Secret Affinity

20

Crimson and I had made time to go shopping together this week. With Christmas coming soon, Dad and I decide to get some decorations later.

He had barely any time to talk. I barely saw him, and he wasn’t on the phone for more than ten minutes. Though it worried me, I couldn’t do anything about it. I missed him.

I went to pick up Liara from APE right after school. Both of our colds disappeared within a week, and the weather wasn’t too bad after that day.

When we returned home, I saw a red Bentley parked on the McCoys’ driveway. Liara touched the surface with her fingertips as I walked up the porch and knocked on the door. No one answered, and I knocked again. I heard voices when Ally opened the door, but when she saw me, she stopped talking.

Liara went inside. “Can I come in?” I asked. Silence. “Is Elise home? Is anyone home?”

“I have friends over,” she said flatly. “And Arian is home all day to look after Andy. Bye.”

Before she shut the door, I saw a familiar face pop up in front of me. “Hey, Ari!” Nixon said, a large smile forming on his face.

“What’re you doing here?” I asked him. He told me he dropped off his sister and Ally since they had a play date.

“It’s not a play date,” Ally said, rolling her eyes. “You know him?” she asked me. I nodded, and Nixon asked me if I was coming in.

I did and waited on the couch. I saw another face very similar to Nixon’s. She had freckles on her nose, blonde hair, and a gorgeous smile. This was probably Nixon’s sister, Lexia.

“I was going to leave,” Nixon said, sitting beside me. Ally sat next to Lexia, frowning. “But Ally wouldn’t let me. I think she loves me.”

“Excuse me?” Ally said, but she was trying to hold back a smile. “It’s not my fault you’re a hot guy.”

Nixon laughed. “I’m too old for you.” Lexia made a disgusted face and shook her head.

“I know you are,” Ally said. “So is Harry Styles, but I love him. More than you.”

“Aw, tough competition,” he said, pretending an arrow hit his heart. I didn’t expect Nixon and Lexia to come over to the McCoys’ house, and I certainly didn’t expect Nixon to stay knowing Arian lived here.

“Why are you so quiet?” Nixon said, nudging me. I told him I was always quiet. “Okay, you are. I didn’t see you at lunch today.” I told him I was eating with Crimson, and he made a face.

“Are you two friends?” Ally asked. Nixon shrugged, and she wore a dark expression. “Does any guy have a legit, proper relationship with her?”

“It’s her personal business,” Nixon said. “I’d say we’re like friends.” Friends? When did we decide that? I only helped him once on his assignment.

“Nixon, don’t you have school work or something?” Ally said, suddenly growing annoyed. Lexia gave her a nervous glance. “You can go now.”

“Meh,” he said, stretching his arms over his head.

“You were going to go,” Ally argued, and she paused when he looked around. “Are you here for some other reason?”

He smirked. “Maybe.” Ally took Lexia upstairs, and I heard their loud voices from downstairs. Nixon asked me if I came over to Ally’s house often, and I said whenever I was free. He became serious, arms folded and nodding slowly. Andy came downstairs and waved at me.

“Ally told me you came over,” he said and stood in front of me.

“Who’s he?” Nixon said, and Andy introduced himself. “Hey, little guy.” And to me he whispered, “He’s so cute.” I nodded and smiled at Andy.

“Where did mommy and grandma go?” I asked him. Andy said they went shopping. They were supposed to be back by now, but they weren’t.

Andy wanted to play in the living room, so I helped him set up his toys. Nixon played with him for a bit, and they were loud enough for Ally to complain from upstairs.

“You’re pretty good with kids,” I told Nixon. He said he had a lot of cousins that were little kids and he loved to play with them.

“And, also to impress the girls,” Nixon said, smiling. Uh. It was an attractive quality for a guy to be good with kids, not to impress girls, but if they actually liked it.

Arian came downstairs when Nixon and Andy shouted together. His eyes travelled from Andy, to me, to Nixon.

“Well, hello Arian,” Nixon said, sitting back.

“Why are you in my house?” Arian said. Nixon ignored his flatness, stood up and told him I was in the house, too. “I dislike you more than her. So leave.”

