Delusions of Heart

Kabanata 1

Kabanata 1

It was the last school year. I could clearly remember it.

The radiant sun is wrapping us in brilliant and warm rays. I watched the trees on how they sway in warm breeze.

I wiped the beads of sweats on my forehead. Ipinaypay ko rin ang notebook na hawak.

"It's freaking hot," Thalyra irritatedly said.

Tumango ako at patuloy na nagpapaypay. Kasabay pa ang sikip dahil sa alon ng mga estudyante ng Gorostiza na pauwi.

"s**t," Heira cursed as she fixed her hair.

Ang iilang nakakasalubong na mga estudyante ay napapalingon at nagtatagal ang tingin. It seems like it's unsual to see us here.

Binalewala ko iyon dahil sanay na.

"Malapit na tayo," untag ko at tinanaw ang building kung saan ang library.

Halos makahinga kami ng maluwag nang makarating doon. Pagtaas ng kilay agad ang binungad sa amin ni Aldrin.

I lifted my eyes and surveyed the outside view of library. Sakto lang laki noon dahil public school 'to. Agad na nag-ayos sina Thalia ng sarili mula sa siksikan kanina.

"Halatang nag-ayos ng todo ah? Teh sa library lang kayo pupunta para mag-aral," ani Aldrin at umirap.

"Sino nagsabing mag-aaral kami? It's Arthana only," Thalyra laughed.

"I'm here to find my husband," Heira rolled her eyes.

Sabay kaming napalingon ni Aldrin sa kaniya. Tinaasan siya ng kilay ni bakla.

"Huh?"

"Did you know how many future Engineers, Lawyers, Doctors and Businessmen are studying inside the library? So tara na!"

Napailing ako at sumunod sa kanila. Nakisama rin si Aldrin sa balak nila Thalia. I shook my head incredulously.

"Mga baklang 'to, matalino na rin pala ang bet niyo ngayon?" asar ni Aldrin.

Heira flipped her hair while Thalyra gave a nod. I chuckled when I remembered their past relationships.

"There's no sexier than a man with good english and proper grammar. Don't underestimate the seductive power of a decent vocabulary."

"I just discovered that smart guys are so attractive," Thalyra winked.

"Kaya pala willing kayo sumama sa akin sa library ngayon."

I surveyed them with eyes full of sarcasm. Nagkibit-balikat si Aldrin at hinila na kaming tuluyan.

"Manahimik ah," nagbabantang tumingin si Aldrin.

"You are the loud one," Heira shrugged.

Bahagya ko siyang tinapik nang tuluyan na kaming nakapasok. Puno ang mga table sa unahan na malapit sa librarian. Marami ang bakante sa paligid ng mga shelf, bandang likod.

Habang naglilibot ng tingin sina Heira ay kami na ni Aldrin ang nagsulat sa form. Sila lang ang kasama ko dahil abala sina Kaz.

"Tagal niyo," ani Thalia at hinila kami nang matapos.

Seems like she eyed her target. Tumango nalang ako at inayos ang gamit nang makarating sa table.

"I can't find one," bulong ni Heira.

"Just study," I chuckled lowly.

Pareho kami ni Aldrin na nagsimulang mag-aral dahil magkaklase. More on analyzations about marketing ang binabasa ko ngayon.

We are both ABM students. I'm planning to take Accountancy in college. I do modeling but I don't have any plans to pursue it in the future.

Lalo kung sa kumpanya niya ako babagsak. Ayokong maglandas kami sa kahit anong pagkakataon. Iniiwasan ko ang mundo ng showbiz at media dahil sobrang liit ng tsansa na 'di kami magkita kung papasukin ko iyon.

"Bakla, pahiram libro," tawag ni Aldrin.

Sinenyasan ko siyang hinaan ang natural na maingay na boses. Pumilantik lang ang kamay niya.

I carefully stood to avoid making noise. I need to get a book for our Business Math. Sinenyasan ko silang tatlo bago tuluyang umalis.

I lifted my eyes to the signs where I could get the book. Dumiretso ako nang makita agad ang hinahanap.

"Hi, Tanya!"

Ngumiti ako at tumango sa nalampasan na mesa nang bumati ang hindi ko kilalang estudyante.

Sanay ako sa ganoon pero binilisan ko na ang lakad para iwasan ang mga abala. Maraming nakakakilala sa akin marahil sa madalas kong pagsali sa mga pageant. I immediately saw the book I'm searching.

I was about to turn my back again but before I could even, I saw two students making out. Napaawang kaunti ang bibig ko nang nahagip sila ng tingin. Naiwan ang kamay kong nakahawak pa rin sa libro at hindi pa tuluyang nakukuha.

