FRIEND OF MINE (2nd Generation HUGS)

Chapter 15 -Permanently Stuck In Me

Chapter 15 -Permanently Stuck In Me

Natapos ang year na parang dumaan lang. Ang bilis ng mga araw that it seems pumikit lang ako and now it is another year. Bago pa dumating ang taon na ito ay marami ng naka-plan na occasions. The nearest is my best friend’s 27th birthday which is a month from now. I just don’t know if he will go home in the Philippines since kapapanganak pa lang ni Phoebe with a bouncing baby boy, just so I heard. Mula naman ng huling pag-uusap namin sa covered court ay hindi na kami ulit nag-usap pa. I saw him sa group chat namin but we were like strangers there dahil hindi naman niya ako kino-call out or mine-mention and vice versa. Moving on, the next on the list of occasions this year is my dad’s birthday who happened to be after Zinnie’s kaya for sure ay uuwi ako ng country. Hinding-hindi papayag si daddy even Tita Coreen na hindi kami complete magkakapatid sa birthday ng father namin. 

After birthday celebrations ay ang balitang usap-usapan sa group chat namin pagpasok pa lang ng taon. Phoebe’s much awaited wedding with my best friend. Yes that’s right. This year ay ikakasal na sila. I’ve learned from Zinnie personally na planado na ang lahat before pa manganak si Phoebe. Gusto daw nila Tito Zeus at Tita Lovely na bago ang baptismal ni Third ay kasal na ang dalawa. They are already done with all of the preparations and the much awaited wedding na unang-una sa second generation HUGS is to be held this June, just few months before I turn 27. Ang sabi ay sa Boston daw nila gagawin ang wedding and everyone is invited to come. When I have seen the conversation sa group chat namin, I won’t deny the fact that I have wished for the worst thing to happen. Call me bitter or a bad person but I did wished na sana ay may mangyari para hindi matuloy ang kasal nila. Well until now naman ay hoping pa rin naman ako na fate will be on my side ay huwag matuloy ang planned wedding nila. I don’t know kung bakit hindi ako maka-bitiw sa pag-asa na may kami pa rin ni Ziggy sa huli. Even if nakikita ko na that there is no hope for us, with all that had happened sa life niya at itong nalalapit na kasal niya, somewhere in the deepest part of my heart ay umaasa pa rin ako. Umaasa ako kahit alam kong impossible and that in the end, it will be Ziggy and me. Sabi nga sa isang song that I have learned to love, “Somewhere down the road, our roads are gonna cross again it doesn’t really matter when. Somewhere down the road, I know that heart of yours will come to see will come to see. That you belong with me.” Just like what the lyrics says, I am hoping that someday it will be him and me. Hindi ko alam kung paano ito mangyari at hindi ko alam kung mangyayari pa nga ba, but I will be holding on with what heart is saying. Hinding-hindi ako bibitaw sa sinasabi ng heart ko, come hell or high waters. 

Speaking of wedding planning, I am now here with Troy sa isang flower shop where we will be choosing for our wedding. Yes, just like sa best friend ko, my wedding with Troy is to take place as well. Kahit pa there seems to be a battlefield sa loob ng heart ko na sabayan pa ng frequent na paalala at payo sa akin ni daddy, I have decided to still push through with our wedding which is already set on the day of my birthday. I didn’t let my heart overrule my mind dahil alam ko na ito ang tamang gawin ko kahit pa against ang heart ko. This is for the betterment of all. We are already done with our outfits and same with our entourage’s suits and gowns. Our wedding motif is a combination of silver and black which was suggested to us by one of our friends. And since malapit ako sa mga friends ni daddy especially to their children, I have included most of them as part of our entourage at sa side rin ni Troy. 

‘I think tulips are nice, what do think Love? We can have white ones to compliment our motif.’ napatingin ako sa picture ng set of tulip bouquets sa wedding catalog nila.

‘Yeah. I think tulips are good. The white ones will look perfect with silver wraps then black ribbon or vice versa.’ I smile when the wedding coordinator gives us an approved hand gesture. 

‘And since it’s millenium, black and silver are two of the most ideal colors nowadays. Gone are the days when weddings were a pool of whites. Those were during our ancestors, and who likes them nowadays right?’ natawa rin kami sa sinabi ng flower shop owner. 

‘So are you fine with white tulips Love?’ tumango ako kay Troy before gazing at my wrist watch. I have a general meeting within a hour at kailangan ko ng makabalik sa office if I don’t want to be late. Siguro ay napansin niya rin kaya niyaya na niya akong umalis after signing something. Hinatid na niya ako pabalik sa office. ‘I won’t be able to fetch you later Love. May shoot ako mamayang gabi.’

‘It’s alright. Nasa basement naman ang car ko so ayos lang.’ He peck my lips before letting me go. 

Habang naglalakad papunta sa office ko ay tumunog ang phone ko, but before I can even reach for it inside my bag ay namatay na ang call. I shrug my shoulders before walking inside the elevator. Pero bago pa ako makalabas ay muling tumunog ang phone ko. I am able to reach for it pero nagtaka ako upon seeing an unregistered number. Nagdadalawang isip ako to answer it or not but in the end, I chose the latter and return it inside my bag. Kung important ang tawag ay sigurado naman that the caller will message me. Dumiretso na ako sa office ko then after a while ay naglakad na kami ni Claudine to the Convention Hall where the said general meeting will be held. 

