Past Obsessions

Chapter 5 - Alice

I watched her as she took in the view. A large part of me wanted to hold her, to let her know everything was going to be okay. But for some reason, I couldn’t bring myself to cross the four or so feet between us now. The rain was cold. As I observed her staring at the waterfall, I knew what was on her mind—something else she’d always wanted. That would be too far tonight though. I wondered for a moment, what really stopped me from claiming her right here and now?

She seemed to sway and move in the rain, enjoying the beauty laid out before us. I simply watched as she turned, her hair matted to her face from the rain as she smiled, a beautiful, big smile that lit up her whole face.

“Thank you,” she said softly.

"I made a promise, I delivered. You’re very welcome. We can stay as long as you like," I replied, my tone level and calm. I would allow her to lead. She stopped dancing and began moving toward me. My heart began thumping so loud it seemed as if I could hear it in my head. The closer she got, the harder it beat. I swore she could see where it hammered against my rib cage now. Finally, she stood just in front of me.

“I’m here,” she said, her tone carrying a challenge I knew well, one she used to challenge, dare, and push me.

“So enjoy it,” I replied. “Like I said, we can stay as long as you like.”

“There were two parts to this want though, did you forget?” she replied, her tone pushing me. My heart hammered harder, my body responded, and I knew I was losing ground. My mind raced for control.

“Nope,” I snapped back, biting off the emotion in my words. “But that was I’d kiss MY girl under the waterfall, so deep I’d take her breath away.”

I knew I’d got her with that as her eyes shifted back to the floor, and her shoulders slumped. My heart seemed to halt between beats as I felt the wave of sadness flood from her. "f**k it," I thought, as I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close. She melted into me, her arms around me, holding on tight. I could feel the strain in my pants, mentally growling at my own weakness. The truth was I wanted to take her right here and now, to remind her she was mine and mine alone, that I would take what I wanted and she would allow it. I wouldn’t, of course; that would be far too easy. As I held her, I drew in her scent. It tore through me in a moment, making the last year feel so short. Here she was in my arms once more.

She nestled against me tighter. I could feel her trembling now as I kissed her head out of instinct. “i***t,” I scolded. I heard a soft whimper escape her as she looked up at me.

“I’ve missed you,” she said sincerely. I knew that by the way it melted me almost immediately. Again, the wave of emotion slammed through me. I was going to break; I felt my eyes well slightly before I swallowed it down.

“We shouldn’t…” I didn’t finish as her lips met mine. Seconds later, I crushed back against hers. We kissed passionately in the rain, the roar of the water drowning us in its sounds. I groaned against her; I wanted her, and from the kiss, she wanted me. We separated, breathless for a moment.

My heart raced as I stared into her eyes. I could see the warmth and desire in those hazel eyes of hers, and I was sure the same was reflected in my own. As I watched her, she ran her hand over the front of me, and I pulled back. Again, she looked as if I’d just physically struck her.

“We can’t,” I repeated, no longer knowing who I was trying to convince.

“Why not?!” she snapped in frustration. “Have you gone off me? Am I not pretty enough now? Did I hurt you that bad?” Her mind raced, spilling her thoughts into the world.

“You’re the only girl I want, would ever want. I have been clear about that, but you can’t expect me to just jump you because you’re feeling low, or are single again. What would that make me?” I replied firmly. I could feel my temper boiling now.

“A real man,” she snapped back. “You drive me here, all song and dance about what a good man you are? Alex, you're not a good f*****g man, you’re an asshole, with a dark side so dangerous everyone else is terrified of you. I’m not! I’ve never been afraid of you. You can’t scare someone who wants it.” Her words came quick and sharp, her temper exploding in an instant. I knew this side well; she could go from calm to crazy in a heartbeat, her words razor sharp. Normally would remain calm and talk her down. But in that moment, I had no will to play nice.

As soon as the words left her mouth, I reacted, closing the gap and grabbing her throat. I dragged her back into a kiss so deep it caused her breath to catch. My eyes blazed with defiance as I glared at her.

“Really? You’re going to f*****g challenge me?” I growled, feeling her skin ripple with goosebumps. Her body trembled in my grasp. I remembered that from our first night—the fear in her eyes as I forced her onto the bed. She was right, she’d never been afraid of me, but I do remember how wet she was with the anticipation of that first time.

“Then shut me up!” she snapped back. Again, I kissed her before letting go and walking off along the shore. She screamed at me before storming after me. As she kept blocking my path, I’d sidestep and continue. She followed until I led her where I wanted her, stepping forward, causing her to step back, instantly both of us were hit by the torrent of water. Again, I kissed her, her arms snaked around my shoulders, both of us melting into the moment, both of us quickly soaked through to the bone. The water was bitingly cold, especially as it was winter and raining. As I stepped back, Alice blushed, looking at me.

“What happened to my girl?” she taunted.

“What makes you think you were ever not mine?” I stared at her in response.

“W… what?” I smiled as she tripped over her words. I liked having her uncomfortable; the power I held was always fun to wield, and I knew exactly how to make it count, though it seemed I still held that power over her.

“What,” my finger tipped her jaw. “Makes,” my eyes met hers. “You,” I stared deeply into those hazel eyes. “Think,” she trembled to my touch, “You,” I could see the fear now. “Were,” the moment seemed to hold forever. “Ever,” again my heart raced. “Not,” I could feel the moment now, intimate, intense, desperate. “Mine,” I finished.