I also know why I kept denying it to myself." I continued and he only acted like he was listening. 

"You don't trust that person." he suddenly answers. 

"You are unsure if that feeling could lasts longer than you could have expected." he said and I just nodded. He is definitely right, I just don't trust people. Why do I have to depend on them? My feelings, my emotions and even reactions, why do I have to get dependent by them? I can make myself happy and contented, why do I need them?

"People don't live alone." he said like he has been answering the questions in my mind. 

"But there are people who can." I insists and he chuckles. 

"They are just pretending to be contented, by inside of them, they want accompany, they want to escape the world of loneliness." he answered. 

"Then, have you already felt loneliness?" I asked quickly as he finished his sentence. 

"Of course, everyday, since that day and until right now, even if I know my real feeling towards her, she just kept on avoiding those feelings. I should have not done it. I must have explained my side, I must have chase her out- now, I am regretting all of it." he answered and it is not just a typical answer to a question. That are his feelings, his thoughts and even his subconscious- he is talking to me. 

"She already moved on, she finally removed that man from her thoughts and memories, why does he have to show up and ruin everything?" I did not know why I said those words. I am the type of person that hates to letting out her own thoughts. I don't want people loudly and clearly heard each words I wanted to say- I just tend to bottled up everything. 

"What if he did not showed up just to ruin something, he probably showed up to fix it, to change and put it back to its original state." he answered and he is not backing down anymore. A few laughs came out from my lips out of disbelief. 

"It won't happened. That woman already build up walls, no one could ever cross it." I answered and sat back on the couch. 

"But that man decided to crush and make a hole, not just to cross it. He is now ready for his ruin, he is now ready to sacrifice everything, he is now ready to reach for something he really likes. Would you blame him for wanting that end?" he asked and I became quiet. I don't know what to say, I don't know what words should I came up to defend myself, my own feelings. I know that he don't have the right to invalidate my feelings but now, I am hesitating, I am having another thinking and I am opposing my beliefs.

And I hate myself for feeling it that way.

"That man want to ask for another chance, he wanted to set everything right." Julius said and I saw his eyes, his brown dazzling eyes staring right straight at me. I felt weak and I felt feminine, this is not my personality. 

"Perhaps, the woman wanted to try it once more." I was surprised by the words I said, it is not a third person point of view anymore, I thought about it and I gave my decision. 

"Then, will you give me another chance?" he asked directly. 

"Second chances won't come that easy around, you have to earn it. I don't trust that easily, and I don't---" I cannot continue my words anymore as he was now hugging me, it was a split of time, he was only sitting across me but he flew and embraced his broad shoulders and arms on mine, looked like I cannot escape in this prison I just made seconds ago.

"I know and you won't regret it." he answered and I just smiled. I heard people are now coming one by one so I removed his embrace and went out of the office. I saw Aly walking towards the office while yawning. 

"Aubrey! Why are you here?" she exclaimed and I just smiled. 

"Justine had my room now, and I don't want to sleep beside her." I answered and she laughs. 

"Yeah, I know. How is that kid? Does she now knows how be a human?" Aly asked and I scoffed. 

"Unfortunately, until now, she is still a pig." I answered while shaking my head. 

"And she was using your room?" she asked and I nodded. 

"That was awful." she reacted the same way as I had.

"I know right, so I just come to work early than I usually had to." I answered. 

"Good morning, Aly!" Julius suddenly went out from my office and I got surprised. Aly paused for some minutes and exchanging the glances over me and Julius. 

"No, Aly, it is not what you think." I quickly said and looks like it worsen the situation we are in. 

"It is not what I think? Then, tell me Aubrey, what in the hell am I thinking right now?" she suddenly became irritated or frustrated and I cannot answer her question. 

"I know your situation, I know your history and I know what all happening now. But! I would still not accept his jerk for you, Aubrey! Heed my words or I am out of this company." she suddenly exclaimed and leave us alone. I looked at Julius and he was now scratching his head. 

"Looks like you should first court her before me." I said and followed Aly. 

"Aly! Why do you have to do that? He really just came to work early." I said to her like I am comforting her or something. 

"I don't care, witch. The fact that he came out of that office already gave me the idea that you already talked about everything. But still, my answer is no. Don't be so weak in front of a man, girl." she said and started to open her computer and laying the papers on her desk, getting ready for the day. 

I just let out a deep sigh and nodded at her, but she is not looking at me anymore. I was about to leave when she said something. 

"I told you to get your revenge and not being dumb." she said and I looked back on her. She is seriously looking at me now and one wrong move, she would throw me her keyboard. I nodded just to say I got it and quickly entered my office. I sat on my swivel chair and circling over it, I don't know now what to do, what to think and what to decide. Did I just hypnotized by his smooth talking skills? Ugh! I don't want stress but I kind of really want to give him a chance. Of course, Aly is right, she always have the point that is why I trusts her than myself.

But when can I really say that I know something I really want?!

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