Past Obsessions

Chapter 7- Alice

The way he drew that sentence out, I wasn’t sure if the waterfall had soaked me or his words. I had to fight back the moan that threatened to burst through, but the moment he said “Mine,” my body gave in, and I stumbled into him. His arm locked around my waist.

No man had ever made me c*m from words alone, but he had, and it wasn’t the first time. The effect he had on me was unreal. As I found myself again, I looked at him.

“What happened to 'we can’t'?” I managed to say between the rapid racing of my heart.

“Why are you still talking?” Again, a shudder ran down my spine. I hated him in that moment, the way his voice simply carved through my defences. I tried to muster my attitude, but every time I did, he simply shut me down, and my body overrode my brain.

I knew how this ended; I wanted it, needed it. He had always said we were never meant to last, yet I knew he was wrong. More to the point, I knew he knew he was wrong and was trying to keep me at a distance to protect his own fragile heart. That was the thing about Alex: the venom, the anger at the world, the bitterness—it was all a front. I’d learned that quickly.

He had two sides: venomous and bitter at the world, and with what he’d survived, I understood why. I had that same anger. Then there was the soft need to love, to protect with so much force it physically hurt us both. He was like the sun, that big fiery mix of chemicals that burned so bright and so hot you couldn’t get near it. I had—not only had I gotten near, but I had also touched the very surface, and he burned me up, together we had blazed a trail of love and madness.

My mind was suddenly forced back to reality as his hand caught my jaw, forcing my gaze to him as he stared into my eyes and I shuddered.

“Sorry, I’m cold and wet.” I regretted my choice of words.

“Doesn’t usually work that way,” he teased. I rolled my eyes, and he released my jaw.

“Shut up,” I said with a shake of my head and a smile. “You know what I meant.”

Alex looked at me for a few moments before he led me from the edge of the waterfall, his eyes running over my body as the dress clung to me so tightly it showed every curve. He pulled me close, kissing me, then stepped back. I could see the turmoil in his mind; he was questioning what came next. It was inevitable, and we both knew it, but he would fight all the same.

“Sorry, I don’t always think. You, me, it’s … complicated,” he stated. He was sincere, but I didn’t buy a word of it. I knew him better; he was giving me an out, and I wasn’t about to walk away now. As he led me back toward the car.

“You not thinking before you act, huh? You’re losing it, Alex,” I shot back. He yanked me closer, his arm wrapping around my waist, and kissed me again.

“Getting a little brave there,” he said, though he cut the sentence off. I could sense the fight in him, the same fight in me—to not fall into old patterns. It would be easy, but we wouldn’t survive whatever this was.

We reached the car, and I rested against it as Alex opened the trunk. I heard him shuffle around in there before I walked to join him. He had set the back seats down, and several blankets were now strewn out.

“You brought blankets?” My brow raised.

“No, they’re always here,” he shrugged.

“So you can f**k all those girls in the back, huh?” The look he gave me was dangerous; I felt it rip through me. I didn’t have to ask if he’d been with anyone else; I knew the answer.

“My car is my freedom. I miss being able to just disappear. The difference is I don’t have to freeze my ass off in a tent, though I have one of those too.” He pointed to a huge backpack, one I knew. “But hey, you can stand out here and freeze or strip and climb in.”

He was already peeling off his sodden clothes and throwing them on the roof. What he intended to do with them was beyond me. I shrugged out of my jacket—it was wet, but the leather had mostly survived. The waterfall, however, had flooded down my back and soaked my dress. I pulled it off and climbed into the car, shuffling out of my underwear and throwing them at him.

“Any excuse,” I smirked.

He muttered something I missed, tossing my clothes onto the roof and closing the boot. It amused me that he was now standing outside naked as he walked to the door and climbed in with me, closing it behind himself. I had forgotten how good he looked, and somehow he looked better. Perhaps he’d been working out; his arms were more defined, and there were definite lines on his stomach. He had been an athlete in a former life, though I’d only seen him once. I shuddered, then looked to him with a smirk.

“It’s still cold,” I chuckled.

“Oh for f**k's sake,” he muttered and pushed the door open, climbing back out into the rain. He yanked down his pants, needing the car keys, and then tossed his jeans back on the roof before climbing back in. When he climbed between the seats, it took every bit of self-control I had not to touch him. My heart raced at his powerful frame; he wasn’t big, but he knew how to use every inch with an effect I had never known. It was like he’d read every book on women and intimately moulded that knowledge into a weapon that would never be matched.

The lights flickered, and the hum of the heating rushed into my ears. I felt the effects almost immediately as he slid back down and climbed under the blankets with me. It was there that the moment seemed to stand still. I knew what I wanted, and I sensed that he was waiting. It was odd to me; I had never seen him so uncertain of his actions. From the moment we met, he had always led, he had always guided. He had been so sure of himself, and as much as I hated to admit it, he had been right. We were supposed to be all fun with none of the mess, but that fell to pieces very quickly. I fell for him, but Alex had fallen far harder than he ever thought possible. Maybe it had scared him enough that he’d never let me back in. I wondered if he hated me for that? For opening up those dark corners no one else had ever seen, for allowing me into every corner of who he was.

As I stared into his cool blue eyes, I couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking at that moment. Whatever it was, it didn’t last long, and finally, he extended his arm, an act he’d done a thousand times, but the first time had thrown me. We’d had s*x, and then, unlike any man ever, he pulled me close and held me, a simple act, and yet in that, he’d proved himself different. My mind settled back to the moment and shifted closer, my head on his chest, my arm around his waist, leg thrown over his thigh, every stress, every panic, every worry melted away. I was home.