Helping my crush

Chapter eleven - Telling him everything

Bella's POV:

I tried to stay away from Chris as much as possible, but I failed. No matter how much I want to do it, I can't. I don't know what he has done, but I want him close to me. Even only as a friend. Since he started talking with me, I feel better. Chris is great, and I would love to have him as my friend. One week. I managed to stay away from him for exactly one week. Then he came to talk with me, and I gave in. Up to now, I haven't had problems with that. I mean that Jessy wants to date Chris, but he is not paying attention to her at all. It's not like this is my business. As long as she is not bothering me, I am good. After all, I don't want more problems. It's not like I don't have enough. Dad is still the main one. At least Emily is not mad at me anymore. I left her in miss Adams's house that day. I try not to argue with dad much when she is at home, but sometimes I can't handle it. He is impossible. All I wanted was dad to be normal. More and more, I realize that this is impossible. Not if he doesn't help himself. No matter what I do, it will be useless if he doesn't do something. It's easy on words. In reality, this is very hard. Maybe Chris's parents can help me with that. No, I can't ask them for that. They already have enough work. I will deal with this by myself. Up to now, I have survived, so I have to keep fighting. I believe that one day dad will be who he used to be.

It's Friday. Usually, I am excited about the weekend, but not today. I plan to invite Chris and his parents for dinner. His sister can play with Emily. I can use the chance to make dad stay at home. Chris and I are only friends, but he doesn't know that. Otherwise, he will go out again, and I have to spend the night with Emily as usual. It's not like I mind. I have already got used to this. It would be nice if dad spent more time at home. Well, I can't make him do what I want. After all, he is an adult.

I woke up and went to get ready. Sometimes I get tired of doing the same things every day. It's not like I have a choice. I won't leave Emily without breakfast. Today I will make pancakes. Before, I did them a lot, but lately, I have decided to try different recipes. Also, eating the same food every day is boring. While there was a pancake in the pan, I started Emily's lunch. Today I will put her French fries with meatballs. For dessert, I put her a banana and a cupcake. When everything was ready, I called her and dad. Well, only she came.

- Is dad still sleeping?

- Maybe. I called him, but he didn't say anything.

- Can I play with Jasmine today?

- I have a better idea and I think you will like it.

- What is it?

- I was thinking of inviting Jasmine and her parents home for dinner. You can play with her how much you want.

- Really? You know that she has a brother, right?

- I do. After all, we go to the same school.

- Can she come after school with me?

- I'm sorry, but I have to get ready.

- We won't disturb you. Please.

- Fine. You can play in your room.

After breakfast, I took Emily to school. I guess that I will have luck today. I saw miss Walker coming with Jasmine. The plan was to tell Chris about the dinner and he to tell his parents, but this is even better. Emily and Jasmine walked inside, and I quickly ran after Chris's mom.

- Miss Walker, wait!

- Bella. It's nice to see you.

- I need to talk with you for two minutes.

- Ok, I'm listening to you.

- I want to invite you and your family for dinner. I hope that you don't have plans.

- In fact, I don't. I would love to come.

- Thank you. How about 7 pm? Until then, I should be done.

- No problem.

I told miss Walker my address. That is the first time I am inviting someone here since dad's state. I have to talk with him as well. Somehow, I have to make him take a shower and drink like a normal person for one night. That won't be easy. I walked to school and saw Dani and Chris in front of my locker. I wonder why they are here.

- Hello, boys. Can I help you?

- I'm sorry, but you can't. - Chris said

- Then can you move? I want to leave my things.

- I can't do that either.

- Dani, will you tell your friend to move?

- I wish that I could, but no.

- What is wrong with you two today? - I asked, chuckling

- Nothing. I'm just in a good mood.

I was about to say something when I heard the bell. Finally, these two moved so I can take my thing for class. All of us walked to class together. I don't know what is going on with Chris today, but he seems happy. Well, whatever it is, I'm glad that he is in a good mood. I have to say that he was happy when I accepted him as my friend.

The rest of the day I spent with the boys. I received a couple of looks from Jessy but ignored them. It's not my fault that they are with me. Chris wanted to spend the afternoon with me, but I told him that I was busy. He didn't like it. If he knew he would see me tonight. I went to get Emily and Jasmine from school. Today I have to go shopping. Usually, I don't do it when we have food, but I want to make a good dinner. I called miss Adams and asked her to watch the kids until I came back from the store. I told her a short version of my plan, and she was happy to hear it.

- Thank you for the help.

- For you always. Now go. You can't make dinner without ingredients.

After two hours, I was back at home. My idea for dinner was to make all the things which Emily likes. Thanks to her, I started liking them as well. With time, I learned to cook better. I am far from perfect, but at least we have food on the table. Miss Adams offered me her help, but I denied it. I want to do everything by myself. One of the things which my sister likes to eat is chicken filled with rice, mushrooms, and carrots. Usually, except that, I put what I find in the fridge. That's why I bought a whole chicken. The other part of the menu is a salad and a dessert. Emily loves my lava cake, so I will make one.

This dinner took me almost three hours to cook. Luckily, I have learned how to save time. I went to check on dad, who was sleeping in his bed. I would let him sleep as much as he wants, but not today.

- Dad, wake up. Please.

- Leave me to sleep.

