Past Obsessions

Chapter 19 - Alice

Dinner was thankfully over. God, I hated this place. As much as I appreciated the effort James put into it, I disliked rich food, and choosing from the menu was a nightmare. I could feel the panic and anxiety rise every single time. James would try to push me to try various different dishes, but I just didn’t want to. I enjoyed the pasta here, but that was it. The restaurant was also busy tonight, which only added to the anxiety that ripped at me.

"Eat what you're comfortable with, princess. f**k what anyone else thinks," Alex's words from the first time we'd gone to a 'restaurant' for dinner. It wasn’t really a restaurant; it was a pub that served food. He also tried to get me to try tequila, but no, that wasn’t happening. He’d had both shots and, shockingly, they bounced off him. All that talk about how brutal tequila was, and yet two shots later, he was as sober as a judge!

Tonight will be a long night. We were going to see a show at the theatre, something I’d wanted to see for a while. Though in truth, James wasn’t the one I wanted with me. He just didn’t understand that excitement. It seemed to be a frustrating pattern of the men in my life not quite grasping what I wanted or needed.

I followed him, his hand in mine, though tonight even that felt awkward. And I swore I could see that f*****g silver 4x4 following us. Was he really following me? Perhaps for the first time, I hoped so. But then again, I hadn’t seen him since our encounter in the electronics shop. Alex had, for all intents and purposes, faded from my life again. That thought admittedly made me sad; I had, of course, begun to question leaving him again. My own fears of that man were enough to cloud my judgment.

The show was fantastic, and I left feeling much better. Stepping into the cool city air, my arm around James's, we walked for a little bit before heading into the bar. He smiled at a few men, shook their hands, and then led me to the bar.

“A pink gin and lemonade and a pint of stout,” he ordered. I never could wrap my brain around why he’d drink something so nasty, but if he drank, he’d be too hammered to bother me, and I liked that. I had, in truth, begun to actively avoid sleeping with James. Not because the s*x was bad—it was—but because the longer it went on, the more I hated the idea of it being anyone but Alex, and I had made sure that was no longer possible.

Again, a flicker in my peripheral vision, that dark, powerful frame of his, just for a second, gone by the time I tracked where it came from.

The longer the night went on, the more anxious I got. I could also feel his presence, that powerful presence, like a predator just waiting to strike from the shadows. Was he really there? Or was it just me wishing he was? Every time I looked, I couldn’t see him. Finally, we left the bar. Socially, I was done and needed to go home to hide. My mind was so preoccupied with things that I didn’t notice as James led me down the alley at the back of the bar. My awareness was ripped back to reality as he suddenly grabbed me, kissing me with far more force than I was used to. It was enough to send a wave of panic tearing through me as I stared at him

“Come on, babe. I’m horny,” he drawled. I'd be surprised if he could get it up in the state he was in. I hated alcoholics, and though he didn’t get drunk that often, tonight he’d overdone it.

“I’m not in the mood,” I replied firmly, extracting myself from him. I tried to walk away, deciding I would get a taxi and go home alone.

“God, and everyone said you're f*****g easy,” he shot me a glare. Everyone? Who exactly? It actually stung. He was drunk; I could let it slide.

“I said no! James, go home, you're drunk,” I snapped, annoyed now by his actions. Ultimately, he was just another f*****g asshole. I was stunned when he grabbed me, slamming me into the wall hard enough to drive the breath from my lungs, catching and gasping. I felt him trying to get his hands between my legs, which I clamped shut. God, I wanted to scream. I couldn’t, I froze, my breath still caught from being winded and yet the terror of him as well.

I wanted to plead for him to stop, but I knew he wouldn’t. I wanted him to stop, no sooner had the thought finished than he yelped, and his grip on me suddenly released. I slid down the wall, my brain in a haze.

“Can you not f*****g take no as a hint?” That voice? Did my heart just skip a beat? Did it flutter? Was it?

“Who are you? Get your hands off me, dickhead,” I looked up to see James pinned to the opposite wall, his arm twisted up his back so hard I swore it was about to break. I kinda hoped it did.

“You’ve got your hands on my girl, so I don’t f*****g think so. She said no, so walk away or I’ll make sure you never f*****g walk again,” the viciousness in those words. Wait, my girl. “Focus, Alice,” I told myself. I closed my eyes tight, the tightness in my chest easing as I gulped down precious air. Then I opened them, and as my vision cleared, I saw him: all six feet of him, leather jacket, long hair, Alex! I had never breathed a sigh of relief so thankful in my life.

James squirmed, only for Alex to twist his arm harder, causing James to cry out. He let him go, and James threw a punch. Alex ducked and slammed him back into the wall with enough force, his arm across his throat, I could only imagine the glare in his eyes. It was enough that James knew better than to retaliate a second time. He stumbled out of the alley.

Alex turned, and I saw it—just for a moment, that white-hot rage, blazing, dark, dangerous, violent. He was in no mood tonight. I’d seen this side before, and it never ended well for the other person. But as he moved toward me, offering his hand, it melted away. Without resistance, I took it.