BLACK TIGER | YOONMIN

Broken

"It's not always just the heart. Sometimes, your mind breaks as well." Unknown

After we made sure not to leave any proof of our presence in Yang Minho's house, we left and headed to the car.

I helped Lisa sit in the back, she looked pale and shocked and it made me very sad for her because I knew how bad that feeling was.

The Black Tiger helped the boss and sat next to him while his hand pressed a little on the wound in order to stop the bleeding until we arrive to the company.

"You drive Christian." I heard Namjoon mumble. It was strange hearing him call me by my agent name, but then I realized it has been our first "mission" together.

I nodded and opened the door. "For once, I'm thankful that I have a driving licence." I told myself before I started the engine.

"Stop by a fast food shop, they need to eat." the boss said with a weak voice. I raised an eyebrow and looked at him through the rear view mirror. "Are you serious? You're bleeding!"

"Look at their state!" he shouted and groaned with pain.

I looked at Lisa and the Black Tiger and my chest tightened. Both had their heads resting on the windows, their minds thinking elsewhere.

"It's late, if you find a McDonald's stop there."

I nodded.

We left the "rich area" and we headed downtown. I was driving nervously because I had three patients inside the car who needed immediate care and I just wanted to arrive to the company as soon as I could.

I spotted the big yellow M sign and drove until the Mc Drive zone.

"Hello sir, what would you like to order?" a young woman in her twenties gave me a small smile. She looked extremely tired and bored. It was almost 3 am, so I understand how it would feel to work until such a late hour.

I was thankful that the car had smoked glass windows because in the back it looked like a battlefield.

"4 Big mac menus with french fries, two Sprite, a cola and water."

I used the black card the boss gave me to pay the food and waited until our order was ready.

"Here." I gave the Black Tiger the carton bag. "Eat."

He took it without meeting my eyes and opened the small box before he gave Lisa her hamburger.

She gave him a sad smile and started eating quietly.

I looked at the boss who simply nodded to me. I understood he wanted to make sure I knew he was alright.

But I wasn't.

I accelerated and took a shortcut in order to arrive soon.

We arrived a few minutes later. I hurried to open Namjoon's door and help him stand up.

"Hyung, take care of Lisa-ssi please." I asked the Black Tiger.

The boss placed his arm around my shoulders, "This s**t hurts." he groaned.

"I know." I sighed. "Let's get you to the clinique."

The women at the reception hall gasped when they saw us arriving in our worst state.

I called one of them and asked her to wake Jennie up. She was the only female agent I got along well with and I knew she wouldn't hesitate to help the pregnant woman.

We walked to the elevator and pushed the number of the floor that leaded to the clinic.

"Boss?!" one of the doctors hurried to help me. "What happened?"

"Got stabbed." Namjoon mumbled. "I believe the wound isn't that deep."

The doctor rubbed his chin and washed his hands before putting the gloves on.

He asked the nurse to help the boss lie on the bed and take off his pants.

He examined the wound and pressed his lips, "Boss, you're wrong. It's kinda deep." he said.

Namjoon let out a heavy sigh and rubbed the back of his neck. "Shit."

"I need to clean it and stitch it." the doctor looked at the nurse, "Anesthetic."

"Local anesthesia?" the boss asked.

The doctor nodded.

"It's still gonna hurt as fuck." Namjoon rolled his eyes.

"You need to be patient boss."

I took a chair and placed it by the bed's side. I sat down and took Namjoon's hand, "It's gonna be alright hyung." I whispered.

His eyes rested on mine for a long time until he smiled and said, "Thanks cutie." he winked. "You did well tonight."

"I did nothing." I lowered my head. "I still can't defend myself, I still can't protect people..."

"You scared Minho." he said. "I saw it in his eyes that he was scared you would shoot him. You saved Lisa from the jail, you drove us and you brought me in time to the clinic. You protected us Jimin."

I gulped and looked at him. His kind words reached my heart and I felt like crying, but I didn't want to make the things harder for the boss.

~~

The boss slept right after the minor surgery. The medication calmed him down.

I left the clinic and headed upstairs to check on Lisa and the Black Tiger.

I met Jennie in the hallway and stopped her, "Hey, where are they?"

She rubbed her eye and gave me a lazy smile. She was sleepy and her hair was a little messy.

"Lisa-ssi is already sleeping, I gave her my bed."

I nodded, "How about him?"

She chuckled, "Is this even a question oppa? You know him, he locked himself in his room without saying a word."

I sighed and wished her a good night.

I was sleepy, but I needed to talk to him before anything.

I walked to the end of the corridor and knocked on his door. "Hyung it's me."

No answer.

I rested my head against the wooden door, "Hyung please, I need to talk to you."

"Go away." I heard him say with a cold tone.

"Please." I knocked gently. "I want to see you."

There was a long silence before I decided to go to sleep.

When I walked away, I heard the door open.