- Please. We'll have guests after half an hour. Can you go and take a shower? Also, change your clothes.

- Since when did you start telling me what to do?

- It's only for tonight. Please.

- Fine. Now go out of my room.

- Ok, and thank you. - I said and kissed his cheek

That was a mistake. Dad smells like bourbon and tequila mix. For a person who doesn't drink at all, I learned the smells of each alcohol. Well, thanks to dad. At 7 pm, there was a knock on the door. I went to open it and let Chris with his parents inside.

- This is why you didn't want to spend the afternoon with me. - Chris whispered

- I already had plans.

- Where are the girls? - miss Walked asked

- In Emily's room. I will call them.

Soon everyone was around the table except my dad. Later, he came. When I looked at him, I wanted to die in my place. I pleased him for one thing.

- Dad, I have pleased you something.

- What? Are you ashamed of me?

- No, I just thought that you would put in some effort. At least for me.

- Where is my drink?

- You will have it later.

He didn't say anything and got up. Soon he came back with a bottle in his hands. That's for trying to make him look normal. I didn't say anything and let him do what he wanted. After all, I didn't want to argue with him.

- The salad is delicious. - miss Walked said

- It's my favorite. That is why Bella did it.

- Soon, you can learn to make it by yourself.

After half an hour, I put the main meal. Emily looked at me with a big smile on her face. I must be her sister or something. I know what she likes.

- You made a filled chicken! Chris, you need to come more often. - Emily said, and he laughed

- I have no problem with that.

- Usually, you don't cook that much. - dad said

- Because most of the time, I am alone with Emily.

My sister and Jasmin finished with their meals and went to play in the backyard. It's getting dark, but I know they will come back inside. I looked at dad, who wasn't paying attention at all. He looks like he will go out. I hope that he won't do it. Not today. Miss and Mister Walked tried to have a normal conversation with him but without any result. Honestly, I didn't expect anything else from him. No matter how much I try, dad will always be himself.

- Dad, where are you going?

- Outside.

- Now? You can't leave.

- Why? I am an adult, and I can do whatever I want here.

- But you are always outside. Can't you stay here for tonight?

- You already have company.

- This doesn't mean that I don't want you to be here.

- You don't need me.

- That's not true, and you know it. How many times do we have to talk about the same things?

- Then stop talking.

- Dad! I won't let go out and get drunk again. Why can't you be normal?

- Are you trying to say that there is something wrong with me?

- Yes, I am. I want to be like the other kids in school. To have a dad who has a job and wants to spend time with their kids. Not one who is always drunk goes out and comes back late. When mom was at home, you were a different person.

- I told you not to mention her!

- You can't tell me what to do. Moreover, you are never at home. Most of the time, you are outside. I don't know what happened to you, but since mom died, you are a completely different person. I don't even know to who I am talking anymore.

- I said something!

- What? You can't tell me that because you don't care about anything in that damn house. If I left everything to you, we would live in the streets. Who would hire a drunk man to work for him? I wouldn't do it.

- Then you are asking why I always am outside.

- Dad, please don't go. At least tonight. I will do whatever you say.

- You don't need to lie.

- Why do you hate me?

- I have never said that.

- But you don't love me either. Otherwise, you would spend some time with me, even if it's for ten minutes.

- I don't like it when people tell me what to do.

- Dad!

He didn't say anything and walked away. Great. He ruined everything. I should've listened to the voice in my head that told me that this dinner would be a disaster. I wish that I had a normal life. I would gladly call CPS, but I don't want to do it. Even after all the arguments, he will always be my dad, and I don't want to be against him. Soon I felt two hands wrapped around me. I looked up to see Chris.

- He will come back.

- Yeah, at 3 am, and I have to stay up late and wait for him like an i***t.

- Bella, I think that your dad needs therapy. - miss Walker said

- I know, but even if I sign him for one, he won't go. Except if the therapist comes home, which can't happen.

- If you want, we can talk with him.

- Thanks, but he won't listen to you. He will tell you horrible things which he doesn't mean. He is drunk all the time. I give him pills every day, but most of the time, they end up in the toilet.

- Why did he get angry when you mentioned your mom? - Chris asked

- Because he doesn't like to talk about her. Dad thinks that drinking will help him forget about her.

- I'm sorry, but I don't think this is helping him.

- It doesn't. I don't know what else to do with dad. He is a lost case.

- Can I talk with him? Maybe I can put some sense in him. - miss Walker said

- I will help as well. - mister Walker added

- Thank you, but you will waste your time.

- This doesn't matter.

- Ok, then. You can come when you want, but I don't know if dad will be at home.

- Don't worry. We'll come when he is at home.

- I'm sorry that he ruined the dinner. I tried to make him look normal, but he will never be.

- Hey, he didn't ruin it. We still have a lot of food. - miss Walked said, chuckling

I talked with Chris and his parents while the girls were playing. They offered me to stay at home until dad came, but I told them to go home. Who knows when he will come back? Chris said that he would come to see me tomorrow. I wanted to deny it, but he didn't let me. Sometimes, I am happy that I have a friend like him. I know that he will always be by my side. Not only because he said it. I see it. He has done many things for me, and I will always be grateful. I hope that now since he knows everything, he won't leave. I need him. I need a distraction from my life. Chris is my life savior.