Hindi ko sila kilala pareho. Nakatalikod sa akin ang lalaki habang kita ko ang mukha ng babae. He was kissing her on the neck. The girl clung her arm on his nape. I gulped in the erotic scene in front of me.

Nasapo ko ang noo bago napailing. I slowly took the book. Tumikhim ako bago nagpasyang lumapit. Hindi masyadong makikita ang pwesto nila dahil dulo at walang tao.

"Ang lalakas ng loob ng mga 'to," bulong ko sa sarili.

Hindi man lang sila natinag kahit may naririnig na hakbang papalapit. Tumikhim ako at nakita ang pagtapik ng babae sa likod ng kahalikan.

"Excuse me."

Kalmado at kaswal lang akong nakatingin sa kanila. Natigilan silang pareho. Agad na tumingala ang babae sa direksyon ko.

Her brows rose like I'm interrupting their very important business. The boy slowly faced me. They are both in my level, base on their uniform and ID.

"Bawal ang ginagawa niyo."

Direkta ko silang tiningnan sa mga mata. Pinilit ko ang sariling hindi mailang sa malaswang nadatnan ko kanina.

"Sino ka para sabihan kami?" mataray na tanong ng babae.

Hinawakan niya pa ang panga ng lalaki nang nanatili itong nakalingon sa akin. I felt his brooding eyes surveyed the whole me. I didn't give a f**k and stood authoritative.

Itinaas ko ang mas malaking ID kumpara sa naturang School ID. Pareho nilang sinundan ng tingin iyon.

"I'm an SSG officer here in Gorostiza High."

"Sus nanalo ka lang naman dahil maganda at sikat ka rito," umirap ito sa akin.

"Yeah, you are right. She's just beautiful..." dagdag ng lalaki na nasa akin pa rin ang mga mata.

Mabilis na napalingon ang babae sa kaniya at napanganga sa narinig. This bastard.

"Zairo?"

I gripped on my book and controlled myself. I slowly nodded.

"Base on GNHS' Rules and regulations, General Conduct, all students are to make good use of platforms created for your development. Learning development not for making out. This library is a platform and one of the school's premises," I smirked. "And thank you, by the way."

Pekeng umubo ang babae pero mariin pa rin ang tingin. Bumagsak ang mga mata ko sa uniform niyang sira ang butones.

I took a pin from my pocket. Ibinaba ko iyon sa table kaya sinundan ng tingin ng babae. Nawala na ang mataray niyang tingin sa akin kanina.

"Fix your clothes," I remarked before standing straight again. "Don't settle for a man with lack of respect."

His brows immediately rose. He withdraw his hand from the girl and fully turned to me.

"Why would she listen to you?" Zairo slowly asked, trying to stop smirking.

"Everybody listens to a beauty queen."

I smiled mockingly before turning my back, leaving him dumbfounded.

That was our first encounter. Nasundan pa iyon ng maraming beses. He's a transferee here but he instantly had the guts to mess.

Palaging nangyayari ang pagkumpiska ko ng hikaw niya. Halos araw-araw iyon nangyari dahil kailangan. Bawal ang hikaw sa mga lalaki.

Maliban kay Avior na kapatid ni Alexia at sa kaibigan nitong si Azea, isa rin siya sa mga suki ng record sa amin. I knew him because of his bad records here in Gorostiza.

I didn't know that he's a Campus Journalist. Malabong maisip ko iyon.

Inangat ko bahagya ang tingin dahil mas mataas siya sa akin kahit na matangkad ako. I raised my brows.

"Paano ko babayaran?"

I should control myself and be responsible for what I did. Pero hindi ko maiwasang mairita lalo sa paraan ng pagtingin niya.

"If you can't-"

"Kaya ko," agap ko. "Kahit paunti-unti."

Natigilan siya sandali at nag-isip. His eyes narrowed as his lips twitched. My brows shot up.

He nodded.

"How?"

Bumagsak ang tingin ko sa sahig at kinagat ang pang-ibabang labi.

"Weekly siguro hanggang sa matapos. Magkano ba lahat?"

"Hundred and twenty thousand."

Shoot.

My eyes immediately widened. I slowly muttered a curse. Halos mahilo ako nang marinig ang presyo. Marahan akong napailing at 'di makapaniwala.

He's freaking rich. 120,000 for a camera? Just for journalism? What the f**k?

I swallowed and felt the huge lumps on my throat. s**t.

"It's a Nik-"

"Okay," I raised my hand to interrupt him.

