When War Meets Love

Cherry

I tiptoed silently away from the door of grandma’s bedroom and walked to the fridge. What to prepare…

Scanning the available resources, I decided to make her some old-fashioned spaghetti. When the meal was ready, I placed a plate on the table with a note that read, ‘Grandma, I’m off to Julian’s. I won’t be long.’ I figured her nap won't be over any soon and she would not wake up before I left.

After eating my own lunch, I passed the remaining time by studying. I had to go over all the material I might have missed today. I didn’t know anyone who would lend me their notes. That’s if anyone took any.

At 3:50 pm, I put on my shoes, brushed my teeth and my hair, and then went out. I made sure to lock the doors well this time, not wanting a repetition of previous events.

Walking to Julian’s house, I got a sense of Deja Vu. I felt someone’s eyes piercing into the back of my head, but when I turned around, I didn’t see anyone. Goosebumps covered every inch of my body as if they were warning me that I was in some sort of trouble. I walked faster, trying to convince myself that it was my tired nerves playing tricks on me. It’s all in your head Audelia, I ranted.

I turned around once more and saw in the corner of my eye a black shadowy figure hide behind a red brick building in a swift gesture. Now I didn’t know whether or not to believe my peripheral vision, but I wasn’t about to wait and debate that matter now. I ran as fast as my weakened legs could carry me, and sprinted the rest of the way to Julian’s house, not once daring to look back for a peak.

Panting like a dog on a hot summer day, I opened the white pearly gates to Julian’s house and finally stopped running after closing the gate behind me. I put my hands on my knees and begged my lungs to expand themselves more and take all the oxygen they needed from the crisp autumn air breezing around. 

My hair probably looked like it was a bale of hay that was thrown around a couple of times by farmers in order to get it loose.

Finally able to respire like a normal human being, I turned around to observe my surroundings.

Julian’s car was parked out front and I could see Selma’s backpack sitting in the passenger seat. I groaned in annoyance. Couldn’t she have actually gone home for once? Or maybe even broken her leg in practice and went to the hospital? I cringed at how mean I sounded, and picked up myself in what I hope looked like confidence, and headed for the door.

I was greeted with Julian, who immediately pulled me in a loving hug, squeezing me and picking me up from the ground in his warm embrace, and then put me down to kiss me because he finally realized how much he loves me.

Oh, I wish that happened. I really, reallyyyyy do.

However, I was actually welcomed by Selma who, upon realizing it was me at the door, dropped her smile like a dead fly and replaced it with a scowl that was now etched profoundly on her face. How lovely.

“Why are you here?” she snarled. I rolled my eyes at her. Julian must not be in hearing range for her to be bold like that in his house.

“Julian invited me. You know, because he is my best friend and I’ve known him long before you have.” I have been waiting to tell her this ever since I met her obnoxious self. Sometimes she acts like I am just some girl that he recently befriended out of pity, like some kind of charity work. She had to be reminded that I was here first. That he was mine before he was ever hers.

I crossed my arms in front of my chest in an attempt to look more feisty and daunting. I purposefully shoved her with my shoulder, internally cheering myself for showing her her true place. That didn’t last long, however, as she added smugly, “Oh yeah, well I know him in more ways than you can ever dream of.” That stabbed me straight in the heart. Inevitably, she would pull that card out of the deck and shove it right in my face to taunt me.

She showed you now, didn’t she?

Shut up Audelia, this is no time for self-bullying.

I refused to let her see how her remark affected me and went to look for Julian instead. He wasn’t in the living room so I went up the stairs to see if he was in his room. I knew this house like the back of my hand. I practically spent my whole childhood here, playing with Julian’s toys, swimming in Julian’s pool, strumming Julian’s guitar, eating Julian’s snacks, and even sleeping in Julian’s bed sometimes for our afternoon naps.

I sighed reminiscently. Those were the simple days; when our only concern was whether the lollipops were strawberry flavored and not cherry. We hated cherry. But when we grew up, we realized that everything tasted like cherry, and we were forced to suckle all of it – whether we liked it or not.

Still caught up in my wandering thoughts, I unconsciously opened the door to Julian’s room, forgetting to knock before doing so.

Oh Lord, have mercy on my soul.