“So you don’t like her?” Nixon said and smiled in satisfaction when Arian looked piqued. Nixon put his hands up. “Okay, I’m going. Bye Andy.” Nixon faced me. “Tell Lexia to call me when she needs to be picked up.” As soon as Nixon completely left the house, Arian looked at me like it was my fault.

“Babysitters don’t allow random strangers to come in and leave whenever they want,” he said. It was only Nixon. Why was he being so picky?

“It’s unspoken language,” I said. “Strangers let other strangers come in and go out as they please.” I knew I got Arian when he didn’t counter.

“Arian! Get us two cokes!” Ally called from her bedroom. He didn’t move.

“Are you going to go get it for her?” I asked. The answer was a no. I went to the kitchen and got out two pop cans. It wasn’t to be nice, but to see how dependent Ally was on Arian.

When she found out it was me getting the drinks, she said to take them back. Lexia took her can, and I returned with the other. I put the coke aside and leaned back against the counter in thought.

“Don’t try to be too nice,” Arian said, coming into the kitchen. I could tell he knew exactly what happened. He reached for the can I left on the counter.

“You and Ally…” I said. “I know I’m being too personal, but, she—sure, she doesn’t like me, but I feel like there’s another, different reason to why. When I look at her closely, she’s not that bad.”

Arian opened the pop can, the gas sizzling out. “Maybe.” He turned the can in this hand and examined it. “Most people, when looked closely at, are not bad.”

“Yeah…” I said, staring at the floor. “Like you.” When the words came out, I didn’t know how to take them back. “I don’t mean that you’re bad.”

Arian put the can back on the counter and approached me. My eyes lifted. “I know I’m bad,” he said. He towered me with an unseen authority. Control. “And I should stay that way.” What? Where was the logic in that? But the way he said it, it carried a meaning I didn’t get. He bent so his eyes were in level with mine. “Bad can mean annoying, too.”

“Oh, then that means me, right?” I said, averting my eyes. “I don’t even know why I annoy you so much.” I stretched the hairband on my wrist. “Ally’s the one who invited Nixon’s sister, and that’s why he stayed. I didn’t know anything about it.” He also told me never to talk to him, and all the city issues came back to mind. “See, I’m still talking to you when you told me not to. Lately, I can’t listen to anyone. I’m just losing my mind slowly, everyday. I have so many questions about the NOs, NRs—”

Arian moved forward, his arms extending to the counter and caging me against it. His movement surprised me, and he was close. So close, the closest I'd ever been to him—especially when I'd only ever seen him push others away, not get closer.

The intensity of his eyes was sharp, and I pressed back to the counter. I was frozen, words dead in my mouth and breath held.

“You talk too much,” Arian said, his gaze solid. “That’s annoying.” A chill went down my spine, and my shoulders caved in. “This will make you leave.”

“L-let me go then, I got—I have to go,” I stuttered, but he stood still. I broke through his arms and hurried out of the kitchen.

Before I flew out of the house, the door opened and Julianna and Elise came inside. Julianna’s eyes were wide but in a trance, and she went straight upstairs. In confusion, I asked Elise if everything was alright.

Elise sighed. “Let’s just say, she saw someone she wasn’t supposed to see.”

“Where?” Arian asked, walking towards us. I shuddered a little when he stopped next to me.

“At the mall,” Elise said. “Where else?” Who was that ‘someone’ she was referring to? Elise patted my shoulder. “You shouldn’t worry. Are you going to work?”

“I’m taking the bus,” I said quickly. Elise asked me what happened. “Nothing, I-I just miss the bus. It’s alright. I’ll manage on my own.”

“Did you both of you fight again?” Elise said with a blank tone. It wasn’t a fight. I couldn't even begin to think what it was.

“I’ll see you later,” I told Elise and left without turning back.

--

As the week came to a close end, Crimson and I went shopping. She asked me how much I knew about the mall and laughed when I answered.

She replied, saying, “You don’t know real shopping. I’ll show you real shopping.” To me, all shopping was pretty real.