---

Hindi pa rin siya nagbabago. She still doesn’t answer calls kapag hindi ito naka-register sa phonebook niya. I shook my head before placing my phone on the front seat. I am heading to our temporary home at naisip ko lang to gave her a ring para sana kamustahin siya. The news came to me through my sister last week lang. Nabanggit niya when we had a video chat na ikakasal na rin pala sila Troy and Bella this year. They will do it in our homeland for convenience sa mga participants ng entourage daw nila. 

Honestly nang malaman ko ang balitang yun ay magkahalong saya at lungkot ang naramdaman ko. Ofcourse I am happy that my best friend and the second person closest to my heart next to my family is finally settling down. Finally ay may titingin na at mag-aalaga sa kanya. Alam kong nasa mabuting kamay siya dahil mabait at responsible ang mapapang-asawa niya. I’ve known Troy since naging sila at alam kong mabuting tao siya at disente. At alam ko rin that he have preserve Bella until their wedding night, that’s how he has respected my best friend kaya saludo rin ako sa kanya. Bella will be in good hands after all. Ang nakakalungkot lang ay ako sana ang nandoon kung hindi lang nahuli ang lahat. That could be me kung hindi lang ako naging tanga at manhid noon. There is no one to blame here but me. Ako ang may kasalanan kung bakit hindi naging kami ni Bella. Kung noon pa ay nakita ko na ang mga signs na yun, baka matagal ng naging kami. But don’t get me wrong, I am happy now with Phoebe and our son Zeus Genesis Reiz III. But I could be even more happier if it was with Bella. Aaminin ko na may bahagi pa rin sa puso ko na umaasa for the two of us, pero siguro nga ay hanggang pag-asa na lang ang kaya kong gawin dahil planado na ang lahat para sa future ko. Siguro ay hanggang mangarap ng gising na lang ang pwede kong gawin because I know that everything is impossible anyway. Ang pwede ko na lang gawin ay balikan ang mga happy memories namin noon and cherish it then maybe, if God will permit, to continue to do memories of us kapag naging maayos na ulit ang friendship namin dalawa. 

Last week, I already bought a new home in Boston for our family where we will stay right after our wedding. Hindi ko pa ito sinasabi sa kanya, I wanted it to be a surprise. May pinapagawa rin ako na rest house in the Philippines, also in Antipolo para malapit lang kila Mama. Although my parents already said that the mansion will be ours ng kapatid ko kapag wala na sila, I have decided to give it to my sister instead. I want to establish my own for my family, just like what dad did for us nila Mama and Zinnie. 

Speaking of family, Phoebe and Third which is my son’s nickname, I considered them as mine already kahit hindi pa kami kasal. Sobrang saya namin the moment we gaze on our son paglabas niya sa delivery room. He is so handsome and such a big baby. Nakakatuwa dahil tatay na ako, iba pala talaga ang feeling. Daddy and Mama was right. There is an unexplainable feeling that you can’t literally describe once na makita mo na sa unang pagkakataon ang anak mo. It’s a mixture of uttermost joy and delight plus the excitement never dies. Makikita rin kay Phoebe how fulfilled she is. I told her pati to stop working, hindi na niya need pa na mag-work dahil I want her to be like Mama who takes care of her family na lang. Hindi naman siya kumontra sa decision ko dahil matagal na namin pinag-usapan ang bagay na yun noong pregnant pa lang siya. Tuwang-tuwa rin sila Zinnie and my parents when they’ve visited our son, lumipad sila from the Philippines to Boston a day after Phoebe gave birth to Third. 

Paghinto ko sa pavement ng bahay namin ay mabilis akong lumabas ng car and excitement filled my lungs again. Kapag umalis ako dito every morning ay kulang na lang ay huwag akong umalis dahil namimiss ko na kaagad ang little boy ko. When I open the gate, I immediately saw them seating on a rocking chair at the porch. My lips automatically stretch the minute I saw my son sleeping while Phoebe is cradling him in her arms. 

‘How’s my Little Third?’ I gently nuzzle his fat legs before giving Phoebe a chaste kiss at her lips. ‘You didn’t give mommy a hard time, little boy?’ natawa ako when Third’s little head moves a little, as if he is saying he didn’t. 

‘He didn’t po, Daddy. Little Third is kind today. He just slept the whole day kaya I got to rest as well. Here, hold him so I can prepare dinner.’ my eyebrow slightly arch.

‘You sure about that?’

‘Yes. I have learned a few dishes already through the internet.’

‘Alright. Come to Daddy Handsome, Little Third.’ I gently scoop my son with Phoebe aiding me before I settle back at the rocking chair, 

Nang solo na lang kami ng anak ko ay tinitigan ko siya ng maigi. Nakakatuwa isipin na may maliit na akong Ziggy, someone will call na sa akin ng Daddy soon kung nakakapagsalita na siya. May tuturuan na naman akong mag-basketball sa court. Bigla akong napahinto when I remember her again. Huminga ako ng malalim then release long and heavy breaths. Hindi na nga siguro siya maalis sa buong sistema ko. Lahat na lang ng isipin ko ay kasa-kasama siya. She is like a heavy-duty glue that is permanently stuck in me and will forever be attached to my life. Paano naman siya hindi masasali palagi kung halos mahigit kalahati ng buhay ko ay siya ang kasama ko? That skinny lady who held my heart captive until this very moment. Napapangiti ako while thinking of her and our past together. 

------,--’-,-{@