BLACK TIGER | YOONMIN

Mistake

"It's not how we make the mistakes, but how we correct them that defines us." Unknown

"I killed them."

The feeling that haunted my body at that exact moment is indescribable. My chest tightened and I stopped breathing for long seconds.

The three words he pronounced so suddenly replayed in my mind several times, making me feel dizzy.

I couldn't move, I daren't look at him.

The Black Tiger was having a harder time than me, I saw his hands shaking along with his legs and I would be lying if I said I didn't feel bad for him.

I waited a few moments until I recollected myself and took a long breath before looking at him. His skin was paler than usual and dark circles appeared under his eyes proving he couldn't sleep the night before, or perhaps all the nights.

"Uhm..." I rubbed the back of my neck nervously. "I'm surprised, but...I'm sure i-it was just an accident." I must have given him the most stupid smile at that moment. I only wanted to make the situation less tense, but it was obviously impossible after the confession he made.

There was a long silence. The Black Tiger didn't say a word, his head was lowered and his eyes were focusing on the ground.

I saw him gulping before his eyes rested on mine, but this time my heart shattered instantly because of the tears I saw falling on his cheeks.

He shook his head slowly, "It...it wasn't."

I froze.

I got so nervous that I couldn't stop rubbing my neck and the back of my head. I was never put in such a situation before, I didn't know how to act or what to tell him.

"What...happened?" I asked with a calm voice.

He wiped his tears with the sleeve of his black jacket and cleared his throat. "My parents always argued about everything." He started. "My father drank a lot, he just couldn't stop." I noticed how he would stop to take a breath every time he was about to say something. "Since I was a teenager, I had to bear to see him beating my mother every time he came very late at night."

"That's why you got disconcerted at Minho's house." I sighed.

He nodded, "I couldn't help her, I was scared of him." He continued. "That was when I started writing songs. I couldn't talk to anyone about my parents and the only things that relieved me were a pen and an empty notebook."

My thoughts immediately went to the notebook I found on his desk before. It must be the one he had since he was younger.

"As years passed, I started making music. I worked part-time at a coffee shop without telling my parents so that I can buy a new laptop and all the material I'll need for my music." He took another breath. "When my parents found out, they argued more. Each of them accused the other to have 'ruined' their son's life. The only times when they were agreeing with each other where when they scolded me for not thinking about my future and told me that making music is the worst mistake I made in my life."

He paused for a moment and closed his eyes tightly.

"So..." I pressed my lips. "What happened?"

"The story is long, but they didn't leave me in peace for years. I never had a quiet day at home, my father's drinking habit worsened and he kept on beating me and my mother every time he had the opportunity."

His legs were shaking a lot, so I placed my hand on his thigh and squeezed it gently, hoping it would calm him down.

"One day, I got a call from a producer of one of the companies I sent my songs to and he told me that he was interested in my works and he'd like to meet, so I ran home to get all my stuff and when I arrived..." he clenched his fists. "I found all the music material spread on my bedroom's ground, shattered, torn and broken."

I frowned, "Your father..."

"Yes." He nodded. "He broke everything, he ruined all the works I worked on for years."

"What did you do?" I asked impatiently. The tension and the nervousness was killing me so bad that I wanted to know all the truth once and for all.

"I hoped my mother would understand my anger and talk to him, but the only thing she did was to scold me again and tell me that my father was right to do it because music can't be my future. I got angry, so angry that I couldn't think anymore.

He sighed. "I was already suffering from anger issues, I knew it the first time I went to see a doctor, secretly of course. He tried to help me get through it, but it was impossible with my parents." He paused and looked at me with sad eyes, a look I have never seen before. "That day, I couldn't control myself. I started screaming and shouting at them, my father beat me and my mother kept on crying because she had such a disappointment of a son like me. I waited for years, but my patience had its limits. Coincidentally that day I didn't take my medication and I lost control." He closed his eyes and reopened them again to look at me. Tears were falling on his shaking lips. "I wanted them to disappear from my life. The next second, I found myself taking a lighter from my pocket and setting the house on fire." He rested his head on my shoulder and sobbed harder, "I...I burned them alive."

I found myself crying silently along with him. I covered my mouth and tried to chase the images from my mind. I didn't want to share the same memories as him because it only hurt me more than I'm already hurt.

I wondered how he could survive during all those years. After I killed my boyfriend and my best friend, I felt like the worst person that exists, but I can't even imagine if I ever killed my mother. How would I feel?

The Black Tiger wiped his tears and faced me. "That's what happened, that's why I'm here." He said.

The only thing I could do was to look at his eyes and cry with him. I didn't know what to say and I was also scared to speak because I feared to say something that might hurt him more.

"I...uhm..." I felt ashamed because no words could leave my mouth.

He rested his hand on shoulder and squeezed it, "You don't have to say anything." he whispered weakly and entered inside.

