When War Meets Love

Kicking Balls

I was swimming contently in the cool waters of a tropical island far away, in a state of absolute bliss. I was in paradise, I thought, floating on my back peacefully under the blazing sun. The sun’s rays weren’t too strong and were just enough to warm up my skin. My husband wasn’t very far, grilling some meat on the bonfire he spent hours setting up. I could smell the heavenly scent of the food from here, I think it was steak he was cooking; oh yes, definitely steak. My two kids, Skyler and Rose, were building sandcastles on the shore, waiting for me to return from my morning swim to help them decorate. They love it when I help them pick out shells of the same color. My mom, dad, and grandma were mirthfully drinking coconut juice straight from the fruit, sitting under the shade of the coconut trees, watching the kids. They were teasing my husband, warning him that if he overcooked the food they will throw the coconut shells at him.

I laughed at that, the sound of my cackle forcing me to open my eyes and take a nice long look at reality. 

Instead of enjoying myself on an island, I was floating on my back in the school pool, staring at the high tiled ceiling above me. The water was a bit cold but tolerable. I was swimming backward, pushing the water with my hands and feet. I exhaled a gloomy sigh, wishing that what I saw in my head would come true one day.

Yet I am certain it won’t. I have no parents, that’s a known fact, and grandma’s lifespan most likely won’t last that long. Especially since it will take me forever to find someone to date, let alone marry, thanks to Julian who made sure every male in this school steered away from me.

Even if I wasn’t going to talk to or date anyone of them, I would have at least had the chance to push them away myself. He even deprived me of having that.

Which reminds me, I had to talk to him about it all. I promised myself I would face him soon and confront him with the mess he made. I swam to the edge of the pool to reach my phone, careful not to get it wet, and I checked the time. I wasn’t too late which means Julian was probably still in football practice. I could get ready and meet him before he leaves.

And who knows, if we end things on a good note, I could perhaps earn a ride home, I thought optimistically.

Yeah, right, my subconscious retorted.

I didn’t listen to her snobby self and got out of the pool. After putting myself dry, I changed back to my original outfit and went outside to search for him. The crispy air outside bit at my nose and ears, making a shiver roll through my body like lightning.

I spotted him standing on the football field with a group of other guys, talking enthusiastically. Usually, the sight of him would make me beam and feel all giddy inside, but now it made my frown visibly deepen and my stomach churn in dread. It’s appalling how some things refuse to stay the way they were.

I marched over to him, determination building in my core. When he caught sight of me, he looked surprised. I don’t blame him, it’s not in my nature to face people who have hurt me, as my main tactic is to just avoid that person altogether. But this time is different. I am different. 

 Thanks to him and his audacity.

“Julian, can we talk for a bit?” I said in a grave tone. I held my chin up high and looked him straight in the eyes, trying to be as serious as possible.

He smirked sarcastically. “Why? So you can push me, too?” Oh, so that’s how it's going to be.

I scoffed, and narrowed my eyes, jabbing my finger into his hard chest. “If you don’t want to talk in private, I have no problem talking in front of all your friends here and exposing you for being a lying, conniving piece of shi-”

He quickly grabbed my arm, “Okay, fine, let’s go to my car and talk there,” he surrendered, dragging me behind him across the football field to save some face. I knew he cared too much about his image and would be devastated if anyone of his pals thought negatively of him. That's one thing he and Selma had in common.

My poor shoes are going to turn green with all the grass he's making them gobble.

When we got to his car, he stood directly in front of me, intimidatingly, forcing me to take a few steps till my back was hitting the side of the car. I was sandwiched between his torso and the blue vehicle.

“Spill. What do you want Audelia? To apologize? If you want me to forgive you, you’re dreaming. I won’t ever forget how you hurt Selma and disrespected her like that, you-”

I don’t know what came over me, but I snapped. “You forgive ME? Oh, no, haha, YOU are the one who has to be sorry and ask me for MY forgiveness.” He looked confused, so I informed him of everything I knew.

“I know Julian. I know that you scared off every guy in this school, threatening them not to talk to me.” It dawned on him then, and he realized he was caught. He looked like he was about to deny it, but I didn’t give him a chance to.