None of the McCoys were home this Saturday, not like I was complaining. I didn’t go that often anymore. I only picked up Liara from school, and that was it. The reason was Arian, but it was nothing like last time.

For days, I didn’t talk to him at all. I tried to avoid making eye contact with him or even go near him. I didn’t know he could get this scary. If it wasn’t fear, I didn’t know what it was. Overwhelming intimidation?

Crimson and I drove in her car. Since I had groceries to get too, it was a great help. She told me she’d eat paper than go grocery shopping.

With the beginning of December, the hype for Christmas sales and advertisements grew. Andy’s birthday was near the beginning of the month, and mine was towards the end.

“Can you hurry up?” Crimson nagged. We were walking around the food aisles in search for my groceries. “You could’ve gone another day by yourself.”

“But I have to carry everything by myself,” I told her, picking up a box of crackers. “Your car’s a big help.”

“Thanks a lot,” she mumbled. She followed me with the cart, and I dumped my items inside. Boy was she ever glad when we finally waited in line for the cashier.

The NE members were in the store, as per usual. Ignoring them became a habit, and they no longer gave me the chills. We put all my grocery bags into Crimson’s car and went back into the mall for ‘real’ shopping as Crimson described.

“For your information,” Crimson said while we walked across the stores, “the people standing around like guards are part of the NR stuff. You’d be surprised to know there are some people from our school working as them.”

For once, I was happy to know that bit of information before she told me. I didn’t see the same NE Force every time I went to the mall, and even if I did, they were at different locations.

“This is a great store for shoes,” Crimson said, making an abrupt turn into a shop. I didn’t have much of a fetish for shoes as Crimson did but followed with an open mind.

Crimson had a fetish for just about everything. We went to shoes stores, clothing stores, stores only for hats, stores dedicated to makeup, and even stores for jewelry.

“You don’t know Sephora?” Crimson asked me with her eyes wide. I shook my head. “Okay, okay, maybe you’re not a makeup freak like me, but you should at least know the name.”

She made me try on cool, alternative outfits and get a free trial makeup. With her, it wasn’t shopping but the feeling of freedom and enjoyment. It was totally worthless without purchasing anything but a very memorable day. Dad would’ve loved to know about it, and Mom would’ve screamed in joy.

We stopped at the food court to eat lunch, and she ordered some Thai food. I was alright with spice since I grew up eating occasional Asian food.

“I love spicy food, but I can’t,” her eyes began to water, “I can’t handle it. You know it’s such a shame when Fabian makes the best Thai chicken ever, but I can’t even eat it.”

“Fabian? He cooks?” I asked, and she paused to rethink what she said. “I want to eat his food someday.”

“Whatever.” She took a bite of her food and remained silent. When we were done eating, we walked aimlessly around the mall.

Against the large fountain, we saw a lined group of NE Agents. All of them were wearing white coats with the black Nightingale symbols. They were standing like an organized army with their commanders walking around them. These commanders were Nightingale Officials.

An NE member stopped us from walking there and told us to go somewhere else. Reluctantly, I followed Crimson towards another store that caught her eyes.

“Ignore it, Ari,” Crimson told me. “The more you ignore, the less trouble. Especially with the Officials, the people in all white clothes. They scare the s**t out of me. The NE Agents are regular youngsters, so they’re pretty chill.”

When she began explaining who the NE Agents were, I stopped her. I assumed this was general knowledge for all Brilliant Cove citizens, but I was interested beyond the simple stuff.

Crimson wanted to go to the third floor, so we went to the elevators. I didn’t know the mall even had elevators until she showed me. It was see-through and had no big line-ups.

Rowan was waiting in front of the elevator while wearing his NE shirt. When he saw us, he smiled and said hello.

“Rowan, you’re not wearing your coat,” I told him. Crimson gave me a look, and Rowan stilled.

“s**t,” he said under his breath and looked around. “Okay, yeah, thanks for reminding me. I’ll go get it.” He ran off. What was wrong with him?