I spent hours outside in the terrasse, hours sitting in the same chair, in the same position. I saw the stars shine in the bright sky and disappear little by little along with the moon to let the azur blue color invade the large space.

I spent the entire night thinking about him and only him. One of those rare times when I forget my own past and the people I hurt. His voice kept on sounding in my ears again and again, repeating the same words "I burned them alive". It made me think of how far his anger issues can lead him to and how many mistakes he regrets he might have done or will do.

I remembered his files in the boss's office, it made it clear that he didn't make any progress since the day he arrived to the company, which means that he's still suffering from those issues and might still lose his control.

But when I think about it more, it's been months since Namjoon brought me to Bullet&Co but I have never seen him hurt someone. Yes, I did hear things about him but I have never seen anything with my eyes. I even went on missions with him and he never did anything that might expose his issues.

He thinks he's a bad person, that he's a monster, but I don't see it in him.

It was 7 am when I left the terrasse, it was already late to get a little sleep. I thought maybe a cold shower and a cup of coffee could help.

At the cafeteria, I saw Taehyung and Jungkook eating their breakfast together and I decided not to disturb their couple moment, so I chose a table not too far from theirs and brought my breakfast tray.

As I was drinking my warm coffee, I saw the Black Tiger entering the cafeteria. His eyes were in a worst state of mine, they were swollen and red. He must have spent the night crying and regretting every single mistake he made in the past.

I felt so bad because I couldn't strand up and go to him. After he told me the truth I was dying to know about, I found myself so stupid that I didn't even find the words to comfort him.

On his way to get his coffee, his eyes rested on mine but he quickly looked away. I mentally cursed myself for making him think I believe he's a bad person.

"Good morning beautiful." I felt a hand rest on the back of my neck. I thought it was Hoseok, but when I lifted my head I saw the red-haired man whom I forgot his existence.

"Hey Wonsik." I gave him a small smile.

He invited himself to sit in my table and I had no energy to argue with him.

"You look tired darling, what's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing." I shrugged. "I just had an intense training yesterday." I lied.

"I see." he rubbed his chin. "Now that you mentioned it, I really need to watch you training someday." he smirked. "I really need something to entertain me in this boring company."

I frowned, "Why is watching me training entertaining to you?" I mumbled.

He kept on smirking then he pointed to my body with his finger. "I can already imagine how it is to see your sweaty abs and the shorts tracing your thighs."

"What the f**k?" I raised an eyebrow. "I hope you're joking, because if you're not that's a problem."

He laughed, "Why would I joke about something that's true?"

I slammed the cup I had on the table and the coffees spilled. The agents turned to look at us.

"Look, I didn't have any f*****g second of sleep last night and I don't need any damn asshole pervert to annoy me this morning." I didn't realize I spoke with a loud voice until I saw some of them laughing or mocking Wonsik.

"Hey calm down cutie." he raised an eyebrow. "No need to tell the world."

I pressed my lips and looked away, catching my breath. "Nevermind." I mumbled before leaving the cafeteria.

I heard someone running behind me and I heard Taehyung calling my name.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he grabbed my arm and looked at me with confused eyes. "I've never seen you this angry."

"Don't worry Tae, I'm alright."

"No, you're not." he said. "Look at your face, you look awful."

"Well thanks." I faked a smile.

"What's going on here?" the boss interrupted.

"He just scolded an agent and he says he's alright when he looks like a zombie." Taehyung rolled his eyes.

The amazing thing about Namjoon is that I needn't say a word to tell him that I want to talk. A simple look made him understand that I wanted his help.

"Taehyung, you can go finish your breakfast, I'll take care of him."

"Are you sure boss?"

Namjoon nodded.

The programmer gave me a disappointed look and went back to the cafeteria.

I followed the boss to his office and the second I stepped inside, the tears started falling from my eyes.

"Oh whoa!" Namjoon widened his eyes and helped me sit down. "Why are you crying?"

I hurried to wipe my tears and looked at him.

"Did something happen with Tiger? Did he say something about your confession?"

I shook my head, "Something else."

"Then who it is?"

"It's him, but it's not about my stupid confession."

Namjoon nodded, "Then what?"

"He...he told me everything." I whispered.

He raised an eyebrow. "Told you what?"

"About the reason why he's here."

The boss froze. He looked at me with surprised eyes and put his hands on my shoulders, "His parents?"

I nodded.

Namjoon knelt before me and rubbed his chin. "I never believed he would ever tell anyone about it." he mumbled with a shocked tone. "I knew it because I was the one who saw him running away from the burning house."

"How...how was he?"

"Broken." the boss answered. "From all the agents I brought to this company, he was the one who needed most help."

I frowned.

"I can't forget the look on his face after he...he killed them." he said. "He was angry, surprised and frightened at the same time. I couldn't just let him alone."