Fresh out of the shower, Julian was standing beside the bathroom door wearing nothing but a towel that was loosely wrapped around his torso, his back facing me. I didn’t know which part of him I wanted to admire more. His dark, smooth hair was oozing droplets of water that dripped down his chiseled back whose muscles flexed with Julian’s every move, as he was drying his hair with a small towel.

Was I drooling? I probably was.

I closed my open mouth and evaded my eyes just as Julian turned around to see who had rudely barged into his room.

He looked at me with eyebrows raised. “Oh, I thought you were Selma. When did you arrive?” he asked, confused. 

On the inside, I was a bit hurt he said that. Like Selma's presence was more preferred. He didn’t mean it to sound like that, but my sensitive self couldn’t help but feel like I was maybe unwelcomed.

Well, what did you expect, Audelia? You invaded his privacy and you want him to be nice to you? My subconscious added mockingly.

I shook my head. I am definitely going crazy.  

“I just came, and then I went looking for you,” I chuckled sheepishly, “and, well… here you are... in your room...in nothing but a towel... I’ll wait for you downstairs.” I didn’t wait for him to respond, as I dashed down the stairs trying to hide my embarrassed, flushed face. I looked like a ripe tomato. 

Why am I so awkward?

Selma was at the foot of the stairs, manicured hands on her small hips and her heel tapping the floor rapidly. She glared at me like she was about to cut my pretty head off. “What the hell were you doing up in Julian’s room?” she hissed like the snake she was.

I answered her with nothing but a deadpan and blank-eyed stare, making her understand it was none of her business. I tried walking past her into the kitchen to get a glass of water, but she grabbed my arm roughly, stopping me short. Her long acrylic nails were digging into my skin, but I didn’t feel pain as much as I felt fury. I was so sick and tired of her bossing me around.

“I asked you a question you stupid freak!” she spat. “Answer me, you dumb bi-”

I don’t know where I got the strength from, but I tore her hand off my arm and shoved her away from me. From the force of the push, she landed face-front on the stairs. But my temporary satisfaction didn’t last more than a millisecond, as Julian picked the perfect timing to get out of his room to witness the misfortunate act of violence.

I panicked; the realization of what I have done catching up to me like a fire on fuel. Guilt filled me up and I dropped down to my knees to see if Selma was okay, but as soon as I touched her, she let out a terrifying scream, thrashing her arms wildly in my direction. Julian was staring at us dumbfounded. In his eyes, I attacked his girlfriend and pushed her on the stairs.

“Please, please don’t hit me again, I beg you! I’m really hurt this time, stop, please.” Selma pleaded like the boy who cried wolf. I was caught off guard. What does she mean by ‘this time’?  She had the audacity to lie so confidently and make herself look like the victim, like the damsel in distress. Oh, how I loathed her.

“Julian, take her away from me, please, I’m scared. She attacked me for no reason!” she resumed her chain of lies. What a nasty actress. 

I staggered back, feeling like I just received a punch to the face. And to put injury on the wound, Julian believed every single word that came out of her venomous mouth. He glared at me, his face turning red from fury, lips pursed into a thin line.

Never, EVER, has Julian looked at me this way before.

He ran down the stairs and picked Selma up from the ground, hugging her so tenderly. He held her up and gently lied her down on the couch, making sure he was careful, and placed a pillow under her head. All this while he hadn’t said a word, but the heavy air around him spoke for itself.

He then met my watery eyes, and marched over to me, fury building up in his eyes like a storm. He grabbed my arm – if people could stop doing that, it would be nice, thanks – forcefully dragging me behind him as he stormed out of the room and into the kitchen. He was heaving with anger and I could tell he was trying to control himself. Julian was in nature a cool, calm, and collected person, but when he does get angry – run.

I wanted to defend myself and tell him Selma was lying, but I struggled to find the exact words. I didn’t know how to explain what had happened. What could I say anyway? 'Yes, Julian, I pushed her but did that only after she stabbed me with her nails and called me horrible names.' 

No, I sound like a fifth-grader whining to her teacher.

“Audelia, can you tell me why you harassed my girlfriend?” he bellowed. I winced at how loud and angry the yell he emitted was. It hurt my ears and my feelings, too. My heart tore with every word he roared. Doesn’t he know by now that I have never hurt nor will ever hurt anyone in my life? I’m a peaceful person and he knows that. Or he should know that, at least.

