Kiss Me, Engineer ✅ [COMPLETED]

CHAPTER 6

"I already gave the resignation paper to Sylvan."

Nilingon ko si Kenjiro at nginitian. It's five days passed since that happen and I'm already okay. Hindi na rin ako pumasok sa trabaho and I heard nothing coming from him. Hindi ko pa sinasabi ang lahat ng nangyari sa magulang ko because I don't want them to worry about me.

"Kung iniisip mo kung saan ka pwedeng magtrabaho, Kuenzier already said that it's okay if you will work in his company." Kenjiro said but I just shrugged my shoulder. I don't really know if I can work again. I can work but not now. Umalis muna si Kenjiro at nagpaalam na may bibilhin lang sa labas. I nodded and just watch some movies.

I was just watching when someone's knock on the door. I open it because I thought that it was Kenjiro but I was wrong. Naramdaman ko kung paano mawalan ng kulay ang mukha ko dahil sa taong nasa harap ko. He was holding a flower.

"I-I'm sorry, Sav." Sylvan whispered and then handed me the flower. I was just going to say something but a strong fist punch his face. I startled because of that sudden movement. I stopped Kenjiro by holding his arms. Galit siyang tumingin sa kapatid niya at bahagya pa itong dinuro.

"What are you doing here?! Saying sorry? Fvck you!" Kenjiro shouted and slightly kicked Sylvan's legs. Wala akong narinig na reklamo kay Sylvan and he just accepting every kick from Kenjiro. I held Kenjiro's hand and stopped him. Masyado ng nagiging marahas si Kenjiro.

"I don't know you anymore, Sylvan. You're not the Sylvan I know who always calm and kind. Naging demonyo ka na! Why? Because of what happen on our mother?! Nasaktan din ako pero hindi ako naging ganiyan!" Halos mabingi ako sa boses ni Kenjiro. Sylvan slowly standing up and then wipe the blood on his lips. I want to help him but I'm so scared he might hurt me.

"I didn't change. Ganito na talaga ako noon pa and I met someone 15 years ago that changed me. She climbed on my house and kissed me before leaving. I like her but I hurt her. f**k this." I saw how his eyes watered or it's just my hallucination? He turn his back on us before leaving.

"Are you okay? Did he hurt you?" Kenjiro face me and held my shoulders.

"I'm fine." I said those words but my tears suddenly fell continuously. Is it bad that he hurt me but I still worrying about him? Maski ako ay naguguluhan na sa nararamdaman ko. Palagi kong iniisip kung bakit ganito gayong wala naman akong nararamdamang pagkagusto sa kaniya? Maski sarili kong nararamdaman ay hindi ko na rin hawak simula noong nakilala ko siya. Why does it feels that he stole all of what I have?

Kenjiro encircled his arms around my waist and embraced me tightly. Masyado nang magulo ang lahat-lahat. I just wanted to escape but I don't know how. The pain is still there and it's getting painful every day passed.

"Dress up. I will bring you to a Psychiatrist. You need it, Sav." He whispered and I just nodded. Baka iyon talaga ang kailangan ko. Baka iyon talaga ang dapat na ginawa ko noon pa. I'm just scared that everyone would judge me when they know. Ayaw kong matawag na baliw. I wear my jeans and jacket too. Halos lahat ng damit ko na maiiksi ay pinamigay ko na.

I don't know why everybody judge someone when they wear something short. Why we need to change and not them? Gustong-gusto ko man ipaglaban iyan pero naduwag na ako. After that happens, nawalan na ako ng respeto sa sarili ko. Even it's hot, I always wear jacket and pants.

"You can wear something you comfortable with. I'm here, Sav. Being you is not a problem. It's on them. Wearing short clothes doesn't define you as a woman. If someone disrespect you, I'm ready to protect you." Kenjiro smile at me. Pinilit kong ngumiti pero naging ngiwi nalang iyon. He's right but I just can't help but to be scared of the possibility that it will happen again.

