Redeeming Heart

Doubt

The coach called his team over asking the referee for a 2-minute break so he could discuss things with his players.

“Sasha is going to be the centre-forward with Clarissa, and I moving Megan back to midfield.” The coach explained and I know the girls were cringing at the idea of having me on their team.

“This is some kind of joke, right? You can’t just put her on the team, especially since she didn’t attend any practices with us.” Clarissa argued. “Don’t you think that we have a say in this?”

The coach looked at me and I know everything was relying on me. I caused them to hate me because I was good and at the same time ruthless.

“I get that each of you hates me, but for just now put your hate and protest aside and think about getting this match over. You can kick me out and raise your opinions after the game.” I stated.

“Those girls are laughing at you because they think you are not worthy to compete in the tournament but I disagree. I have faced each of you back in the day and I know you are each worthy.”

“At least let me help you win this. I can’t watch you throw your first chance away.”

“We wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you.” Clarissa hissed.

I frowned. “What exactly did I do?” I questioned.

Everyone looked at each other wordlessly before shrugging.

“You punched me and got banned,” I smirked at Clarissa’s remark.

“Exactly, I punched you and I got banned. I am not the reason why you didn’t get on a college team or pro-team. I am not to blame because people stopped being interested in field hockey.”

“You are the reason why they stopped.” Another remarked. “Because you stopped showing up.”

“My mom died.” It wasn’t a surprise to any one of them. “A part of my heart got ripped out and I had no strength to deal with something that she and I used to share.”

“You can’t blame me for your failures.” They went silent and I thought for a moment that I said the wrong thing.

“She’s right.” Their goalkeeper noted. “We can’t blame her because we didn’t get picked. We are given a second chance to right our wrongs and let’s face it. Sasha is the best centre forward.” Tammy added.

“We need her,” Megan stated and many nodded in agreement except for Clarissa.

“Come on, Clarissa. You were wrong as well for what you said to her.” Felicity acknowledged.

“Fine,” She grounded out. “But I am the captain.”

I pulled up my shoulders having no protests. “You go right ahead. I just want to win.”

She nodded. “Well, let’s go kick ass then.”

I looked at the coach. He gave me a smile. “Go get them, tiger.”

I nodded my head and then jogged after the girls to catch up. Clarissa went over the game plan and it kind of sucked because it didn’t make sense, and I’ve realized most of the team didn’t understand.

Megan caught up with me before we headed for the restart of the game. “What’s the plan?” She asked.

“You heard her,” I replied and gave her a knowing smile.

She smiled back when she understood and jogged to get to her position.

“What was that all about?” Clarissa asked, gesturing towards Megan.

“We are not gaining up against you. Get your head in the game.” I said to her and got in my position behind the centre circle with her by my side.

It has been a few years since I played among a team but I certainly didn’t forget how to play. I at least worked on my strikes and fitness every passing day. It was the only thing that kept me sane.

I bent my legs a bit and squatted slightly to get ready for the strike.

The umpire blew the whistle and the ball got swept towards the opposing team. “Let’s go!” I yelled to Clarissa and gestured for her to attack.

I ran off, watching the handoff from one player to another and before they could register, I was sweeping the ball out from them. Knocking it towards Clarissa who seemed a bit fazed before she went for a jog and a pass to Megan who caught up.

Megan was the fastest midfielder we got and we could use her speed to get in front. The rest of the team just have to follow. I watched two players taking Megan on and I shouted to her. She knocked the ball over to me and I went for a chance at the opposing team’s goalkeeper.

I slammed the ball but she covered and knocked it back over to her team. My team was all over the place and was too slow to defend. “That was a waste of time,” Clarissa grumbled.

I took a quick glance at the goalkeeper. She jerked her head at me and I smirked. She was good- no doubt.

“Adams.” I heard Clarissa calling my name.

“We need to intercept,” I told Clarissa.

She frowned at my suggestion. “The only way we are going to get past her is with two players taking a shot but we need to confuse her,” I explained.

“That’s not going to work.” She protested.

“How do you think we won?” Briana asked, giving Clarissa a look.

“This is not high school hockey.” Clarissa insisted.

“Exactly. If we don’t come up with a plan, we might as well head home now.” I said.

“Well, let’s give it a try,” Felicity said. “If we don’t give it a try, we don’t know if it is going to work.”

Clarissa shook her head. “No,”

I held up my hand when Briana wanted to say something. “She’s the captain.” I reminded them.

“Yeah, but as a captain, you at least listen to your team,” Megan grumbled.

I patted her on the shoulder. “Just try and get the ball. Don’t focus on anything else but your teammates.” She nodded at me even though she wanted to argue.

I followed Clarissa back to the centre circle.

We were going to lose if we don’t do something and we had less than fifteen minutes left to put some points on the board.

“Fine, let’s do your plan.” Clarissa suddenly said when we stood opposite of the opposing team.

I nodded and then glanced over my shoulder, signalling the girls we are going with my plan.

“This better work, Adams.”

We got possession of the ball for the third time and this time when we went for a goal it was successful but the game was far from over. We needed two more points to win this.

Clarissa let me pass the ball back to our teammates through a push back and I was at least thrilled when our team was wide awake to go for a second chance at goal but time ran out.

We lost our first match of the season and I wasn’t sure if we just cost our only chance at competing in the tournament.

With our bowed heads and dispirited hearts, we headed over to the coach who shared the same despair.

“So, that didn’t go as planned.” Coach Peterson acknowledged. Giving us a narrowed, knowing look which we all understood.

We messed up.

“Maybe we are out of minds.” One of the girls exclaimed.

Maybe we were. We were far from being a team and haven’t had proper training in years.

The coach seemed to agree. “We actually needed a win today because you see that man congratulating the team that whipped your butts.”

All at once, we looked over at the man he was referring to.

“He is the sports director who gave me a chance because I believed in all of you but I guess I thought wrong giving you each a second chance.”

The last time I have seen so much disappointment blazing in someone’s eyes was when I abandoned my team three years ago.

Being surrounded by so much despair brought back many sad memories which I wasn’t ready for and all I wanted to do was get out of here. Having enough of these overwhelming feelings.

I handed the borrowed hockey stick back and wanted to leave but Clarissa had other ideas. “Where are you going?” She questioned with a glare.

“I thought I wasn’t wanted,” I noted.

A few of the players shook their heads at me. “On the contrary, we need you.” One of the girls said and more than the first time agreed with her.

“What can one person do? You have seen it for yourself that if we don’t work together or communicate, we will get nowhere.”

“Then why not stay and help us out?” I gave Clarissa a questioning look.

“A few minutes ago, you wanted me out of here and now you are asking me to help?”

Her tough act dropped and gone was the girl I used to know. The b***h who could never leave me alone looked at me as if I was their only hope.

“I made the mistake of not trusting you.” I shook my head.

“You didn’t want to listen to your team that was your first mistake.” Her second was showing defeat and the team picked up on it.

“See. We need you.” I so badly wanted to turn her down but having them all stare at me with eyes begging made things almost unbearable.

“How can you trust someone who doesn’t know if she won’t have another breakdown? I can’t afford to ruin yet another team’s chance and I won’t allow it.” I had no choice but to turn them down, yet, again.

I walked away without looking back.