I told Julian how all it took was a boy to come sit with me during lunch and uncover it all on the table. How that boy took off the blindfold he had tied on me. He seriously believed that I was never going to find out. But I'm not in the dark anymore. 

“I thought I was your friend Julian. What did I ever do to you? Am I not deserving of someone to love, to hold, to kiss? You are so selfish, you know. You can have a relationship with Selma, that’s perfectly fine, but I’m not allowed to have a boyfriend? I can’t think of any excuses to give you, and I don’t want to hear any more lies.” I was breathing hard, the words coming out of me like I was hurling them. I told him everything I had been thinking of.

He closed his eyes, and lowered his head, tugging at his hair. He turned his body away from me, looking at his surroundings. I guess he had nothing to say, because he stayed silent, the only sounds audible were our breathing. 

A few moments had passed before he turned around, and suddenly slammed both of his hands beside each of my shoulders, trapping me between him and the car again. I looked at him and I could see a million thoughts pass his mind behind his hazel eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he began, “but I was protecting you from them. These boys aren’t men, they are animals. They won’t treat you the way you deserve, and I wanted to-”

I punched his chest, surprised that he actually winced in pain. “That wasn’t your job. I can take care of myself and if a boy actually did hurt my feelings, I would like to experience that myself and learn from it and grow from the occurrence. I would pick a heartbreak over the fact of being lonely and always feeling unwanted. Did you ever think of what I wanted? What I felt?” I was on the verge of tears but I clenched my fists tight and bit my tongue to stop myself. “I have always felt unwanted. All my life, I was never a priority to anyone.”

“That’s not true,” he whispered sadly. “Plenty of people need you, you just don’t see it,” he said, louder this time.

“Who needs me? My grandma? If I leave her for a week, she’ll forget all about me. The list ends there. You were on that list, but now I’m not so sure. You-”

“Loved you,” he croaked through fresh tears, rolling down his cheek like raindrops. “I loved you, Lia.”

And that's when I stopped breathing.

Did I drown in that pool? Am I still daydreaming? Did he say what I heard him say? 

I was still in the middle of processing what had happened, but he took my silence as a cue to continue talking. “My feelings for you were strong, Lia. I couldn’t let any guy get closer to you because I was afraid someone will take you away from me. Yes, I admit I was selfish in that way. I tried to move our relationship forward but you wouldn’t take any of my hints. So I gave up… and tried to move on with Selma. She was always trying to get me to go out with her, and so I did.”

His words shook me to my core. My jar was laying on the floor now. Can someone please pick it up for me?

So, let me get this straight. All this time… he felt the same way towards me? I didn’t know whether to be happy that he did, or mad at myself for not realizing he did, or mad at him for not being honest about his feelings, or mad at him for only telling me this now when I’m supposed to be mad at him… 

My head is spinning. I'm dizzy.

I stuttered, finding it difficult to form a coherent sentence. “But, um, what, I… I liked you, too,” I decided to tell him the truth as well, seeming it was only fair, “I had a big fat crush on you. But I was embarrassed about it because I thought it was only in my head, and I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship.” I felt extremely embarrassed to reveal that, as I have kept it as a secret for so long, but felt relieved that it was finally out.

We didn’t say anything after that, and just maintained eye contact, our bodies still very close to each other, to the extent that our warm breaths merged together. He inched his face closer to mine, his eyes fixed on my lips. I could literally smell the flavor of his gum at this distance, causing me to gulp nervously. He touched my nose with his, slightly rubbing it in a teasing manner.

I could barely catch a breath and my eyes fluttered to his full, parted lips that were secretly inviting me to inch closer to them. My pulse was throbbing in my veins as Julian pressed his large body against mine, cutting the remaining space between us. He placed his hand tenderly on my cheek, stroking it with his thumb and my whole body tingled with pleasure as his lips met mine in a tender but hungry kiss.

My heart rose to my chest as the warm feeling of his mouth took over my entire being. His arms wrapped around my small frame tightly, and he only stopped kissing me for a fraction of a second so that he could refill his lungs with oxygen before claiming possession of my lips again.

I don’t know how long we have been in this situation, kissing one another, but I can’t say I was glad it was over.

I smiled at him, ecstatic from the kiss, but instantaneously frowned in confusion.

Where does this take us? Will he break up with Selma, or is this a spur-of-the-moment kind of thing? I started to panic. He basically cheated on Selma - and with me! 