"Let's go. I wll buy you clothes. I love how you wear for yourself and not to please others." He interwined our hands and pulled me towards his car.

Marami akong nakikita sa daan na mga babae. They are comfortable with their clothes while I'm still scared. Mahirap palang mamuhay ng may takot. Mahirap din na ang taong nagpapasaya sayo ay ang taong magbibigay sayo ng takot na dadalhin mo habang nabubuhay ka. The car stopped and we were infront of a mall. Unang lumabas si Kenjiro at inalalayan din ako na bumaba. Natuon sa amin ang ibang mga mata at ang gusto ko na lamang ay lumubog sa kinatatayuan ko. I felt I don't belong anywhere.

"Be yourself and stand out, Sav." Kenjiro whispered and then smiled. I inhaled and get confidence before walking inside the mall with Kenjiro. Isinantabi ko muna ang lahat. Just this time, I will be confident and be myself. Nakakapagod ng maging ibang tao kahit sa sarili ko.

Nagtungo kami sa isang botique ng mga damit and Kenjiro waited for me to finish. I choose something I think I'm comfortable with. Halos isang oras ang itinagal ko bago matapos. Si Kenjiro ang nagbayad ng lahat-lahat and he waited for me to change my clothes.

And after all of it, I am me.

AFTER buying clothes, Kenjiro said that we will go to a Psychiatrist. Kaibigan niya naman daw iyon kaya mapagkakatiwalaan naman. Inilabas ko ang lahat ng takot at pangamba sa pamamagitan ng pagbuntong-hininga. The truth is, may takot parin pero kaya ko naman i-handle. Being scared is just normal, right?

Sa isang village kami nagtungo. Hindi ko alam na dito pala puunta, I thought we were going to some Hospital. Huminto ang kotse na sinasakyan namin sa tapat ng isang mansyon. It's a mansion not a house. What do I need to expect? Kenjiro is a businessman so he might have a friend that rich, too. May isang gwardiya na kinausap si Kenjiro at maya-maya pa aybinuksan na nila ang napakalaking gate. Even the garden of the house is still beautiful. Kahit pa nagbihis na ako ay pakiramdam ko hindi parin ako deserving na makatapak dito.

"Baby! Are you here to visit me?" Isang matinis na boses ang sumalubong sa amin pagkababa palang namin ng kotse. Tumakbo ang babae patungo kay Kenjiro at patalon na niyakap ito. Tumikhim naan si Kenjiro at ibinaba iyong babae. Saka naman natuon ang mata ng babae sa akin. She raised her eyebrow on me while examining my body.

"Sino naman ito? Girlfriend mo? Bago mo? Bakit mukhang luma?" Pagtataray nito at bahagya pa akong nilapitan. I step backward dahil baka bigla nalang niya akong sabunutan. Tumawa siya nang makita ang reaksyon ko.

"Kidding. I'm Zeivie, his cousin." She laid her hands and smile brightly at me.

I shake her hands and smile too. "I'm Savanna. His friend."

"Tanga mo, Ken. Bagal mo naman." Siniko niya si Kenjiro at bahagya pang tumawa but I felt that there's something she's hiding.

"Zeiv is a psychiatrist. She can help you." Nakangiti pang iwinagayway ni Zeiv ang kamay niya pagkabanggit ng pangalan niya ni Kenjiro. Ilan akong ngumiti at nagpatianod ng hilahin niya ako papasok ng bahay nila.

"He loves you, Sav." Bungad niya pagkapasok namin sa opisina niya. I looked at her and I saw a glimpse of sadness in her eyes. Did she likes her cousin? Or it's just me?

"Do you like him?" I asked. I didn't mean to be nosy but I just can't help myself. If she really likes Kenjiro then her love is forbidden.

"I love him more than being cousins." She bitterly smile before sitting down to her swivel chair. She cleared her throat before facing me with an emotionless face.

"If Sylvan and Sydney will have a baby, what would you do?" She asked.

