Mentally in love

Chapter six - Friends and stories

Dean's POV:

I still haven't prepped what to say to my parents when I go home. This is not something easy to explain. The thing is that I can't stay here anymore. I am taking advantage of the people who work here. The therapy is not helping. Brianna is trying everything she can. I stopped hurting myself. I can't let go of this feeling. Maybe she is right. I have to meet someone like me. That won't be easy. I don't know many people. My parents will be happy to see me, especially my mom. I know how hard it was at the fake funeral. Well, it was like that only for me. Everyone thought it was real. After all, I was there. Otherwise, they would see the coffin was empty. Then, my parents will start looking for me. It wasn't the best decision, but I couldn't think of anything better. I had a problem and needed help. It was enough that I was an embarrassment to them. They don't need to suffer more. It was better if I was gone. That's why I did it. I won't say these are the best five years of my life, but they are not the worst. I wouldn't have met Jeremy and Lia if I wasn't here. Also, to hear their stories. Now I know that it's not only me who has problems. Some people have suffered a lot over the years. That's why I'm glad to have such loving parents. Lia and Jeremy didn't have the same luck. Honestly, I feel bad for them. No person should go through the same things. That is terrible. I don't know why their parents have done this, but they don't deserve to have kids. At least they feel better at the hospital. This is what should matter the most. The workers here are great, especially Brianna and the chef. She already gave me her phone number and told me to call her whenever I want when I go home. I will try not to disturb her all the time. After all, she is not working during the weekend. It's enough that she does it twenty-four hours, five days a week. I hope that when I go home, I will feel better.

Two weeks left until I go home. I have been playing with Lia and Bri for the past few days. As usual, it's only with Lia. I would like it if I could talk with the older version. I don't think she is ready to let go of her childhood. Maybe that is because she never had one. I mean, at least not with the same meaning. She had to work a lot. For what? I don't even know how she came here. I don't believe that her parents will leave her. There is a chance that she came here alone.

I woke up and checked the time. It was 8 am. This means I have to eat. I'm not excited about this. Well, I can keep Lia company. For the past few days, Jeremy distant himself. Brianna said he needed some time for himself. That's why I haven't talked with him. If he wants and is ready, he will tell me everything. I got dressed, made my bed, and went to eat. Lia was already there. Probably Bri is with her, too. I sat in front of her, and she waved at me. Her mouth was full of food.

- I see you are hungry.

- Yep. I need energy.

- I'm glad that you think this way.

- Can we play later?

- Sure. We can go to your room if you want. Bri is invited too.

- She doesn't need an invitation. I don't go anywhere without her. Right, Bri?

- You have a good friend.

- She is the best. I love her so much. We'll never get separated.

- That is good. You have someone who you can trust.

- I know she won't tell anyone.

- Tell what?

- Nothing.

- Do you have to tell me something?

- No. Not here.

- Ok, we can talk later.

Lia and I ate our breakfast peacefully. Later, we walked to her room. I don't know what is happening. I think she will tell me something. Hopefully, it's not something horrible. We sat on the bed, and she took the bunny I gave her. She hugged it tightly and looked at me. I have no idea what she wants, but I don't think I can give it to her. Lia didn't say anything. She left the bunny and rolled up her sleeves. That's when I saw it. There were stains on her hands. They were more like marks. What the heck is this? Did she do this to herself? I don't believe it.

- Lia, what is this?

- Can you keep a secret?

- Yes, sure.

- This is from my dad.

- Did he beat you up?

- No, he r*ped me.

- What?

- Only Bri knows.

- How? When?

- I was fifteen. He came home drunk one night. Mom wasn't there. I don't know what happened to him. Then I got pregnant. I told my mom who did it, but she didn't believe me. She took me to the hospital to remove the baby. Dad is cheating on her, but she doesn't trust me. I have seen him with other women at home when she wasn't there. He beat me up when he understood I talked with her about this. Luckily, I managed to escape. They didn't let me go out anywhere. I didn't feel safe there, but I couldn't go away. That's why I have been searching for different places where I could stay. I planned to escape. I knew I had to come here when I found this place. That's why, one night, after my parents fell asleep, I took some things in a bag and ran away. They have no idea where I am. If they find me, I will be dead. I can't go back there.

- Why didn't you tell me this to Brianna? She can help you.

- If my parents find out about this, I will be dead. Also, it's the same for the people who helped me.

- Then why are you telling me?

- Because you are good to me. The other reason is that you will leave soon. I won't see you again.

- Do you want me to leave?

- Yes, I do. This place is not helping you.

- Why are you so sure?

- You have to find the girl.

- What girl?

- Your friend.

- Do you know her?

- When I came home after school, I saw you talking with a little girl. Then you appeared here. I immediately recognized you. She makes you feel better. That's why you have to find her. She is the key to your condition.

- Do you know how I can do that?

- No, I don't. I have to go now. Bri and I will play.

- Is this a pretend? I mean Bri.

- It's not. I never had a real childhood. Neither had the chance to play with toys.

- You know Bri doesn't exist.

- She does.

- No, she doesn't.

- Yes, she does. Bri was my best friend in school. She got r*ped by her father and killed herself at sixteen. Her body might be gone, but her soul is always with me. Do you want to play with us?

- I will come in a bit. I have a session with Brianna.

- Ok, I'll see you later. - Lia said and left

I can't believe what I just heard. I wanted to hug her as my little sister and tell her it would be fine. That is terrible. So Bri exists. Well, she did. I mean, not anymore. All this time, I thought she had invented this. It turned out that she didn't. I was sitting on the bed when Brianna came in. Honestly, I don't think I can talk with her right now.

- Hey, are you ok?