“I didn’t mean to actually hurt her, I just shoved her away from me because I -” he didn’t let me finish.

“Because why? Whatever she said or did, doesn’t give you the right to be violent with her! Don’t you dare deny doing it, I saw it with my own eyes, and my eyes won’t lie to me, unlike yourself! I mean I know you guys aren’t close, but violence?! You have stooped low this time…You should be ashamed of yourself.” The tone of disappointment and disgust in his voice shredded my aching soul to pieces.

I was speechless, unable to say or do anything other than open and close my mouth like a fish fresh out of water. Words were failing me, just like the trust in this friendship was failing me. It was floating on a sinking ship, not sure when it will inevitably drown. Selma was the one punching the holes in this ship, and Julian was the blind captain, unaware of it all. I was forced to ride, unable to stop the evil villain, and unable to warn the captain.

“Julian, she was hurting me too, you didn’t see her when she grabbed me and -”

“Audelia, stop, just stop. You know… Selma was right. You are jealous of her. I tried telling her it wasn’t true, but I see it now perfectly clear. You are, yes,” he said fully convinced that the words he was throwing in my face were true. “I mean why wouldn’t you be? She’s popular, hot, and dating someone like me. You want to be her, but can’t, because you’re, well…you.” He pulled at his hair in distress, pacing around the kitchen floor. He kept looking back and forth between me and the ceiling, unsure of what to say next.

Don’t cry, Audelia, don’t you dare cry now. No crying is allowed. But alas, a tear escaped my grip and rolled down my cheek. That one rebellious tear started a revolution and other tears followed it, refusing to follow the rule I had legalized.

It seemed like all I could do in this moment was cry. He called me by my full name, disrespected me, and called me a liar. He betrayed our friendship, humiliated me, and broke my heart. Of course, I was going to cry.

“Save your crocodile tears,” he spat. His eyes were narrowed in disdain and his lips bent into a frown. 

This isn’t the Julian I knew. Not the Julian I grew up with. This was the ghost of him, his skin. Selma was the puppeteer, controlling him by his strings, and he was the cute puppet, dancing along. When will he become aware of these strings? 

I shook my head at him in disbelief. I have officially lost him to her. She took him from me so easily, that I guess he was never mine, to begin with.

“I think you should leave Audelia. Now.” I gasped softly at his blunt request. That was the last blow, extinguishing my last flame.

“Don’t worry. I never stay in places I’m not welcome in. I guess now you don’t have to handle the burden that is named Audelia anymore,” I said, cursing my brittle voice for sounding so weak and quivery. I gave him one last glance, non-audibly delivering my goodbyes, before I flew out of there, carrying the tiny bits of whatever was left of my heart and dignity. 

Julian Wright, you have scarred me - completely damaged me. 

I ran out, blinking the wave of tears away just enough for me to see where I was going. I couldn’t go home and let my grandma witness the waterfall of tears I had going on. I turned the corner, and allowing my feet to carry me away, I zoomed past a couple of blocks in our quiet neighborhood and proceeded to the local park.

I threw my tired body onto a wooden bench that was isolated from the crowd of people and noisy kids, located just under the shade of an oak tree. A small breeze comforted me, like a soft hand on my shoulder. I buried my face in my hands and wept in silence, the events replaying over and over in my head like a movie.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to shout that this world is not fair. Why can’t I be like all the other girls my age? Why can’t I have a full family that loved and protected me? Why can’t I have real friends that stand by my side and care for my well-being? Why can’t I be free to go about this world without constantly being worried about the welfare of an elderly woman? 

 My head suddenly felt heavy and I grew dizzy. It was getting harder for me to breathe and my face burned red. A tiny dark thought crossed my mind where I hoped I could just lay here on this bench and die. Let the pit of darkness engulf me and take me to where it pleases, as long as I’m away from here.

But... Why am I suddenly wishing I could die and leave this world? I’m desperate, but not suicidal.

I took in a deep breath, filling up my lungs with fresh air, and slowly letting it out in the chance that all my troubles will escape my body with it. In the process of repeating this meditating step, a voice caused me to jolt in fright, making me clutch my rapidly beating heart.