There's no doubt she’s going to kill me if she knows about this. She will skin me, ship my bones to Africa, make them jewelry, and then wear them proudly around her neck.

His eyes noticed the sudden change of expression and looked at me knowingly as if he had expected I would be contemplating such matters. 

He sighed, and calmly said, “Look, Lia, I needed to do this for us to get proper closure. This kiss was to... seal the past. We expressed our emotions through this kiss but I want this to stay just between the two of us. I loved you, but I love Selma now, as much as that may sound crazy, but I do. I’m sorry if I got your hopes up, but I think it’s best to be friends, as we were.” He shamelessly said all this with confidence and arrogance like he was sure he did the right thing.

I nodded my head agreeably in silence. Right. He was truly right... I was foolish to think he would actually want to be with me. He just wanted to distract me. He probably knew about my feelings for him all along, and now wanted to use them against me. Mock me. Belittle me. 

I nodded and nodded along to his words, but my hand had a mind of its own and didn’t want to stay put. 

I slapped him hard across the face, leaving a nice red mark on his cheek. I shoved him away from me, pushing at his chest forcefully. I was surprised by my sudden actions but didn’t show it. “Julian, from this moment, you and I aren’t even friends. I won’t let you drag me into a love triangle. I’ve had enough of you stepping over my heart. And you better not piss me off or else I’ll tell Selma that you kissed me!” I roared at him in anger and marched back home, leaving him dumbfounded in the parking lot.

I waited for the tears to spill on the way home, but none of them came. Huh, weird. I should be feeling miserable that he used me like that, or angry that he tricked me, but instead I kind of felt… delighted?

I just got my first kiss and my first break up on the same day.

My life is melodramatic… but at least it’s not boring anymore.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s Monday.

I got up and decided to dress a bit nicer today. I pulled out from my closet a high-waisted pair of jeans and a red crop top that teasingly revealed a small bit of my cleavage. I felt edgy and wanted my outfit to reflect that kind of energy. As I was putting my clothes on, I thought about the week that passed.

After Julian and I’s incident, the days passed by quickly. Julian pretty much kept his distance, as threatened to do so, which pleased Selma very much and got her off my back. Which, in turn, put me at ease. I shuddered, thinking of the crazy stuff she would do if she found out about our kiss.

It was sad to think how my first kiss was with my childhood friend who by doing so, cheated on his girlfriend whom he initially only dated for the sole purpose of forgetting the feelings he had for me that I was too thick-headed to acknowledge.

How’s that for an interesting high school experience? 

I slipped my black boots on and headed for the door, but when I passed my reflection in the mirror, I noticed that something was missing. I looked at my appearance once again, and thought; why not accentuate my features a bit more? Add that extra 'spice.’ I pulled out the drawer in my nightstand and searched for it, rummaging around the cluster of mini objects I keep in there. Where did I put it?

Ah, there it is. I picked it up and grinned at it. A tube of dark red lipstick. Its shade matched the color of my shirt which I think would look flattering on me. I twisted off the cap and stood in front of my mirror. It took me a bit to figure out how to put it on without smudging it around my mouth, but the end result looked perfect. I smiled in satisfaction, blowing myself a kiss.

There, now I was ready to take over the world. I grabbed a black jacket so that I wouldn’t freeze myself during my walk to school, then went into the kitchen for food prep.

As I was preparing grandma and I’s breakfast, a thought dawned on me like a red flag. Today’s the day I meet that foreign student Mr. Reeges talked to me about. Gosh... How will he be like? Will he be mean or friendly? How good is his English? Will he like me or push me away? Will the work be too much? 

I grabbed the bowls of oatmeal and went to the living room. I gave grandma her bowl and sat on the couch to continue my silent rave of thinking. 

Is he handsome or not? A d**g addict? Alcoholic? Most importantly, is he clean? Oh, I hope he takes care of his hygiene, I won’t stand it if he smelled bad, ugh. 

Shoot; does he have any special needs I need to know about? What if he’s deaf, or blind, or in a wheelchair? 

Or all three? 

“Girlie, what in the world is the matter with you?” A voice said, unheard by me.

“Huh?” I said startled. Did Grandma say anything?

