Redeeming Heart

Giving a hand

There was this huge concrete wall that went up between my father and me after my mother’s death. We barely talk to each other or tolerate one another whenever we are in the same room for too long.

All this time I thought my father didn’t have a heart or a conscious but I saw the look of despair and guilt in his eyes. He was missing her as much I was but unlike me who was expressing my anger.

Many would think that things were finally reaching the point of developing but we were still caught between a rock and a hard place. Our minds are still not made up about how we are going to solve these problems that are separating us from each other.

I didn’t bother going home and I lost control of my actions when I walked away from my father and showed up at the girls first hockey match. I was a tiny bit baffled that I remembered where their first match was held. Call me inquisitive or nosy but I was by far curious to see who coach Peterson recruited.

Many of the faces I recognized from back in the day when I faced them on the field but among them all, one face, in particular, stood out.

Clarissa Harrington.

Coach Peterson was that desperate to recruit the biggest hater of Sasha-Lee Adams. A player who knows nothing about sportsmanship and is a total b***h.

Megan and Briana were the first to notice me standing beside the field surrounded by mothers of 30 girls. They were literally the only ones who were happy to see me as we used to be teammates for years before I turned my back on the sport.

They rushed over to greet me and didn’t take their time embracing me with hugs even when they knew I hated hugs.

“What are you doing here?” Megan asked. Her eyes sparkled with curiosity and excitement.

“Yeah, I thought the coach would have recruited you?” Briana added.

“He did but I turned him down.” Both looked extremely baffled and I concealed a smile even though I wanted to laugh at their expressions.

I truly missed them and my old team. After what I did, freaking out in the locker room and smashing the lockers in because I was angry and sad. I owed each of them an apology because I never went back after that day.

“What is she doing here?” The biggest hater of me snarled.

I smirked when my gaze connected with Clarissa’s. “Last time I checked, it is a free country, Harrington.”

Her gaze gave me a once over. “And, last time I checked, you are not allowed to touch a hockey field after what you’ve done to me.”

“Oh, please, princess. Get over it. I broke your nose and everyone would agree with me that you deserved it.” She went too far criticizing my mother and telling me that I am weak just like her. Forgetting that my mom was actually dying from cancer.

Her apologies meant nothing to me because my mom died a few months later.

“And, FYI, I was only banned for a couple of weeks- not the rest of my life.” I clarified with a note of sarcasm.

“Then why aren’t you among us?” Her smug smile did absolutely nothing to intimidate me. She was weak when it came to playing a hard-ass.

I shrugged showing her that I didn’t care. “Who said I wasn’t recruited?”

Her smirk dropped and I felt like smiling but kept it suppressed. “Why would you turn down an opportunity like this? Out of all of us, we expected you to be the first to agree to this.”

“I have my reasons.”

I think my reply, answered all of their unanswered questions because everyone expressed sympathy and stayed silent.

The world lost a legend when my mom passed away and I wasn’t talking about me. Everyone expressed their sadness during my mom’s funeral. Flowers were put up at our house, her tombstone and even including the oldest hockey field in New Orleans.

“I’m sorry about your mom, Sasha,” Clarissa whispered and I just nodded.

I turned my head to hide the tears forming in my eyes and swallowed a lump that formed in my throat. “Thanks.”

“We should probably get going,” Megan announced.

I gazed back at them and caught everyone shooting me small smiles while saying their goodbyes. I chuckled when Briana held her hand in a fist. I bumped her fist and wished her good luck- not as she needed it. She was the best defence on this team.

“I wondered if I would see you again.” Coach Peterson said coming over.

I rolled my eyes. “I did turn you down,” I pointed out.

He nodded. “Hmm, I know, but I was hoping you would reconsider. This team needs a strong centre and leader. All the skills you possess.”

I lowered my eyes and tried not to think about it. My mom was the reason for pushing me to become a better player. Shared with me all her secrets at how to becoming the best by respecting your team and pushing them to do better.

I won’t deny that I received her talent when it came to becoming the best player but it was because of her that I learned to become a great leader.

“Don’t show doubt in your players, coach. It’s the worst thing you can do before a match. They can sense your doubt and it gives them a negative mindset.” It makes them feel as if they are not good enough to win and they will keep on thinking about it.

I didn’t miss his smile. I just decided to ignore it and pay full attention to the girls who were starting with their game.

We waited when both captains were called for the coin toss from the referee. It looks as if Megan’s team won the opening toss as they got the ball.

I frowned when I noticed that Megan was going to do the push back, (which means she will hit the ball back towards the lines behind her), from the middle of the field as the two teams will line up in formation on either side of the field, to start the game.

The opposing teams’ defenders must be at least five yards away from the ball and will only be allowed to attack once the umpire blows the whistle and the ball is shot off towards their team.

“She’s a centre-forward?” I questioned with disbelief. Megan used to be a midfielder all her life and would only take over from me when a player got injured and I had to take over their position.

The coach nodded just as the umpire blew the whistle and Megan went for her strike. “Come on, Megan,” I muttered, catching myself taking a step forward to watch if one of the backline players has the ball and to my utter amazement, they did and immediately started passing the ball between the players.

“What is she doing?” I suddenly queried when Clarissa got the ball while another player was wide open and much faster than her. Clarissa tried to go for a goal on her own without alerting the team and lost possession to the opposing team who scored their first goal.

“Come on!” This was not the way I know any of these girls.

They were once the best in the leagues.

“She’s good but she’s not you.” The coach said, gesturing towards Clarissa who got back into her position beside Megan.

“It’s not about being good. It’s about teamwork and communication.” I hit back, believing in them.

“They need a leader.” He reminded me.

I couldn’t agree more.

“Let’s go, girls!” I shouted when the game got restarted but this time the opposing team had the possession and they were extremely fast.

“Where are the defenders? Goddammit.” I grumbled when their second goal was easy.

This was a joke and the opposing team seemed to figure it out as they pointed and laughed.

“That’s it,” I muttered. I couldn’t take it when players were in this team- laughing at other players. That’s not how sportsmanship works.

“Get me on that field,” I told the coach.

“What?” He seemed baffled by my request.

“Do you want to win this?” I asked, and then asked one of the replacements if I can borrow their hockey stick which she complied.