“Would you like some water?” a deep, smoky voice had asked, breaking the silence like he simply pressed pause on this world. I turned around slightly to see a hand offering a bottle of cold water, the dewdrops still dripping on its outer skin. My vision proceeded its journey as my eyes traveled from his pale hand to his muscular arm to his face.

Oh - holy macaroni. Did I truly die and go to heaven?

Behind me stood a breathtaking angel. His pale skin made him look as if he was carved straight out of heaven’s clouds, in contrast to his black hair that was as dark as the night sky. His emerald green eyes were pulchritudinous, bright enough to pierce straight through your soul. His jawline was so sharp and prominent, it seemed that if you were to lay your finger on it, it will cause you to bleed. 

I hadn’t noticed that I was holding my breath all this time until I had to provide an answer to his offer. “Uh, thanks, yeah,” I breathed. I took the water bottle from his hand and took a large swig of it, the coolness of the water soothing my head and throat. I placed my cold hand on my forehead and took a shaky breath. I looked up at him to thank him once again for his kindness, and he flashed a striking smile, his teeth pearly white.

Boy was he charming.

“May I?” he asked, pointing to the empty spot on the bench next to me. I nodded shyly, “I don’t mind.”

I don’t know why I allowed him to sit beside me. I usually would be running home by now, as I don't like strangers talking to me. And I absolutely never accept things from them, nonetheless edible ones.

But this man had this aura, this certain quality that made the air around us easier to breathe, and the sky a few shades lighter. He didn't seem like he could cause any trouble.

I was aware that we have been staring at each other in content, without saying a word. Each one taking in the features of the other. But surprisingly enough, it wasn’t in an awkward way. 

It was equivalent to when you find yourself admiring a portrait in a museum and you feel it looking back at you; unaware that your lips have stretched into a smile of appreciation.

Breaking the sweet silence, this handsome man stretched out his hand. “I’m Easton, nice to meet you,” he introduced himself in an accent I couldn't pinpoint, offering a welcoming smile. 

I timidly returned the gesture. “Audelia,” I shook his hand, “and the pleasure is all mine.”

Am I actually socializing? Why? How? An alarm went off in my head and I didn’t know whether to run or stay put. He was so friendly, and warm, but I know better than to gain the acquaintance of someone I know nothing about.

He must have noticed that I got anxious and hesitated because he explained the reason for him talking to me. “I apologize if I bothered you. I didn’t mean to invade your privacy, but I was walking by and noticed that you were upset and you looked all troubled, so I thought I would offer you some water to calm down. I even, um, bought the bottle from the convenience store two blocks from here. ” he was justifying his actions in a hurried tone as if I was about to take off suddenly. 

Frankly, it was quite hard to focus on what he said while he was talking. His voice was divine and his striking eyes never broke contact with mine, making it a struggle for me to look away.

This man was not cherry. He was definitely strawberry. 

Wow, I should really pull myself together.

I cleared my throat. “That was very kind of you, Easton. Thanks for the help, but I think I have to go home now. I’ve left my grandma alone longer than I should have.” I wanted to face-palm myself for mentioning my grandma but waved the matter off, sure that he won’t possibly think much of it.

He nodded understandingly, “yes, sure, of course. Umm... I’m kind of new here, and don’t know anyone. Would it be alright if we hung out sometime?” he asked me with wide puppy eyes. The logical part of me knew to refuse, yet something in him drew me closer to him.

But the thought of grandma waking up alone in the house alarmed me like a fire drill and brought me back to my senses. I stood up abruptly, determined to go back to the house immediately. “Welcome to our town, you’ll hate it here, but I really have to go now. I hope to see you around, bye!” I spoke in a rush, placing the water bottle on the bench.

I waved goodbye and quickly walked towards the park’s exit, while he muttered a confused goodbye. I picked up my pace a bit more and was at a far distance away from him when I thought I heard him say something else. I shrugged it off; assuming it was nothing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Grandma, why did you put it on this channel?” I groaned in boredom as a Korean drama was playing from the television in full blast. I obviously didn’t understand a word of what was being said, but grandma was too amused to care.