I turned and saw him standing, his injuries covered with bandages.

I pressed my lips and walked toward him. He invited me inside and closed the door after us.

"What do you want?" he asked.

I smiled and placed my arms around him. I hugged him tightly and let out a loud sigh of relief. I was happy nothing bad happened to him.

"Let go." he whispered.

"What happened?" I asked.

He didn't answer.

"It's not like you." I added. "How did he find you?"

"It doesn't matter." he shrugged. "I'm sleepy, would you please leave my room?"

I stared at him with confused eyes. He was clearly hiding something, I could see that he was concerned about something.

I approached him and placed a hand on his shoulder, "Hyung, what's wrong?"

He pushed me gently and looked away, "Leave me alone."

"Hyung please I just want to help y-" he surprised me by pushing me violently on the ground. I looked at him with wide eyes, not believing he could act this way. "Hyung?" I couldn't stop my tears from falling.

"I told you to leave, you don't listen to me."

I stood up and took a breath, "Why are you acting this way hyung? What happened to you?!" I shouted.

"No." he shook his head. "What's wrong with you?! I thought the boss made it clear that you can't go on missions now! What was he thinking about?"

"Even if he stopped me from going, I would have searched for you and saved you." I mumbled quietly, avoiding his eyes.

"What the hell are you saying?" I heard him say. "Why would you look for me huh? Why would you put your damn ass for danger?!"

I clenched my fists and approached him. I pushed him strongly, the tears falling like a cascade on my cheeks. "Because my damn ass is f*****g in love with you!"

He froze.

I could see the surprise on his face and it made me more angry because I couldn't understand how he couldn't know that I had feelings for him after all the signs I gave him.

"What...what the hell?" he whispered.

I wiped my tears and looked at him, "I know you might not feel the same way for me, but I just wanted you to know. You have to know."

He scratched the back of his neck and walked to the balcony. I saw him lit a cigarette and rest his back against the wall.

"Hyung." I followed him. "I know it's stupid." I ran my fingers in my hair. "But I can't help it. Since I arrived to the company, you were the one who caught my attention the most."

"Why?" he asked.

I shrugged, "I don't know...you're different."

He looked away and smoked his cancer stick. I rolled my eyes but I decided not to do anything that'll make him angrier.

"I have feelings for you hyung and even if you ask me to stop them, I won't." I said with a confident tone, making him look at me with confused eyes. "Because I can't...no, I don't want to."

He sighed and look at my eyes, shaking his head. "I c-"

"I know." I walked closer to him and put my hand on his shoulder, "I know you don't feel the same way, or maybe you're just not ready, but I will wait for you hyung." I started crying again and I mentally cursed myself for being such a crybaby in front of the man I love. I must have looked so stupid.

I looked at him with a sad smile and hugged him, "I just want you to accept my feelings hyung." I whispered.

It felt good to feel his body against mine, but it hurt so badly not to feel his arms around me.

"Stop crying." I heard him say.

I nodded and wiped my tears, "Can we...at least be friends hyung?" I asked.

"I don't know." he said. "It's not a good idea to be by my side."

"Why not?" I asked. "Because of your past? Hyung you know that we can help each o-"

"You can't!" he surprised me by shouting again. He finished his cigarette and entered the room angrily.

"Why? I just want an explanation!" I said.

"You can't! I'm not the man you think I am, I'm dangerous! I'm uncontrollable!" he took off his dirty shirt and took clean clothes from his wardrobe.

"I know." I sighed. "But maybe if you talked to someone, it would make the things easier for you."

He turned around and looked at me straight in my eyes, "If I talk to someone, I'll lose him forever." he said with a soft voice.

He shook his head and sighed. He opened the door and looked at me again, "Please leave me alone."

I saw his face, there was sadness and pain.

"Alright." I gave him a sad smile and walked to the door. I gave him a last stare and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek before leaving.

~~

The next morning, I had a hard time waking up. I had a headache and my muscles were aching.

I got up and jumped in the shower. I never felt so bad in such a long time.

I felt too lazy and too broken to do anything.

I let the warm water clean my body from all pain, sadness and sorrow.

When I finished, I wore my suit and headed to the cafeteria.

I found Lisa sitting alone in a table, eating her breakfast. Her face was in a worse state than mine.

"Good morning Lisa-ssi." I gently squeezed her shoulder and sat next to her.

"Good morning...Christian?"

I smiled, "You can call me Jimin here." I said. "How are you doing?"

"I don't know." she shook her head. "My little girl must have been hurt to see me kill her father. I'm such a bad mother."

"You're not bad!" Jennie joined us. She hugged the pregnant woman and caressed her hair, "You did the right thing sweetheart, he deserved it."

Lisa wiped her tears, "My baby will grow up without a father."

I took her hand and spoke gently, "She may not have a father, but look." I pointed to the agents surrounding us. "She will have the best family."