“I said, are you okay? What’s the matter with you?” grandma said worriedly. Her lips were pursed and eyebrows raised. 

I coughed awkwardly, “um, nothing, I was just thinking about school stuff. I'm alright,” I half-smiled sheepishly.

“Are you sure? If anything is wrong, you can tell me dear.” she pressed.

I sighed and shrugged my shoulders nonchalantly, “well, there’s a new student coming today whom I’m supposed to show around, and help get used to the school... and I was worried that he and I won’t get along. I mean, as you know, I don’t have that many friends...” I lowered my eyes to stare at the rug when I said the last sentence, trying hard not to feel sorry for myself.

Grandma slowly stood up from her chair, wobbling a bit before steadying herself, and stood in front of me. She motioned for me with her hands to stand up and I obliged her request. She smiled at me and opened her arms wide, the universal sign for ‘come give me a hug’. I beamed at her and hugged her immediately.

“You are a special girl, Audelia. No matter what happens, don’t forget that” she whispered in my hair. "You have my blood, so that's enough to make you invincible." 

I chuckled and hugged her tighter, breathing in her sweet lavender scent, amazed at how much better my mood has improved. Her embrace made me feel protected, and her sweet words gave me hope. As I once said before, she was my home.  

I smiled at her warmly, hoping a simple smile would be enough to express my gratitude for her presence. She seemed to understand that, for she smiled back and tapped my butt lightly with her palm jokingly, “now get your pretty bottom to school before you’re too late.” I giggled at her, wondering where she got this giddy energy from this early in the morning.

I would like buckets of that to go and please; keep the change.

I grabbed my stuff, locked the doors behind me, and began my morning jog to school. My mind wandered from Julian to the new student to grandma all the walk there.

It got me thinking of something I’ve read once before. An author compared the phenomenon of life to a floral garden. Some of the flowers in this garden bloomed naturally, while other flowers required more care for them to bloom and grow. Some flowers grew but were soon to be found withered, while others remained as seeds, unable to go further with the process.

I think about this comparison from time to time. I guess what it means is that some things occur naturally, and are not in anyone’s control. Some things we have to constantly work on to make possible. Other things work out in the beginning but eventually face a dead end. And some things… were never meant to be.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As soon as I arrived at school, I went straight to the principal’s office to meet with Mr. Reeges. He informed me on Friday that he would see me today to equip me with all the necessary information regarding the foreign student I was going to accompany. I sat patiently outside his office on one of the stiff plastic chairs, and stared at the floor, focusing on calming my thoughts. There was no time for my unnecessary anxiety now.

Thankfully, he wasn’t that late and greeted me with a wide grin. The kind of grin teachers give you only when you either hand them a decent gift for Teacher’s Day or when you’re working on something that serves their favor; like teaching a foreign student that needs extra academic help.

He shook my hand enthusiastically. “Good morning, Mrs. Warrick, hope you are well today.” He was one of those teachers that would pour all their heart and soul into school matters, which made me respect him more than the others.

“Good morning, Mr. Reeges. I am fine, thank you.” I greeted back, yet not with the same amount of enthusiasm.

“I’m glad you didn’t change your mind. Please, follow me into my office so we can discuss together the matters concerning Mr. Oswald. His folder doesn’t provide us with all the information, but those mentioned are sufficient.”

I followed him and took a seat in front of his wooden desk as he sat down in his office chair, rummaging in the drawers for what I assume was Mr. Oswald’s folder. I haven’t heard that name around before. But then again, he mentioned he was foreign so surely I wouldn’t have.

Mr. Reeges pushed his round glasses back up his nose as he skimmed through the folder. He cleared his throat, “Alright let’s see… He is originally from Spain… he was homeschooled for the majority of his life… he doesn’t have any allergies or special needs, so that's one less thing to worry about…  his mental health is good… his grades on the entrance exam were good but noticed his vocabulary was quite below average…um, what else… as for his hobbies, he enjoys um ‘kicking balls’? I'm assuming like soccer? Whatever that means…” he exhaled a long breath and tapped the folder on the desk, before laying it down and looking back at me. "Basically that covers everything we need."

He adjusted his tie, getting more serious. "Alright Audelia, let's lay down the tasks expected of you during this time." 