- No.

- Why? What happened?

- Lia.

- She finally opened up.

- Yes. How do you know?

- I was listening. I knew she wouldn't tell me. That's why I decided to stop and listen.

- What will you do? You have to help her.

- I know. I will think of something.

- Bri existed.

- At least we know she is not imagining things.

- Why didn't she say anything up to now? At least to you. I'm sure you could've helped her.

- Maybe she didn't want me to get involved. I don't know. Don't worry. I will talk with her.

- Can we discuss my problems later? I don't think I can talk right now.

- It's ok. I'm glad that you care about others.

- That is terrible.

- It is, but we weren't there to stop it.

- Sad, but true.

- Let's go for lunch. It will be ready soon.

- I don't want to eat.

- Dean, you can't help everyone, especially in your condition.

- But I feel bad for her. She went through so much.

- I understand, but this is her battle, not yours. Being there for her is more than enough.

- She will be fine, right?

- I hope so. Now we have to go to eat.

- But I don't want to.

- Lia and Bri will be there.

- Ok, fine. I will do it only because of them.

- Good.

Brianna and I went to eat. Jeremy was sitting with Lia. She talked to him, but I don't think he was listening. It might be weird, but I think they might help each other. He is a few years older than her, but that is not a problem. They only need to spend more time with each other. I walked up to them.

- Hello. Who is hungry?

- Bri and me. Jeremy is not eating much.

- Why? Man, are you ok?

- I'm fine.

- Are you sure?

- Yes.

- Lia, why don't you invite Jeremy to play with you and Bri? This might make him feel better.

- Yes. Will you play with us? Please.

- Really? You had to give her this idea. - Jeremy said, looking at me

- It will be fun.

- Ok, fine. I'll play with you. It's not like I have something better to do.

- Yay! Thank you. Bri is excited, too.

- Tell Bri that I am, too.

- She can hear you, remember?

- Oh, yeah. I keep forgetting about this.

We ate our lunch peacefully. Jeremy and Lia were talking. Maybe there is a chance for them. I don't want to force things. You never know what might happen. A little push is enough. Everything else is not my problem anymore. I shouldn't mess with this. It's better if I stay away from this. At least the food here is good. It's not a lie that I have missed my mom's cooking. No one can beat her. I don't know what she puts in the food, but it's heavenly. When I finished there, I walked to my session with Brianna. After all, I decided to have one. It will be good for me.

- Hello, how are you today?

- I'm fine, thanks.

- How do you feel?

- I don't know. I want to find that girl.

- Are you sure?

- Yes. Maybe she won't remember me, but it's worth a try.

- I'm glad you think this way. I'm sure she remembers you.

- I hope so. I would love to see her.

- Do you want to keep the friendship with her?

- Yes, I do. Well, only if she wants it. I don't want to force her.

- Do you have feelings for her?

- What? No, I don't. She was only thirteen.

- That was before. She should be eighteen now.

- Why are you asking me all these questions?

- Because you look excited to see her. Maybe over the years, you have developed something for her.

- No, I didn't. I thought we were here to talk about me.

- Your feelings are part of yourself.

- Brianna, I don't want to talk about this.

- Then what? You can tell me everything.

- I'm afraid she won't want me as her friend anymore.

- Why?

- Because I left her.

- You should think more positively.

- You know this is a struggle for me.

- I do.

- Look, I don't feel well. I don't want this to affect her.

- Something you can do is to try to bring the positive out of you.

- How? She can't see the things I do to myself.

- Then don't show them to her. Try to keep in a good mood. You never know, but she might need your help.

- How can I help her? I can't even put my life in the right way. Look at me.

- Dean, you won't do anything if you keep thinking like that. Keep your head up.

- I don't know if I can do that.

- You have to. If not for yourself, do it for her. She might not need your help, but she will need a best friend.

- I will try my best not to disappoint her.

- Good. Maybe you two need each other more than you think.

- Why?

- You had a bracelet, right?

- Yes, I did.

- Why did you give it to her?

- Because I wanted her to have something from me. It was like a gift.

- Maybe that was because she meant something to you.

- Yes, she did.

- What if she still keeps it?

- I would be happy about it.

Brianna and I talked for another hour. I don't know why I am excited to see Lesley. She probably won't remember me, but I will remind her who I was. I would love it if I could keep her around for a while. Even if she was only thirteen, she was a good friend. Maybe we can save the good relations. Hopefully, my mood won't affect her. I will listen to what Brianna said. It will be better to be positive around her. She doesn't deserve to see me in this state. It looks like she might be the person I need the most. I decided to take a nap. When I woke up, I went for dinner. Jeremy and Lia were together.

- Hey.

- Hi. The food is good. - Lia said

- Good. I can't wait to try it. How are you, Jeremy?

- I'm fine. We played the whole afternoon.

- What games did you play?

- Run and catch. Bri was happy. - Lia said

- She told me everything. - Jeremy said, whispering

- Really? She did.

- Yes.

- So what will happen now?

- I think I want to stay around her for a while. After all, we have similar stories.

- You want to keep her.

- Yes, I do. I hope you don't mind.

- Why would I? I have another girl to find.

- I'm sure you will.

We talked for the rest of the dinner. I don't know how Lia opened up that quickly, but I'm glad she did. Jeremy will help her. He is a good guy. I will leave soon, and she will need someone by her side. Maybe they won't have the best life. They can still help each other. Well, I won't do anything. I did what I could. Now, this is not my business. I have other things to worry about. I need to prepare myself for when I go home. It's hard to explain, but I will find the right words to say it. I think this will help me get better. What I want the most is to find Lesley. I hope I can keep our friendship the way it used to be.