"Exactly." Jennie nodded with a smile. "We will take care of her and watch her grow up by our side."

"You guys..." the blonde woman hugged us and sobbed. "You are so sweet!"

"Good morning!" Hoseok joined us too. His smile was too contagious that I forgot my unhappiness for a second. "I heard we have a newbie, and a beautiful woman above all."

"Lisa-ssi, this is Hoseok hyung, the vice president of the company and the agent in charge of guiding the newbies."

"Look at you doing the introductions now!" he patted my back.

He took her hand and kissed it. "Welcome to Bullet & Co Lisa-ssi."

"Thank you." she smiled.

"How many months?" Hoseok pointed to her belly.

"Six months."

"Oh, we're having the first baby agent in two months!" Jennie clapped her hands.

I felt Hoseok place his arm around me, "Hey, you alright?" he whispered.

I shrugged, "I'm tired."

"Wait, I'll get your breakfast."

I grabbed his arm and shook my head, "Later hyung, I need to check on the boss first."

He nodded and gave me a small smile, "I'll see you later."

I patted his back and left the cafeteria. The Black Tiger was nowhere to be seen, it felt strange not to see him in his usual table, drinking his americano and reading his book.

I went to the clinic and found the boss lying on his bed, eating his breakfast.

"Morning boss."

"Hey cutie." he ruffled my hair. "Did you sleep well?"

"Don't ask me." I chuckled. "How's your leg?"

"Don't ask me."

We started laughing, making all the medical staff look at us and laugh too.

I sighed, "It feels good to laugh."

"What's wrong?" he patted the empty space on his bed, inviting me to lie next to him.

"Him again." I mumbled.

"Still cold?"

"I confessed to him?"

"What?!" he widened his eyes. "What did you say?"

"I told him that I love him."

The boss sighed and placed his arm around my shoulders, "I guess he didn't say anything."

I nodded, "He asked me to leave him alone."

"I hope you didn't take it badly." he said. "You know how he is..."

"Not take it badly?" I chuckled. "The first and only man I ever loved cheated on me with my best friend, and the one I love now doesn't even trust me!"

Namjoon offered me his handkerchief to wipe my tears and held me against his chest. "Don't misunderstand him...I'm sure he trusts you, but it's hard for him to admit it. Just the fact that he doesn't stop himself from talking to you is a big step for him."

"It hurts hyung..." I whispered. "I just want to be loved...truly. I just want to have someone by my side, someone I can trust and love without limits and without it fear of losing him."

"I know, Jimin." he kissed my head. "Tiger is a complicated person. He's having a hard time and we should be thankful that he never tried to kill himself."

I gulped, "What he did...is that bad?" I asked.

The boss simply nodded.

~~

One week passed and Minho's death was still the talk on the news.

The Black Tiger was smart enough to make it look like he killed himself, but the police still suspected Lisa because she sudden disappeared and the neighbours knew nothing about her.

The young woman was getting a little better, Jennie and the females agents were kind enough to spend more time with her and make sure she's alright as well as her baby.

As for me, I was still sad and broken.

I spent most of my times in the training room. I wanted to learn as fast as I could because I couldn't stand staying at the company while the agents had missions.

I barely had time to talk to my friends or check on the boss. His leg was doing a lot better, but he still couldn't walk without crutches.

He was the one I talked to the most during the last days because he understands me and knows me well. He always comforts me and manages to find the right words to make me feel better.

It was past midnight when I left the shower rooms and prepared myself to go to sleep. On my way to the dorms, I spotted the Black Tiger sitting in the terrasse holding something between his hands.

I got curious, but I didn't know if I could talk to him after a week of silence.

But he didn't look well, his head was lowered and it seemed like he was crying.

I walked to the terrasse and sat next to him. I was nervous because the things got different between us since my confession.

I looked at him and my heart shattered when I saw that he was indeed crying.

The screen of the blue old Walkman mp4 he was holding was covered with his tears.

"Hyung?" I touched his hand gently. "Why are you crying?"

He shook his head.

"Hyung, please...I beg you to talk to me for once."

He finally lifted his head to look at me. His eyes were red and he looked extremely pale. "This...this mp4 was the first gift they...they bought me." he started.

I gulped and approached him, "Who?"

"My parents." he answered. "I...I was fifteen and they knew I loved listening to music."

I nodded. My body was shaking because he was finally talking about a part of his past to me, which made me a little nervous and excited at the same time.

"The first and last...gift from them." he wiped his tears. "Before they died."

I sighed and caressed his arm, "I'm so sorry." I whispered.

"No." he shook his head. "I'm the one who's sorry." he said.

I frowned, "Don't say that hyung, stop being harsh toward yourself!"

"I should!" he punched the small glass table.

"Why hyung?"

He looked straight at my eyes, I could hear his breathing so much it was loud. He opened his mouth slightly and gulped before pronouncing the words that forever tortured him inside.

"I killed them."