Takip Silip

xvii. Pumapanglabing-pito

Aurora is consistently inconsistent. Ayun siguro ang dahilan kung bakit naguguluhan siya sa emosyon niya. Masaya siya ngayon at bukas hindi. She’ll overthink, distract herself, and then boom! She realize she's self-destructing. Oh, she wished na kaya niyang magdesisyon ng matino para sarili niya. She’s young and lost. She can blame her background para sa way ng pag-iisip niya. She wished she could be better than this and handle herself and other people as well. But she can’t. She doesn’t know how to. 

Sana may nagturo sa kanya what to avoid, where to stay, and what is good and bad. But she’s not too young para manisi.

It became her bad habits. She's a product of unorganized, chaotic, and every word to describe a young teenage girl who's nowhere to go.

Well, she can go to places where she can destruct herself more. 

May kausap si Elisa sa phone and it sounds like a friend of hers dahil sa way nang pakikipagbiruan nito. It doesn't bother Aurora that she's on the phone but the thing that bothers her is Elisa's hand in her thigh, caressing her. Oh god, she exclaimed on herself. When does this stop? It doesn't give her any tiny bit of reaction. It's not hot or entertaining. It's not even cute! Naiirita lang siya. Makati. Sinubukan niyang gumalaw at pumasok sa kumot para maalis ang kamay nito. Hindi lang talaga siya interesado sa kanya. A voice in her head objected, then why are you here?  She ignored it. She don't have the answer to herself either. 

Binaba ni Elisa yung phone and turn to her, "My friends invited me to a party. Do you want us to go?" she asked. 

"Kung gusto mo pumunta, ayos lang." Please,  leave. It's much more better kung magisa lang si Aurora dito. But that's too selfish, isn't?

"I won't go if you won't go. I can cancel and we can stay ho-" Aurora cut her off. 

"We can go. Bar ba?" Elisa was too transparent. It doesn't give her any curiosity. She can see the excitement on her eyes knowing na sasama si Aurora and meet her friends. Nakikita niyang gustong-gusto niya ipakita na kasama niya si Aurora. But it's much better than being alone with her, right? 

Aurora and Elisa jump to bar to bar. Inom dyan, inom doon. Saan saan na sila pumunta pero hindi ramdam ni Aurora ang pagod. Naka-autopilot na ang katawan niya and let Elisa take her everywhere.

Parties. Some people may envy them by living in such a colorful life. So free. But that's just a surface. Aurora never liked parties despite being here everyday. Aurora never liked the feeling of getting drunk, neck kisses from strangers, and everything in a bliss. She just want to find herself, however, she found herself in the middle of the crowds. Full of noise and full of people yet she feel alone with her own voices. Nowhere to hide. After all this time, matatanggap niya na siguro na she can never distract herself from her own issues. Pero how can she fix this? Maayos pa ba?

Somebody, get her from this mess.

Like any other superhero, knight in shinning amor, or maybe its just a considence, one call of help, they will be there to save the damsel in distress.

In the middle of the crowd, there is Elli. Standing and staring at her wearing a genuine sweet smile. Almost inviting her to come home.

She doesn't understand why but she found herself running to her. Letting Elli take her home and leave everyone behind.

Elli took her hand habang sumisingit sa mga taong nagsasayawan. She felt safe, almost scary. Sa point na kahit saan siya dalhin, ayos lang. Kahit sa dulo pa nang bangin.

Aurora was shock nang dalhin siya sa parking lot. They walked in front of a big motorbike with red flames design on it. Hawak lang ni Elli ang kamay niya kahit sa pagkuha nang susi sa bulsa nito. She never saw this motorbike kahit nagstay siya doon sa condo ni Elli. She never saw her use this nor mentioned it. Elli guide her to sit on the bike. Holding her hips that makes her heart jump. Lumamig ang mga daliri niya sa kaba. She tried to not make it a big deal.

Elli jumped on the bike. Kinuha niya ang kamay ni Aurora para ipalibot sa kanya nang mahigpit. They drive to expressway where they rarely encounter cars dahil gabi na. She loves it even more. A core memory, for sure. She let her head rest on her back hearing her heart, feeling her warmth, and counting each of her breath. Aurora lift one of her hands and sway in the air. Elli is checking her on the side mirror to make sure she's safe. For now, it doesn't matter kung mahulog man siya sa motor. She wants to forget for a while. She just want to be happy.

But does she let her self suffer?

She doesn't understand it either. After all this time living with fear and anger, safety is scary and love is threatening for her to accept that easy. And now, letting her head rest with Elli and putting down her walls makes her feel butterflies. Either nervousness or pure ecstacy.

Elli felt like an adrenaline rush. Aurora is scared to be addicted and ask for more.

They stopped in front of an abandoned building. Tumingin si Elli sakanya para isenyales na bumaba. Aurora let go from hugging her waist at bumaba. Elli walked inside of the building. She used her phone's flashlight to lighten up the place a bit. Pero namumuno pa rin talaga ang dilim. Tahimik lang sila magdamag mula nung sa bar. Mas nakakabingi pa ang katamihikan dahil sa lugar kung nasaan sila. Good thing is Aurora is not scared of the ghost, however, darkness? Tangina.

Aurora tried to hide her fear and keep up to Elli. Mukang kabisado ni Elli ang lugar dahil dirediretso lang siya at alam kung saan pupunta. Aurora stepped on something that made her scream.

"Ay! Gagi." Napahawak ito sa braso ni Elli that stopped as well. Mukang nagulat din, "Bakit mo naman kasi ako dinala dito, o? Kung papatayin mo ko, p'wede naman sa labas. No need na madrama." out of burst, pabiro niya. Tinapat ni Elli ang flashlight sa natapakan niya. Just a plain rock. Shame. Hindi na ako maangas nito.

Elli hold her hand and did not speak a word. Elli continue to walked and let Aurora follow. Tumaas sila mula sa Fire Exit hanggang sa makapunta na sila sa Rooftop.

Aurora is utterly dumbfounded from the view. Citylights and far away mountain from Manila.

"Where are we?" Aurora asked. Still amazed. Pumunta pa silang dulo para mas magandang view.

"Somewhere in Antipolo." Wow. She never been here. Elli light up a cigarette. Aurora watched her puff. Tumingin sa kanya si Elli. Tinanggal ni Elli ang yosi sa bibig niya at binigay sakanya. Aurora took it. Elli stared at her smoking.

"Sarap? Nilawayan ko yan." Biro niya. Nagpanic si Aurora at naubo ang usok. "Arte mo naman?" reklamo ni Elli at kinuha ang yosi sa kamay nito. Tinignan niya ito nang masama but shy after seeing her liptint staint sa cigarette. Blushed when Elli put it on her lips again.

Elli. Elli. Elli.

She never failed to make her feel things.