He remained silent, observing me. I took a deep breath and remembered all my responsibilities.

"I'll pay it," I nodded bravely.

Tinalikuran ko siya pumasok na ulit sa loob ng Kalasag. Agad kong inaya si Thalia na pumasok na sa klase namin.

I was absent-minded in the whole day of class. 'Yong babayaran ko lang nasa isip. 120,000... seriously?

Inimporma rin ako ni Jethro na tuluyang nasira ang camera na iyon at hindi na gumana. Mariin akong napapikit at iniligpit na ang gamit.

Mas maaga ang uwi namin ngayon dahil wala teacher para sa Oral Communication na huling subject namin. Dadaan ako sandali ngayon sa kanto bago ang Gorostiza at babalik ulit dahil kasabay sina Heira.

I didn't get a reply from the head of that small modeling agency. Pero tumuloy pa rin ako dahil baka abala lang. Ngunit agad ding nadismaya nang makarating.

"Wala na raw ang agency na 'to. Ipinasara na," ani Glenn.

She's a co-model here in the agency. My brows knitted perplexedly. Ibinaling ko ulit ang tingin sa saradong sliding door ng maliit na building.

"Panibagong scandal ang kumalat, galing sa ibang model naman," dagdag niya.

"Base sa investigation, ang manager daw ang suspect," sabat ni Migo. "Puro regular na model ang biktima."

Halos malaglag ang panga ko sa narinig. I'm only a part-time model here since I'm still a student. I shut my eyes incredulously.

"Babalitaan nalang kita, Tanya, kapag may bagong recruit at agency," ngumiti si Glenn.

"Sige, salamat..." tumango ako. "Susubukan ko ring maghanap."

"Madali ka na makakapasok, Tanya," tumango si Danica, kasamahan din namin. "Lalo na sa Manila."

Agad akong umiling nang marinig iyon. I won't really apply in Manila, not ever.

"Hindi pwede atsaka ayoko rin."

Nagkibit balikat sila at nagpaalam na. Napabuntong-hininga ako at bumalik ulit sa Gorostiza. Isa iyon sa malaki ang kita kahit na part-time palang. Isa sana sa aasahan ko dahil may babayaran.

Natigil ako malapit sa parking lot ng school. Zairo walked towards me.

"Matatagalan siguro ang simula ng pagbayad ko."

"If you can't-"

"Kaya ko," mabilis na putol ko.

"Can you let me finish first? I'm not taking the advantage here," he spat menacingly.

Mabagal akong tumango. Iyon nga ang iniisip ko kaya pursigidong mabayaran. I know his doings here. I don't like what's the possible deal he wanted.

My eyes darted to his pair of a small ang silver earring. Nothing new. Hindi ko na iyon pinansin dahil hindi naman na officer ng SSG.

"I need a model since I'm a photojournalist. You can be my model. You can pay your debt just by that. Work on me."

His offer is tempting but sounds unfair.

"Modeling only?" I asked again..

"You want other?" the side of his lips rose.

Itinaas ko ang kamay para senyasan siyang tumahimik.

"Just agree, Arthana. Besides, you are a model too."

"You are a photojournalist here in Gorostiza. Why do you want a model like-"

"I like your eyes, the color of your eyes. You looked foreign, different from the students here. It's a unsual thing that a photographer will take."

Nanatili akong tahimik nang matanto iyon. Ganito palagi ang reaksyon ko tuwing nababanggit ang physical appearance ko. Kahit na puri iyon ay hindi ko matanggap lalo't nakuha ko sa ama.

"Your foreign look and forest green eyes screams a lot in photography-"

"Shut up," I snapped.

His eyes were glued on me as I thought about it. I slowly nodded to agree with his offer.

I need to swallow my pride and principles now. We are lack of money. And I lost a part-time job now. I took a deep breath and calm myself.

My natural ash brown hair danced as the harsh air blew against he warm breeze. Another characteristic I got from my father. On my nosebridge and cheeks were light patches of freckles. And my skin was paper white, I got from my mother.

I nodded at him. He stared at me with a clear admiration flickered on his eyes. His eyes were glued on my forest green eyes.

Minsan ay napagkakamalang kamag-anak ako nila Alexia o Azea. Dahil kahit sila ay halatang iba ang lahi. Their golden brown eyes and hair, hazel eyes, the fair skin and features are so unsual like mine.

I really looked foreign. They always give compliment about it. But seems like it's an insult for me.

I got those from the person I loathed the most. I couldn't be thankful.

"It's a final agreement," Zairo nodded as hIs lips twitched. "No turning back, Arthana."