I nodded and crossed my legs in anticipation. Oh, boy. Here we go.

He stuck out his left thumb, pinching it with his right hand. "First, I have modified Mr. Oswald's schedule in such a way that you and he will be attending the same classes, except for Foreign Language. You will continue your Spanish classes as normal, but Mr. Oswald will be taking French, instead." 

"Okay, that's not a problem." I assumed that would be the appropriate course of action.

He nodded his head in affirmation and stuck out his forefinger. “Second, I would like you to inform him of the school policy, rules, dress codes, and all you can think of. He needs to know that high school is totally different from homeschooling, and there are certain behaviors expected of him.”

That is understandable. "Noted. that shouldn't be too big of a deal." I felt a bit relieved. It sounded fair enough, as I was excelling at all my classes, so I had no problem helping him. Plus, thinking about the benefits that will come out of this fuels me up with a boost of motivation.

Mr. Reeges then folded his hands together and leaned forward on his desk, lips pursed in concentration. His attitude visibly shifted. “I also wanted to ask you if you could do something else.”

I raised my right eyebrow in confusion. “What is that?” I was already agreeing on everything he requested, what else could he possibly want? Give the student my older notes? I was already planning on that. 

He placed his intertwined fingers under his chin thoughtfully, “Would you be able to tutor him after school, too?” I opened my mouth to object, but he held up his forefinger so that he could complete his thought. “I understand you have to watch over your sick grandmother, but would it be possible to meet in the school library for just an extra hour, or even invite him over to where you are staying? That way you can be close to your grandmother and help him catch up to school.” 

I uncrossed my legs, eyebrows furrowed, and leaned forward, closer to his desk. I placed my right hand on the edge of the desk, gripping it tightly. He was watching me intently, studying my reaction. “Mr. Reeges, I honestly can’t believe you are asking me to allow a stranger into my house - a stranger whom neither you nor I have any idea about his morality. How can I trust him to enter my home? What if he posed a threat?” I was careful not to raise my voice, yet when it came to grandma’s safety, I was as ferocious as a starving lion who just got his hands on fresh meat. I'd pounce on everyone who came near.

I think Mr. Reeges was taken aback by my response, but quickly straightened his back and replied carefully, “Well then, if you don’t change your mind, then I expect you to find an alternative way to provide Mr. Oswald with extra study sessions. You must provide him with at least 8 hours of tutoring a week.”

I sighed in defeat, shoulders slouched. It's too late to back out now. 

I would have to find a way to arrange a meeting on the weekends. And maybe even employ online sessions. I’ll figure it out, I always do. I nodded slowly, thinking it over again. “Alright, I will see what I can do.”

He clapped his hands in triumph, raising his fists in the air. “Great! It’s all settled then. Excuse me while I go check and see if he has arrived yet.” He got up from his seat and dashed to the door.

I exhaled nervously, hanging on to the edge of my seat. Okay, your job is easy, Audelia. No need to worry. You just have to see him, say hi, and introduce yourself, you know, like a normal human being does when they meet someone for the first time. Easy. Everyone goes through it. Breathe.

Let's practice. When he comes in the door, I'll simply and effectively stand up and say, 'Hello, I am Audelia, what is your name?'

Or wait, shouldn't I ask him how he was first? It's more polite and first impressions matter.

Let's try again. 'Hello, how are you? My name is Audelia and yours?'

Should I speak in Spanish? 

¿Hola como estas? Mi nombre es Audelia.

I facepalmed myself in frustration. What is wrong with me? 

Don't mess this up, Audelia.

I was so caught up in my swerving thoughts that I hadn't heard the door creak open, announcing that someone had entered the room. In my defense, the door was behind me so I couldn't see if someone came in. It wasn't until that certain person spoke that I was finally pulled out of my own mind and thrown into reality. 

"Audelia? Could that be you?" the stranger said, surprised yet also confused. 

Hold on a minute...

I instantly recognized that voice. I couldn't possibly forget it, it was the sexiest voice my ears have ever heard. 

Gulping nervously, I quickly - and painfully - turned my head in the direction of the door. My blue, wide eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets, and my jaw was hanging so low, it was practically sweeping the floor. But... but how?

"Easton?!" I exclaimed, utterly shocked and perplexed. "Your last name is Oswald?!"