My Ex’s Uncle My Boss and My Lover

Today,I Begin Again

The first morning in Eastbridge doesn’t smell like home.

It smells like exhaust fumes, burnt bagels, and the faint hope of starting over.

I pull the motel curtains apart and squint at the city that has no idea who I am.

Maybe that’s the best part—no one here knows what I’ve lost.

As I scan through the city from my window, looking at how bustling everywhere is—couples hand in hand as they rush to work, children rushing to school, fathers rushing to work, mothers, some going to work, some preparing their children for school, friends walking to their places or talking together—everything I’ve been trying to ignore rushes in at once.

The realization that I have nothing out of all this. No family. No faithful friend. No loyal partner.

The betrayal.

The lies.

The way my best friend wore my skin like a costume, smiling in my face while she stabbed me in the back. The way my boyfriend—no, ex—joined her in the game like I was nothing more than a pawn.

I cry. Ugly, loud, gut-wrenching tears. I cry like no one’s watching because no one is actually watching. That’s the beauty of starting over. No one knows your name, so no one pretends to care.

I cry till I feel like I’ve died and come back wrong.

I feel relieved, because sometimes it’s better to let it out than to keep playing the strong person role. I’m glad I let it out.

“Today, I start over.

Today, I leave my past behind me.

Today, I start as a newborn baby in this city of Eastbridge. No friends, no boyfriend,” I said to myself as I got ready for the day.

By noon, I’m already apartment hunting. Nothing fancy—just something decent and quiet. After three hours of walking and two overpriced places later, I finally find it. A small, one-bedroom apartment tucked behind a bakery. It’s not too big, not too small. Just enough for one broken girl who’s trying to glue herself back together.

The first week goes by in a blur.

I use the little savings I have to do what I’ve never done before—spend on myself. Real perfume. A proper hair trim. Lip gloss that actually matches my skin tone. New clothes. A mirror I don’t avoid anymore.

I walk into little cafés, try weird city food, go to the beach, and sometimes just sit at the park with a cup of cheap coffee and remind myself that I survived. No Jake. No Sophie. No lies.

For the first time in a long time, I live.

All my life, I have always spent it for others and not myself. I hardly buy clothes, and even when I do, I buy the low-grade ones. But I wouldn’t hesitate to borrow my friend Sophie money whenever she needed it—and she didn’t pay. Even my boyfriend—I bought him gifts.

But this time, I want to live for myself and not anyone again.