“What coat?” Crimson asked me. I told her he was an NE Agent. “Rowan? He couldn’t even become a part of the NE Force without a recommendation. No way. He’s not an NE Agent.”

I didn’t know what she was talking about and what Rowen did. When he came back, surprisingly with Arian, I had a new series of doubts.

“Heh, I forgot it,” he said to me, adjusting the coat. I was focusing on Arian, though. I didn’t plan on facing him and didn't expect to in this way.

“Crimson, can we use the escalators?” I said to her. Crimson said the elevator was quicker and she was too lazy. I was the last to get on the elevator. Crimson and I were standing against one side, and Rowan and Arian were standing on the other side.

“You come here pretty often,” Rowan commented, breaking the silence. Crimson gave him a weird look.

“Aren’t you an NE member. Why are you even talking to us?” she said. Rowan shrugged. “And why are you always with Arian? Don’t you have some other things to do?”

“We’re good friends,” Rowan said in his defense. “Arian, you were the one who helped me become—”

“Everyone shut up,” Arian cut off, and his eyes met mine. “Being in an elevator together doesn’t mean it’s free-talk time.”

“Okay, whatever biker dude,” Crimson said and folded her arms. “By the way, why don’t I see you near the bakery anymore?” I trained my eyes on the silver railing.

“Ask your friend,” Arian said. When we reached the second floor, I begged Crimson to get off.

“Do you have claustrophobia or something?” Crimson frowned. More people entered the elevator, and we were forced to the back.

To my bad luck, I ended up next to Arian. Crimson and Arian both saw my discomfort, and I myself didn’t know why I was edgy.

“Hey, you’re crushing me,” Crimson scowled. I apologized and stood straight.

Everyone emptied from the elevator, and Crimson and I were among the last. While walking between the stores, Crimson looked at me pensively. I asked her about it and she shook her head.

“You’re really awkward around him,” she said. “I mean Arian. I don’t know what happened, but you act like something’s burning down when he’s around.”

“It’s nothing,” I mumbled.

She chuckled. “Nothing? You avoid him at school and try every way possible to get rid of him. I mean, the poor guy didn’t even do anything in bio and you wanted Nixon to switch seats with you.”

“I didn’t…that wasn’t,” I tried to make an excuse. But she was right. I was overreacting.

In the process of avoiding him, I hadn't realized I was being rude to him. I wasn’t even sure what happened, but I got overwhelmed. Now, I was taking it to the extremes. Perhaps I’d have it all sorted out soon. I’d go back to normal, and I knew what my normal was.

We went to Toys R’ Us to get a toy for Andy. I wasn’t really sure if that list he made was fulfilled, but what I could give, or buy, was a horse. And maybe give him a hug. I could do that.

“You should give him Woody,” Crimson said, getting excited when we walked through the shelves of toys. “Or maybe Buzz Lightyear!”

“Stop,” I told her, a smile spreading on my face.

“Don't underestimate the power of that Toy Story reference. You can even engrave Andy's name under the shoes—”

“Okay, I get it!” I laughed.

It felt good to goof around in the mall with a friend. It was simply fun, but I wondered how I'd survived all along not being able to feel this until now.

Back at home, Crimson helped me put the groceries away and suggested playing in the snow since there was plenty outside. She wanted to play with the kids next door, so I asked Elise if it was okay. She told me to be careful and watch over them.

“Oh my god! He’s so cuuuute!” Crimson said, grabbing Andy’s cheeks. “Am I invited to your birthday party?” He rubbed his cheeks and nodded. “God, God, God, he’s so cute.”

Crimson and I had little snowball fights on our own, and we helped make forts with Andy. Liara made little snowmen all along the driveway, past the lawn, along the McCoys’ driveway, and past their lawn. There were eight in total.

“This is my family,” Liara said proudly. I tapped three of her snowmen, and she was confused.

“This is my family,” I told her. She asked me who the third one was. “My mom. We’re only three.”

“No.” Liara shook her head and stretched her arms as wide as the snowmen went. “This is aaaaaall your family.” Crimson smiled when Liara gave me a hug around the waist.

Nothing yet had ever made me so happy.