"You're lucky hyung." I looked at him with sad eyes.

"Why?"

"You know how to talk to people when they're in need. After he told me, I couldn't formulate a single word, I feel so stupid."

He caressed my arm, "It's normal Jimin." he smiled. "I'm good at it because I studied psychology. I know how to act in different situations and how to treat people."

"I have a lot to learn from you." I smiled back.

"Always welcome." he ruffled my hair.

He stood up and filled two cups of red wine and offered me one.

He sat in his desk and shook his head, "I still can't believe he talked to you about it."

"Me neither hyung." I sighed. "I don't know if I should be happy because he finally trusts me or sad because now I share a part of his past."

"Happiness is always better." Namjoon said. "The past is the past Jimin, it's gone and it's better not to keep thinking about it. Successful people work for their present in order to assure a good future, that's how you should think."

I simply nodded and took a sip of the drink. "He thinks that the way I see him changed."

"That's the reason why he doesn't talk to people." the boss sighed. "He thinks that he'll get attached and one day they will leave him if they know his true self."

"He's not bad." I mumbled. "Yes, he made a mistake...a horrible one." I pressed my lips. "But that doesn't make him a monster."

Namjoon rested his chin on the palm of his hand and said, "How about you tell him this?"

I pressed my lips, "I'll get nervous."

He chuckled, "I know you will, but just try okay?"

"But what if he doesn't want to talk to me?"

"Trust me, he really needs someone to talk to and when I say someone, I mean you Jimin." he smiled. "Sharing his darkest secret with you is already a big deal for him and it only means that he trusts you and that he wants you to help him get over it."

I sighed, "If you say so."

Three days have passed since the conversation with the boss and I still couldn't dare approach the Black Tiger. I would always wake up with the idea of talking to him and I end up ignoring him or going anywhere he wasn't in.

After two hours of training, the coach finally released me and asked me to rest. I took a shower and headed to the cafeteria, I was so hungry that I could devour anything.

It was empty inside because most agents eat at around 2 pm and it was 3 pm when I arrived.

I spotted Jennie and Lisa eating together, I smiled because the pregnant woman looked better every day. The agents made sure to turn off all the TVs and not open any news website so that she can forget a little about the incident.

"Hello ladies." I approached them with a smile. "Enjoy your meal."

"How sweet!" Lisa smiled back. "Come join us!"

"Oh my, you look so tired oppa. Sit, please." Jennie got me a chair and insisted on bringing my food.

While she was away, Lisa looked at me and said, "I actually wanted to ask you something."

"Yes?"

"I noticed that you are distancing yourself from the Black Tiger lately, I know you have a close relationship and I wondered why the things has changed between you two."

I blushed because I didn't know that my stupidity was too obvious to be noticed by other people.

"He shared a part of his past with me and I didn't act how I should. Oh god, I feel even worse when I say it." I rubbed my forehead and sighed.

"You know, I noticed how he never stops looking at you." she said.

My heart beat faster just by the thought of his eyes resting on me.

"I saw how he looks at you with a sad face every morning here at the cafeteria, I really think you should talk to him."

I chuckled, "The boss and you think alike."

"Well, he is certainly right." she laughed.

"What were you whispering about?" Jennie came back with my tray. I thanked her and shared a part of my dessert with the two of them.

We ate lunch and talked for a long moment. I rarely befriended girls before, but Jennie and Lisa made it easier for me to get along with them. They are nice and funny and I would be happy to have them as good friends.

On my way to the dorms, Lisa followed me and encouraged me to talk to him that night.

I needed to do it.

I knocked on his door, but he wasn't in his room. I searched for him in the terrasse and the gym, but he was nowhere to be seen.

Fortunately, I met the boss in the corridor and he told me that he has just seen him leave the building, so I hurried to go downstairs and follow him.

I spotted him next to his motorcycle, he was just putting his helmet when I ran to him. "Wait!"

He looked at me and pressed his lips.

I approached him slowly and asked, "Can I come with you?"

He opened the compartment under the dual seat to get a blue helmet and gave it to me. I smiled and put in while he sat and started the engine. He patted the empty space behind him and gave me a nervous smile.

When I sat down, I realized I was wearing a light shirt which is a bad idea if you ride a motorcycle. He must have read my thoughts, so he took off his leather and gave it to me silently.

"What about you?" I asked shyly.

"It's alright."

I clung to him by putting my arms around his waist. I felt him tensing, he was still not used to people touching him. I was about to take my arms away from him when I felt leather touching my hands. He stopped me from moving away, he grabbed my hands with his gloved one and caressed them gently with his thumb. Tiger was also one of those people who could speak a thousand words without talking.

Few moments later, we were far from the building, I didn't have any idea on the direction we were taking, but it didn't matter to me because I was with him.