Natigilan ako sa tanong niya. I didn't see it coming. If Sylvan and Sydney will have a baby, it's normal. Mag-asawa sila. But why does something stabbing inside my heart? Something hurt. I don't know.

"You were kidnapped when you're a teen. What did you saw?" She asked again.

Naghalo-halo ang sakit sa isip ko. Hindi ko na alam kung alin ang mas masakit. Bakit ang gulo?

"Did you saw the kidnapper killed someone? Do you accept if Sylvan and Sydney will be happy when they have a child? May pinatay ba na kasama mo? Anong nararamdaman mo kay Sylvan? What the kidnappers do to you? Bakit hindi—"

"P-Please stop. It's hurt." I cut her off and suddenly held my chest. Biglang sumabog ang kung ano-ano sa isip ko. "I saw the kidnappers killed someone. I saw how they cut the stomach of a kid. I-I saw it all." I cried after saying those words. There, I say it.

"Nakakadiri diba? The past is still mark on your heart. Hindi mo sila natulungan. Ikaw ang may kasalanan. Ikaw! Namatay sila dahil sayo! You killed them!"

"No! I didn't! I'm just a kid back then. Nasasaktan din ako tuwing naiisip ko na hindi ko sila natulungan. I'm stupid for not helping them." Tinakpan ko ang mukha ko dahil sa pagluha.

"Kay Sylvan at Sydney naman." She said. Akala ko magiging matatag parin ako. I faced so many problems and I was strong enough to handle it but I'm so fragile inside. Ngayon ko lang tuluyang nailabas ang lahat. I feel free.

"I don't know." I just said. I really don't know what I should say.

"Mas masarap si Sydney sayo. Kaya nga sila nagkabalikan, diba? He loves her. Isa ka lang malanding babae na kumakapit para makaraos. Masakit? Because that's the truth. Hindi ka niya mahal! Never ka niyang mama—" I cut her off by slaping her face. Hindi ko napiglan an kamay ko basta nalang inihais ang vase na nasa mesa niya.

"Putangina naman! I know she loves Sydney! Hindi mo na kailangang ipamukha iyon?! I love him and gave all! I gave my heart! I gave my virginity! I gave all! Pero puta, mas pinili niya iyong babaeng iyon! The f**k, yes! I love him! Oh my gosh, I love him." I sobs because of what I just realized. Maybe Kenjiro was right, I love Sylvan but I just denying it. That's the reason why I'm hurting when he have a wife.

"Okay." She shrugged her shoulder. Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin dahil andami kong sinabi pero iyon lang ang magiging sagot niya? No comforting words? "Don't expect me to comfort you. I'm just a psychiatrist here and also, ikaw iyong nanira ng gamit ko at sinampal pa ang napakaganda kong mukha." She laugh and then stood up.

"Let's go." Paanyaya niya at iniwasan ang mga piraso ng basag na vase. I felt sorry for the vase. Napakaganda niyon at mukhang antique pa. God, what just I've done?

We both headed towards the lounge of their house. Nakaupo doon si Kenjiro at nakatulala. He stood up when he saw us walking towards him.

"She's still stuck on her past. And yes, she loves him." Rinig kong sabi ni Zeiv kay Kenjiro. Marami pa silang pinag-usapan pero hindi ko na narinig iyon. Natulala ako sa kawalan. Pakiramdam ko nabawasan ng kaunti ang bigat sa nararamdaman ko dahil sa pagka-usap sa akin ni Zeiv, although thee's still a pain inside but I can handle it.

"Thank you, Zeiv. We will come back." I heards Kenjiro bid a goodbye before smiling at me. Hinawakan ni Kenjiro ang siko ko at hinila na ako patungo sa kanyang kotse. Bumuntong-hininga siya and hugged me tightly.

"You love him. I know that but I'm still hoing you will see me as your man and not just a friend." He whispered then kissed the top of my head. I just admit that I love Sylvan but here Kenjiro was, Confessing his feelings for me. I don't deserve him. He deserve better and not me.

Pero gusto ko munang manatili siya sa tabi ko. Kailangan ko ng kaibigan.