“Because they are funny. Don’t you see? He wanted her to cook him rice cakes and noodles, but she made them too salty, and now he wants to punish her by making her eat them all. Look how she makes those funny faces! She is so cute, and the boy is enjoying it.” I shook my head at her. She never fails to surprise me, finding this kind of stuff humorous. 

I sighed, and went to my room, walking like a zombie, my shoulders slouched. I was glad that grandma hadn’t noticed the puffiness of my eyes or else she would force me to tell her why I was crying. Even though it would be easy to tell her the truth, seeming that she was most probably going to forget about it the next day, but it was too painful to acknowledge and say out loud. I couldn’t tell her that I lost my best friend because of some random girl’s hateful attitude.

I reached under my bed for a small blue box that contained one of the most precious pieces of jewelry I own– a silver bracelet from mom and dad. I never wear it outside the house because I’m too scared to lose or ruin it. It is too special for me to risk. A few charms hang on it; the planet Earth, a heart, a space ship, and a square with the indent ‘WW’ that was similar to the one on my book. 

I wore it and twirled my wrist, watching the small crystals embedded on it glisten under the light. I wish I could see my parents, tell them about my problems, ask them for advice and listen to them ramble about their own teenage experiences. I wanted one little moment where I bond with them like a normal family. 

At least I know they were excited to have me, but I ruined that for them. Mom died because of me, and eventually so did dad.

They left me because I made them leave. I was the reason, the person to blame. And now Julian left, too. It was my fault.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

School was tough.

I had to wake up half an hour earlier just so I could make it in time. My legs were throbbing and my ankles looked swollen from all that walking and jogging. I loathed Selma. I wish she could disappear, vanish in thin air. I wish that when the cheerleaders throw her, they don’t catch her and she breaks her jaw.

When I made it to school, I figured out that everyone knew about Julian and I’s falling out, as I’ve been treated both worse and better by the student body. Girls were exceptionally cruel to me and guys were friendly, approaching me to flirt.

Either way, I hated the extra attention. I thought that being away from Julian was going to result in more loneliness, but these people are so unpredictable.  

During lunchtime, I debated whether to go to the cafeteria or sit outside on the steps. I wanted to be away from people, but on the other hand, it was Taco Tuesday and I have been craving them since the morning. 

I sighed, my growling stomach won this time.

I entered the cafeteria and tried ignoring the stares headed in my direction. Yeesh, what a jungle. I got in line and got the taco I wanted, with extra cheddar. The shell was a bit soggy but was still better than nothing.

I took my lunch tray to the empty table I always sit on. I took my first bite, savoring the taste of the shell, beef, and cheese. The crunching sound my mouth was making was sensual and satisfactory. I tried not to moan in pleasure, not wanting more reasons for people to stare at me.

After taking the second bite, a blond boy in a camouflage shirt came into my view, and by the looks of it, he didn’t come to ask me about my notes or homework.

“Hey gorgeous,” he began, “how you doin’?” it sounded like he was trying to pull off an impersonation, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. I drew my eyebrows together in confusion. This was the third boy today who talked to me. What is happening?

I stayed silent, mouth full of food, contemplating what his intentions were as well as the other guys.

He waved his hand in my face to get my attention. Cocky much?

“You know, when they said you and Julian fought, I was really glad. I mean don’t get me wrong, but that guy has been threatening everyone around for ages; said if we came near ya he’d cut our weiners off, that you were special to him and we can’t even frickin talk to you.” He said this casually, gesturing with his hands as he spoke.

Can this possibly be true?

Was the cause of my loneliness all this time Julian? So he had the right to have a girlfriend but I couldn’t have a boyfriend? I can’t believe him! He made me miss out on billions of school events because I couldn’t find a date or a partner. I always had to feel like the third wheel when I went out with them; like I was a heavy burden.

I was fuming. Outraged. How dare he?!

The stupid boy was still yammering about it, not noticing how my blood was boiling under my skin.

I got out of my seat and scanned the room for that infuriating narcissistic egoistic jerk, but he wasn’t in here.

The imbecile in front of me stood up as well, asking me what was wrong and if I needed anything. Without saying a word, I sat back down and ate the rest of my lunch, ignoring the pesky boy.

I’ll have to face Julian later then. I won’t let this pass so easily.

I'll show him cherry.